Naruto!

by Bad Writer xD

Naruto and the gang head on over to New York on a field trip, but what the gang doesn't know is that Naruto is a secret agent, and so are they. It was written for pure fun, so it sucks. Yaoi, slash. Boy x Boy. No one makes u read it! SasuNaru

7. You just got your ass kicked by ukes!

Me: ITACHI! Get to doing it!

Itachi: the disclaimer is that Elena does not own Naruto or Avatar the last air bender, or the word that comes from that show.

Me: Good boy! :D

Itachi: Hn ...

Chapter 7:

Training and asses get beat by ukes!

Naruto looked over to the horizon, again he was perched on the railing and deep in thought. 'I just don't know about this mission, its seems too easy. I have a feeling that something will happen.' Naruto ran a hand through his hair repeatedly.

'Look daddy, if something happens, you always have me to help you. They might still think that you can't control IT, but you do have that power. IT is no longer its own spirit, IT is you, your conscience, your inner you, IT is me. You got this, ok? You got this!' Naruto smirked at his Naru-chan's antics and looked behind him at Sasuke's sleeping form.

"Oi, Uchiha! Get up!" Sasuke jumped up and got into a fighting stance. "Dobe? ... GRR Dobe you idiot! Its 4 A.M! What the fuck do you think your doing trying to wake me up?" Naruto smirked and got off the railing.

"Training, Sasuke, training. Now get up and run EMT down to Kiba! GO!" Sasuke stood staring at Naruto. "Uhh Dobe ... whats Emt?" Naruto sighed and cursed Kakashi for not teaching them properly.

"EMT means Early Morning Training, otherwise known as wake up calls. Now get your ass up and get Kiba. I expect them all to be in the base in 10 minutes sharp, no later!" Naruto then jumped upon the railing and turned his body to look at Sasuke. "What are you waiting for? GO!" Naruto did a back flip and was gone, with Sasuke running to the railing only to see him walk away 15 stories down. 'Kami-sama Dobe! You had me worried! Why didn't you tell me you knew Kakashi's trick?'

Sasuke ran down to Kiba's room and banged on the door. "Sasuke? What the hell man, I was sleeping!" Sasuke rolled his eyes and stared at Kiba. "Naruto said to tell you he called EMT and you have 10 minutes to get to the base." Kiba's eyes grew wide and he pushed him out of the way. "HINATA! EMT! NOW!" Hinata woke up and ran to the closet, Kiba ran out and to every single room then up and down the hall.

"EMT! GET YOUR ASSES UP NOW! WE ONLY HAVE 10 MINUTES PEOPLE! EMT!" Sasuke stared as doors were thrown open and ninjas assembled themselves. 'Damn, the Dobe must be mean if he has his ninja in check, but mine aren't so ... oh fuck!' Sasuke ran over to his team's rooms and roared at them to get ready in one minute flat.

He ran to his room and got dressed, then bolted out the door and to everyone elses rooms. "Get the fuck up! Do you want to be Naruto's next victim?" They all ran around the rooms barely noticing Kiba in the hall and the laughs he and Hidan were guffawing.

Suddenly Sasuke's team was lined up in the hall and Sasuke came up behind Kiba. "I wouldn't laugh if I were you. Considering we all have only 3 minutes to get to the base and hunt down Naruto. And since you've been working with him and know him better, you know that our asses are on the line if we're late." Kiba snapped out of his laughter and nodded towards the lone window at the end of the hall. "Alright! Sasuke has a point! Lets jump!"

Everyone turned to the window and one by one they jumped out the window and ran, all except the new recruits and Kiba. "Whats wrong? Don't you guys know how to jump?" The new recruits shook their heads sullenly and Kiba sighed. "Fuck! Just front flip out and concentrate your chakra around your body and eyes. Once you have it around your body and eyes, open your eyes and the chakra enhancement will show you where your best landing will be and all you have to do is land with your feet touching that point, now GO!" They all nodded and jumped, concentrating on their chakra and landing at just the precise moment.

"Not bad ... for weaklings! You were almost at the breaking point and you would have died! Did your senseis teach you nothing?" No one answered and Kiba took off with the new recruits on his heals.

