SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY! Sorry for the wait for this chapter (basically I can't remember anything that has happened completely for the last 3 days so my summer is obviously going well.) so to make it up to you I have tried to cram a lot into this chapter. That could be good or bad...god knows.
Thank you so much for all of your reviews! I love all of you who are reading this and favoriting and alerting and reviewing :) You're all ridiculously lovely!
I DON'T OWN SKINS!
Enjoy :)
We've been walking home hand in hand. I don't know how to describe how I feel. I can't fucking concentrate for one, I mean I really am trying to listen to what Emily is telling me but I just can't focus on anything but the fact that my fingers are laced between hers.
This is all so new to me. I haven't had a proper relationship with anyone. Not that I'm saying that this is a relationship, or a potential relationship. Fuck I don't know what this is. I like her. She likes me. We've kissed twice, it was nice. I like being around her. Holding her hand right now has already caused my already uncoordinated body to become even more uncoordinated. If that is indeed possibly. I've nearly fallen over twice and I also have now walked into a lamp post. She giggled a bit, but I think she can tell that something is bothering me. She can read me like a fucking book for fucks sake.
All the way to my house while she's been talking to me, I feel her eyes practically invading my thoughts. She knows I'm not listening at all, and she wants to know why. Of course she wants to know why. She can read me but I can also read her just as well, I've spent long enough watching her to notice small things that she does when she's obviously worrying. The way she's been looking at me shows so much frustration yet still showing fondness towards me. She suddenly stops walking, nearly removing my arm from my shoulder socket. Fucking hell she's like fucking mighty mouse.
"Naomi?" Fucks sake what is wrong with me? I don't understand why I get like this sometimes, I just become this complete bitch. It's like last time for fucks sake. I told her I didn't need her and now, again, I'm acting like I don't need her.
"Emily."
"Are you okay?"
"Peachy."
"Fine, well we're at your house, well we're close so I should go. Bye."
"Emily wait. I'm sorry. I just...I don't know how to 'be' with you now." I lower my head, not wanting to meet her eyes. I have no fucking clue what they will show but I could take a wild guess, which would be hurt. Instead I just hear a laugh. What the fuck?
"Naomi, just be yourself, that's why I like you, you don't give a shit from what I've noticed. And anyway I'm not asking you to be my girlfriend or anything, we're just close. We'll just see where it leads okay?"
"Okay."
"Okay?"
"Okay!"
"So I'll see you bright and early tomorrow."
"Wait. What is actually happening tomorrow?"
"Fuck me, I knew you weren't listening. We're going on a trip for the rest of the week with the children. Staying at some little river-side cabin shit. Honestly I wasn't listening to your mum either. You're very distracting, do you know that?"
"How was I distracting you?"
"Shut up, you know you were. Now I will see you bright and early miss Campbell."
"Okay."
It's really quite pathetic how I watched her walk down the path. I didn't want her to go, well not yet anyway. Not without...well fuck it I want to kiss her again.
"Wait, Emily!"
Within a heart beat she's back in front of me. She's adorable.
"Yes?" A sly smile graces her lips. She knows doesn't she?
For the third time today our lips meet. Again the only way to describe it is that it's perfect. This time Emily moves her hands around my neck and pulls me closer to her. She may think she acts all cool, calm and collected. But she is as bad as me. I'm sure she has some kind of internal monologue going on right now. My own hands are firmly fixed on her hips, slowly moving from side to side over some exposed skin of her stomach. I like her stomach. It really is quite lovely from what I have seen of it.
"Now Naomi I really should go."
"Fine." What? I can't help being a childish person. I don't want her to go, she knows that I don't want her to go so why try hiding it. And also my childish behavior always receives a few giggles from Emily. "Text me? Just so I know that you get home okay."
"Okay, just so you know that I get home okay."
And for the second time I just watch her walk away. She really is gorgeous.
Once she was gone, honestly, I felt myself deflate completely. I want her near me all the time. I want to be able to see her. After removing all of my clothes apart from my under wear I still hadn't got a text from Emily. It had only been 15 minutes but I'm impatient.
20 minutes: Still no text.
30 minutes: Still nothing.
1 hour: Fucking finally!
Emily: Sorry for not texting sooner, I got ambushed by my mum. She wanted to know where I had been all the time after the holiday club. But anyway as requested I am texting to let you know that I'm home, no need to worry about me now ;) sleep well Naomi, I'll see you bright an early. xxxx
Bless her. She is probably the most adorable person I know. And also the only person I know that would actually bother texting me just to let me know that they are home.
Naomi: Thanks for letting me know, wouldn't want you disappearing with some handsome stranger now would we? :P Night Ems. xxx
I don't know when I became this version of Naomi. The Naomi that needs people. The Naomi that needs one person in particular. It happened between being a bitch about this girl who I didn't know who was late for work to seeing this sweet little red head pop out of the neck of a t-shirt. It was that small moment that changed everything in my head. Now she is the only person I seem to be able to think about. She plagues every thought in my head. I constantly want to be near her. When I'm not I feel like complete shit. What the fuck is all of 'this'. Just seeing the shade of red that her hair is puts a smile on my face.
