"Call Me Irresponsible"
Chapter 3
Lost
"Hey on the way back can we stop by McDonald's. I'm hungry," Jared asked.
"Jared. It's three o'clock in the fucking morning how can you possibly be hungry," Lilly questioned.
"I am a growing boy I need food."
"Dude we share a room I've seen you naked. I'm pretty sure that you are done growing," Jared smiled.
"Hey no cock talk in the car," Lilly laughed as they pulled up at Miley's house.
"Ahh how does it feel to come back to the place you were kicked out of," Jared joked.
"Get out of the car," Lilly smiled as she smacked him on the head.
"Hey every time you do that I lose a brain cell," Jared complained as he rubbed the back of his head.
"Well you didn't have that many at first so you should be in the negatives by now," Lilly laughed. "Now come on help me find a rock."
"Ahh here I find one," Jared smiled holding up a massive stone.
"Jared I'm trying to get her attention not scare her to death by SMASHING thru her window."
"Maybe you SHOULD stop smacking him upside his head," Jared whispered. "Here," he said picking up a small pebble. "Try this."
"Oh this should be perfect thanks Sammy," she smiled as she ruffled his hair. "Ooh we need to get you a haircut."
"MOM. My hair is soft, and luxurious. I wouldn't cut it for anything," he smiled flipping his hair.
"No wonder you don't have a girlfriend. Let me tell you something a very smart man once said. "If you spend more than five minutes with your straightner, then you're not as straightner as you thought."
"That joke was really on the weak side mom," Jared smiled.
"Hey I'm getting old once your boobs drop so do your jokes."
"Oh come on mom. No one wants to hear about your boobs. That's mom's job. Come on Jared let's get in the car before we start talking about vagina's," he cringed as he handed Lilly his guitar.
"Why don't you actually see a vagina before you start talking about other peoples," Lilly smiled.
"See there you go. That was a good joke. Too bad your boobs aren't going to get any perkier," Sam laughed.
"Oh would you get in the car. Good luck mom," Jared smiled giving Lilly a thumbs up as he pushed Jared into the car.
"Hey I have a broken leg here could you be a little gentler."
"Oh man up."
Lilly smiled as she took the pebble and tossed it at Miley's window.
Miley slowly stirred awake as she heard a thumping outside her window. She rolled out of bed and pulled her robe on. She opened the doors to her terrace and saw Lilly looking up at her.
"Lilly what are you doing," Miley shrieked.
"Well, when I told you I loved you today you never gave me an answer. Now am I going to have to give you the same speech I did when I was thirteen or are you just going to let me up?"
"You know I have a door. You know that square block of wood with a bronze knob on it that most HUMANS use to get inside a house?"
"Well that would be very disturbing to your neighbors who are trying to sleep, and the way I see it I won you over the first time doing this so I might as well stick to the same game plan," Lilly smiled. "Now are you going to let me up or not?"
Suddenly a rope ladder appeared on the ground giving Lilly the heads up to come in.
"Uhh is this the same ladder. This was much easier the first time I did this, and I'm an athlete," Lilly grumbled.
"Can you make it up grandma," Miley laughed.
"Ha ha. Come on I'm trying to be serious here. Now when I was sleeping I thought about how much I missed you. I want to give this another shot. I think the first time we did this that maybe we were a little too young. I mean how many sixteen year old marriages do you know that last forever? So, I decided that I want you back, and one thing hasn't changed since I did this when I was thirteen. I might be irresponsible, impractical, and unpredictable, but I know one thing for sure and that is the fact that I'm so in love with you Miley Ray Stewart I don't know what to do with myself. I made a big mistake when I let you walk away from me the first time and damn it I'm not going to let you do it again."
"So what are you saying you want to get married again?"
"Yes. I know what you're thinking. Maybe we should date, maybe we should spend some time learning about each other but I have known you for nineteen years how much more can I learn. I know that you hate waking up past ten. I know that whenever I'm not home past eight-thirty your ready to send a whole search party after me which is a little crazy but it shows you care which I love. I know your nose scrunches up when you're confused, and your nostrils flare when you're angry. I know that you hate talking about your mom but when you get started and get over the sadness your face lights up like a kid in a candy store, and when you're horny you get that lopsided grin, but I also know that I've always been impractical and unpredictable and that's one of the things you love about me. I have been lost for five years and I'm tired of us not being together because we were both too stubborn to admit we were wrong. Last night when I got that call from you saying our son was in the hospital it was one of the worst things that I could have ever imagined hearing, and when I heard that he was ok it was the best thing I had heard in a long time. But for some reason I still felt empty, and when I looked into your eyes as you kissed me and touched me I felt like my world was for the first time in five years finally worth living again. If we didn't have those two amazing kids of ours, then I don't know if I would have made it or not. I promise you now that whatever you need I will get it for you. If you have to work for a whole month straight I will miss you like crazy but I would wait for you, and I won't complain like I used to. Hell if you wanted to start dealing crack and selling yourself I wouldn't like it but I wouldn't judge you and I would stand on any grimy corner with you and watch some shitbag take you home every night. I was never really good with talking you know that so I guess I could play this for you better than I could tell you. So here I go," Lilly smiled starting to play with the strings.
