Right now, I really hate my parents.
They're the reason that I'm in pain right now, because of the damn Dark Mark on my forearm. Searing, and burning continuously. I didn't believe it was going to stop anytime soon. But, I knew I would have to hope.
My back was against the brick wall of the hallway I was in, having come back inside fully. It was deserted, thankfully, but I doubted that it would last long. I had already glimpsed the caretaker and he didn't seem like the best person to run into. And I also didn't doubt that if there were any slight reason or hint that he could get me into trouble, he would do so.
I vaguely noticed that I was clutching my arm to my chest, and taking deep, labored breaths through my mouth quickly. It was hard to believe that Voldemort would want my presence right now. Honestly, why else was I sent to this god-forsaken school if he was just going to want me right back by his side. Unless this was a test of my loyalty, which he should know by now was not with him at all. I only had a loyalty with getting away from him, and he knew this. I was surprised he hadn't tried to do anything to make sure that he wouldn't lose me yet. But then again, as soon as I begin to think that he won't do anything to me to make sure that I stay loyal to him – or at least under his control completely – it'll change and exactly what I had thought he wouldn't do, he would.
I knew Tom Marvolo Riddle very well, even better than anyone else would be able to imagine. But maybe that was because I was like him, in few ways and many ways as well.
Not really caring, I let my head hit the hard, cold wall and huffed. "Why now?" I muttered, looking at the opposite wall. Then, I shook my head and let my hair fall in front of my face lightly. I didn't lift a hand to brush it away, but only closed my eyes and forced myself to refrain from tensing up from the pain of the Dark Mark. 'Might as well get comfortable,' I thought tiredly, and sighed softly.
It was quiet around me for a few minutes, but then I started hearing footsteps coming near my location. I didn't move much at all, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly. The footsteps came closer, and I heard the person round the corner nearest to where I was. Then, the sound of breathing and a beating heart right next to me sounded as the person brushed my hair away from my face. The familiar warmth of that hand made me more alert and I opened my eyes a bit to see Blaise's worried face looking at me. "What're you doing down here, Lila? Do you know how long I've been looking for you? Do you even know what time it is?" He said, firing off the questions before I could even take 3 breaths. A frown curved my lips, and I sighed.
"I think you can take a guess as to why I'm down here if you look at my arm." I whispered, my voice surprising me. It was rough, somewhat hoarse, and I cleared my throat a bit.
I had thought that it had only been a few minutes…
And apparently I had been wrong.
His breath caught for a short moment and I just looked at him, the frown having disappeared as soon as it had came. His brown eyes searched mine for a moment and then they closed and he shook his head. "Why would…?" He murmured under his breath, forgetting for a moment that I could still hear him. "I don't know, but I can't exactly be around people when that's happening. It's been getting worse and more often. I don't know why, even if I know him well. It's making me so tired…I don't think I can handle it much longer anymore…" I muttered, blowing a sigh. Blaise shook his head, and cupped my cheek lightly. "Don't even think about it again, okay?" He said, giving me a hard look and I just smile grimly at him. "I can't guarantee that. It's an intriguing thought…" I said, and a small, odd sounding laugh came from my lips. "Lila Janin Coltt." He said in a sharp voice and I shook my head a bit, raising a hand to knock his hand from my cheek. He removed his hand from my cheek and grabbed my wrist tightly.
I hissed in pain, considering the wrist was on the arm with my Dark Mark. "Don't consider it…okay?" He said, though his grip on my wrist lightened up to the point of which he was barely holding it. "I've told you before, Blaise. I can make any guarantees or promises on anything considering my current position. Ask me again in a year or so." I whispered, slipping my wrist from his grip as I started to try and get up.