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"NARUTO!" Kiba yelled as he kicked open the doors and a few agents ran for their lives. Naruto sighed and turned around, starring at Kiba as he began to yell at the new recruits to hurry up.

"NARUTO! ... These gennin know nothing! And I mean NOTHING this time! Look at them! They don't know chakra control, or how to jump through the trees, or even how to do a simple henge!" Naruto's eyes grew wider and wider as Kiba rambled on about things gennin were supposed to know, but that they didn't.

"You mean they sent them to me ... without any sort of training?" Naruto's eyes grew red, and he disappeared before their eyes.

"Um ... S-Sasuke ... where did he go?" Sasuke was about to answer Sakura's question, when he disappeared as well. "WHAT THE HELL?" Neji seethed as soon as he discovered his surroundings changed and he stood beside Sasuke and the rest of the gennin.

"You all will tell me what exactly you know and why you made it to gennin and in my ranks right now or else I will have your heads!" Naruto seethed, his demonic chakra overpowering everyone in the confined room. "K-Kakashi ..." was all Naruto heard before he disappeared and reappeared with Kakashi in hand. He threw Kakashi on the floor at their feet and growled.

"KAKASHI HATAKE! You're time is up!" Naruto growled, his demonic side already showing through his voice as he tried to control himself. "Ma, ma Naruto-kun. Hehehe no need to be hasty ... Naruto?" Naruto grew still, his body trembling with rage as he contemplated Kakashi's words. "You, Kakashi, have failed me. And do you know what the punishment is for failing an order from A SUPERIOR?" Kakashi gulped and nodded, picking himself up from the floor and standing at attention in front of Naruto.

Naruto smirked and let a tail form from his chakra, his chakra cloak already having formed. "Very good Kakashi we will have an agnikai ((lol I couldn't find a right word, so I took the word my little sister keeps saying from Avatar the last Air bender)). Now suffer humiliation as ... the whole base watches you fail! And your students and the others brought here by my Uncle Orochimaru will be here with you to help you. The punishment starts now!" Kakashi gulped and ran, slamming himself on his team and the rest of them.

"MOVE! He's going to blow!" Kakashi ran over to a bolder, as the lights came on and revealed the actual size of the room. The room was large, its battle field was lush in just about any type of condition in nature from snowy to lush green forests. The ceiling was located 100 feet in the air, with large windows which revealed the entire base watching them. This room was the training room, and the redemption room, the room where weaklings were thrown in and almost never came out, the room where the most skilled of ninjas in the base were thrown in and left with their prides broken. Kakashi trembled as he heard the roar of cheers from the entire base from above.

Naruto chuckled as he felt Kakashi tremble in fear. "Why Kakashi, are you scared? Are you scared of facing me?" Sasuke scoffed as he took a peek, "Kakashi-sensei, why are you so damn scared? He is just an uke, and he is younger than you." Kakashi stared, palled that Sasuke would say such a thing.

"Sasuke Naruto is not weak H-"

"WHAT DID YOU FUCKING SAY?" Sasuke palled as he felt Naruto's breath tickle his neck.

"SASUKE!" They all turned to see Itachi, Sasori, and Fugaku all running away from Minato, Deidara, and Kyuubi. "Sasuke you fucking idiot! Why the fuck did you say that?" They all yelled in unison as they were being herded into the group hiding from Naruto.

"What did I do?" Itachi rolled his eyes as the ukes made a group of their own. "You implied that ukes and younger people are weaklings and made us grunt in agreement! That is what. Don't you know that they are the most powerful thing there is?" Sasuke shivered in anticipation as the ukes broke apart their small meeting, each starring down their semes.

"Alright, we'll make this more interesting. There will be three rounds, the first is with you all and Naruto. The second, we will join you all. And the third one … the ones left standing battle it out." They all whimpered as Naruto walked closer to them, Naruto successfully scaring the shit out of all of them.

"Alright, but we need some time to talk!" Kakashi said as he ran away from Naruto and his family, successfully hiding himself in the mountainous terrain of the training room with the new recruits behind him. "Alright, so you're all gennin, and I'm the only jounin here … we need a plan." Kakashi said as he crouched down close.

