The Aislin Chronicles
Part X
A/n: Thanks for your review, daisyduke947, and thanks to Arodluverus2001 for all your review. Enjoy Part X.
2-22-03
1:05 PM
I wasn't surprised at all that they woke up at noon. I was up at like nine of course. I got on my computer. Oh, how I missed it. Mr. Internet most certainly is my friend. Anyway, when they got up and around we ate a brunch of sorts and I kept looking at Vaughn, wondering when I should say something. I mean, this wasn't something I could just bring up. "Hey, Dad, so Sydney's mother killed your dad?" Probably not how he wanted to start his morning out.
Sydney went to take a shower after we ate and Vaughn sat at the table reading the paper while I stared down at my plate. Hearty bowl of cereal for breakfast, eggs and toast for lunch. So I just started my introduction… I had been planning it through the meal. "Do you remember when you called and I said I wanted to talk to you?"
He practically threw the paper down. "Yeah?"
He looked so concerned, I felt kind of bad for worrying him. "Well, at Jack's I found out something…" He nodded. And I freaked. That was as far as I had gotten in my introduction. I had hoped it would just spill out after that, but it didn't. It got stuck somewhere between my brain and my mouth. Maybe I should have sneezed it out… "About your dad, and how he died…"
"Oh." His expression was unreadable.
I had a million questions and yet not one made sense to me. "I guess I just… Why didn't you tell me?" At that moment I wished I hadn't even brought it up. The look on his face just turned saddened, and sickened. But mostly I wished he'd say something. "And like, how does Sydney feel?"
"How does Sydney feel about what?" Sydney asked coming back into the room. "Vaughn, I can't find the shampoo."
"It's, uhhh, in one of the smaller suitcases. Front pocket." Then we all kind of just stared at each other. Sydney at me, me at Dad, Dad at Sydney. Sydney waited for me to continue but since I didn't, she started to turn to get the shampoo and take her shower. But Dad stopped her, "Sydney, wait, I think you should stay for this." This suddenly felt so completely uncomfortable. Sydney came and leaned against the back of the couch, her arms crossed over her chest. "I was just about to talk to Aislin about our parents."
"Our parents?"
"Bill and Irina," I noted quietly, killing a chunk of egg with my fork. Die, fiend, die.
This just felt so awkward. I hope we never have sex talks, I think I'd die. I wondered why he wanted Sydney to stay. Well, yes, it was her mom after all. But he could have easily talked to me by himself. She looked sort of… Like she was just as curious as me. Maybe they hadn't talked about it together. That must have bee it. I wondered it they avoided it. (Later found out they indeed did.)
Anyway… "Yes," Dad continued. His tone was somewhat hostile. "Why didn't I tell you before? Because I try to forget it ever happened. And how does Sydney feel about it? I wouldn't know. I avoid the subject whenever it presents itself. It happened, it's over, and we're all fine, aren't we?"
He was almost scaring me. He sounded, like… Angry, sort of. I really wished I hadn't brought it up. I risked a glance at Sydney again. She stared at Dad, who was staring down into the table. "I'm sorry–" Sydney began.
"No! Sydney–" He stopped himself. He took a few deep breaths, wiped his hand down his face. "I don't want you apologizing for her. She may be your mother biologically, but that is all. You are not responsible for what happened to my dad, nor were you involved in any way. And you are nothing like the woman who was." I felt relieved that he continued calmly, his brief hostility gone. Then he looked at me quickly. "Oh, God, you don't hate Sydney, do you? Is that why you brought this up?"
"What? No!" I looked at Sydney. "No, no, no! I brought it up because, well, I don't know. It's kind of a big deal, and I know about it now. When Jack told me I just wanted to know how you felt, I guess."
"Wait, Jack told you?"
"Well, it's a long story."
Dad sighed. He looked at Sydney, who nodded. "My dad could only be identified by his dental records." It was worse than I thought. Horrible. Terrible. Atrocious, disgusting. I wanted him to be crying. He didn't.
