So much stuff to do, so little time:P So it's just a short little snipet that actually wasn't even going to be here, but I heard this line and was like, well goshdarnit I need to put it in here. And plus, I needed a place to put the McAbby makeup so I decided to stick it in here, cause next chapter is going to be a buttload of deep Tivaness that needs to be left alone.
"Well my heart knows me better than I know myself so I'm gunna let it do all the talking." –Black Horse and the Cherry Tree, KT Tunstall
(Late Afternoon)
"Pick up, for McGee." Tim told the man over the counter.
Pizza was his comfort food. After his few years as a federal agent, he had learned that pizza after a hard case was the best thing in the world. And although they hadn't had too many hard cases, he was having a hard life.
"A whole pie? What happened to that diet of yours?" He heard a quiet but friendly voice behind him.
He turned around to find Abby, still in her black dress from the wedding, standing behind him, an uneasy yet somewhat comforting smile on her lips.
"Don't feel like cooking." He gave her a soft smile.
She forced a small smile. "Yea, me neither." There was a small awkward silence. Abby looked to the ground, biting her inner lip. "Want some company?" she asked meekly.
"I don't know." He confessed. "Are we still fighting?" he twisted his mouth to the side as her eyes met his.
"Only if you want to."
He gave her a genuine smile. "You know I don't like fighting with you." He said with true kindness in his voice.
"I'm sorry." She crooked her head sideways, while her voice had a slight pep to it that he couldn't describe.
"Me too." he replied with a happy smile.
"Make up hug?" she asked, causing him to let loose and unexpected laugh. He nodded and embraced her in his arms. She was soft, comforting, she was Abby.
She let go and her smile was wide and open, causing a chuckle to slip out. "Come on." She slapped a twenty on the counter "I'm buying." and picked up the box that had just been placed there for him. Giving McGee a quick kiss on the cheek, she looped her arm through his and happily walked out the door.
…
Their first car ride as a married couple.
A married couple.
The words seemed so fresh and new to the tongue.
Ziva sat on the passenger's side, despite how happy she was, she wasn't feeling her best. She looked out the window, watching the world pass her by at 65 miles an hour.
Then, a comforting, warm feeling surrounded her hand, she looked down to see Tony's palm around hers, holding it tight. She looked up at him and shared a warm smile.
"You okay?" he asked gently, his thumb brushing against her hand.
"Fine, just a little weak." She admitted, resting her head on the rolled up sweatshirt he had given to her as a pillow.
There was silence for a while; a light, comforting silence.
"I love you, Mrs. Dinozzo." He couldn't help but smile.
She chuckled. The name sounded strange to her, but she loved it anyway. "I love you too."
A moment or so passed before she said anything else, but there was something on her mind, or rather her heart. "I need to confess something."
"Anything."
She took a breath, and she felt strangely comfortable. "I have never been in love with you." And a frown found its way to his face. "But I did trust you, with my life." He nodded, eyes firmly on the road and hand still holding onto hers. "And soon, I have come to realize, you can love someone, without being in love with them."
"And for a while, that is what I did." She turned her head towards him, watching him watch the road. "But when I found out about my cancer…" she took a breath, a realization. "Something changed in me." She looked at him with soft eyes. "And as I sat across from you, knowing I was dying, I saw something that I have never seen in you before." She sounded confused, as if she was speaking her thoughts and they had yet to be processed fully. "I still do not know what it was, but…" she breathed a laugh. "I started falling for you."
She could not believe these words were coming out of her mouth right now. "When we kissed, that night, on my bed…I knew you were the one. You were my," she laughed in through her surprise. "Soul mate."
He smiled. A bright, inerasable smile. "And you're-"
"No, Tony." And for some reason she smiled too, but it was a sad smile. "I am not. If I were, I would not be dying."
"Does It matter?" he asked solemnly, obviously trying to present a valid argument with such a simple statement.
"The only reason we are together is because I am dying." And you could hear the sadness that strung together that sentence.
"Ziva, no. We realized because you're dying." He bit his lip, staring hard at the road.
"Death is still the enabler. If I was not dying, we would never be. You would have found someone else, and you still will." She explained, a mixture of sadness and hope in her voice.
"No, I wo-" he felt her tighten her grip on his hand.
"Tony, let's no talk about this now. Let us just enjoy ourselves." She hid her sorrows with a softly merry tone.
She was trying hard to be happy at this time, and soon, she would be filled with happiness, trying to cover up the pain and sadness that death plagued her with.
But for now, they drove. Tony thought, Ziva dozed.
And how could you be someone's soul mate when they are not yours?
He fit is his fingers in the spaces between hers. "Even if I am not your soul mate," his voice grew sad, but sprang with hope as he continued. "You are still my wife, and you are still my partner." His glistening eyes begged to cry, but he did not allow them to. "And I still love you."
The smile on her lips was not one of content or happiness, it was one of pure love.
"You should go to sleep." He suggested after a while. "We still have a good hour before we get there."
The sun was beginning to set, but it was not fully visible behind the tall pine trees that watched over the highway. But the sky was a perfect mixture of orange, pink, blue, and yellow. They were on their way to Virginia Beach, a night on the beach, under the stars, would do the newlywed couple good.
She nodded, even though she was already contemplating sleep. She laid her head to rest on the sweatshirt once again and watched the road, and cars, and trees pass by her too quickly. And soon, she was fast asleep, her hand still wrapped in Tony's.
And Tony waited until he knew she was truly asleep to let his heart ache and his tears fall.
For this was such a beautiful disaster.
…
(McGee's Apartment)
McGee and Abby sat contently on the floor, open pizza box in the middle of them and a few empty beer bottles scattered around them. They both sat next to each other, back leaning on the bottom of the couch and Jethro sleepy quite happily at their feet.
"I still can't believe it." McGee said in astonishment.
"Married. Mr. and Mrs. Dinozzo." Abby shook her head slowly at the thought.
"It's so…peculiar."
"But it really makes you think. I mean, at a time like this you just wanna stay with the ones you love." She took a bite of her pizza, looking around his apartment.
"Yea, cause life could end so quickly…or slowly." He agreed sadly.
Her tears startled him, her hugged her knees and cried into her thighs, causing Jethro to lift up his head, when he saw she was in distress he got up and walked over to her, sitting down next to her , placing his head on hers and whimpering. "Abs." he hated himself for making her cry.
Wrapping an arm around her, he rubbed her back with comfort, before she lunged onto him, wrapping her arms around his neck and never wanting to let go.
She sobbed into his shoulder, and he was okay with that.
"I hate this." Her mouth was so close to his ear, he could hear her loud and clear despite the sobs that escaped her.
Her voice was filled with sadness and frustration. "I hate that she comes into work with a beautiful smile and I have to act like everything's okay when all I can think of is how much I'm going to miss that smile and now that her and Tony are together I keep thinking how much of a wreck Tony's gunna be but Ducky keeps telling me to live in the now and not think of the future but the futures all I can think of an-"
She stopped, she did not need to be stopped, she just…did. And she took her head off of McGee's shoulder and looked into his eyes.
"I'm tired of pretending." She sounded exhausted, and he saw that in her eyes. With a small quirk to her lips, she laid her head back on his shoulder and let out a deep sigh.
He held her closer. "So am I."
Wow. Got this done. Its 1:10 a.m. here and I really wanted to get this done before my friend's party.
Didja like the littlep play on the Tiva elevator scene? Hehe, just thought of that when i was in the shower...i do my best thinking while in there:D
Reviews and favorite line and yadda yadda yadda would be much appreciated:D think we can get to 200? I think so.