"No actually, all of us from Suna are jounin and chuunin." Kakuzu said as he glared at Kakashi. Kakashi stared at Kakauzu for a minute before shrugging and turning to plan a way out of their situations. "So anyway, as I said you're all gennin, and Naruto is pissed off that you don't know shit, I say we find a way out of here and run for our lives." said Kakashi as he stood up and peaked over to Naruto who was just sitting around waiting.

"No, you don't understand. We're NOT gennin!" Temari yelled as she stomped her foot and glared at Kakashi. Kakashi sighed and rolled his eye.

"No you don't understand. In the leaf, you're all gennin. Because, now if you didn't hear Naruto then you'll hear me, all other ninja villages do thing differently. Meaning if a jounin is named that in Suna, that jounin will be at a low level chuunin here. So technically, you're all still gennin. Now tell me you're names so we can gain a better chance at getting out of here.

"Kakuzu sighed and stood up, him being the one to name them all. He pointed at everyone as he stated they're names. "Alright, I'm Kakuzu, almost jounin of Suna. Temari - chuunin, Kankuro – Chuunin, Anko – jounin, Kisame – almost jounin, Suigetsu – almost jounin, Juugo – almost jounin, Sai – chuunin, Pein – jounin, Konan – chuunin and our senseis are with Orochimaru. They are Asuma, Kurenai, and Kabuto." Kakuzu sighed as he finished, sitting back down and shrugging as more ninja entered the training grounds and allied themselves with Naruto.

"Great, so now Naruto has his team with him. Shit!" Kakashi said as he watched Iruka and the others make plans for the fight of their lives.

"Alright, so technically, we're stranded here until Naruto grows tired of our hiding and destroys everything. Oh how fun that will be … ok so we need a distraction. Sasuke, you have mastered the sharingan better than your father and brother, no offense Itachi and Fugaku, but I've been working on him." Itachi and Fugaku shrugged, not caring about it, but wanting to come out of this alive and with their Uchiha prides safely attached to them and tucked in their pants.

"Alright then, Sasuke I want you to get Naruto into a genjutsu and keep him preoccupied as we escape. Itachi, you take Kakuzu, Kisame, Pein, Konan and Sasori and formulate a plan against Deidara, Kyuubi, and Hidan. Go with attack formation Akatsuki," Itachi nodded and pulled them all aside to start up the formation.

"Fugaku, take Shikamaru, Temari and Kankuro with you and see what you can do with Minato, Ino, Kiba, and Hinata." Fugaku sighed and nodded, pulling said people closer to him as he began to plan.

"The rest try and formulate an escape plan, try and find a weakness as the others fight off with them, then we'll be able to get out of here alive." They all nodded and dispersed as Naruto stood up and walked closer to the mountain terrain. "Kakashi, are you all done playing hide and go seek? Because it's time for round one!" Kakashi cursed himself for not finding another place to hide.

"Sasuke, you're up!" Sasuke nodded, walking out and meeting Naruto in the middle of the field. "Dobe, drop this nonsense and just let us go." Naruto gritted his teeth and began to raise his hands, making Sasuke quirk an eyebrow. He speedily went through the hand signs and began to glare at Sasuke. "Bushin Daibakuha!" Naruto yelled as a puff of smoke began to pop out and a shadow clone came straight for Sasuke.

Sasuke's eye grew wide and he dodged as the clone came charging towards him, a smirk on his lips as he clashed Kunai with Sasuke. "Sasuke … boom" Sasuke jumped out of the way as the shadow clone exploded, the explosion making his collide with the wall hard. "What the hell dobe?"

Naruto smirked and raised his hand up, motioning for Sasuke to come at him. "Deidara taught me that one, its all in the name of Art because art ..." Naruto closed his mouth and smirked as Sasuke felt a feather light kiss on his cheek. "Art is a bang." Sasuke readily jumped out of the way as the clone exploded, him jumping out of the way as the explosion destroyed the wall, leaving a large hole of rock. "Damn! I need more skill for these dodges, I should have listened to Kakashi when he said I had to learn the basics. DAMN!" Sasuke said as he just barely managed to keep his footing.

