Chapter Five

While I was asleep, I dreamed.

I used to dream that I could fly a lot, when I was a kid. Or that I was rich and had that perfect car, motorcycle... Or a few of those perfect cars and motorcycles. That I was a basketball player, like my brother Tom, before the mess with the Yeerks started.

Since the war, dreaming was nothing but a mesh of memories, usually, and now, I could feel myself entering one again, the anxiety started. Even knowing it was a dream, I couldn't stop it. I was trapped.

"You thought you could get away? Jake, the Almighty. Jake, the Yeerk-Killer."

I shuddered at the name assigned to me. I knew who it was, and I turned around.

The Drode laughed at me, leaning against the bale of hay. "You thought you could fix things. How sweet," he mocked me. Like we went way back, best friends.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded.

"'What are you doing here?'" he threw back, imitating me, "What are you doing here? Back in the saddle light years away, but you're back here, in the barn."

I turned around, uninterested. The Drode and Crayak were irrelevant to me. I had no reason to believe I was relevant to any interest of theirs here.

Cassie was there, just like the old days, same age, hair, clothes.

"Just give it a year," she said, "See if you feel the same way."

Startled, ashamed, I stumbled around her, out of the barn, looking back.

Couldn't you have warned me? Why was I so predictable? I thought, bitter.

I looked forward again, outside of the barn.

Rachel, head mashed in, standing down the path from the barn to the house. Blood down whatever was left, skull cracked in. I turned away, not wanting to look.

"If you tell me to, I'll do it," she said, "You knew that. You always knew."

"You would have done it anyway," I said, "You're not stupid, Rachel."

"You sent me alone."

I began running down the path now, getting off. I had no intentions of going into Cassie's house. Suddenly, Marco appeared.

"You can't fight a clean war. You're gonna make mistakes. But I'll follow your instincts."

"I won't make mistakes."

"You already have," The Drode sneered, suddenly appearing again, "Three dead. Another nothlit. A fragile, morph incapable human with the independence and will of a child in your crew. What will you do with them, Jake the Yeerk-Killer? What will you do?"

"I don't know!" I yelled, "I don't know!"

"Her name is Leah?" said Cassie, "That's strange."

"It's just a name."

"Maybe."

Tobias, as a human. "Everyone makes mistakes."

"Leaders can't make mistakes."

"We all led sometimes," said Marco.

"Jake, the Yeerk-Killer," the Drode sneered again, "What you have become since the end of that last war. Did you really think you could take on a new battle? You're a shell."

I glared.

"Go ahead," he continued, "Wake up. But don't forget that you cannot escape what you are. You can't get away from yourself."

And he grinned.

I woke up, gasping. I pushed myself up, and walked quickly to the bridge.

"Tobias, you can take a break," I said.

He glanced over at me with his stalk eyes. I guessed he decided I looked like I really needed to be there, because he didn't press the point.

He disliked when his shifts with Ax were interrupted.

I sat down by the control panel. At the moment, "we" was Marco, myself, and Ax.

"Hey man," Marco said, "Trouble sleeping?"

"Oh, yeah."

"Hm. Well, we've all been there," Marco said, stretching out his arms, "You should have just tried going back to sleep."

I shook my head, looking at the coordinates, "This was just... A very strange dream. I'd rather not have a repeat."

Marco gave me the fish-eye.

‹Perhaps you would like to discuss it?› Ax asked, absent-minded as he focused on navigating. He knew neither of us really believed in analyzing dreams. Unlike me, though, he wasn't as likely to talk about his dreams even just to share the basic stories, whatever they were.

"Yeah," Marco agreed, "Give me something to listen to, anyway. We obviously have to find this Blade Ship... No more tunes."

"You know the Blade Ship's databanks will be several years behind," I pointed out, "Will that really be much better to you?"

"Yes," Marco said immediately.

I laughed. Marco would spend all his time complaining about how out-of-date the music, movies, and other information on the Blade Ship was... If we ever found it.

"So," Marco prompted, "Your dream."

I thought about it, about how much I wanted to really share.

"Most of it was just quotes," I said slowly, "Things people had said to me before the battle on the Pool Ship. And the Drode was there, and Cassie."
"The Drode?" Marco said. I noticed Ax also gained a little interest, with that bit of information.

The Drode was a worker for Crayak. His messenger.