"NAOMI FOR FUCKS SAKE WAKE THE FUCK UP WE NEED TO GO IN 10 MINUTES!"
How I love waking up to the sound of my mothers booming voice. Shit. I need to get ready. It's a good thing that I am known for my speedy showers no matter how tired I am, and today I am exceptionally sleepy. All last night I had just thought about Emily...Emily, Emily, Emily.
So I had my shower within two minutes, which is probably a new record for me. Clothes had been packed for this trip we're all going on and I had even found time to add the smallest bit of make up to my tired looking face. In the car I felt sick. I'm spending 3 days at some holiday camp shit, constantly surrounded by people, no privacy what-so-fucking-ever. Fucks sake this is going to be brilliant.
Outside the mini bus all of the young leaders had been gathered together so we can discuss room arrangements. I'd already seen Emily. She looked adorable in her big hoodie (probably for sleeping in on the coach) It completely drowned her. She threw me one of her beautiful, slightly embarrassed smiles.
"So all of you will be sleeping in two person rooms." Emily and I turn to faces each other simultaneously, this doesn't go unnoticed by Effy who just gives me a cheeky smile. "Katie and Freddie, you're together." So Emily's not with Katie, this is good. "Naomi, you are with Cook."
"Nice one Ginakins." I'm drowned in the biggest bear hug ever. I am happy, sort of. I mean I love Cook, he's my best friend, other than JJ. But I was honestly hoping to be with Emily. Fuck that's pathetic. This is why needing someone hurts so much. It's why I've tried to avoid it. You just get disappointment. I know this is a small thing to be angry about but not being near Emily is the worse thing for me right now.
Once I've been released from Cook's death grip I turn to Emily. She's not looking at me, eyes glued again to the floor. I know she's disappointed.
"And Effy you're with Emily. And JJ you're going to be on your own as requested."
"Thank you Gina."
So everyone seems so fucking happy. JJ gets to have his privacy cos he's a complete nut case, Freddie gets to stay with his girlfriend and Effy gets to stay in the same room as the girl who is always on my mind. And of course I get to stay with my best friend. How fucking wonderful. As much as I love Cook this is just going to be awkward. For him being my best friend we don't really speak much anymore but he always knows when something is on my mind and at the minute there is definitely something on my mind. Well make that someone.
So all of us young leaders are going down to the river place together in a mini bus along with my mum and the other adult leaders. The kids are being taken down by there parents and such, something to do with child protection. Everyone else is on the bus, making themselves comfortable apart from me. I need a fag and just a chance to try to sort my head out and calm myself down a bit.
"Naomi." Suddenly I am instantly calmed from her voice. "There is a seat on that bus next to me that has your name on it." Oh fuck it. I may be confused and feel quite shitty but you know what. I like her. I want to spend time with her. So fuck it. Time to take a leap Campbell. Right off of a fucking cliff, into a lake of Emily Fitch. Fucking hell that's an odd metaphor.
I grin at her, cos honestly I'm happy. Of course I want to sit with her. If I can't share a room with her I will indeed sit next to her on the bus.
An hour into the bus journey and everyone is actually knocked out completely. Katie is all over Freds, they basically took up the whole back seat. Effy is soundly asleep in a corner, as is JJ and Cook. And I have a really cute Emily snuggled up next to me. I can't sleep. I can't even bare to shut my eyes and not be able to see the sleeping red head. I've never seen her just sleep. She looks so peaceful but she doesn't half riggle. Fucking hell she can't just lie still and it just makes her hair fall in her face. It is sweet though. I can't help but slowly graze her forehead with my hand while pushing some of her hair behind her ear.
"Naoms." Her sleep laced voice surprises me.
"Sorry Em, I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep."
"No wait Naomi." She pushes herself up slowly, her hair falling over her face, but she pushes it out of the way with her balled up hands. Once she's steadied herself she puts her hands lightly on each of my cheeks and kisses me so softly that I barely feel it. I rest my forehead against hers and we just stay like that for a while.
"Naomi. Can I ask you something." I nod against her forehead.
"What are we doing Naomi?"
"We're sitting on a bus Em."
"You know what I mean Naomi."
"I know."
Of course I know what she means. But I don't know what to do. I don't know what we are. I have no fucking clue what we are doing? I like her. I mean for fucks sake I watch her sleep and think she's fucking adorable and the most beautiful person I've ever seen in my life. I have well and truly fallen for Emily Fitch.
"So what is this Naomi?"
Now! Tell her! Fucking tell her! Be brave! Just fucking do it! NOW NAOMI CAMPBELL!
"I've fallen for you."
Thanks for reading. Again I will try my best to update quickly. Please try to find the time to review this story and let me know what you think of it so far :).
Little side not: I'm going to be going away for a few days next week so I'll try to update before then...
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