Naruto smirked as he watched Sasuke have a difficult time dodging. 'Time to pull out the big guns then, Naru-chan, you might want to hand on.' Naru-chan smiled and nodded, running into Naruto's hair and tying himself up to Naruto.

"Alright, Kage Bushin No jutsu!" Naruto made three clones and began to reach behind him for a sword that was hidden to the eye. It was a beautiful black sword, its blade made of full black with the design of a nine tailed fox on it. All three of the clones pulled out the same sword and smirked as Sasuke stared wide eyed at Naruto. "Prepare yourself Sasuke! … Mikatsuki no Mai!" Naruto yelled as he and the three other clones charged at Sasuke in a complicated sword-dance, confusing Sasuke to no end.

"Alright, that's it! … CHIDORI!" Sasuke yelled as he ran at top speed towards Naruto, making Naruto stare in wonder and stop his jutsu as Sasuke hit his arm with the chidori, making him fall back and hold onto himself. "Argh!" Naruto fell to the floor panting, still in shock as to how Sasuke could to such a thing.

"You're not the only one with a fancy sword!" Naruto looked up as Sasuke unsheathed his blade, a long simple one. "Bring it on dobe." Naruto smirked and shook himself out of the shock, making Sasuke gasp as Naruto smirked and acted as if nothing had happened.

"My pleasure teme!" Naruto began to surround Sasuke, each shadow clone analyzing Sasuke and his techniques.

Kakashi watched in shocked awe as Sasuke pulled out his old lightening technique, wondering how Sasuke learned it. Itachi and Fugaku stared in silence as they watched Sasuke battle it out with Naruto, that being a first for Naruto always lasted 10 seconds with a person, and he was in there for 2 minutes.

"SHRAINGAN!" Sasuke yelled as he watches Naruto run around him, looking for something to use. "Futon: Kamikaze!" Naruto yelled as a few of his clones bursted and began to help form the jutsu. Sasuke gritted his teeth and jumped, making a few hand signs of his own to create a jutsu.

"SASUKE! Concentrate on your chakra! It will help!" Itachi yelled as he watched his little brother struggle. Sasuke nodded and began to concentrate. "Chidori: Raime!" Sasuke yelled, controlling his chakra as he ran on the wall and made his lighting devastate the terrain.

Naruto smirked, his plan beginning to take effect. "SASUKE! DO IT NOW!" Sasuke nodded, feeling like it was a close call with that last attack of his to get out of harms way. Sasuke jumped up, preparing to attack Naruto head on. Naruto saw this and smirked, getting into the position Sasuke anticipated. Sasuke smirked at the last minute, flipping in the air and landing behind Naruto.

"Hn, surprised?" Naruto furrowed his eyebrows, but nodded none the less. "Why are you hugging me?" Sasuke smirked and turned Naruto around, making sky blue meet blood red. "For this." Sasuke said as the tsukuyomi activated itself and Naruto found himself in an alternate reality. "Where that hell am I?" Naruto yelled as he walked around, seeing only one bed in this illusion and nothing else.

"You are in a place where no one will hear you, and no one can see you." Naruto tensed as he heard Sasuke, but didn't see him. "Y-You shouldn't know tsukuyomi, only Itachi does. He got it after the incident with … Shisui." Sasuke smirked and walked around Naruto, leaving soft touches on the blonde that had hims shivering. "Would you please show yourself teme? It's getting really annoying being touched by you and I can't even see you. And what did you mean no one WILL hear me and no one CAN see me?" Sasuke smirked, 'Trust the smart dobe to pick up on the little things.'

"I meant what I meant. Also ..." Sasuke pushed Naruto onto the bed, crawling over him and letting the small vanishing illusion he put on himself fall. Naruto gasped as he watched Sasuke appear over him, the illusion falling off at a slow pace, letting Naruto's eyes follow it as it showed more of Sasuke to Naruto's view pleasure. "Like what you see dobe? I know I do." Sasuke said as he pealed away Naruto's cloak and watched as Naruto's chest was exposed to him.

