Author's Note: Thanks! Sorry that this chapter is a little late... Classes have resumed, to my utter dismay. Enjoy!
Chapter Seven
Watching the Bystanders
He recognized the owl that had appeared just outside the window. It was Fawn. He smirked now, thinking about how coincidental it was that she chose that name for her owl. It had a letter clamped in its beak, rather than tied to its leg. The envelope was clean, and sealed. It was just like Narcissa to send nothing less than a letter written and enclosed in an orderly fashion.
He opened the window as quietly as he could and allowed the owl to flutter into the room. It landed noiselessly on his bed, dropping the letter carefully in front of it. After checking to make sure that none of the others had woken up – especially not James - Sirius held the window open, expecting the owl to fly back out. But it did not. Apparently, Fawn was to wait for a reply.
Sirius closed the window and sat back on his bed. The owl watched him intently, its yellow eyes staring at him much like a cat's would. He opened the envelope and drew out the letter.
My dearest cousin, still awake, I hope.
I will not bother with the details of my chat with James earlier this evening because I don't see the need to. I am sure he has informed you just as well as – if not better than – I would have. Reserve your judgment, Sirius, because I can not only explain, but make you understand.
I have always liked James. You laughed at me when I first told you years ago, do you remember? And you have told me countless times that he has always liked Lily. And just today you implied that it was unlikely for him to harbor feelings for me. It was as if you were warning me, with subtle hints and implications, that James was already marked out for someone else. I cannot tell if these warnings have been intentional or not, but I have been listening and I have suppressed my feelings.
Today, James expressed that he does want me, and the rush that came over me is inexplicable. It was as if he had spoken the only words that could make me realize that I cannot deny this feeling. Why not, I told myself, when this is the first opportunity at love that is ever presented to me. Yes, I chose to accept Lucius' proposal. But there is no love there, Sirius, not on his part nor on mine. He chose me for my bloodline, for our family. I agreed for his power and wealth. Superficial, isn't it?
I will tell James the truth.
But until I muster the strength to do so, you must promise to hold my secret a little while longer. May I have your word on this…?
How could Sirius say no…?
He adored her and loved her and if he could have snatched her from the shallow, insincere social class that they were both born in, he would have. But escape had never been on her mind. She was attached to her family. This relationship with James is the first serious infraction she has ever done. And even then, he could tell by her letter that she was not going to let this ruin anything.
He rummaged around his things, careful not to make too much noise, for a piece of parchment, ink, and his quill. Once equipped, he wrote.
Of course…but I hope to Hell that you know what you are doing.
Pleasant dreams, Narcissa.
He signed it with love and rolled it up. Upon opening the window, Fawn snatched the parchment from his fingers as she took flight. Sirius watched the owl fly away and felt a yawn coming on. He really should be sleeping.
October was strangely colder than it usually was and even without a breeze, it was like the air itself was as cold as ice. Black school robes were overshadowed by bonnets, scarves, and gloves in the colors of the four Houses. They were like a burst of spring flowers against the gray skies, gray landscape, and even grayer stone walls of Hogwarts Castle.
It was a Saturday, October 31st, and everyone was out on the grounds despite the cold weather. Several were busy horsing around. A few were seated under the scattered trees, reading a book or chatting with friends. And even fewer were in the Quidditch Field.
The Gryffindor team was rigorously training for their upcoming match against Slytherin, and a small number of students were sitting at the stands, watching. Among the number were Lily and Harriet, joined by Bailey. Close by sat Severus Snape, poring over a book. Further on was Sirius with Narcissa, watching the Gryffindor team intently.
Lily had agreed to come because Harriet had wanted to. Of course, her friend was not interested in watching the practice at all. She only came to steal glances at Sirius. And then they had run into Bailey, who asked to join them. Lily had wanted to say no, knowing that James might misinterpret seeing her with him, but she caught sight of Severus watching her. After weighing out which would displease James more, she decided to choose being with Bailey. That would most likely prevent Severus going with her, which would have done worse than mere displeasure. Besides, what had happened in the library was still on her mind and she was still a little distressed by it.
As she sat there by the Quidditch Field, she found another reason to be distressed. James, forever the show-off, was pulling off stunts on his broom. He did flips and spins and dives, all the wile grinning like an egghead. He stood up and balanced him on the broomstick, flying it like a surfboard on water, and then whooped and cheered. It was an unsightly display, considering that James was the Captain, and the whole team was shouting at him to cut it out.
Lily wondered who he was showing off for. He had never done that during practice before, when there were no spectators. And as if in answer, she saw Narcissa in the sidelines. She had to admit, that girl was unbelievably beautiful. She would have been able to pass off for a Greek Goddess. Even on this drab, dreary day, she was lovely and looking at her made Lily feel so plain. She was no longer paying attention to James, or even to Bailey and Harriet who were talking to her simultaneously about two different things. She was wondering what Narcissa and Sirius were discussing.