Nice, 50 reviews for 4 chapters. I like this crowd. Loving the favorite lines too. I love getting unpredictable ones *cough cough autumnftw cough cough*.

Okays, so next chappy time! Yay! I think it's gunna be a short one. I really don't know, cause I haven't written it yet :P

"When you're at the end of the road and you lost all sense of control. And your thoughts have taken their toll. When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul…Nothing's ever built to last…Lay down your arms, give up the fight." -21 Guns, Green Day

Ziva pulled her hair back as she stepped out of the elevator. It hung on the back of her head loosely and lazily as the doors to the morgue hissed open.

Ducky was just closing the freezer door as she stepped in. Ziva pushed the haunting images out of her mind as she walked towards him. He turned around, startled at first but soon relaxed into a smile. He was still in his scrubs as she walked towards the sink.

"Ziva, dear, it is late. You should get some sleep." he said caringly as he turned off the water and untied his smock.

She forced a smile, walking closer to him. "Actually, if you do not mind," she paused, swallowing. "Can I ask you…a few things?" her voice cracked slightly.

He looked at her; she could see the specks of worry that lay on his expression. He nodded, taking of his smock and turning on the lamp on his desk. Ziva took a seat as the Englishman went to the refrigerator and grabbed some scotch.

A smile lit her face as he poured her a drink, before pouring himself some. She took a small sip before seeing that he was settled and ready to listen.

"So," he took a slow sip. "What is on your mind?"

Ziva inhaled deeply, not really knowing where to begin. "I knew that there were many emotions that would come with me telling you all." she began slowly.

She watched him as he nodded sadly, his mouth closing tightly. "But there is one…that I did not expect." she continued. He looked at her curiously.

Her eyes wandered to her drink as she swiveled it in her hand slowly. "I think I am in love." she admitted gently.

His eyes grew wide at her confession, he opened his mouth, but no words came out. "W-well…" he tried, but couldn't. He was a little shocked actually.

Her eyes glistened with new forming tears, but she had grown strong enough to not let them fall. "But…I do not want to. I cannot." she mused in disbelief. "It is not fair, to either of us." she said sadly, slowly.

Ducky listened to her intently, he knew she was going somewhere, but he needed to get more out of her, without being too intrusive. "I…" her throat filled with sadness as she tried to speak without breaking her words. "Do not know what to do." she shook her head as her eyes pleaded the ME for help. "One side of me wants to love him, but the other does not."

He pursed his lips as he searched his mind for an answer. Finally, he looked up at her with his wise eyes. "You need to ask yourself," he began as her glistening eyes flickered to him. "Is the pain worth the price?"

She kept her eyes on him for a moment before the drifted to the table, her mouth opening slightly in thought. His input really made her think. The only thing right now she had been thinking was enjoying the time she had left. But this whole mess, if she could even call it that, with Tony had turned her in a whole different direction.

Was it?

"I-I…I." she stuttered, her eyes seemed to search her drink for an answer. "I do not know." she whispered, bringing her eyes back to his.

"You must decide whether it is easier to have something and lose it, or to never have had it at all." he said quietly. He watched her eyes as the tears were replaced with thought.

"Neither way is easy." she realized disappointedly. He nodded in agreement.

"The thing is," she paused. "We both know it is there."

"Ah, the elephant in the room." he sighed.

She furrowed her eyebrows, obviously confused. He immediately realized her confusion. "You both know it is there, but you are ignoring it."

Her eyes saddened and she nodded, slowly and solemnly.

"He kissed me." she blurted, tightening her lips in regret as soon as she did so. "And I kissed him back." she continued unknowingly, in disbelief.

His face dropped, he couldn't imagine what she was going through. "I do not want to hurt him." she said sadly.

"Or yourself." he took the words right out of her head.

Her eyes welled up with tears. "Is that selfish?" she asked through the lump in her throat.

He shook his head solemnly. "No." he assured. "You are trying to prevent more hurt. That is a selfless act."

"What would you do?" she asked through a few stray tears.

He looked at her hardly, then sadly softened a bit. He opened his mouth to speak, shaking his head when he could not come up with a valid answer. "I cannot answer that for you Ziva." her face dropped.

He was right though, this was all on her.

Gibbs gently maneuvered the sander steadily across the beams of his unfinished boat. He sensed his senior field agent's presence before the Italian shoes hit the first step.

He noticed that there was something less about him as he wandered over to the two boards that he was using as a makeshift bar. He poured them both some bourbon as he watched Tony sit down on one of his sawdust covered benches.