"Teme, you pervert! Get the fuck off of me and go fuck off!" Sasuke smirked and latched onto Naruto's neck, purring and suckling on the sweat skin given to him. Naruto arched off the bed, accidentally rubbing his erection against Sasuke's and making said raven bite down hard on him. Sasuke smirked and came back up to look at the panting blonde. "You know the good thing about this jutsu? … Everything that happens here automatically becomes real once I let you out of my illusion. So these marks will appear and everyone will know that you are mine Naruto." Naruto blushed and spluttered, pushing on Sasuke to get off. "WHAT THE HELL UCHIHA? I am not yours!" Sasuke smirked and moved closer, his lips grazing Naruto's ear.

"On the contrary Naruto, I love you, and I'm tired, so … you will become mine, and I warn you right now … I don't share, and I mate for life." Naruto spluttered once more and blushed, his eyes wide in shock as Sasuke came back up again to stare at his dobe and that sexy blush of his. "Now … how about we make this more binding?" Naruto stared at Sasuke as Sasuke bent down again and kissed him.

Naruto melted and began to kiss back, wanting more and more to be one with Sasuke. Naruto could no longer deny his feelings for the raven as he smirked. He sat up and pushed Sasuke onto the bed then got on top of him. "Sasuke … how about we do just that." Naruto said as he bent down and kissed the surprised Uchiha.

Sasuke gasped. Then, he took over. He threaded his fingers through Naruto's hair and crushed his lips impossibly closer to his, lapping at Naruto's lips with his tongue and plunging into his mouth. Sasuke's tongue challenged Naruto's to the dance it so gracefully moved to and Naruto yielded. He moaned despite his best efforts and he could feel Sasuke smirk. Naruto didn't notice that Sasuke had removed his clothing along with his own. By now, his hands had already glided lower and lower, eventually coming to rest on Naruto's ass.

He cupped and squeezed his cheeks sensually and ground their erections together. Naruto almost screamed with desire while Sasuke gave a deep groan.

"Sasu ... Sasuke ... Oh ..." Naruto tried to express his needs, his desires, but nothing much got out of his mouth as Sasuke moved his lips down towards Naruto's neck and collarbone, sucking and chewing. He palmed Naruto's crotch and his knees gave out.

"Naruto ..." he panted, voice husky and deep from the arousal. "I want you so much. I... oh... I want to touch you in every way possible, to claim you, to let the world know that you are mine and mine alone..."

Usually such possessive speech would have pissed Naruto off and he would have kicked his ass. But coming from Sasuke, Naruto felt protected, wanted, needed. He nodded. "Then take me."

Sasuke growled and he pushed Naruto back down onto the bed and followed soon. They kissed, and Sasuke quickly covered Naruto's body with his, hands roaming all over his body, touching him every single inch; every possible way.

"Oh, God!" Naruto rasped when Sasuke stroked his hard on and his tongue trailing down his abs. Sasuke licked and sucked the muscles there and started to probe into his belly button. Naruto could feel his chin touching the head of his cock. He nearly yelled out. "Sasuke ..."

Sasuke sensed his desperation. He stopped stroking. Naruto wailed his disappointment, till wet warmness encased him. Naruto's body arched towards the warmth; his mouth opened wide, screaming silently. He shut my eyes as Sasuke bobbed up and down his considerable length, taking his time to tease him, to taste him.

"Mmmm, Naruto's flavor ... I love it." He mused sensually, smirking as Naruto blushed.

Naruto was about to say something till he felt something probing his ass. He tensed, and Sasuke sensed his apprehension.

"Relax, Naruto. I'll make it slow, prepare you properly," he cooed. "Please... I want to show you how much you mean to me and how much I love you..."

Naruto shuddered and nodded. "Please..."

Sasuke got back to it, circling Naruto's bud as he sucked one of his balls into his mouth. Naruto could barely contain himself as he thrashed. When Naruto got a grip of the situation, he realized that Sasuke was sawing a finger in and out of him, and he was enjoying it. He probed and twisted and touched something in Naruto that made him scream.

"Sasuke ... Sasu ... Oh! Urgh! Sasuke ... Again... Please, please..." Naruto sobbed and gasped at the same time, gulping air in large quantities.