"When I learned it was Irina– when I learned it was Sydney's mom –I was pissed off. And when I learned she was alive…" He didn't even finish the statement.
So Sydney continued. "I didn't know how to act around you."
"Me neither."
"You know I wanted to kill her just as badly as you did."
"I know." So forget me, this was for them. "I still don't think we can trust her." It got quiet again. I wasn't looking at either one of them, I don't know where they were looking. Then Dad said, "You okay, Aislin?"
I wasn't sure. "I think so. It's just," I thought for a moment, "so cruel."
"Yes," they both replied. "Syd, you go take your shower."
"Okay. We'll talk later?"
He nodded. I suddenly felt like just saying "I don't hate you" wasn't enough. So I got out of my chair and gave her a hug. It felt reassuring to me, anyway. She smiled at me then kissed Dad's cheek and left. So I stood next to Vaughn, and he looked at me. He looked, like, drained.
I had the sudden urge just to crawl in his lap, so I did. And I sat there.
After a bit he said, "I probably should have told you a long time ago."
"No, it's okay, I get why you didn't." A bit later. "I'm going to take a nap."
So now I'm "napping." Okay, I admit I tried for a while. But you know me, I just had to write this down. And now thinking about it, I'm glad Dad didn't tell me about his dad back in the safe house. I'd probably still hate Sydney. I would have chosen to see his anger for Irina and thought it was fine to hate Sydney like that. And it's clearly not, because Irina and Sydney are so different. I hope Syd and Dad's talk later goes all right. It should, now that everything's kind of out in the open. Hmm, that nap isn't sounding so bad. I think I'll try again.
2-23-03
11:24 AM
Ugh, I think I'm getting sick. I can't stop coughing, and I feel ache-y. It's just grown slightly worse through the morning, which of course is a great sign.
I went and grabbed the pen this morning just to see if it caught anything good (I set it back out in the living room yesterday). Nothing much. I guess Syd and Dad had their talk elsewhere. Today's their last day off and they went grocery shopping because, well, all the food we had left in this apartment we ate yesterday. I had to scrounge for breakfast. I miss my Honey Nut Cheerios.
11:29 AM
Great, now I'm sneezing. Sigh.
8:45 PM
I'm so tired, and I can't stop coughing. Sydney said I shouldn't go to school tomorrow, I definitely agree. I think she or Dad is calling me in to the office right now. And I'm going to bed. Before nine. Argh, I hate being sick.
2-24-03
10:14 AM
Ah, I slept until nine in the morning which was wonderful, except for the fact that I am so ache-y that I can't sit or lay or stand comfortably anywhere. I'm on the couch in the living room now watching some doctor show. I think it's ER.
10:16 AM
Sorry, coughing break. Wait.
10:17 AM
Had another one. I give up. No más writing. (Cough!)
1:02 PM
I fell asleep sometime during that ER show, and when I woke up I heard noises in the kitchen. And I thought: Oh my God, I'm getting kidnapped. So I turned as quietly as I could, which was really hard considering my chest was heaving because I really needed to cough, and I lifted my head over the back of the couch so only my eyes/forehead could be seen. And it was Dad in the kitchen.
So, first, I coughed like mad. Then I said hi to him and coughed some more. And he came by during his lunch to make me soup! Aw, I heart my daddy. He stayed for a bit whilst I ate it, mmm, perfect chicken noodle. It was so nice of him, he really didn't have too. I'm fully capable of souping myself.
But he did have to go back to work; the puppy dog face I gave him unfortunately didn't work, although he did hesitate for a second, hehe. And I finished my soup and now I'm surfing through those trashy soap operas. Maybe I'll go back to sleep. But alas no, my legs hurt so bad they won't hear of it. Advil, where art thou sweet Advil? Must… find…
6:31 PM
Could this suck any more? Yes, in fact, it could. I could have a stuffy nose. Fortunately I don't. Yet. Knock on wood. However, I feel no better than before, and my coughing may even be getting worse. And I'm not hungry. They are out there eating dinner, and I am in my room, staring blankly at nothing, wishing I felt better. Hate being sick. I guess I must go back to sleep. Where'd that Advil get to?
