Oh i am good to you lot. I have spent all day writing this up so I was able to update tonight. Well this morning now. I hope you like this chapter. It's a bit iffy and that but I hope you enjoy it none the less. I wanted to get the sad stuff for Naomi out of the way as soon as I could really so there can be more good times :).
Thanks for all of your reviews that I got for the last chapter. I just want to mention 'skinsstar7' in particular :P your review make me laugh. I love all of my reviews I really do. And those who have reviewed like EVERY chapter...THANK YOU *BIG HUGS* :')
Final thanks...thankyou to everyone in general that is reading and review and favoriting and alerting. I only keep writing this because of your support and what not. (And because I do enjoy this a little bit too).
I don't own skins!
ENJOY :D
It's fucking 2 in the fucking morning and I have given up on sleeping completely. It was partly because I kept falling out of the fucking bed I was in. I'm going to have some nice bruises, trust me. I also couldn't sleep because of Cook snoring like a fucking whale. I don't know how a whale snores but I honestly think it would sound like Cook. But the main reason for my lack of sleep was the mighty mouse herself. Emily Fitch. I couldn't shut my eyes without seeing those beautiful brown eyes staring back at me. Even when I nearly drifted off into some kind of sleep all I could hear, ringing in my ears was her voice. When the fuck did I become such a fucking cliché. I decided to go out. I can't lie in my bed any longer it's doing my fucking head in. I put on my pig t-shirt that Emily wore only a few days ago and a pair of trackies along with a zipped jacket and my vans. I went back to where I had sat with Cook earlier and lit up a cigarette. I managed to sneak my fags into my pocket before I left home. I was told not to bring them by my mum but she's fucked me off, so fuck it.
I don't know how long I've just been sitting out here, chain smoking like a pro. I haven't noticed the sun rise, or the birds start to sing. I've been off in my own little world all of this time. Thinking about Emily, Cook, my family and myself. For so long I've been pushing people away from me, thinking that if I'm alone I'm going to be so much safer. No-one can hurt you when you're alone. No-one can let you down. No-one can leave you. I adopted this idea quite recently. Not after my dad left, that didn't get to me. I was young. I didn't know him. He's means nothing to me.
I learnt this behavior about 2 years ago. My families always been small and I was so attached to my grandmother. She really loved me and I really loved her. We used to go for walks and just talk about any old shit. She would repeatedly bring me biscuits to me, thinking I needed to put on a bit of weight bless her. She was the only person that shared my hate for the communal living shit. She would always say to me that my mum's a fucking cow who is a nutter and that a teenaged needs to live with peace and quiet, not the fucking living embodiment of Jesus Christ. I always thought that she would never leave me, but 2 years ago she died with no fucking warning. She left me alone. That's when I stopped fucking trusting people. She even said to me "I'll see you soon love." But she fucking left me didn't she. I didn't see her soon apart from in a fucking coffin. I hate that I get angry about this. I hate that I can't even remember her and have a huge smile on my face. Of course now a few stray tears are falling down my cheeks.
"Fucks sake Campbell, what are you doing?"
"Naomi?"
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
"Naomi." I turn around to meet a beautiful little Emily Fitch in running gear? Emily goes running? She has a huge smile on her face but it starts to fade away completely from her face to just leave a worried expression and only concern in her eyes. I quickly move my view back to the floor and wipe the remaining tears away from my face hoping they suddenly just disappear. Emily has now moved to sitting right next to me with her eyes fixed on me with a still concerned expression on it from what I can see in my peripheral vision. Her hand moves up to my face and turns it to face her. I keep my eyes on the floor. I know she's worried and wants to know what's going on. But I can't.
"Naomi?" I still keep my eyes fixed on the floor, her voice sounds like it's about to crack itself. She's really fucking worried about me.
"Naomi. You can talk to me you know, or at least look at me."
"Emily, can we just sit please." For the first time in my life I don't recognise my voice. I'm pleading with someone to just sit with me. I don't know what the fuck is going on. I'm so fucking lost.
For the second time in the last 24 hours I'm sitting and leaning on someone else. My head is leaning in the crook of Emily's neck and she's running her hand along my lower back. Her other hand is leaning on her knee and I sit playing with her fingers, just running my own fingers along them and picking them up and setting them back down again.
"Naomi, do you want to talk?"
"Not about why I feel like shit particularly."
"Alright, well come on then you miserable shit." I turn to her and she's just looking at me with a cheeky grin glued to her face. She stands up and again offers me her hand, which I gladly take.
"Where are we going?"
"Well, as you feel like shit and I just missed seeing you for all of this long period of time, that hasn't even been a day I think we should go for a walk with our good friend." Who the fuck is she on about? "Vodka darlin'. Come on."
We are now sitting in a more secluded area of the forest with a bottle of Vodka between us. Emily sneaked it into her bag while packing, at least I'm not the only one who can be sneaky. Now I would never say that I'm a lightweight but vodka gets me fucked after the smallest amount. We're just sitting about giggling our heads of. I know we actually have to go and look after children quite soon, but I have the slight suspicion that it's swimming today, and we don't have to do that. So we can get as fucked up as we like because we will have time to sober up.