He smiled a naughty grin at him and stroked him there again, increasing his pressure on the spot that numbed Naruto's mind. Naruto begged, begged for more. Somehow he needed more than just his fingers, yet he didn't know what until he felt the head of Sasuke's cock at his entrance. Naruto stilled for a moment but the nervousness fled soon after and he began to press back onto his hardness, impaling himself on him.

Sasuke gritted his teethe, but held him still. "Patience, Naruto," he muttered. "You'll hurt yourself. Let me."

He began in inch forward, bit by bit. Naruto felt the pressure on his bud as it slowly stretched to accommodate him. He bit his lip and felt the head of Sasuke's cock make its way into him. Then, 'pop!' he was in him. Naruto wrapped the head of his cock in him and he was eager for more. He was about to push back when a moan escaped his lips. Sasuke was rotating his hips, the head of his cock rubbing his prostate in circular motions, driving him insane.

"Stop with the tease and fuck me!" Naruto nearly yelled and Sasuke smirked.

He began to push in and Naruto was taken by surprise how easily he slipped into him, right to the hilt. He was penetrated deeply, and he never thought there was any thing better than the feel of Sasuke in him.

He pulled out till only the head remained in Naruto and rammed all the way back home. He repeated this, and Naruto was seeing stars, He could not think. All he wanted was for this to go on forever. Naruto held onto his rampaging body, feeling the beads of sweat gliding down his back. Sasuke gazed into Naruto's eyes with such care, such love that the tension built in him quickly subsided with the feel of his torso rubbing against his cock.

His pace sped up, rutting into Naruto. "I'm coming, Naruto ... Come ... Come with me ..."

Naruto grasped onto his hand, lacing their fingers together. "I love you," he whispered.

That sent him over the edge and he squirted jet after jet of seed into Naruto. All Naruto felt was Sasuke and Sasuke alone. He came like dynamite - the most explosive orgasm took him as he nipped Sasuke's earlobe.

He collapsed onto Naruto and they both panted like dogs, unable to move.

When they finally regained consciousness, Sasuke leaned down to kiss him. "Mine, forever" he mumbled contentedly, as he gave Naruto a thrust of his cock still in him. "Ah...! Keep that up and we'll be up for round two..." Naruto choked, eyes starting to glaze.

"Mm, that would be a great idea." Sasuke said as he kissed Naruto once again and rested his head on Naruto's chest.

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Kakashi smirked as Naruto and Sasuke fell, both covered in Sasuke's shield of Amaterasu. Kakashi threw a look at Itachi, who only nodded and smirked. "Sasori! You're up, the rest wait it out, come help Sasori when you see that he is down, I'll follow Kyuubi." They all nodded as Itachi followed Kyuubi to the volcanic terrain.

He jumped over obstacles, and kept to the shadows as Kyuubi seemingly walked on the air, not once needing to use his hands for help in climbing. "So you've decided to follow after me alone, Itachi." Itachi was startled as he watched Kyuubi stop in front of a volcanic pool, but sounded as if he was behind him.

"Oh but I am Itachi, I am. You're just watching a copy of myself stand there." Kyuubi said before he kicked at Itachi, only for Itachi to morph into many crows and fly away into the nearest tree. "Hn, so that's how it is? Fine then, I was just hoping I could talk with you … but if you insist … we'll dance." Itachi called out as he jumped down and threw a few shuriken, only for Kyuubi himself to turn into many phoenixes and fly into a near by tree as well.

"Sure Itachi, we'll dance … Doton: Doryudan! … Katon: Karyudan!" Kyuubi yelled as a mud dragon headed towards Itachi, ignited by the fire from his fire attack, making devastating fire missiles and also making Itachi dodge in surprise, him never having known how Kyuubi fights.

Itachi dodged as Kyuubi shot more fiery missiles at him, cursing as he threw kunai at him and made the necessary hand seals. "Katon: Ryuka no Jutsu!" Itachi yelled as he breathed fire on the invisible string attached to the Kunai headed straight for Kyuubi. Kyuubi dodged the attach, doing a back flip in the air and letting the fire pass inches under him and hit the lava pool.