2-26-03
3:34 PM
I was sick yesterday too, but I told myself I wasn't going to write in my journal because I was only going to complain more. All I did was watch TV anyway. Dad couldn't come home during lunch, so I had to make my own soup (I got hungry again, yay!). But today I went to school. I don't feel sick anymore, but I still have a cough.
School sucked. I have TONS of make up work to do, plus tonight's homework. I'm going to be super confused in math, I mean, what the crap is this FOIL thing? I don't know what they're trying to do to me.
Kill me, I think. I'm a few chapters behind in a book we're reading in English. It's called The Giver. I should start it.
When I walked into social studies, Danny was like, "So Anya, when's the wedding?" Yeah, he calls me Anya, not because he can't remember my name, but because he's kind of weird like that. And, yeah, they aren't engaged yet, so no wedding. After being sick, I just rolled my eyes at him. Didn't have another response. Then our little table heard my story, how they aren't engaged, and how I got sick. Story of the week. Ha.
Ugh, I don't want to do my homework, but Dad said he and Syd were getting back late today. Have to find something for dinner, too. Sigh.
7:02 PM
Hm, I wonder why playing games in the internet is so addicting. I think I just sat here for like thirty minutes straight and played solitaire, and I could play for thirty minutes more had I not looked over and saw you, my darling journal, sitting here all by your lonesome.
Ah, I think I hear Syd and Dad coming in. I'll go talk to– Oh. Wait. Crap. I hear yelling. Yelling? That's his voice, no, her voice, no his, hers... Oh man, they're going at it in the living room. Crap crap crap!
What could they be fighting about? I hope it's not the Bill-Irina thing, that would be all my fault! I want to go out there so bad but I'm scared… Agh!
7:07 PM
Oh my God. I just heard the front door slam.
7:08 PM
s.
That's it, I have to go out and see.
7:15 PM
I think I might cry. I walked out there, and found Dad staring dumbstruck at the door. He was breathing all heavy from yelling. At her. She left. Oh God. He… He was starting to look angrier. I don't know if he noticed me. I got scared and went back in my room. I didn't close the door all the way, though. I left it open a crack. Then
Dad stormed through the hall and went into his room and slammed the door.
I have to know what that fight was about. And– oh no, the pen's in here, not in the living room. This sucks. Now I won't know for sure.
Why didn't I just go out there and listen to them? Maybe they would have stopped then, and Syd would never have left, and Dad wouldn't have slammed the door to his room. Maybe I shouldn't have opened my big mouth about his dad, then maybe they wouldn't have fought at all and we'd all still be here. Happy. Not scared to leave our rooms.
Should I go talk to him? I don't know. I'm scared, I don't know what to do. This is just all my fault. I have got to try to fix this. There, it's settled. I'm going to talk to Dad. Eeek.
7:17 PM
So I knocked on his door, but then I heard the shower running so I came back in here. Maybe I should call Sydney. Find out where she is. What happened. Maybe she's still mad. No. I should talk to Dad first. God, this… sucks! I need to lie down, think about this.
2-27-03
3:42 PM
When I woke up this morning, Sydney still wasn't here. Dad didn't say anything when we were eating breakfast. I didn't want to ask him…
He still seemed, I don't know, kind of irritated. I didn't tell anyone at school about their fight, like Jess or Kathleen. They'd make a big deal out of it, and it probably isn't a big deal, right? It's fine, Sydney will be back for dinner and everything will return to normal.
I hope.
A/n: Angsty, no? So, what were Syd and Vaughn fighting about? Stay tuned to find out! Please review!