UPDATE! :) WELL WELL WELL...the feedback from the last few chapters has been EPIC! seriously!
I just want to say skinsstar7...LOL! I actually love you and your long reviews! I actually laughed, but thankyou seriously, to everyone that has been reviewing, your reviews are really helpful and motivational. Yes I'm using big words now :P
Obviously Vodka and cake is my thing. I wasn't under the influence of it though while writing this chapter, just a bit of a hangover. Good times.
So here we are, this is a bit like a 2 part chapter really and I'm introducing another side to Naomi, but we're not going depressing, that's just upsetting.
I DON'T OWN SKINS.
ENJOY!
I'd woken up with Emily next to me before, but this was different. I woke up, not worrying about what position we were lying in. I wasn't worrying about the implications of being in the same bed as her. All of my previous worries had completely left my head, all that was left was Emily and me. A couple. A pair. A bunch of bananas. Well, a bunch of two bananas. This feels right. This is how everything is meant to be. Waking up, feeling the warmth radiating from Emily's sleeping body is the best thing to wake up to. I feel safe, even though I'm now at my most vulnerable. Emily makes me feel safe. Secure. I don't understand how someone who I've only known for a few days can turn my life upside down, rearrange the aspects of my life that have fucked me up and then shown me this beautiful new way of looking at life. It's like an episode of fucking changing rooms. Yes I used to watch changing rooms. But you start with this mess of a house, everything's fucked up and then over the course of a few days the vile surroundings are changed into something habitable. It's fucking brilliant.
At some point our hands must how found each other as now my fingers are laced between hers and don't look like they are going to disconnect out of their own choice. I can feel Emily breathing steadily. I can hear her heart beat keeping a steady rhythm and I can still see the letters 'N.C' sewn into the hoodie, my hoodie, even in the dim light that has found it's way through the curtains. I trace the letters repeatedly. I can't believe I didn't notice that this was my hoodie before. Cook was right, I really am quite stupid. It's obviously my hoodie. I've seen it many times, it just sort of hangs out on my floor, having a party with all of the other articles of clothing. Occasionally the discarded stationary joins in. Fucking hell, I think about the inanimate objects in my room as if they have personalities. I really am losing it.
I turn over to grab my phone which has somehow made it's way onto the floor by the bed. Now this is going to be quite a challenge. I need to get my phone, to check the time without waking Emily or letting go of her hand. In a nut shell this is an impossible task. I try to be as smooth as possible, slowly shifting my way over to the side of the bed, still connected to Emily in quite an awkward position, she hasn't stirred though, so I'm doing well. I reach blindly with my free hand and hit the floor searching for my phone and failing. I reach out a bit more, it's either under the bed or too far away that my arm just cannot reach it. I reach a tiny bit more and slightly brush something. My fucking phone. Now I just need to actually get it. I shuffle a bit more slightly and go for a final swing of my arm to get my phone. My arm is about to reach the phone when the bed suddenly disappears from underneath me. Well it doesn't disappear, I just shuffled a bit too far and have now landed on the floor, also in the process of falling I pulled Emily along with me. Our hands really did not want to disconnect.
"FUCKING, CUNTING BASTARD!" I couldn't help shouting, probably right in Emily's ear as she has landed right on top of me, but that fucking hurt. Emily's eyes quickly snap open upon hearing my screams of pain but it takes her quite a while to properly wake up and adjust to this new found position she's in. Once she's become acclimatized to the low altitude on the floor a small smirk graces her lips.
"Naoms, I know we're together now but really? Pulling me off the bed and on top of you is not your smoothest move." Her small smirk grows into a full grown cheeky grin. God she is beautiful. I panicked though, I didn't mean to pull her on top of me, it was nothing like that. This was a purely innocent accident that happens to have some positive consequences, such as Emily lying on top of me. Fucking hell I'm like some kind of sex pest.
"No...I wasn't...I was just, well I maybe...I fell of the bed, and you sort of just came with me. I was trying to make sure you didn't wake up cos really you are quite adorable when you sleep." I can't help but send her a shy smile, because really this is an embarrassing situation we're in, and my uncoordinated self again manages to make me look like a fool. First hitting my own head with either the floor or my own arm because of a parachute and now falling off of my bed when really I was only trying to get my phone.