"Yeah, but I don't think it was a real message from Crayak for the Drode," I muttered, "It wasn't coherent enough. I barely even remember what he said."

Marco seemed to buy it. Ax looked a little more wary, but he didn't say anything.

"So what do you remember? You and Cassie kissing?" Marco teased. At first, he had avoided talking about her. But lately he'd realized I could deal with it. As long as he wasn't probing me. After all, he and Cassie had talked about me enough for him to know what had happened between us after the war.

Still, I gave him a light punch.

"No, nothing like that. She just said 'Leah is a strange name.'" I looked over at him. "Does it mean anything to you?"

Marco shrugged. "Nothing in particular. I know you have weird dreams, though."

I laughed. "Weird" hardly covered most of my dreams.

For a while, things became quiet. We couldn't stay up to date about Andalite or human society, so it was hard to keep the conversations going. Not that any of us minded.

After a while of basic busy work – keeping an eye on the ship's figures, the coordinates, weapons and other systems – Leah walked in.

"I've been trying to do these problems forever," She grumbled, "I don't get it, Aximili."

Ax had been trying to help Leah get caught up with her human knowledge – she had really only retained the things she'd been interested in, since she hadn't been actively participating in school. He had also been helping Tobias. It seemed strange, but they were actually at a similar level academically – even though Leah had gone to a bit of college. She'd really only retained her favorite subjects. Ax couldn't help her with history – one of her least favorites – but he was trying to help both her and Tobias with math.

"Leah," I urged, "Maybe it would be best to work on it when he isn't working."

"But when he's got free time, I'm working," She pointed out. "I know it's inconvenient, but it's not going to get convenient anytime soon."

"Try a few days," Marco muttered, "'Cause it will be plenty convenient on the planet's surface."

Ax sighed.

‹Leah, do not be shocked,› he said, irritated as he put a hand against her forehead and closed his eyes.

"What are you doing?" Marco asked, curious. It looked familiar to me, though. Like it had come from somewhere else...

"Oh! I know," I said. "It's that thing. The thing Elfangor did to Tobias. Remember?"

"Oh yeah..."

We watched. Eventually, Leah rocked back, breaking contact.

"Wha... What was that?" She asked nervously.

‹I have given you some of my memories. Ait Denme. Give it a few minutes, and then try the problems again. Hopefully, those memories and information will help you maintain the process further than our normal teaching has gone.›

Leah nodded, and left the bridge.

"Hey! That is so not fair," Marco said. "Why can't that be how everyone learns? It's even easier than The Matrix."

Ax looked at him like he was crazy. ‹We have not yet discovered a means for making this a signal that may be broadcasted in schools or other areas. Further, it can be very stressful and ineffective to have someone else's memories. Usually Andalites only use it for emergencies or cases of difficult learning, such as an Andalite that has already needed to be given extra aid in a particular subject. Even then, it is often done sparingly."

"Ah," Marco said. I had the feeling he didn't understand on what universe having information downloaded into your brain wasn't a good thing. I wasn't sure I understood, either. I thought perhaps the bigger issue was simply a sort of prejudice, like I knew Andalites felt about those who became nothlits to escape an illness. Or someone having a disability.

"So," Marco continued, breaking off from the other conversation, "Are we there yet?"

I rolled my eyes.

‹Actually, we are approaching,› Ax said. ‹If we are lucky, we will not need to leave Z-Space until we are almost upon the first likely planet. As long as nothing reconfigures.›

This was a relief to hear. We'd been in a situation where it had taken weeks after exiting Zero Space to reach our planet of destination. According to Ax, the first few planets were actually close enough to where the travel would just be a matter of days.

Unfortunately, we basically couldn't sleep during this time – just short breaks, without leaving the bridge. It could be done, mainly because the concept of day and night in space is nonexistent without a planet or moon. Still, it'd be tiring. We'd probably have to rest a day afterward. The weird thing was, we'd probably be able to sleep way more hours than we ever had on Earth. At least, other than Ax and Tobias, being Andalites. But they could more easily handle going long periods without sleep. Ax said at points Andalites would go two or three weeks without sleeping, because of suppressed prey instincts.

"Should we call everyone aboard now?" Marco asked.

"Nah," I said, "We're not that close yet. Ax says we have a few more hours before everyone needs to be on the bridge – 48 hours."

So we headed out of Z-Space, toward the planet's surface.