"Kyuubi, lets just talk this through … I'm sorry for anything I've done, could you please forgive me?" Kyuubi snorted and made a fast seal, "Suiton: Suiben! … Lightning release!" Kyuubi yelled as a water whip appeared and wrapped itself around Itachi. Itachi's eyes widened as the lightning shocked his whole body, finally bringing him unconscious.

Kyuubi smirked as he pulled on the whip, summoning his foxes to carry Itachi back. He watched as an explosion boomed over at the east, where the mountainous terrain was located. He chuckled as he made his way over, looking at Itachi's face as he slept.

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They all watched as Deidara and Hidan walked closer to them, smirking as they saw Itachi follow after Kyuubi, knowing full and well that Itachi would never use his Sharingan against Kyuubi. "Well, are you all going to attack, or just sit there and stare at us … Kisame, Kakauzu, Pein Konan, un?" They gasped in astonishment as Deidara stared straight at them and Hidan just pointed at them with a bored expression on his face.

"Hidan, stand down … you take the others, I'll take on the leader, un." Hidan nodded and broke away from Deidara, staring straight at Kakuzu and smirking. He analyzed his opponent, wanting nothing more than to get this over with and finding someone to fuck.

"Fucking shit! Let's just get this over with before I fucking age! Geez, I bet Jashin himself would piss himself laughing at the lot of you! What are you all, the new Akatsuki? Cause if you are, and judging by the fact that Fucking Itachi and Sasori are with you guys and you're all trying to get into position, I'd say you guys disgrace the Akatsuki name! I mean shit, that blue one is trying to use the water symbol in the Earth symbol, this stitches guy is trying to use wind when he is an Earth! And what is blue doing? You haven't even gotten in position or even know what symbol to use! Fuck, Let me just get out of here before they fucking kill us all! I mean fuck, not even SASORI did that mistake when he first started, and that's saying something."

Sasori scowled and came out of hiding to stand in front of Hidan. "Alright then Hidan, take my team and teach them if you're so damn good then!" Hidan smirked and nodded, putting his scythe back into place and pointing to Kakuzu. "You stitches! Get your fucking hot ass over here and bleed!" Kakuzu spluttered and blushed behind his mask, not knowing how Hidan thought he was hot when he was not.

"The name is Kakuzu, not stitches. And I'm not hot." Hidan smirked and vanished, only to reappear behind him. "You're right, you're sexy." Hidan smirked as Kakuzu grunted and smacked him away. "Alright then, lets leave the love birds here and I'll teach you all something … and get myself fucked soon after, don't you think stitches?" Kakuzu spluttered and blushed as Hidan towed him away.

"Well that was entertaining, un. But now … Kidaku Nendo! … Katsu!" Deidara yelled as he threw his clay spiders at Sasori, who jumped out of the way. "Yodo Ranfunka no Jutsu!" Deidara yelled as a clone made a small Futon jutsu to make them explode. Sasori jumped out of the way again, making sure to steer clear of the molten earth chunks.

"C'mon Sasori no Danna! Play with me, un!" Sasori smirked and nodded, but his idea of play was totally different. He jumped into the air, using his chakra strings to maneuver his way around the C-1 clay birds being directed at him. "Tsuchi Bushin no Jutsu!" Sasori yelled as he fell to the ground in front of Deidara, where he was blonde to pieces by Deidara's exploding clay, making Deidara halt his attack and stare in worry as he saw Sasori lay there, motionless. Deidara could feel the small prickle of tears in his eyes as he watched the lifeless form of Sasori lay there on the ground.

"That's not a pretty sight, now is it Deidara?" Sasori's smooth velvety voice asked from behind, making Deidara tense and growl at the unnecessary feeling of worry. "You teme, un! What the hell, I worried about killing you and you do that? What the hell is your fucking problem you fucking jerk?" Sasori smirked and hugged Deidara close, taking the opportunity to feel him up as he did.

"Sorry Deidara, but you did say I got to play, and I didn't bring any toys to play with, so I decided to make my own." Deidara's left eye twitched as Sasori's hand found itself a home on Deidara's ass. "Sasori no Danna?" Sasori hummed in acknowledgment, wanting to keep hugging Deidara and molesting him forever.