Failing horribly at the attempt, Blaise sighed and wrapped his arm around my waist and took a grip on my hand lightly as he hoisted me up. I put an arm around his neck lazily to somewhat help him. "You're so odd." He muttered and I managed a laugh. "You just realized this, Zabini?" I teased lightly, a small smile growing on my lips and he chuckled. "No, but it's something that should be noted anyways, Coltt." He said, and I shook my head. Then, using the arm I had around his neck, I caught my balance and slid my hand until it was on his shoulder. "Thanks." I said, and he patted my hand that was placed on his shoulder. "You're not welcome, as always. Anyways, we need to get going because the Start of Term Feast is going to start soon. And you need to get sorted into Slytherin, Lila; you've been keeping me waiting too long." He teased, and I rolled my eyes as I removed my hand from his shoulder. "Maybe I should influence the hat to put me in Gryffindor, and maybe then you won't like me too much." I mocked, and he had a disgusted face at my words. "That isn't even something you should joke about. It's stupid and you'd just get punished brutally for doing so. Not to mention you'd be among the repulsive blood traitors and mudbloods." He said, snarling the last word with immense distaste. "Don't you dare say that word, Blaise Zabini." I growled, looking at him as my eyes flashed black. He stared me down before shaking his head. "You're too trusting, Lila. Too willing to give everyone a chance. Some day, you'll regret your ways and some day it'll be the reason you die." He said harshly and I narrowed my eyes as I huffed. "And maybe you'll die at my hand, Blaise. It's going to be such a pleasure for me." I snapped, feral, and stormed ahead of him. "Lila!" He bellowed after me, but I didn't turn back to look at him.
But I admit, it was pretty difficult to keep from retorting at his shout…
"Leave me alone, Blaise! You've already done enough!" I shouted, not turning my head as I stormed away from him.
Quite ironic, as I find it, because at that moment thunder cracked outside with a loud boom! and I heard Blaise run after me. His hand enclosed on my wrist and I turned sharply, glaring at him. "What? Haven't you had enough fun making me mad, Zabini?" I said coldly, and he flinched when I called him by his last name. "Lila, just calm –" I ripped my wrist from his grasp. "I will not calm down, Blaise Zabini. And don't even think for one moment that what you said can be easily forgiven." He opened his mouth to say something but I spoke before him. "You should know how sensitive I am to the word Mudblood. You should know that I hate the word because my parents treat me no better than one! I don't care! I will not forgive you for using that word, and treating any Muggleborn with such disrespect, when you have a friend – if I even am your friend – that knows exactly how they feel." I said, a death glare pointed toward him. He looked into my black eyes, and took my arms lightly. I hissed in pain when he grasped where my Dark Mark was, and he immediately released me. "Don't touch me you foul, unworthy, piece of –" He interrupted me. "Lila!" He said desperately and I glared at him, fuming silently as I held my Marked arm gingerly in my grasp. "Bloody hell, just calm down and let me apologize!" He said quickly when I opened my mouth angrily.
I snorted, and turned and started walking away. "You, Blaise Zabini, apologizing? Please, have someone Stupefy me and then Innervate me. Then say that to me, that you would like to apologize." I said, shaking my head. Blaise turned me around and made me stand still, his hands resting on my shoulders. "Don't be hurtful in return, Lila. That never helps anything." He said, and I narrowed my eyes. "It helps me calm down, Blaise. And isn't that what you wanted? Even though you have the nerve to command me to calm down when –"
Blaise shushed me and I huffed, looking away from him. "Just listen to me for a moment, that's all I ask." He said, and I glanced at him for a moment. "I'll be counting, you twat. Now let go of me and I'll actually pay attention." I said harshly, and he released me and took a step back.
"You were saying?" I said impatiently once a moment passed of him watching my expression cautiously. A grim smile came to his lips and he sighed quietly. "What I was trying to say is that I apologize for being insensitive and saying the word Mud–" I glared. He cleared his throat uncomfortably, and continued on. "Well…saying that word and I honestly do hope that you can forgive me because you know things never go right when you're mad at me. So, I'm asking if you could forgive me because it would be a lot better if on your first day here at Hogwarts that you aren't upset and could possibly hurt someone. So, will you forgive me?" He said, and I stared at him blankly for a moment before a fake, pleasant smile came to my lips.
I took a few steps toward him, and stood in front of him. Then, I looked him over and looked at his face with a smirk on my lips. I spoke only one word.
"No."
