Hermione opened her mouth to speak, but then stopped and with a pop was gone. I started to pace up and down thinking about what I had just said. Did I really want to kill my parents? Did I truly not want to go to Hogwarts? Was I ever sure that I wasn't still sleeping?
I tried slapping myself to see if I would wake up, but I didn't. I started to take deeper and deeper breaths and soon it was almost as if I wasn't breathing. Hermione had been gone for five minuets … ten … twenty. Then I heard another pop.
Hermione had come back but Scrimgeour wasn't with her. She was breathing less than I was, though I had no idea why. Once she caught her breath she said, "I can't find him. He's no one that I could think of. We could send an owl, Hedwig would find him."
"No, don't bother. But Hermione would you do me a favor," I asked. She nodded and I continued. "Would you not tell anyone and, I know this is two, but would you also help me learn more … advance magic?" I had just asked her what she knew all along I would. She obviously didn't think I would be like this, but she did think it would happen.
"I won't tell anyone but … what do you mean by "advance magic?" she asked looking away, though I wasn't sure why.
"I just want to learn something so I can, you know …" I didn't feel like saying kill my parents again. It didn't seem like it would be a good thing to say out loud in this house again. I was almost sure the walls had ears.
Hermione looked like she understood and nodded, a little weakly. I looked at her and smiled, this was one of the 100 true smiles I had ever given in my life. I would only truly smile at my "mom" and this makes the second other time. The first was the other day when Harry had tripped and landed on me. I couldn't help but smile it was huge and bright and real.
It seemed, to me at least, that here in the wizarding world, the worst your life becomes, the more simple things mean. That might be the same in the normal world, but not for me. I had to work non-stop and that made me mad, not appreciative.
Hermione was no longer in the room. I wanted desperately to go look for her, but didn't want to intrude. I just wanted to sit and think even more. I went up to my room, but on the way over overheard my second conversation.
"She wants to kill her parents, Harry. That doesn't seem to me like she's a Death Eater. Why can't you just give her a chance? Is it that hard? She's not her parents, you know?" I girls voice rang though my ears. It sounded like Hermione but she told me she wouldn't tell…. But I guess I can't even trust perfect Hermione.
"Haven't you ever heard the phrase 'like mother like daughter'?" a man asked, who I was sure was Harry.
"Well you know her mother was a teacher. She only knew Bellatrix for a year when she was a baby, she is not her mother. She is just someone who helped in the creation," Hermione persisted. I was mad that she told Harry, but was even happier that she was sticking up for me.
"Well, I don't care Hermione! She cannot come with us. I don't care if you and her are the best of friends, I don't want her near me."
I just realized I was crying. I wasn't certain that I just started just that I hadn't noticed. I sat down in front of the door, my head resting on my knees. Then the door opened and I was flung backward, but someone caught me. It was Harry, but this time no one smiled when someone fell.
I got up and fast and slow as possible. I didn't want to move but at the same time I wanted to as far from Harry as possible. I dusted myself off the same way I did when I met him. We glanced at each other but then I quickly looked away. Hermione seemed to have noticed that I was crying and handed me a handkerchief. I wiped my eyes and started to walk out the door. But I couldn't.
Harry couldn't leave either. Hermione was standing outside smiling evilly. I didn't know what she did, but I frankly didn't care. I just wanted to get out of here. "Hermione what's going on?" Harry and I asked at the same time.
"You both are trapped in here until you get along." She didn't offer any more of an explanation and she was gone. I've always wanted to talk to Harry, for him to be nice and great me with "open arms." But right now I would rather choke on a bottle of vodka, which I know isn't possible.
Harry made no acknowledgement that I was stuck in the room with him. He just paced up and down acting as if he was alone and had a math test to take. The door was open and I saw Hermione walk by. "Hermione," I yelled. She turned back around and stood facing me in the doorway. "How am I supposed to learn if I'm stuck here with … Harry?"
"I gave that some thought," she said then turned to Harry who was now standing next to me. "You are to teach her. All that she needs to learn now you would be better at teaching. The sooner she's completed her training the sooner you're out. And here's some of the enchanted sleep potion, I don't want to see you sleeping."
"But Hermione?" Harry and I said in protest but she just put the books and potion vials down and left. Harry went back to his pacing and I decided to at least look at the books. They were the same ones that I saw in Scrimgeour's office. A Compendium of Common Curses and Their Counter-Actions … The Dark Arts Outsmarted … Self-Defensive Spell Work. It seemed like I had gotten my wish, but now that I had it I was having lots of second thoughts.
I suddenly felt Harry sit down next to me. He was closer to me than I had even imagined in my daydreams. He was leaning on me looking at the book. If had been anyone else, I would have thought he was using the book as a reason for being close to me. I knew Harry hated me and that he would never have been next to me if wasn't for Hermione, but I couldn't help but pretend that he wanted to be with me.
