Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT, Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, Michelangelo,

Master Splinter, Casey, or April.

Rating: Rated M! CHARACTER DEATH!

Pairing: LeoxRaph and DonxMike

Warning!: If you don't like or know what Yaoi is, then don't read! In Raphs POV.

When I woke up I was in my room... strapped down. 'Damn my head! What the shell is going...Oh no...' I growl "LEO!" I yell it to tha of my lungs, I need to find him! And Mike!

"DON LEMME OUTTA HERE!" I start arching my back as high as this God damn shell lets me! I hiss feeling my right fist stinging. Why is it stinging? It only stings like this if I'm in a fight and don't have my weapons- wait. I must've hit someone! Oh shell, that's why I'm strapped down! They gotta be kidding me! Me, Raphael Hamato, DANGEROUS?

...Alright, guess that is a stretch to say tha least. But still, I ain't gonna bite! I mean Don's a ninja too so I'll bet my shell on it if I hit him anywhere it was his shell, and Casey that big lug can take a punch! So I didn't really hurt 'em too bad! ...Right?

I close my eyes and try to remember what happened before I blacked out. Lets see...

I saw that I was two timed by some imposter, and that Leo was missing (that still stung) and when I saw that I went looking for him all in his room. I'm pretty sure I tore it up. Heh, then Don came in with Casey and- ... and April...

I look down at my fist and feel sweat dripping, it was bandaged but, did I actually hit not Casey, not Don, but... oh God.

"D-Donnie! C-C-Casey! You guys please! I d-d-didn't mean ta hit April!" I feel my eyes sting that I hit one of the few humans who actually befriended us, us teenage mutant ninja turtles!

I turn my head shivering with guilt, and feel a knot in my stomach. "H-Have I... am I really that dangerous? T-That I can't even control myself and hurt people who just- just wanna help us, help me? Fuck! I screwed up big time! Damn it April, I'm so sorry, please guys... I-I aint gonna hurt no one! Please! I wanna help ya find L-Leo and Mikey!"

I wait a few minutes and hear soft footsteps. Someone forces my head towards them and I wince. I look ta see Casey, and he looks mad. His eyes are puffy and he's grounding his teeth. Rage and hate fill them eyes, and I feel that my best bud aint gonna be my best bud if I don't say something quick.

"C-Casey! How's April, did I really hit her-! OW!" I spit blood after he punches the hell outta my face. I close my eyes and here 'im panting, probably 'cause he put all of his force into that one punch, or maybe only a quarter. Either way I feel fear striking in me.

"Casey please! I'm sorry man- its just Leo-" He punches me again and takes me by my head and spits

"LEO, LEO, LEO! THATS ALL YA EVA CARE 'BOUT RAPH, WHADDA 'BOUT MIKE, DON, OR APRIL! What about ME! Huh Raph? HUH? Or what about yer Master Splinter! Why is it ya only care about LEO? I used to think ya hated each other 'til you almost KILLED HIM! Remember you told me? Well what now? Your best friend! WHAT CHANGED?"

I stare at 'im and try to think of what he's saying, and well... guess he's right. Its true, Leos been the only one I think of when I think of someone I care about, and that's selfish. I stare at Casey and open my mouth but... close it.

He sneers and pushes my shoulders back making my head bang against the wall. "RAPH! What the hell! Aren't I yer best friend? Why'd that have to change just cause Leo and you made up? Tell me why everything's changed! Raph I-I miss the guy who was my best friend, who was my ONLY friend!"

I look at him and can't believe my ears (even though I dont have any) and say in a meek tone that really don't sound like me at all.

"What...? Casey, did you just say..." He nods shaking still gripping my shoulders. He tenses and looks at me with eyes that are watering, I feel like kicking myself, and he kinda reminds me of Mike right now with them big blue eyes...

"Raph, buddy... please tell me what's going on with you an Leo..." I sigh mentally but nod. Case does deserve ta know, Leo, please forgive me.

"Case... me an' Leo, were kinda... going out..." I wanna close my eyes but my pride doesn't let me. So I look up and see him staring at the wall. I don't know why but I feel nervous, maybe 'cause Casey would hate me cause I'm dating my brother. Or something like that. I wait and after a few minutes I think about asking him something, but he clears his throat,

"Oh... well yous guys are... going out..." It wasn't really a question I think, but I answer it anyway.

"Yeah... been going out since we saved Leo.. look its a LONG story Casey, and I'm pretty sure ya still hate my guts if not more but I still wanna ask ya to.. to stay my bud, my friend... 'C-Cause ya know my life would be boring with out ya a-around Case, your my best friend too!"

I stare at the ceiling feeling so damn lame, but he laughs and pats my shoulder. I feel the pressure ease off and release the breath I didn't know I was holding in. I tilt my head to look at 'im and say quietly

"So... ya forgive me?" Casey stops laughing and looks at me seriously, and for a minute my stomach drops. He smiles slightly but it looks kinda sad and he nods.

"Yeah, guess I have ta... but it aint ME yous got's to worry 'bout, its Ape... she's really upset but she don't hate you. That much I know, and she might understand if you tell her 'bout you an' Leo... Same with Don." I gulp and nod slowly, 'cause I didn't think I'd have to tell Donny and April about me an' Leo without Leo!