"I can't believe it's over
I watched the whole thing fall
And I never saw the writing that was on the wall
If I'd only knew
The days were slipping past
That the good things never last
That you were crying
Summer turned to winter
And the snow it turned to rain
And the rain turned into tears upon your face
I hardly recognized the girl you are today
And god I hope it's not too late
It's not too late
'Cause you are not alone
I'm always there with you
And we'll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When your worlds crashing down
And you can't bear the thought
I said, babe, you're not lost
Life can show no mercy
It can tear your soul apart
It can make you feel like you've gone crazy
But you're not
Things have seem to changed
There's one thing that's still the same
In my heart you have remained
And we can fly fly fly away
'Cause you are not alone
And I am there with you
And we'll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When the worlds crashing down
And you cannot bear the cross
I said, baby, you're not lost
I said, baby, you're not lost
I said, baby, you're not lost
I said, baby, you're not lost," Lilly finished.
"I can't believe you're doing this," Miley growled aggravated.
"That didn't sound very excited."
"You're damn right I'm not happy," Miley screamed. "I mean why do you always do that. You fuck up and then you come crawling back on your hands and knees with that cute little smile of yours, and that little nose, and then your eyes. Don't even get me started on your eyes. Every time I look into those eyes of yours I fall in love with you a little bit more, and that's one of the things I love about Sam he has those shinning blue eyes that remind me of you, and I just hate it how I can't make it through one day without needing you, wanting you, and craving you. It hurts me sometimes how much I love you. I can-," Miley was cut off by Lilly smashing her lips onto hers.
"I'm going to have to tell her sometime" Miley thought as a sudden sadness overcame her.
"Oh God I love you so much," Lilly laughed breaking the kiss but soon went in for more.
"YEAH GET SOME MOM," Sam laughed from the car as Miley broke away laughing.
"You brought them with you," Miley smiled.
"Well what was I going to do with them? I was afraid that they would burn the house down, you know how destructive they are," Lilly smiled looking over the terrace. "Hey you guys should have your keys on you so you could sleep in your rooms tonight. I might have to warn you though there might be some mysterious moaning in the night," Lilly laughed as her stomach slightly rumbled.
"Or we could go out and get your momma something to eat and come back and watch movies until the wee hours of the morning even though you have missed four day of school. Fuck what's one more day gonna do," Miley questioned.
"I'm sorry but did you just swear mom," Sam smiled bewildered.
"Well I was thinking and I came to the conclusion that I should be more spontaneous and adventurous like your mom," Miley smiled. "I'm going to be as crazy as I want, I want to travel more, and I want to have sex wherever I want. In the bed, on the floor, in the kitchen, and in every room of this house."
"That's pretty gross seeing as we occupy two of the rooms in this house," Jared complained.
"Ohh baby I think we should start in their rooms first," Miley moaned as Lilly rubbed her back getting lower, and lower.
"I think that's a great idea maybe we can start now," Lilly smiled into Miley's neck as she turned her around and crashed their mouths together getting a delighted moan from Miley as Lilly glided her hands in the front of Miley's pants.
"FOOD. I WANT FOOD LET'S GO," Jared yelled. "YOU CAN SISCOR AND SCREW OR WHATEVER LESBIANS DO LATER," Jared joked. "Hey, that rhymed," he snorted.
"Ok come on," Lilly smiled. "Pile up gang. Sam start the car, Jared get your seatbelt on I don't need you getting hurt too, and you missy," Lilly laughed, "need to put some clothes on. I mean who's in bed at two-thirty in the morning anyway."
"Hmm I wonder," Miley smiled. "I'll be down in a second."
"An actual second or your "hour it takes to get ready" second," Lilly asked.
"Zip it Skippy," grinned.
"I'm just saying I don't think we were ever on time for anything when we were married," Lilly stated putting her hands up in defense.