"Ka … tsu … un." Sasori's eyes widened and he jumped away just as Deidara exploded, the real one standing behind him and wanting revenge. He hugged Sasori from behind as Sasori did to him, his hand finding a home on Sasori's crotch. "Sorry, you said you made your own toys, so I decided to play again, un" Deidara said as he grinned like a mad man and Sasori tried not to groan.

Deidara smirked as he made his hand go into Sasori's pants, making the red head groan in pleasure as he felt the long warm fingers of Deidara. He could feel the hot, slick appendage lick his cock, making it all slick and wet. Sasori's eyes widened as he thought that through. 'hot … slick … and wet. That is so not his finger.' Sasori thought as he looked down and over at Deidara who smirked and looked innocently at him.

'It's his hand mouths father!' Saso said as he came into the picture.

'And where the hell were you this entire time?' Sasori yelled at Saso.

'With Sasu at his house, he said it would be better. I just forgot my futon.' Sasori nodded dumbly and let Saso go away as he smiled and left once again.

Deidara smirked and almost laughed as he watched the little Sasori come and go, him having heard the small conversation that took place. Deidara let his hand mouths lather Sasori's cock once more before he moved up so his mouth was next to Sasori's ear. "Sasori no Danna …. Katsu, un." And with that, Sasori exploded, him having flown up in the air with the force of the explosion and landing next to Deidara unconscious. Deidara smirked as they were all going down, one by one.

Minato smirked and decided he didn't want to take a long time, so he just smirked over to Ino, who only shrugged and smirked and he was off. "Hiraishin no Jutsu!" was all Shikamaru and Fugaku heard before they were both out cold.

Once they rounded up everyone, some where found scaling the walls with Kakashi and gave a huge chase through the forest section of the terrain, they were surprised to see Naruto and Sasuke still alive and looking like they went through that entire chase themselves, except they both had satisfied grins on their faces.

"Well, those doors wont open up until one of these groups is unconscious, so ..." Naruto grinned and pulled the groups together before he made his necessary hand seals. "Taju Kage Bushin no Jutsu!" He yelled as many clones appeared and created a second group. "Sorry guys, but this is for your own good and … JIRAYA! GET DOWN HERE!"

There was a bunch of stumbling sound heard throughout the room, some sounds of broken glass and some sounds of a man running for his life, until finally Jiraya stood in front of Naruto, smiling broadly and with his notebook out. Naruto quirked his eye brows and smirked.

"Alright then … Oiroke: Otokonoko Doshi no Jutsu!" Naruto yelled out just as all of the clones henged into the groups in front, making the once group of Naruto clones transform into the group and in a very peculiar situation. There was no sound for 5 minutes before they all saw Sakura fall to the ground, out cold. And one by one they fell until at last, Jiraya fell and the clones were dispersed ad Naruto chuckled.

"Well … it works every time!" Naruto cheered as he stared at all the blood on the floor. "Are they going to be alright?" He said to particularly no one as he poked Sasuke's twitching leg.

[~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~]End of Chapter[~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~][~]

Me: Alright … so to answer the question of a very helpful reviewer … the chibis and libidos are just their inner selves. And yes anyone can hear them … as long as the chibi or libido wants them to listen. They communicate through thought and everyones thoughts are heard when they talk to them.

Naruto: … I hate it when you give me to Sasuke.

Me: What do you want from me? The Sasu-nator was beginning to freak me out with his glaring, and … I just enjoy making you guys do that. … ITACHI!

Itachi: -sigh- Elena needs the reviews. Be nice and pay up.

Sasuke: How does it feel to be used this way Itachi?

Itachi: It feels like … soft pillows?

Me: YUS! I know it does! -happy dances with Naruto-

Naruto: I don't know why we're happy dancing, but I like it!

Sasuke: … Naruto … -steals away and molests-

Me: Hey Itachi, how does it feel to know that Sasuke used your technique, tsukuyomi, to have sex with Naruto?

Itachi: … oh dear god help me!

Me: As I said to Naruto … NEVER! :3

Yours truly, Bad Writer xD