He raised an eyebrow at me. I turned and walked away from him. "Oh, Lila?" He called after me. I stopped, and turned as I crossed my arms and faced him. "What?" I asked irritably, and he smirked widely. "You don't know where the Great Hall is from here, do you?" He said, and I thought for a moment before groaning. "I have to forgive you, don't I?" I asked feebly, and he grinned triumphantly. "If you want to find the Great Hall and get sorted, you will." He said, and I huffed. "Fine, I forgive you…" I mumbled, taking a few steps toward him unwillingly. "What was that?" He said, grinning even wider and he put his hand at his ear. "I forgive you, Zabini." I snapped and he tsked, shaking his head. "Not good enough. You have to mean it, Lila." He said, smirking at me now and I glared viciously at him. Blaise raised an eyebrow and I groaned, then huffed as I mustered up all the 'kindness' I could give out at the moment. "I forgive you, Blaise." I said, faking a smile and he chuckled. He opened his mouth to object but I glared. He shook his head, and then came up and gave me a mocking side hug as I scowled at the ground. "I'll accept it. Now come on, we've got about 15 minutes till the feast begins." He said, and unwrapped his arm from my form as he walked ahead of me. I rolled my eyes and then walked until I was by his side.
"You're unbelievable." I said, shaking my head. He grinned and looked down at me. "Unbelievable enough for you to be mine?" He said, joking lightly, and I scoffed. "Nuh-uh. Even if you are that unbelievable, I don't want to screw things up with us. I've told you that too many times." I said, and he frowned a bit before scrunching his nose. "Fine…but you can't get mad at me if I try anything. You know that." He said, and I sighed. "Yes, I know I can't get –" At that moment, he pressed his lips against mine and I froze up. Then, immediately, I shoved him off. "Er…Blaise…you know I don't feel that way about you." I said awkwardly, my cheeks flushed as I looked away from him. He sighed, and put his hand under my chin and tilted my head up.
He looked at me and I jerked my chin out of his hand. "That doesn't do anything; you know I can't after what happened…" I said, shaking my head vigorously. I could sense his anger as he stood in front of me. His eyes were burning with repulsion and I knew what it was from. "You're still thinking about that mutt?" He growled, and I winced. "Don't call him that." I said feebly, frowning up at him. Blaise clenched his teeth, and his jaw was taut. "I can call him whatever I please after what he did to you! Lila, how in the hell is he better than me? Please, explain. Because all I think of him is that he's an outright foul prat who has no respect for anyone but himself! And obviously, he just used you. So, why and how in the bloody hell could you still be in love with him?" He said viciously, and I flinched. "You don't know the whole story." I managed, grimacing. "Really, Lila? Then please enlighten me. I'd love to know how you could even spare any amount of love for that undeserving m –" I looked at him, shaking my head. "Don't call him a mutt." I muttered tearfully.
It was hurting me just to think of Andrew.
"I can call him what I want, Lila!" He snarled, and I looked up at him with eyes that were slowly filling with tears. "He doesn't deserve it!" I said defiantly, my lips trembling along with my voice as I held back the tears wanting to flow. "Yes, he does! Lila, who was the only one around when he left you, huh? Me. And yet, you somehow care for the asshole and can't even spare a little bit of the emotion you feel for him for me!" He said, and I looked at him in surprise and anger. "Maybe because you try to force me!" I said, my voice sharp and he looked at me with hard eyes. "Because you can't realize you care for me that way!" He argued, and I narrowed my eyes as I took a step closer to him. "Blaise Zabini, I guarantee you I know exactly what I want, and it's not you. The only thing I want and need you for is a friend. If you can't accept that bit of emotion – and only that bit – then I'm afraid that I'll have to relinquish that small bit of care that I reserve for you." I said coldly, and Blaise looked at me with a shocked gaze. "You don't mean that, Lila." He said, gulping, and I glared. "Do you really believe that, Blaise? Because I've exiled myself from many, many people. Do you honestly think that I won't do the same to you if I so desire?" I said plainly, my lips in a hard line.
He didn't have an answer to that.
I looked at him before shaking my head and taking a few slow steps away from him. "Just leave it alone, Blaise. You're going into territory that should be avoided, unless you want to get bombed. And I guarantee that my guard on it will not go down anytime soon." I said, and stopped for a moment as I looked back at him. My eyes and expression were serenely cold, and he gulped as he looked at me. "You don't know the whole story; and you never will if you keep this up. If you can't even accept what I'm happy with at the moment, that just proves how selfish you are. And it also proves how much I just…can't trust you." I said, my voice softening dangerously and Blaise flinched at my tone.
The tone – the soft, dangerous tone – was never a good thing to hear from me. It meant I wasn't…the cuddliest person. But, then again, when have I ever been anything like that? Blaise was one of the only two people who have ever seen that side of me…and the other one was off somewhere…most likely far away from me for my own 'safety' – taking what he would say.