"Well you are also adorable when you're clumsy and falling off of beds and bringing your girlfriend tumbling to the floor also." My embarrassed smile changes to just a genuinely content expression. Hearing her say girlfriend is like beautiful music to my ears. I lean up on my elbows so I'm closer to Emily and press a light, yet meaningful kiss on her smiling lips. I pull away slightly, reluctantly yet with a smile on my face, I really should get back to the task at hand though.
"Anyway, back to what I was supposed to be doing." I stretch my arm out, searching for my phone, blindly again, it would be easier to actually look to my side to find my phone easily but I can't bare to actually break eye contact with my girl. If I could I would actually spend all of my time just looking into her eyes. They were one of the first things I noticed about her and they still are one of her most captivating features. My attention is only drawn away from Emily when I realise I have finally gotten hold of my phone. "Aha! Here we are." While looking at my phone, trying to focus my tired eyes on the time that is, for some reason, ridiculously small right now, I catch Emily smirking at me in the corner of my eye. I must have my concentrating face on right now, which is actually quite amusing. "Shit. It's 10 o'clock, aren't we supposed to be down for breakfast now?"
"Oh shit, yes we are. Come on Miss Campbell." Emily is up on her feet within a second and my hand is captured in her's even quicker. She drags me over to the door. That is until I slam the breaks on this crazy love train that is Emily and me. She turns around looking adorably confused. I look at her, raising my eyebrow, trying to indicate at the reason for why I stopped moving but she doesn't seem to be understanding what I'm getting at.
"Emily, we sort of need to change our clothes...we're wearing t-shirts and underwear and you get the added bonus of my hoodie. I don't think my mum would be very pleased to see both of us strolling about in t-shirts and our underwear do you?" I smirk at her as she processes what I've just said. She can be really quite slow sometimes. It finally dawns on her that we are wearing next to nothing, her eyes snap to mine, showing that she understands what I'm talking about. Her revelation face is really quite adorable, it's basically a big grin, with her eyes wide open.
"Oh shit, yeah."
We made ourselves presentable and made our way down to breakfast, slightly later than intended. Both me and Emily 'de-coupled' as we liked to put it once we made it out of the doors, for now anyway. If everyone saw being all coupled up and that all at once things may become messy.
Walking outside to where everyone was I couldn't help myself but to rest my hand very lightly and inconspicuously on the small of Emily's back, no one seemed to notice apart from Cook and Effy, but they already know what's going on. Both Cook and Effy sent us some amused and knowing looks and then continued to eat their breakfast. I hate how those two seem to know everything. Fucking know-it-alls. Before making it to the center of the campsite where everyone is congregated Emily leans up and places a light kiss on my cheek before bouncing off to meet our little group of children. I watch her with a smile permanently fixed to my face. She's such a child herself. It's adorable. The only person that could ruin this moment for me would be my mum. We are not on good terms at the minute and she knows it as well as I do, so of course she would have to come over to me at this very moment and be her nosey self.
"I'm glad you and Emily are getting on."
"What?"
"You and Emily. Before she got here she was very quiet, you know, she was very unsure of herself but you've really brought her out of her shell."
"That's great mum." I can't help the sarcasm that comes out of my mouth. I am in no mood to have any kind of pleasant conversation with my mum today.
"Are you going to be in a piss with me all day?"
"Are you going to carry on being a complete fucking cow?" Oh and the sarcasm just continues.
"No."
"Then I have no reason to be in a piss with you." I smile at my mum and she smiles back like nothing has happened. This is what it's like with us. We can have a fight where we nearly throttle each other but that will be over within hours. We both just need to time to cool off. That's a good thing about having a similar mentality to my mum. We both know when each other needs space. We are a functional family.
"By the way dear, today's swimming day." My eyes instantly widen. Shit!
"What?" I spit this at my mum. She should fucking know better.
"You don't have to swim don't worry, it's for the children, you can just supervise outside the water."
"Okay. Great. Fucking marvelous!" I don't want to speak to my mum anymore. I don't want to listen to her shit. I walk over to where Cook is sitting and place myself next to him, keeping my eyes fixed on my hands that are sitting in my lap. My face void of all emotion.
"So I'm guessing Gina just told you that today is swimming day." I nod, my eyes still glued to my hands. Cook just places his arm over my shoulder and pulls me into his protective arms. I sit like that for a bit. Completely stiff. I'm unable to relax. I know it's pathetic, being scared of water, of drowning, but I can't help being scared. Somethings just stay with you, no matter how hard you try to forget about them.
