Disclaimer: Still don't own anything… *cry*
Remus' POV
The doorknob refused to budge yet again after another attempted spell, and my frustration got the better of me, "Damn the bloody bastard who thinks this is funny!"
A good 10 minutes had passed while I threw every kind of unlocking, destruction, and melting spell I knew at that door. Every one was ineffective, and I finally had to admit defeat. Whoever had cast this spell knew what they were doing, and we weren't going to get out of this room until that person deemed it fit that we should.
"So I take it we're stuck?"
I turned to look at the other occupant of this dusty old room, but couldn't see much of Sirius beyond the barest outline of his shape.
A huff, a sigh, then reluctant acceptance. "Yes. We're stuck."
"Then I guess we'll just have to make the best of it, won't we?" I could hear the grin in his voice, but couldn't see it.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
Sirius said loftily, "There's no reason we can't still get some sleep, is there? It's not like this situation is preventing us from what we usually do. We can still talk and plot and sleep, like always. Oh, but I guess you can't study like you do all the time."
"Damn," I muttered as that realization hit me.
Sirius let out a peal of laughter at my distress, "What's got you so bloody worked up about studying anyway?"
I stared in his general direction for a moment, and then said, "Oh, you know, tests. In particular the 3 we have next week."
Silence from Sirius for another long moment, then a reiteration of my earlier sentiment.
"Damn."
"Don't tell me you forgot," I said unbelievingly. Then a second consideration revealed that it was entirely believable because this was Sirius we were talking about here. "Padfoot, you can't be serious, these are important tests!"
"I'm always Sirius," he stated with a small snicker.
The corners of my mouth unfailingly rose at the clever (though much over-used) play on words Sirius was so fond of. I couldn't hold in the chuckle that came up my throat and soon I was outright laughing at the stupid joke. But it felt so good to just let go and laugh, to let myself out of the box I had made myself, so I just dropped onto my bum and guffawed some more.
I don't know when Sirius had joined me, but there he was, I could sense him rolling on the floor beside me and hear him cracking himself up.
The chortles faded away after a bit, and we were left lying on the dusty floor next to each other. For the first time in ages I didn't feel ashamed to be this close to Sirius. I felt like I belonged there, on the floor next to him, both of us covered in filth with tear-streaks through the grime on our face from laughing so hard. But I still had enough sense to know I could owe a large part of this happy feeling to the darkness that blanketed and surrounded us, wrapping me in a cocoon of anonymity and hiding my deepest emotions from the chance of discovery by the one person I wanted least to find them.
Sirius broke the comfortable silence that had settled over us, "Everything's always funnier in the dark."
"What am I ever going to do with you Padfoot?" I mused.
"What would you ever do without me, Moony?" He countered jokingly.
I chuckle once, then let the silence drop again for a moment.
"But I guess if I had to be stuck in here with anyone for a whole night, I'm glad it's you," I admit.
"Do you really mean that?" asked Sirius.
"Of course, you're my best mate." I thought he knew that.
His slight hesitation didn't escape my notice, but he pushed on. "Then why have you been avoiding me lately?"
"W-what?" I sputter. Could it really have been that obvious? Is it possible he suspects…? "I haven't been avoiding you." Even I wouldn't believe that.
"Moony. If I so much as look at you, you disappear for the rest of the day."
"Well, I… Um…" I couldn't exactly argue with him. Even exaggerated it was true enough.
Sirius plunged forward, in spite of my obvious discomfort with this topic. Or maybe it was because of it, it's a signal for something underlying it. "Something has been bothering you, I can tell. Did I do something wrong?"
"No! No, you haven't done anything wrong." How could he think that? This is all my fault, because I can't control my emotions. Above all Sirius should know that.
"Then please," He sounded almost desperate, "please tell me what's bothering you."
Should I tell him? Spill everything I have been thinking about and dreaming about and yearning for, boiled down to a few short words, I love him and wish that he would love me back? Just blurt it out and hope he doesn't laugh in my face?
Who am I kidding. There's no other way it could end. This concern he is showing me is nothing but the natural care for a friend. Nothing more or less. Sirius has always been loose with the ladies and carefree in everything he does. He never lets what other people think about him to affect how he views himself or how he chooses to live his life. He's overcome amazing struggles, ridding himself of his horrid family and standing up for what's right and just. But the most wonderful thing, the most beautiful thing anyone has ever done for me he did along with both James and Peter. They joined me, as close as they could get, in my monthly descent into Hell.
It's disgustingly selfish of me, but I can't risk losing him, losing any of them. I can't make myself say the words that would drive him away. Those same words he has the right to hear.
One day these feelings will force their way out. I can feel them rising each day, pushing up my throat, closer to spilling out my mouth.
But I choose later rather than sooner.
"I- I can't. I'm sorry, but I'm just not ready to tell anyone yet." It scalded my mouth to say, to cheat him like this, even though I speak the truth.
