How dare he? I mean really how DARE he?
You know Hagrids dog Fang right? The old ugly piece of carpet?
He chased me! Like it was some ordinary cat-dog thing!
But guess what! I am not an ordinary cat now am I!
I am going to give him piece of my mind!
… As soon as he falls asleep…
I'm not a coward it's just... ehm… I have a very good reason er…
I just can't think of it right now!
Stupid dog.
I think all Animals except for cats hate me! Some owls too! I don't really think Owls should be counted as animals… they are just too dumb!
Alright maybe not dumb but they are certainly attention seekers!
Yep that's it, attention seekers! Showing off like "Uuh I can fly to Greenland and back again!"
Oh yeah well I can eat for 2 days straight but does anybody give a damn? Nooo they just put me on a diet.
I feel so… so misunderstood again. No catseltongue to make me feel better.
I think I want to go and have a chat with somebody. Malfoy maybe, see what he is doing.
Maybe scratch him a little, he threw me into the lake remember?
---
I can't find him anywhere!
I've searched the Kitchen (and took a little break there too of course but didn't get anything but salad, stupid house elfs), the astronomy tower (my paws still hurt from that), the great hall, The Lake; I even searched the damn bathroom on 4th floor!
Well, maybe I ought to take a break. Take a little nap in the common room.
The couches in there are just dreamy!
I got through my cat "door" that Dumbledore made in the Painting for me and got inside.
No way! Shit I feel stupid! Of course Malfoy is in here.
Where would he else be? Stupid stupid cat brain, not big enough for any kind of logic…
"Crookshanks," Malfoy says and cuts me off from my thoughts.
"Miaw, miaw miaw" I say, ("Malfoy, how nice to see you")
"You're not going to take my book away again are you?" Malfoy asks almost threateningly.
"Miaw! Miaw miaw" I say meaning "No! I just came to have a little chat"
"Aha" Malfoy says giving me bit of a strange look.
I jump up on the couch and make my self comfortable.
"miaw, miaw miaw" I say ("I saw you two getting awfully close today")
"There is nothing between me and H-Granger you," Malfoy sneers.
"Miaw," I say almost smiling because of my brilliance ("I never said there was,")
But of course cats can't smile, it's quit sad actually, the only thing I can do that will show if I'm happy is purr like I've got something up my throat. I mean I am not going to start the tail thing, that's for dogs.
"Stupid cat!" Malfoy says trying to hide his embarrassment.
But I see straight through that boy! Oh and his cheeks are a bit more skin coloured then usually.
He doesn't go red; he just looks more human when he blushes.
Cats don't blush either. We cats don't really show any feelings do we? There's too much fur in the way… It's only humans who show their weaknesses. Poor human, I've heard that 99 percent of what they say is body language.
It must be hard to always being have to "read" the person before you.
Like "I'm a teapot!"
They have to analyse that, is it a happy statement?
Or is it a sad statement.
And of course they have to check if the person before them really is a teapot or if the person maybe just being sarcastic. Yes it happens, sometimes (though very rarely) that the person was being sarcastic and therefore is not a teapot.
Dum dada dum dum dum dum dum dada dum.
Once again I start huming James Bond as I leave poor Malfoy to his thoughts.
May the force be with him.
Dum dum dum dum
You may not see the difference but that was the Darth Vader theme melody. Just to add in on the drama of course.
Well what to do now?
Eat?
No, I don't want salad or carrot crackers.
Uh I know! Trelawney was always so nice to me! And she has REAL crackers! With chocolate in them! Wait, that's called cookies then right? Hm… must think a bit about that one…
But off we go to see the crazy old bat.
(A/N Think of a Film Noir while reading this)
I slowly walked down the hall, dreading when I would reach the stairs.
Those big mean stairs.
If only I could somehow catch them doing anything wrong
But I knew, it was impossible, those stairs would never do any thing beside trip people when I wasn't looking.
I reached the stairs giving them a distrustful look before I carefully started climb the stairs.
One step, two steps
(A/N You can stop now with the Film noir, really it is up to you)
AHA! Didn't get me there now did you! Stupid staircase like I would be tricked that easi---ARRGH
Damn it! Now I have to start again!
Bloody stairs I mumbled with of course a double 'Miaw'.
After a few more (6… okay not true, 8 is more the number...) falls down I finally reached the top very much bruised.
Ow, ow, ow
It hurts even when I walk!
Luckily Trelawney had her stair down so I could climb up into her classroom/office.
"Miaw!" I call when I reach the floor.
"Oh Crookshanks! I had a feeling that you would be coming," She says giving me a warm smile.
I'm not much better then Hermione when it comes to Divination. I actually think she's right thinking that it's rubbish.
I mean you just can't see somebody's future by looking at a teacup!
That just isn't possible.
"Miaw, miaw?" I say trying to start a conversation.
"You want milk?" Trelawney says and pats me on the head,
Noo! Damn I was getting so used to people understanding my rubbish!
I shake my head to tell her no but she of course doesn't get it.
"Alright kitty I'll go get you a big bowl of milk," She coos "Yes I am, yes I am"
Ugh, that is just scary.
I always had a phobia for Baby talk.
I mean I almost scream from horror when somebody starts "Here kitty kitty here kitty kitty" with that low voice and start slowly walking towards me… it's just a teeny bit frightening don't you think?
Well as soon as the old bat turned around I ran as fast as I possible could (trying not to notice the slug moving faster then me…) but well, I ran without Trelawney noticing and that is something to be proud of right? Right?
Uh lets just drop it,
Well, finally I reached the common room once again, this time it wasconveniently empty.
And since I am so sweaty after all that 'running' and I still smell from falling into that lake I think I am going to take a "bath" if you know whatI meanand I really want some privacy
So, buh-bye now.
A/N: So, you like? I actually think it's just a teeny bit longer then usual right? Well I've been sick today so had a bit more time to write.
Thanks to Crystal Koneko, irishpiratess, jjp91, psycho4DUCKS, Lena and Snow Mouse for reviewing!
Special note to:
Lena: Thanks for the advice! No wonder I thought it looked a bit wrong…
Irishpiratess: of course after all I'm a genius! Or somewhere near that…
jjp91: Well have you have considered that it might be trying to fetch the mail man for you and not just chasing him? Lol Nah I'm kidding, but you can't blame good old Crookshanks for not liking dogs now can you? It's his natural instinct… or something like that
Review! -Boogie