"The rate you're going you're not getting sex for a week," Miley threatened.
"Oh really," Lilly asked as she strutted towards the brunette. "I think that would hurt me more than you," Lilly whispered as she slid her hands in the side of Miley's robe and slightly bit her ear. "I'll see you in a few," Lilly seductively smiled as she walked out the door and out to her car.
As Lilly, Sam, and Jared waited in the car much to their pleasure within a few minutes Miley was ready to go and they were headed to McDonalds.
"Okey dokey we're here. Sam can you hand me my purse," Lilly asked.
"What purse?"
"My purse. It should be in the backseat"
"Well it should be but it's not. It's not back here."
"What do you mean it's not back there?"
"I mean it's not back here. Would you like me to talk slower?"
"Hey we can just go back home, I'll grab my wallet, and we can come back," Miley suggested.
"No wait. I've got an idea," Lilly grinned as she opened her car door and quickly got out soon followed by Miley, Jared, and Sam.
"What are we doing here," Jared asked as they stopped at the wishing well right next to McDonalds.
"Well we don't have any money so we are going to get some," Lilly grinned as she shook off her jacket and handed it to Miley. "Can you hold that for me please?"
"Lilly. What are you doing," Miley scolded.
"What it's a brand new $1500 dollar jacket, I don't want to ruin it."
"That's not what I-. Wait you spent fifteen hundred dollars on a jacket," Miley questioned.
"It was on sale," Lilly defended.
"From what?"
"$1501."
"Lilly how many times do I have to tell you? Just because you find a dollar under your car seat before you go into a store doesn't mean it's on sale," Miley smiled.
"Ok can we talk about my money spending issues later? Here," Lilly said handing Sam her phone, and her wedding ring. "Maybe you won't judge me on my spending preferences."
"You still wear that," Miley smiled.
"I never took it off. I always kept it in my pocket when I went to drop the kids off because I didn't want it to be awkward but I always have it on me," Lilly stated nonchalantly.
"Neither did I," Miley grinned pulling her ring out of her pocket as well.
"Uhh mom. I'm kind of hungry here," Jared interrupted his parents eye gazing.
"Right," Lilly smiled clasping her hands together.
"Ok wish me luck I'm going in," Lilly grinned.
"You know that things like two feet deep," Miley laughed.
"Yeah but you know my need to be dramatic," Lilly smiled.
"Yeah that's one thing I do remember."
"OK let's see," Lilly smiled stepping into the pond.
After a few minutes of tip-toeing around the pond with a little assistance from Jared seeing as Sam couldn't maneuver around enough and Miley refused to take part in such foolishness Lilly finally came up with about $10.43 when a screeching police siren pulled up behind him.
"Oh shit," Lilly sighed slowly turning around. "Were gunna get arrested…again."
"Again," Sam asked but was cut off by the police men getting out of the squad car.
"What can we do for you officer," Lilly smiled.
"What are you four doing in there. That's a violation of public property."
"Well you see officer," Lilly started to explain. "My wife and I here got divorced five years ago for reasons we found out the other day neither of us can understand in the hospital after our son got hit by a car. So I went and serenaded her on her terrace kind of like a reenactment of when we first got together and my kid here Jared whose stomach is an endless pit was hungry so we came here. Problem is none of us remember any money so I had the brilliant idea to jump in this pond and "borrow" other people's wish money to buy us some food."
After a long silence the officer finally answered.
"Wait. Did you say you two were married," he asked.
"Yesssss," Lilly droned out.
"So that means your lesbians," he grinned.
"Yeah that's kinds of implied asshole," Lilly snipped.
"Ok. I'll let you off if you two make out in front of me for two minutes WITH tongue," he grinned.
"Hey prev those are our moms you're talking about," Sam defended limping forward.
"Hey Sam calm down. Here take this and go get us some food. You too Jare," Lilly defended giving Sam the change.
"You sure mom," Sam asked.
"Yeah just go," Lilly grinned.
"Ok just call me if you need anything. Remember that rape whistle I got you last year for Christmas? Don't be afraid to use it," Jared reminded slowly walking into the building.
"Yeah Jare I remember," Lilly laughed.
"Ok am I going to see any action or am I taking you in," the cop asked impatiently.
"You're lucky she's hot and I like making out with her," Lilly growled pulling Miley into an unexpected kiss that Miley quickly responded to.
After the two minutes were up and the officer was fully satisfied Miley and Lilly soon re-united with Sam and Jared inside the restaurant only to find a smitten Sam limping towards the door, Jared not too far behind.
"What's got you so smiley," Lilly grinned.
