Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything related to it
A/N: Oh my god! I just realised I haven't mentioned Ron or Harry in the last... what 7 chapters? Unbelievable!
And the rubbish will start riiiight NOW!
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It's been a strange day.
Malfoy and Hermione have been totally ignoring each other.
Or maybe not totally, they keep giving each other short glances for then quickly look away and blush, okay, Malfoy doesn't really blush. It's not his thing. Though I swear I saw his skin look human for a second!
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Hermione has been going nuts on grooming my fur.
Ginny is helping her, that girl has some rough hands! She can't do anything carefully or gently.
Oh what did I expect? She's the only girl amongst what 30 boys? Cats can't count.
"So what's up with you lately?" Ginny asks Hermione while she ties a particularly tight braid making me hiss.
"I'm fine!" Hermione says just a teeny bit too defensively.
"Tell me!" Ginny orders, ever heard the curiosity killed the cat? Well I don't really want to be killed now do I? Humans, never listen, "Has it anything to do with the Head Boy?"
"NO!" Hermione yells for then to blush once again,
I swear she is related to a tomato...
"It is about Malfoy!" Ginny sequels, "What did you do? Kiss?
Of course Ginny starts laughing at her own joke but stops after seeing Hermione blush an even darker red.
"No you didn't!" Ginny says disbelieving.
"He came on to ME!" Hermione says, "Stupid prick"
"You got kissed by the sexy slytherin?" Ginny says, "You lucky girl!"
"No! I do not want to be a lucky girl! He shouldn't have kissed me."
"Did you break it off then?"
Again Hermione blushes, more then humanly is possible and mutters a soft no incoherent for normal people.
But remember I've got my super power hearing.
"What?" Ginny asks proving my point that Humans don't have very good hearing,
"No alright? I didn't break it off" Hermione says suddenly angry,
I think I'm going now; I do not want a mad woman grooming my fur,
"You liked it!" Was the last thing I heard before I turned to my ability to sneak and sneaked out of the room. I'm a sneaky little chess board, as all of you know.
…
I walked around the castle looking for Mrs. Norris; I haven't "talked" to her for ages!
Better look for Peeves first, she's always around him, because well she is supposed to find troublemakers right? And Peeves is as big as my tummy when it comes to troublemaking! (And that is pretty pretty big!)
Once again I couldn't find her, where the heck can she be?
Maybe I should check the m-map.
If Scarhead is going to lend it to me…
I might have better luck finding him, he's just one of those you'll find in a second.
What did I say? There he comes.
But he doesn't understand me does he?
"May I borrow your map?" I maiw.
Surprisingly he answers.
"Hiss hiss hiss" He hisses. Forgot that he was a parseltongue.
I think that is the stupidest and most annoying tongues you can have.
I mean hiss? Miaw or even quack is much better!
Snakes… never liked them.
I let him walk by and decided to just take the map and put it back after using it.
Scarhead will never realise I took it.
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Humming the theme of Mission Impossible as quietly as I could I creep into the Gryffindor common room.
Dududu dududu
Slowly I sneak past the students not one noticing me, but of course my luck wasn't about to last.
"Look! A Kitty cat!" One of the first years suddenly exclaims, "Here kitty kitty"
All right, I admit it I panicked.
I gave one very squeal-like miaw and run up the stairs to the boy's dorm like my tail was on fire.
Well at least it sped things up a little.
Which one is Harry's?
Ah there it is, surprisingly it's the mosttidy bed of them all. No clothes everywhere or anything of the sort. I'm starting to think maybe he is the gay one?
Oh well, where could the map be hiding?
Stupid boy, he hid it under his pillow! The most obvious place of them all!
Oh well, can't blame the boy for not having any brains, maybe the scar is where it all leaked out?
That could maybe be the answer! When The "Dark" lord tried to kill him when he was 1 the spell must somehow have made his brain go out through a lightning shaped opening. Now that was what hit Voldemort in the head, he just couldn't handle touching such unintelligent brian.
Maybe a bit farfetched but come on! It does make a bit sense now doesn't it?
Well grabbing the map I ran out to find a more private place to study it.
The private place ended up being inside the transfiguration classroom.
I crawled up on the desk and unfolded the map.
But then it hit me I can't pronounce the password!
"I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good" I try and meow.
It worked? That was strange; one of those marauder guys must have been a catsletongue
Oh well, where's Mrs. Norris…
There's Dumbledore… in the girls' bathroom? With… no! With McGonagall? Ew, sick!
There she is! Mrs. Norris forth floor, what is Fang doing there too?
Oh I must go and save her!
Galloping out of the classroom I felt fear start making it self known.
Hehe sounds a bit dramatic now doesn't it?
Oh well, finally I reach the Fourth floor only to be meet with the most horrifying sight anybody could imagine.
A cat and a dog kissing… (Credit to Sienna)
Impossible maybe but that was what they were doing,
"Miaw miaw!" I half yell ("I am scarred for life!")
Mrs. Norris jumps away from Fang and looks very guilty at me,
"How could you!" I miaw angry, "After all I've done!"
"I'm sorry!" Mrs. Norris meows looking very guilty and sad, "but I'm Happy with Fang,"
"Noooo!" I miaw as loudly as a cat can miaw, I've just lost both my female cats… I feel so hurt, so used, so...misunderstood!
And there isn't any catsletongue to make me feel better… sobs.
Better find Malfoy quickly, sob before I commit suicide from all of this depression and despair and desolation and dejection and despondency … and a lot of other D words! (Don't know if all of those mix together, just looked up some intelligent looking words starting with a D. lol)
I leave melodramatically, skipping down the hall to the kitchen.
Reaching the kitchen I get myself a bottle of cow milk (Showing how far out of it I am)
Sitting down at the table besides a very depress looking Malfoy.
"Rough day?" Malfoy asks
"Yeah," I miaw taking a swig of the white liquid moodily
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A/N: All right, I'm not sure if swig is the right word, oh well hope you liked it!
Thanks to Novacaine Junkie, Zidra, psycho4DUCKS, Blackness Angel, sienna, musicalbballgal and FlairVerona for the reviews! You guys rock!
Special note to:
Novacaine Junkie: So my dear relative good luck with your story! May the Humour be with you!
Sienna: Yeah, that hair really irritated me too! I mean he may look pretty good with it; it just didn't fit in the character. Can't wait for the fourth movie! Though I've seen from trailer that Harry and Ron's hair is going to be worse then Malfoy's in the third movie… their style is so… uhm shall we say seventies? Lol. Thanks for the very crazy and useful ideas! Don't know what I should have done without you! If you ever think of more ideas please do share lol
FlairVerona: Well he's a catsletongue, meaning he understands the meaningless miaws and meows that cats use to communicate with. He got it from his father who got it from is father who got it from his father…I think you catch my drift.
psycho4DUCKS: Aww thanks! –Blushes-.
Review! -Boogie