For his reason, of my supposed safety, I didn't see how he ever got that ludicrous idea into his mind. I'm dangerous; he's dangerous. We'd get along great, seeing as we had before. But, Andrew had to go and be stubborn and leave me…all alone…heartbroken…
I cleared my throat and shook my head, and then looked at Blaise pointedly. "You honestly need to clear your head of your own desires and actually pay attention to others, for once, Blaise Zabini. For I guarantee that it will benefit you, and you may have friends loyal to you for longer than originally planned. Though, there are no promises that I would be among them; you've already started to show me how you really are. And, I think it's best if I part separately from you at the moment for your own safety. I'll find my own way to the Great Hall. There are no guarantees I'll speak to you for the rest of the evening; week; month. It really depends on whether or not you'll show me any respect that I know you have. Whether it is true and genuine or just some fake support, I do not really care. As soon as you get your priorities straight, then we'll talk about remaining friends. But, as of this moment, I almost consider you a…mere acquaintance, as my charming parents would put it in this kind of situation. Farewell, Blaise. For now, I'm sure you hope." I said, and turned as I walked down the corridor in the opposing direction.
Blaise Zabini was lucky to see the civilized side of me; where I could have easily used my savage side and possibly murdered him without – or with, depending on my afterthoughts – meaning to do so.
He was lucky that I had too many incidents where my power hurt people…severely and a few times where it had killed the people…that I'd rather not risk doing so again. And even the thought of it was torturing me…remembering all of the blood…it was terrible. I didn't even mean to…but I was provoked and unstable back then…and it had only been really recent that I've been able to control myself well enough. I could only wish that I could have had the restraint that I have no back then…maybe then…
I closed my eyes, and shook my head.
"That's the past…there's nothing I can do now." I whispered to myself, and cleared my throat to get rid of the lump starting to form. I would have to be able to talk…I was about to get Sorted…there was the matter of trying to persuade the hat, talking to Dumbledore and whoever the hell else that I encountered.
The sky was dull, with light rain showering outside the windows, as I headed in the general direction of the Great Hall.
Draco's POV
I was walking through the corridors – avoiding having to go into the Great Hall, actually – and my thoughts were on that girl…Lila Coltt. I had to admit…she was gorgeous. Of course, someone would have to be a complete imbecile not to see that immediate trait. But, there was just something about her. Something odd…almost off about her. It sort of reminded me of my parents; the cold aura around Lila was similar. Almost distant, thought from the way she had interacted with Blaise, I didn't really think that she could be distant. But, there was definitely one thing for sure that I knew about her.
She hated me.
It was pretty obvious, honestly. She loathed me; I could see it in her eyes. Or, if she didn't hate me then I know for sure that I was definitely an immense annoyance to her. It was kind of a low blow – though – because most girls would just fawn over me at a first glance. Lila was…different. And…I was surprised that I was actually lured in by that diverse concept about her. I found it…attractive. Plus, I have to say that having a girl act like Lila had toward me was really refreshing; girls' throwing themselves at me was really a nuisance. Especially with Pansy. Pansy was the worst of them all, and I had to deal with her daily.
Maybe…just maybe…she could drown in the Black Lake. Then, my problem would be solved, and then everyone else would ease by the lack of her constant annoyance. It was ridiculous how she was so – so oblivious to how much most people were irritated by her mere presence. But, that was a different matter now. It wasn't what I needed to concentrate on at the moment. There was a different matter to think of.
Lila; Lila Coltt.
I can tell that it will be difficult to have her for myself; what, with Blaise practically granting her every wish and being the one to cheer her up and everything else…they've known each other longer. He had the higher advantage this time. And, knowing Blaise, he wouldn't give up on her until he knew for sure that she was a lost cause and that there was no chance of him ever getting Lila to himself. I was honestly hoping – despite the fact that Blaise was one of what I could consider my best mates – that I was the cause for him to give up on her. Sure, he'd loathe me for all of eternity for it and I'd lose a reliable source, but Lila…she was a temptress. I could already tell that much.
'I wonder if she has any Veela blood in her veins along with that pureblood line…?' I thought errantly, and a small smirk started curving my lips. That would be a nice addition…a pureblood witch that has some Veela relic in her. That is what I would describe as the perfect woman for marriage. Of course, there was always the chance that my parents would end up arranging a marriage with Lila and myself…From what mother and father have told me, the Coltts are a very old, very pure family. And what was the luck that they had one child and it was a beautiful daughter that happened to be my age. If my memory rewards me, I also remember my mother telling me how she was a good friend with the Coltts; especially Katherine – who was Lila's mother. And how easily things could fall perfectly into place…
For me, and only me, that is.