"You know how Kenny Chesney has that song "She Thinks My Tractors Sexy," Sam asked.
"Yes," Lilly depended.
"Well that certain little brown-eyed brunette cashier thinks that my cast is sexy and gave me her number WITH all ten digits," he beamed.
"OK come on pay up," Miley smiled.
"Sorry ma I don't have my wallet on me I'll have to pay you later," Jared grumbled.
"Yeah sorry Miles," Lilly shoved her hands in her pocket.
"What was that about," Sam asked.
"We made a bet a little while ago that you were gay," Lilly admitted sheepishly.
"YOU WHAT?"
"Well what do you expect? You're always bouncing around with different girls and you spend more time on your appearance than your mother," Lilly smiled getting a sneer form Miley.
"It's not my fault I'm a hot piece of man candy. Women want this all the time I have to bounce around to get them all satisfied."
"Samuel Jensen Truscott what have I told you about disrespecting women like that," Lilly scolded
"Calm down mom I'm only joking," Sam laughed.
"Ok lets go I'm hungry and the food getting cold," Sam suggested.
When they all got home after some serious argument they all finally decided to watch "Wedding Crashers" seeing as it was Jared's favorite movie and he told them the only way he would forgive them for thinking he was gay was if they watched his favorite movie. Seeing as it was now three in the morning they all were soon asleep with Jared and Sam stretched across the floor and Miley lying on top of Lilly on the sofa. An infatuated Lilly was still awake though as she softly stroked Miley's hair.
"Are you obsessed with my hair," Miley muttered as she smiled.
"You want to get re-married tomorrow," Lilly asked abruptly.
"What," Miley startled.
"I want us to get re-married tomorrow. I know this isn't a very romantic way to ask but to tell you the truth I'm pretty tapped out of romantic schemes," Lilly smiled.
"Lil there's something I have to tell you," Miley panicked.
"Wait before you say anything I just wanted to tell you that I love you so much. I have messed up so many numerous times before and I know that you probably shouldn't give me another chance but I don't want to be with anybody else but you. I have never kissed anyone, or dated anyone, or made love to anyone but you, and notice how I said "made love" and not sex," Lilly smiled as Miley let out a light chuckle. "That's because you change me. I find myself doing things for you that I wouldn't even try to do for some people."
"No Lilly you don't get it I-," Miley stared as Jared slowly stirred awake.
"What are you two doing down here," Jared smiled. "Trying to get a little freaky time on the couch. Ok I get it," he smiled shaking Sam awake directing him to bed slowly walking up after him.
"Hey mom," Jared smiled.
"Yeah," Miley and Lilly responded in unison shooting a smile each others way.
"I'm happy you guys are back together," he grinned.
"Me too Jare Bear," Lilly smirked taking Miley's hand in hers. "Me too."
"Goodnight Ma."
"Goodnight baby," Lilly smiled as Jared's form retreated up the stairs. "Now what was it you wanted to tell me," Lilly smiled.
"Umm I-I-I," Miley stuttered.
"You started off with look Lilly I have something to tell you," Lilly quoted. "What was it?"
"I-I-…I love you too," Miley smiled as Lilly let out a squeal of excitement and went in to give Miley an excited yet passionate kiss. "So you'll do it, you'll marry me again tomorrow?"
"Yes," Miley grinned.
Lilly soon swept in and gave her a massive hug not noticing the look of terror that slid across Miley's face.
"We are going to be so happy again Miles. I love you so much," Lilly squealed kissing Miley's neck.
"Ok…." Miley flustered.
"Why don't we go upstairs and I'll show you how much," Lilly grinned mischievously as she slid her hands up Miley's shirt.
"OK," Miley agreed as Lilly slid off the couch and ripped off her shirt and bra off.
"Are you coming Miles."
Lilly shrieked as Miley pounced off the sofa and hoisted her in the air and sprinted up the stairs a giggling Lilly in her arms.
"I'm gonna make you scream," Lilly whimpered as Miley threw her on the bed.
"Not until I'm done with you your not," Miley smiled setting aside her problems for now.
A/N: This kind of gave you a slight foreshadow of things to come. Guess you'll have to figure out… ;)
Songs used in this chapter:
Lost-Michael Buble
Movies used in this chapter:
Wedding Crashers (One of if not my favorite movies. I love Vince Vaughn!)
Restaurants used in this chapter:
McDonalds
Disclaimer: I don't own McDonalds, Wedding Crashers (well I do own it on DVD), or all the Michael Buble songs I use (LOVE HIM!).