"So Emily, my darling. Why the fuck were you running through the forest this morning?"
"You know it takes a lot of work to keep this body looking the way it does baby-cakes."
Honestly her body is fucking amazing! Well from what I have seen of it, which is mainly her stomach and her stomach really is lovely, with it's nicely toned qualities and it's perfectly co ordinated stomach flips that I can only imagine are actually coordinated. Unlike mine of course, which are really uncoordinated.
"What are you thinking about Naoms?"
"Having uncoordinated stomach flips." She raises her eyebrow looking really confused about what I'm going on about. I thought it made perfect sense. It is obvious that stomach flips are what all sane people talk about. "You know when your stomach like does flips. It happened when you grabbed my hand once I think, and generally when I'm with you. And why the fuck am I telling you about my uncoordinated stomach flips that are caused because of you."
"Are you done."
I think for a bit, checking if there is anything else that I could say which could actually embarrass me a bit more. "Nope." I smile smugly "I'm done now."
She laughs gently. She looks beautiful when she laughs. Her nose wrinkles up a bit and it really is the sweetest thing I've ever seen.
"So Emily, you were missing me eh?"
She dithers...a lot. Fucking hell. She looks so uncomfortable now. Bless her heart.
"Yeah, well. Effy creeps me out. I'd rather be spending time with someone who can manage making conversation without like trying to work out everything I'm fucking thinking about."
"It's okay to miss me Em, I mean I am amazing company really. One may say I'm the best company you're ever going to have."
"Could you be anymore up yourself?"
"You know that it's one of the things you love about me..." My eyes widen completely, as do Emily's. I just said 'love'. I've never said that about anyone else apart from family members. Shit. Shit. Shit. I've suddenly sobered up completely!
Love.
Love.
Love.
Suddenly Emily's lips are planted onto mine. Her hands are tracing the lines of my jaw and then round to the back of my neck, pulling me father into the kiss. I slowly feel myself being pulled over on top of Emily. With one leg on either side of Emily she pulls me down to her lips again. It's so fucking passionate. My hands are fixed on her waist and are running up her torso and along her hips. Her body is so fucking toned. I had never realised how much she must work on it for it to look and feel this good.
"Emily. Em. Em?" I mumble against her lips and she pulls back and looks me in the eyes. Fuck she is beautiful. For the first time today I move my hands away from her torso and place them lightly over her lips. I move my head down to her forehead, slightly breathless. I can feel her warm air agains my own lips. As soon as this kiss started I move off of her and sit back down where I was. She also moves back to where she originally was. We sit in silence. Emily laces our fingers together and I just look down and can't help but smile.
"Cook told me something earlier." I break the silence and turn to Emily. She looks confused so I carry on.
"He told me that love fucks you up...but it's the best feeling in the world. And I get that, cos I don't know what I'm feeling, but my head is seriously fucked up right now. I don't know what's going on, but when I'm with you all of these thoughts go away completely. I feel like such a good person, and that really is the best feeling. But the last time I felt that was two years ago, and that feeling ruined my life." I'm practically fucking sobbing now and Emily is just occasionally pushing the tears away lightly. "I don't want my life to be ruined again Em. I just want to be happy, with you." For a final time Emily pushes the tears away and looks right into my eyes, holding my head in place.
"Naomi. Come on, you need to sleep." Emily helps me up and clasps my hand inside hers, never letting it go as we walk back to my room. She knocks on the door and Cook let's us in and gives Emily a look that screams worry.
"You alright with her Emily?"
"Yeah, can you just pull her duvet back for me? She needs to sleep."
"Yeah cause I can babe."
"Don't call her babe Cook." This is the first few words I've said since I cried my eyes out. My voice sounds unfamiliar, like it doesn't belong to me.
"Oh yes Naomi, you may feel like shit but you're always able to put me right." Cook grins at me and I can't help but smile back, he's good at cheering me up, always has been.
Emily drags me by my hand over to my bed. "Right, you have a rest. I'll tell Gina you're ill or something."
"Emily I'm fine really."
"Do as you're told Naomi." She's not being harsh. Quite the contrary. Her beautiful cheeky grin is shining towards me.
"Fine." She giggles at me, I've always known that my childish behavior amuses her, that's why I do it.
Emily places a final light kiss on my forehead before she leaves my room.
"Naomi man, you look like shit and you still get a girl like Emilio. How is that?"
"Fuck off Cook."
"So have you finally realised what I was trying to tell you earlier?"
"Yes."
"Say it then."
"I love her."
Love really does fuck you up.
I hope you liked this chapter. It was intense to write it if i'm honest. Oh well.
I'm off tomorrow. Well later today as it is quite early right now. I wont be updating till at least wednesday/thursday.
Let me know what you think of this chapter
REVIEW PLEASE.
Lots of love withlegslikethat xxxxx