"Oh… okay." He's so trusting of me, it makes my heart hurt. "But you know you can always tell me anything, right? Even if it's just to shove off."
"Yes, I know, Padfoot."
"Good."
Sirius' POV
A weak shaft of sunlight shot through the window on the far wall, straight into my eyes. My eyelids tried to stay closed as my heavy limbs attempted to convince me to stay put, but I forced myself to move in spite of the stiffness in my joints. I guess that comes with sleeping on the floor.
Well, not technically sleeping on the floor. Sometime last night, after Remus and I had been locked in this abandoned classroom by a particularly clever spell from James, we ended up falling asleep in the dark while sitting against the wall next to each other.
I looked over at my fellow captive, now able to see him after who knows how long of talking while unable to. Remus had slumped over to rest his head on my shoulder, and I was struck by how unbelievably vulnerable he was. He always had walls up and let them down for nearly no one. Only a few times had I been able to see the true, exposed Remus, and never during school. While asleep all the premature lines in his face from the stress and anxiety went away, and he looked as young as he truly was, an inexperienced 16 year-old. The new sunlight lit his face with a soft glow, highlighting the few ridged scars crossing his otherwise perfect skin. I knew Remus hated his scars, felt they marked him as a dangerous werewolf and served as a constant reminder to him to keep control. But to me they weren't a flaw, they were simply part of him, just as his straight nose and deep brown eyes flecked with gold were. And on a more superficial note, I thought they made him look damn sexy.
I eased myself out from under him, supporting him until I gently rested him so he was lying sideways on the ground. For a few minutes I simply sat on my heels and gazed at Remus, committing every detail to memory. His ashy brown hair, perfect in its degree of waviness, his abnormally long eyelashes that worked well with him where it would look unnatural with anyone else, his soft, curved, and slightly pink lips that looked completely kissable.
Without thinking I leaned in close to him, closer, until my lips were just an inch from his. His scent was intoxicating, his face so near mine. Then I caught myself, and leaned back again. I can't force anything on him, not even a kiss he wouldn't remember. That would just be taking advantage of him. Last night I vowed I would move at his pace, when he is so troubled by something he can't even tell me. I couldn't live with myself if I just blundered forward without considering him when I claim to love him.
Because I do love him. And because I love him, I will wait until he's ready to accept or deny my affections. I can't make him decide when he's not prepared to choose in a way that truly reflects his desires. However long that takes, it doesn't matter. But that doesn't mean I can't help him a bit.
It nearly killed me to break the serenity of the moment, but I eventually had to shake Remus awake so we could sneak up to the dormitory before everyone woke up. Remus was adorable in his grogginess, always rubbing his eyes and yawning, but soon was alert and back to his old, calculating self.
Sure enough, when I tried the doorknob it opened easily, and I figured James had used a complicated timed locking spell and then went up to bed while we had to sleep on the floor. Remus was disgruntled that the perpetrator had outwitted him, and I was sure he would be mortified if he found out that mastermind was actually dimwitted James.
Darting across the hallway and leaping through the portrait hole as soon as the Fat Lady creaked open, we managed to hightail it up to our room without being seen by anyone. A quick glance at the two occupied beds assured us we were the only ones awake. Making as little noise as possible (and me trying as hard as I could not to peek) we undressed and pulled on our pajamas before crawling into our respective beds. I don't know about Remus, but I was asleep just as soon as my aching head hit my soft, welcoming pillow.
I was shaken awake only an hour later, to my extreme annoyance.
"Sirius! Sirius, wake up!" James hissed into my ear.
I shoved him away, "I'm awake, god dammit! What do you want? Don't you know it's Saturday? I can sleep in as long as I want!"
"Shh! You'll wake up Remus," He glance over me to the bed next to mine, belonging to a certain werewolf who was, thankfully, still asleep.
At the mention of Remus' name my irritation lessened slightly and I lowered my voice, "So what's so urgent you need to wake me up at… at 8am on Saturday?"
"Did you do it?" He looked at me like I should know what he's talking abo- Oh!
"Ah… No… I didn't," I whispered sheepishly.
"Padfoot! You mean I did all that prep work for nothing? I thought you were going to get him to confess to you!"
"Things are different now, I realized I can't force him if he's not ready. I'm going to go at his pace, even if it's ridiculously slow."
James looked at me funny, then said, "You really love him don't you?"
"Of course, Prongs."
"Good. I couldn't help you if you didn't."
A/N – SOOOO SORRY for leaving you guys hanging so long, I'm forever indebted to those of you who still stick with me! Speaking of, trillions of thanks to those of you who reviewed since the first chapter, TimeAndRhythmDoesIndeedSleep, i love JPLE and FRED DDD, WishFlower, and verecundus who reviewed twice! I'll try to get the next chapter up soon, I just have to think of what's going to happen next. Oh yeah! Happy holidays to everyone, whatever religion and whatever holidays you are celebrating :)