He was only next to me for about a minute. Then he got up. He had a disgusted look on his face, as I was something he wanted to throw in the trash. But then I he did something I would have never guess in my whole entire life, even now looking back on it, that he would have done. He extended a hand and helped me up. Sure it wasn't I big deal but it was … nice.
He didn't say anything for a while; he kept opening his mouth but never said anything. Then he said, "Let's just put aside our differences and work with what we have in front of us. I will teach you but you better treat me with … respect."
I didn't know what to say. Was I supposed to agree? Truthfully it was only him who had difference. I didn't mind Harry, sure I didn't like it just being him and me, but even though he was extremely mean to me, I had nothing against him.
Harry then suddenly broke the silence. "Let's begin …"
x/X\x
It had been two days. We had progressed magically but not friendly. He wasn't the worst had he ever been, but the respect that I showed him wasn't shown back. Hermione gave us food three times a day and the rest we just had to deal with just each other. It wasn't the best two days ever.
By the end of the third day I was so sure that we were never going to be able to leave. Hermione would never answer our questions about it; she would just smile and walk away. The only thing is we've been doing everything she asked for. Harry was teaching we were being reasonably nice to each other. I was starting to think that we had to be a perfect little family if we wanted to leave. I even told Harry this, but he disagreed.
"Why would we have to be a happy family? It's not like you're secretly in love with me," Harry told me. I laughed at this nervously, but Harry took no notice. I had no idea if he truly thought that I didn't like him at all. I wasn't really sure how I felt about him. At times I wanted to push him off a building but then I would go and catch him before he hit the ground.
x/X\x
Harry said that I'd learned everything that I needed to. Hermione seemed satisfied by this, but not ecstatic. I guessed that she thought that we would be closer by the end of this period, but she was wrong. Harry's hatred for my parents built a barrier in front of his heart.
It felt so nice to see the rest of the house. Everyone was nicer, I'm guessing because I was stuck with someone who hated me for a week non-stop. Harry put more of an effort into being nice to be, just so we wouldn't have to be stuck together again. He was almost as nice to me as he was Ginny, and that made her a smidge mad.
It was dinner time and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley went out. It was just Harry, Ginny, Hermione, Ron, and me. Harry was complementing me on my "brilliant Jelly Jinx." Hermione smiled at me as I said thank you. The mood of the dinner suddenly turned upside down. Ginny burst out in tears.
"What's wrong?" everyone asked looking concerned. I wasn't sure if she even heard us over her sobs. Harry wrapped her arm around her to try and comfort her. Ginny looked uncomfortable but didn't remove his arm.
She stopped crying and whispered, "Harry, if you liked Parker then why are you still going out with me?"
I couldn't help but laugh. It was the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Everyone looked at me and I stopped abruptly. "I don't like Parker! How could I ever like a Lestrange?"
Harry had said too much and he knew it. Ginny didn't know of my parents until now. She looked up and said, "What, she Parker Cullen, not Parker Lestrange. You don't have to lie to me, Harry." Then she looked at me as if to that I was just as confused as her.
I looked at Ginny trying to decide what to tell her. Then I opened my mouth and as quiet as possible I said, "Harry's right he could never love a Lestrange, he could never love me." I rushed out of the room not caring how weird it looked. I already knew Harry would never love me, but to hear him say it hurt with so much impact. I lay down on my bed and cried myself to sleep.
I didn't want to move at all the next morning. Ginny was shaking me and telling me, in a ruder voice than normal, its time for breakfast and needed to get up. I ignored her and pulled my blankets up over my head. I slept.
A little later someone was shaking me awake again. But it wasn't Ginny it was Harry. "Parker you need to get up. School starts in two days. I'm sorry I didn't mean to tell Ginny." He thinks I'm mad at that not that he could never love me.
"But you need to get up," he continued on. "Please just get up." He stoked my hair and got up. The door slammed and I sat up.
What am I doing? Am I just gonna waste my life here? I need to talk to Scrimgeour and tell him I can't go to school. I have to, I have to, I thought. I stood up and went to look for Hermione. She was no where to be found. I went to look for Harry and saw him sleeping.
In the whole week that I was with him, I never saw him sleep. We used the enchanted sleep so we were asleep at the same time. He looked different. His glasses were off and I could his green eyes easier. His breath was slow and long. His mouth was curled into a smile as if he was dreaming of something perfect. I learned down and kissed his forehead.
I shook him awake and said, "Harry I'm awake but I need you to do something for me?"
He didn't say anything for the longest time. Then he mumbled something that sounded like what. I wasn't sure what to say. I need to see Scrimgeour and tell him I'm not going to Hogwarts? I need to kill my parents so I have to talk to Scrimgeour?
Then I decided on, "I need to talk to Scrimgeour. Will you please Apparate me there?"
"Yeah, just give me a minute." I was surprised he said yes. It wasn't something that Harry would normally do for me. He searched around for some shoes, put them on, and took my hand.