Gibbs waited in silence for a moment and after a long sip from his mug, went back to his boat, his ears ready for anything.

"She's dying boss." he stated absently after a moment.

Gibbs hated his tone. It was a mix of disbelief, sadness, coldness, apathy, so much in so little words.

He didn't say anything, but let Tony do the talking; it's what he was best at.

"Ziva is dying." he emphasized her name.

He looked down at the mug filled with bourbon that he was holding lazily with his hands laying on his legs. He took a deep breath, taking in the strong scent of sawdust.

Another heavy silence lingered in the room for a moment before something came out of Tony's mouth before he could process his thoughts. "I slept with her last night." he said in disbelief.

Gibbs shot him a strange look and Tony looked up at him, immediately realizing what he had just said. "Not that way." he rolled his eyes at his own mistake. "Just…next to her."

"This isn't happening." he put his head in his hands, shaking it in disbelief. He had fallen too far, too fast.

Stop doing this to yourself Dinozzo. He hadn't heard the voice in a while, he figured it was just about time for her to come and comfortably bother him some more.

Gibbs continued to sand his boat, but he lingered on every word out of Tony's mouth. "It's stupid isn't it? Foolish. I shouldn't have realized this now, now!" he scolded himself. He picked his head up, letting out another breath.

"She's dying." he repeated.

"We're all dying." Gibbs said coldly.

Amen to that, she smiled. But he's right. Just at different times, I should know, she said lightly.

Tony let out a sarcastic, pathetic chuckle. "Yea, thanks for that." he shook his head, falling into a trance.

How could he have fallen this deep? How could he have slipped this hard?

He rubbed his hand gruffly across his mouth. He had to deny it. There was too much pain involved. Well there's a contradiction if he ever saw one, sadness in love. It was pathetic. He knew it, the voice knew it. Something was there all along, and the Grim Reaper was amplifying those feelings.

"Stop fighting." Gibbs commanded, appearing to be obsessed over a small crack in the wood.

Thank you. She breathed in relief.

Tony looked at Gibbs, well the back of Gibbs. "I'm not fighting anything." he lied, confusion filling his voice.

He heard her scoff. You do realize you're surrounded by people who can tell when you're lying. Well, maybe not McGee. But still...

Gibbs turned around, walking towards Tony until he was looking down at him. "She deserves to hear it." he said stoically.

"She deserves a lot of things." Tony said through his cracked voice. "Death isn't one of them." he looked away, shaking his head.

"No one deserves death." he replied. Tony's eyes wandered to his momentarily, then left. He bit his inner lip as Gibbs walked back to his boat.

"Go." And with that, and another swing of bourbon, Tony bounded up the stairs and left.

Gibbs nodded contently and stepped back, admiring the boat. He knew naming this one was going to be painful.

Tony got to Ziva's in a matter of minutes. He knocked on the door a few times before watching the handle slowly open. She smiled slightly when she saw his face. She motioned her head for him to come in.

Her eyes were slightly red and she seemed drained. She didn't look like a dying woman, but then again, he didn't look like a dying man.

"Ziva…" he whispered, coming closer to her. And she let him.

He pushed a loose hair behind her ear. He couldn't fight it, not anymore. She deserved more, much more.

Soon, their bodies were touching. She looked up at him unsurely, but calmly. And slowly, she wrapped a hand around the side of his neck. He cupped her cheek with one hand, brushing his thumb against her skin softly.

Now, Tony I know she deserves this, but don't sink too deep, the voice warned, but he pushed her out of his mind.

They gradually moved closer towards each other until their lips touched. He kissed her gently, as if he was afraid she'd break. She moved her body into his as the intimate kiss continued. Her free hand met her other as she wrapped them around his neck, hanging them lazily above his back. He wrapped his arm around her waist, bringing her closer.

She pulled back, slowly but suddenly, her face stricken with remorse. "Tony…" she leaned her forehead against his nose as he brushed his lips to her head, temptation overcoming him. She spoke slowly and quietly. "If we do this, now…the pain will be much worse." Sadness filled every word of her sentence.

He placed a finger under her chin, lifting it up slowly until he met her eyes. "You're worth it." he whispered bringing his lips back to hers.

Unbetated, I'll fix it in the a.m.

Short, I know. But you guys deserved something.

Now I hate to be a hag, but I love reviews. So please, favorite line and such.

Next Chapter sometime this week.