But its the only way to get Apes forgiveness and for Don to trust me a bit more now... Casey undoes the straps and I sit up, rubbing the marks they made on my wrists and ankles. I dangle my feet off my hammock and push my self up. I feel a little dizzy but Case supports me.

"Wow there big guy, watch it, you've been strapped to that hammock for 2 days! Ya need to take it slow." It takes a minute until I realize he said 32 hours. I say in a 'you-gotta-be-kidding-me' voice

"2 days? What the hell?" Casey puts his hands up and smiles nervously

"Hey man, you went psycho rememba? So Don used a needle to inject some shit into ya, and that knocked you out for a 32 hours!" I blink and stare at 'im.

"... Casey." I say closing my eyes and rubbing my temples while turning into another direction trying not to lose my cool.

"Yeah?" My very, very, very, special friend says.

"32 hours is not TWO DAYS, that's 48 hours! 32 is a day and 8 hours!" I snap at the end.

I sigh and walk out still kinda tripping. I storm towards the lab and Casey strides along side me,

"Hey you know I 'aint good at no math!" I roll my eyes and ignore him, big goof. 'Alright, so I gotta tell Ape and Don 'bout me an Leo! That 'aint going to be so hard, right?... Right?... RIGHT?' I slap my forehead.

Damn, I think I'm going crazy. Any way when I get to Dons lab I hear a crash.

"DAMN IT! WHY CAN'T I DO ANYTHING!" I peek in and Casey is right behind me. "What?" Case whispers and I shush him.

"Mike... Leo... no... no... NO!" Another crash. I wince and I feel Casey wincing. "I can't quit! Mike, please... please don't die on me! I'll keep working- I WILL save you AND Leo!" I knock on the door and walk in quietly.

"Donnie...?" I say and his shell is to me. He tenses immediately and he glances at me. His eyes are wild, and tired. He probably hasn't slept since this whole thing started. I must've looked like that, but at least I got some sleep.

And boy if that isn't what Donnie needs then I don't know what. I approach him cautiously and he turns to face me while stepping back like I'm a predator looking for his prey.

"W-What the hell are you doing here Raph? I strapped you to the bed for your own good! Y-Your not in your right mind your-!" I cut him off by putting one hand up.

"First of all, yer right, or you where brainaic. Now its your turn, look at your self Don. Your a mess! Ya need to shut that big brain of yers off and rest. Alright?"

He scoffs and starts looking a bit like a smug psycho... probably like me at times.

"Rest? Why the shell would I rest when Mikes out there- while LEOS out there! Our big brother and our little brother! Why in Gods name would I rest?" I take his wrists and get in his face saying

"'Cause yer going coo koo! Don, listen to me, ya need ta rest! Come on, yer smart enough to know that much right?" He growls and I can tell those were the wrong choice of words.

"Oh, YOUR telling ME that I'm the one who's going CRAZY? Pffft! Hahahahaha! NICE TRY DUMBASS! I don't' need any REST, I NEED Mike!" I shake him and say with a raised (yelling) tone

"YO! Donatello! You there? Come on, its me, RAPH! Ya need rest, and yer getting it one way or the other!" Don squirms but smirks after going limp.

"Raphael... I will hurt you if you don't... let. me. GO!" He grips his BO and swings, but I jump back right before it smacks a PC thing into the wall.

'Oh shell! If that'd hitten me... I'd be just like that computer thing!'

"CASEY! Get 'im!" I turn and see Casey gone. I turn again and Dons running towards me with a evil grin and wielding his bo tightly.

"Don't lose focus Raph!" He takes a swing and hits my side causing me ta hit the big metal table with a grunt. I hiss and look back up grabbing his bo as it swings down near my face.

"Don! Where the shell is Casey?" He grins wider and tilts his head "He was never here Raph, that must've been a dream, you hit HIM remember? You KILLED him! YOU hit his head with YOUR sai!" I go wide eyed.

'I-I killed CASEY! B-But I thought... wait...'

"I..." My hands slip and he stabs me in my gut with his bo making me gag. "Gaaaah! D-Don! Stop! WHATS GOING ON!"

I fall to my knees and spit out any trace of blood in my mouth. Was that Casey another imposter? Is my best bud REALLY dead? Did I kill him? AM I GOING CRAZY? Where the shell are ya Leo, I NEED you!

"Leo help!" I close my eyes and wait for the blow and it comes hard on my head and SNAP.

I lie down on my stomach and feel my head sting and feel the shards of wood fall to the floor and feel the warm liquid flow down my head and onto the floor. My body starts going numb...

"Poor, poor, deluded Raphael, I injected you with a seditative that has delusional side effects... hehehehe now, now though I think we should silence you ONCE and for ALL! No one wants you here, you almost killed Leo, you let my Mikey get kid napped, you're probably behind our Sensei leaving, and YOU killed Casey and caused April to go into depression and try to kill herself! ITS ALL YOUR FAULT! NOW THE BURDEN OF OUR FAMILY SHALL BE NO MORE!" He finishes it laughing but I can feel drips of water onto my head. He's cry'n cause of me.

I can hear the wind rushing past his bo staff, I can feel its menacing glare, and know what's coming next. I'm sorry I failed ya Leo, I'm sorry...

TO BE CONTINUED!