At that moment, I heard the sound of voices – familiar voices – very close and I went quiet as I crept carefully toward the corner of the winding corridor. Then, I held my breath as I listened.
"That doesn't do anything; you know I can't after what happened…" I heard a newly familiar voice say; it sounded vulnerable.
And…and it was Lila.
"You're still thinking about that mutt?" I heard Blaise's infuriated snarl come. My eyebrows furrowed. Mutt? What mutt? An animagus or…oh, what else was it…"Don't call him that." Lila's voice came; it sounded even weaker. Like she was getting close to tears. "I can call him whatever I please after what he did to you! Lila, how in the hell is he better than me? Please, explain. Because all I think of him is that he's an outright foul prat who has no respect for anyone but himself! And obviously, he just used you. So, why and how in the bloody hell could you still be in love with him?" Blaise growled savagely. My eyes widened and I almost choked on the small intake of breath that I inhaled.
Lila was in love with someone; not Blaise, me or anyone except that one person.
But that person was a mutt…? What was the mutt?
"You don't know the whole story." I heard Lila's voice sound after a moment. The usually charming sound seemed like the sound of a vase breaking. Her voice sounded close to cracking. Did Blaise really have that much influence and affect on her?
"Really, Lila? Then please enlighten me. I'd love to know how you could even spare any amount of love for that undeserving m –" The melodic voice – though she sounded like she was crying – interrupted Blaise's tirade. "Don't call him a mutt." After a first glance, impression and conversation with Lila; I had to say that the way she was behaving now shocked me. She was weak; she was breaking apart at the seams. It actually made the feeling of pity start to stir in me, but I restrained it. I couldn't let myself go soft for some girl that hates me and who I've barely even met…
"I can call him what I want, Lila!" Blaise said harshly. Wow…this was…odd. And, for some odd reason I felt like I was intruding on something that was supposed to be private. Between only Blaise and Lila. And I admit, it wasn't any of my business. Reluctantly, I slowly started backing up toward a nearby tapestry. But, I still heard the ongoing argument.
"He doesn't deserve it!" There: Lila's voice finally cracked. She definitely sounded like she was crying…I'm pretty sure she was. But, I can't see her…so I wouldn't know. Obviously, I'm not going to risk being cursed by one of them for the sake of curiosity. That would be called being an idiotic prat; and I left that position up to Crabbe and Goyle. "Yes, he does! Lila, who was the only one around when he left you, huh? Me. And yet, you somehow care for the asshole and can't even spare a little bit of the emotion you feel for him for me!" I felt a surge of complete shock at these words. Blaise…in love with Lila? And he just admitted it; right to her face. Not to mention that he's also jealous of the guy that she loves…who was a mutt…And suddenly the answer came to me immediately.
Werewolf.
The guy she – Lila Coltt – loved, was a werewolf.
It was a shock, and also repulsive. How could a girl like her – a perfect specimen and example of how a real pureblood should be – love that vermin? A werewolf was a terrible thing to love; they had no value, really. And yet, her mind was tainted with the illusion of loving some filthy beast…how wonderful. This just made everything more difficult for me.
"Maybe because you try to force me!" Lila said, angry now as she bellowed at him. I shook my head, and backed up quicker to get to the tapestry. I was next to it and pulled it out and then hid.
It was a few minutes longer, and I merely heard the muffled sound of a cold voice that I expected to be mostly Lila. And then, it was quiet as the faint sound of footsteps echoed in the now silent corridor. But then, they ceased for a short moment. The footsteps had stopped right in front of the tapestry. I stiffened, and didn't even breathe for a moment. My heartbeat seemed too loud in the silence, but the silence was disrupted by a soft voice: a whisper maybe.
"That's the past…there's nothing I can do now." The voice was solemn, and full of remorse at the same time.
The footsteps started up again and I didn't breathe until I couldn't hear them anymore. I let out a long breath and confusion clouded my thoughts. About hearing Lila and Blaise arguing about – about their feelings? Or something like that, I was sure. And then…what was the past?
Bloody hell…this was going to drive me insane.