I hadn't seen Emily for most of today, if I did it was from afar. She was very busy keeping the children occupied while I just sat around doing bugger all. I think Cook had told her that I was in a bit of a mood so I shouldn't be approached or I may bite, which wouldn't be that bad for Emily really. Fucks sake...sex pest!
"Right everyone, pay attention! Do we all have our swimming kit on?" A chorus of "yes's" follow Gina's question. "Okay good, shall we be off then? To the river everyone!" All of the children rush at once towards the river bank where 'swimming day' will be taking place. I stay a fair distance away, sitting up against a tree trunk, just watching everyone enjoy themselves. The last time I set foot in any kind of substantial water was 10 years ago when I was 9. Never again since then. I watch the children being so carefree and I envy them so much. I watch my friends Effy, Cook, Freddie, JJ and even Katie enjoying themselves but someones missing. The one girl who I have been wanting to just spend time with since this morning. Emily. That's when I see her emerge from the main hall wearing her bikini, a pair of short shorts and my hoodie. I knew her stomach would be really impressive but I wasn't expecting it to be drop dead gorgeous! It's toned and smooth. Completely unblemished. Once I pull my eyes away from her stomach I notice her scanning the scene around her, confusion and disappointment apparent in her features. Is she looking for me? She moves towards Cook and says something to him that I obviously can't here, but then she turns towards where I'm sitting and sends me a shockingly beautiful smile, I smile back at her and she begins to head over to me.
"Naoms, what are you doing over here on your own?" Her smile changes to a more sympathetic smile. She doesn't know why, but I'm sure she can come to some kind of conclusion herself.
"You look beautiful Em."
"Don't ignore the question." She settles herself next to me, resting her hand over mine and squeezing it slightly. "Naomi, what is it? You can trust me."
I lean back and rest my head on the trunk of the tree and then look at Emily's hand over mine. I feel safe. Secure. I need to remember that Emily isn't going to hurt me. I am safe with her.
"I'm scared of water. Well of drowning. It's a long story but when I was 9 I nearly drowned and since then I've refused to step foot in any kind of pool or open expanse of water." I know Emily's looking at me, but I don't want to look at her. This is fucking ridiculous. What kind of 19 year old is scared of water. I'm so fucking pathetic.
"I'm going to help you."
"What?" I turn to her, shock evident in my face and my tone of voice. Why would she want to help me?
"I'm going to help you. I had to get over my fear of heights a few years ago. My family insisted that we go on this bridge in Belfast I think. It's a fucking rope bridge and scary as fuck, so before that I had to start facing my fears and shit. I know it's clichéd but it helps. So I'm going to help you." I finally turn to face Emily, and she has the sweetest smile on her face.
"Why do you want to help me?"
"Because when you care about someone you want to help them. And I care about you a hell of a lot, so I really want to help you. And I want to see you in a bikini." A cheeky smile emerges on her face and I can't help but let out a small laugh.
"Okay, you can help me."
"Don't worry, you'll be fine." Emily squeezes my hand again, and I just feel that much safer knowing that she is here with me and she wants to help me with something that I haven't been able to face for 10 years. I lean on her shoulder again, like I have done a lot recently and she rests her head on mine. We stay like this a long time, just chatting about nothing. I play with the sleeve of my hoodie that Emily is still wearing, tracing the letters of my name over and over again.
Emily went back to her room with Effy and I went back to mine with Cook later that evening. Emily said she would be coming to pick me up from my room later and we would head down to the campsite pool, so we could face my fear and shit. I told Cook and he's proud of me. He's proud that I took the risk with Emily and he's proud that she's helping me out. His words basically were "That red head is top notch Naomikins, you've done well darlin'". I know Cook well enough to know that means that he's proud.
It's about midnight now so Emily should be here any minute. I'm nervous like really fucking nervous. Once she got to my room she instantly pulled me into a swift kiss and quickly grabbed my hand and dragged me to the was probably so I couldn't distract her from the task at hand. I sat at the edge of the pool, with my feet dangling in the water with Emily next to me, still holding onto my hand. She hadn't let go since we got to the pool itself. I took a deep breath and looked out at the daunting sight in front of me that was making my heart beat increase due to panic.
"Do you think I can do it Em? Honestly?"
"I think you can do anything."
Let me know what you think and all that jazz. I'm going away soon again, so i'm going to try to keep updating as regularly as possible.
Thanks for all of the reviews so far and alerts and favorites! THANKYOU! HUGS ALL ROUND...MAYBE A FEW KISSES TOO :)
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