I'm getting back to updating on time! Ta da! So, here is the team (mainly Parker) discussing Twilight, as promised. Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Leverage. I apologize to fans of Bella and Rosalie and if you are either, I would not read this. You've been warned.

Here comes some Parker logic. Brace yourself for extremely run-on sentences with a surplus of the word "and".

T - 1400 minutes

"Whatcha reading, Eliot?" asked Parker as she jumped on top of him.

"Dammit Parker!" he said. "You made me lose my page."

She took the book from him. Reading the title, she made a face. "Sophie likes these books. She tried to make me read them. Icky."

"There's nothing wrong with these books, Parker!" he yelled, slightly embarrassed. "And anyway, these are the only books I could find and I'm bored."

"Whatever you need to tell yourself," said Hardison, laughing. "Tell me- are you team Edward or Jacob?"

"Shut up Hardison!" Eliot replied. Then he murmured, "Jacob's obviously better."

"Eliot, you read those books too?" asked Sophie excitedly. She and Nate had just come down the steps. "They gave me such insight into the minds and styles of vampires."

"Yeah so now you're covered if you ever need to pretend you're a vampire," Hardison said sarcastically. Sophie sighed dreamily.

"If only," she whispered.

"Sophie, remember you made me watch those movies?" asked Parker. "I have an idea!" Everyone braced themselves- after all, it was Parker. Who knew what kind of idea she would have? "Well, it's like a theory. Jacob in the book was really muscular and stuff and obviously he was a werewolf which is kind of cool but anyways, he fights a lot. He reminds me of Eliot! Maybe that's why you like him so much, Eliot!"

"I don't like him that much!" defended Eliot.

"Dude, you have posters of him shirtless up in your office. Do not even lie," said Hardison.

"He's a model fighter. He's an inspiration, not just eye candy," Eliot tried to sound convincing, but no one was fooled.

"Well anyways," said Parker. She took another deep breath and prepared for another run-on sentence. "Bella has dark hair and so does Sophie so that makes Sophie Bella and even though Bella's a sissy and really weak, she reminds me of Sophie! I don't mean you are weak or anything, but you have dark hair and can open your eyes really wide while you grift and stuff! The only different thing is that Bella kind of sounds like a man through it and you don't."

"Um… Thank you Parker?" Sophie said. She was trying to figure out if what the girl said was a compliment or an insult."

She took another deep breath. "So that makes Nate Edward because Edward has messy hair and Nate does too! And Edward went to high school like a billion times and Nate is really smart and even though he's not fast or strong like a vampire he still kind of acts like Edward- mysterious and afflicted and stuff."

Nate pretended not to hear any of that but secretly he was really happy to be compared to Edward. Score! He thought.

"And where do you fall into this storyline?" asked Sophie. She was actually interested now that she was the main character.

"Oh," said Parker. She thought for a moment. "Well… my hair isn't short or dark or anything but I could probably be Alice! She's nice and happy and climbs trees and stuff. I think she would like stealing if she ever had to. Yeah. Alice is like the only choice for me so I guess its good. Rosalie's kind of a bitch and even though she has blonde hair like me, I don't have a mole! That mole was ugly; I could only look at that the entire time." She shuddered.

"Parker, be nice," said Sophie. She completely agreed, though.

…And then there was Hardison. He was feeling very left out despite his refusal to watch Twilight, let alone read the books. He was forever a Harry Potter fan- and a Trekkie. Parker turned to face him. "Oh yeah I forgot to do Hardison!"

Eliot gave her a strange look as did Nate and Sophie. Hardison looked up, surprised. "Uh… What did you say?"

"I need to pick a character for you! Ok so you have to be Jasper."

"Parker…" said Eliot. "Jasper and Alice are together."

Hardison's face lit up. "You're Alice and I'm Jasper… I like it. Even though I don't know who those people are."

"Well, yeah," stated Parker. "He obviously can't be Emmett because he definitely wouldn't fall for someone with a mole and he's not strong… at all. No offense, Hardison. Jasper could probably be good at computers," she offered. Hardison chose to ignore the first part of her logic and focused on the fact that they were together.

"Maybe I should read these books…" Hardison thought out loud.