As it would be, Matsuda had slowly fell into the role of being the one in the background. And while he did still contribute to the discussions, he spoke rarely. Everyone did - it was impossible to get a word in when L and Light started talking. And while one would think that they would still have discussions even without Light, these were few; while L would occasionally tell them to withhold information from the young genius, for the most part there really wasn't any conversations amongst the old group.
Which was fine with Matsuda, who adapted easily into this new position he was in. Having been resolved against sulking like he did before, when Light first joined the group, Matsuda had one again become the loyal fetching boy, getting everyone lunch and coffee and whatnot. Slowly, Matsuda returned to his former self, though noticeably different; while he was getting over Ukita's death, he was still very much affected by it.
It seemed things were finally returning to a semblance of normality, with the notable different of L and Matsuda's lack of interaction. Sunday, however, deviated from the path. It was a bad day that went good (slowly).
That morning, Matsuda had woken up only to discover he had overslept. As he scrambled around to get ready, he spilled his coffee on his shirt and had to change, making him even later than he originally was. Halfway to work, he had bumped into a little kid and gotten ice cream all over his shirt. Too far away to turn back now, Matsuda wiped the sticky mess off his shirt as best he could and resumed on to work.
Once at work, Aizawa had teased him because he smelt "exactly like his wife," to which Matsuda shot back that his wife must be rubbing ice cream on all her clothing then. This made Aizawa fall silent and scowl; he knew a Matsuda with no breakfast was not a Matsuda to deal with.
As the morning progressed, not one person Matsuda worked with hadn't commented on his smell, L included. In all honesty, suddenly being under L's scrutinizing gaze after so long unnerved Matsuda a bit. Then again, having L look at someone hungrily would make anyone unnerved. Having L stare at him all day did nothing to improve Matsuda's mood, and it only worsened when he sat down and got focused on his work, only to find a hand in his pocket and a face against his belly.
"...Ryuuzaki-san, what are you doing..?" Matsuda asked, scooting back from L only to have L follow him since his hand was still lodged in Matsuda's pocket.
"You smell delicious," L said simply. "Like cake." At this, he raised his eyes to meet Matsuda and looked at him suspiciously, silently asking if Matsuda was holding out on him.
"It's ice cream..." Matsuda sighed, putting a hand to his forehead. He had to explain this already to Souchirou and Mogi and Light - couldn't there have been one person who didn't ask him about it? "Ano, Ryuuzaki-san, I'd like to get back to work..."
At this, L straightened and looked at Matsuda with wide eyes, remembering what Souchirou had told him last night. Matsuda turned in his chair, pulling L's hand out of his pocket as he did so.
That night, as Matsuda was preparing to leave, L asked him to stay awhile longer. Confusedly, Matsuda had, wondering why L was asking him to stay. He went back to his computer area, waiting for L to come and speak with him. It was after everyone left that L finally did so.
"Matsuda-san, could you come here?" L asked, not looking away from the papers in front of him. Matsuda stood, stretching a bit before heading over to L. Once he was within reach, L wrapped his arms around the brunet's waist, clinging to him tightly.
"If you want the shirt so much I'll give it to you..." Matsuda said, blinking down. In reply, L shifted so his legs were squeezing Matsuda's between them. Swaying, Matsuda put his hands on the arm of the chair to keep from falling.
"Yagami-san told me something last night," L said softly, voice muffled by Matsuda's shirt. "Something important."
"Eh?" Matsuda asked as L looked up at him. In the light, L's dark rings around his eyes almost disappeared.
"I'm sorry for pushing you away," L murmured, "and not being there for you when Ukita-san died. I know you two were close."
A sharp intake of breath as Matsuda froze at the mention of Ukita. Leaning harder against Matsuda, L ran his hands up and down Matsuda's back.
"It still hurts, doesn't it?" L observed quietly. "If there's anything I can do to help, let me know."
At this, he let his arms drop and pushed his chair away from Matsuda so he could stand. Rubbing at the back of his neck, L frowned at the floor for a moment before heading towards his bedroom. Pausing at the doorway, he half-turned and looked at Matsuda, hair obscuring his brown eyes.
"I love you," he said simply, entering the room and closing the door behind him.
L and Matsuda's conversation was a pain to write. Fortunately, artemisgirl helped me with it a LOT. Thank you ♥♥♥