"Anything else?" The waitress asked as she poured Jerry another glass of iced tea.
"No, we're fine. Thanks." His friend George Costanza answered.
Jerry looked at his friend in dismay. "She was talking to me!"
"Well, you didn't want anything else, did you?" George asked.
"As a matter of fact, I might!" Jerry said, unable to hide the irritation that crept into his voice.
The waitress rolled her eyes and started to walk away.
"Hey wait a minute!" Jerry called to her. "I wasn't finished! Give me a ham omelet and a side of hash browns."'
"You've got it, Seinfeld." The waitress said, quickly jotting down the order.
"What?" Jerry yelled, seeing George's incredulous look.
"Are you crazy?" George asked. "You've already consumed a burger and fries, plus three glasses of iced tea, which, I must point out, you never do, and now you go and order an entire breakfast entrée? What's gotten into you?"
"I'm hungry, okay?" Jerry snapped, almost yelling the words.
George narrowed his eyes.
"What now?" Jerry yelled as George stared at him.
"It's Kathryn, isn't it?"
"What?"
"You can tell me. You called her, didn't you?" George began to laugh. "I knew you couldn't stay away."
"That's been over for months." Jerry said, cringing at the thought of his obnoxious ex-girlfriend.
George shook his head in disbelief. "I told you not to call her."
"I didn't call her!" Jerry yelled, noticing the other patrons were staring at him.
"So what's going on? Why are you acting so weird?" George asked.
Jerry sighed. "I met someone last night."
George's face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Really? You met a girl?"
"Yes, George. I met a girl." Jerry said, making sure he emphasized the last word.
"Wow, that's... great. Just great." George said glumly.
"What's with you?" Jerry asked, noting that George's tone had been more upbeat when he found out that his beloved dog died when they were in the third grade.
"Oh nothing." George sighed. "It's just that I haven't been with a woman in weeks. I'm like a disease!"
"What happened to Donna?" Jerry asked.
"You mean Donna from my mother's card group?" George asked.
"Yeah, what was wrong with her?"
"Jerry, are you listening to yourself? I'm not dating anyone who knows my mother! Case closed!"
For effect, George waved his hands like an umpire calling a baseball player safe at the plate.
Jerry nodded knowingly. "You've got a point there."
"So tell me about this girl." George prompted. "What does she do?"
Jerry shrugged. "I have no idea."
"What do you mean, you have no idea? You slept with her, didn't you?"
"How could I have slept with her? I don't even know her name." Jerry admitted.
George almost choked on his coffee.
"Wait, hold on. You didn't get her name? Did you talk to her?"
"No." Jerry said miserably.
"What is she, a mime?"
"A mime?" Jerry asked, amazed at Jerry's question.
"So where did you meet her?" George asked.
"Well, I didn't exactly meet her." Jerry admitted.
At this news, George slid out of the booth and rose to his feet.
"Wait a minute, wait a minute! Hold on! What in the hell are you talking about?" He asked, yelling the question.
Then, embarrassed to find that everyone in the diner was staring at him (even the cook!), he sat down.
"Are you through making a fool out of yourself?" Jerry asked.
"I'm sorry." George said, sounding as though he were on the verge of tears. "I just want to know!"
He buried his head in his hands in shame.
Jerry sighed. He may as well tell him. When it came to women, George never let up. He had to know every detail.
"She was in the audience at the club last night. It was hard not to notice her, because she was the only one laughing. I tell ya, these audiences are getting worse and worse all the time."
The color had finally returned to George's face and he was once again acting like the kid in the candy store.
"Yeah, yeah, forget about that. What about the girl? Is she good-looking?"
"Yes, of course she's good-looking!" Jerry said hesitantly.
"But..." George prompted.
"She's beautiful, George. But it doesn't matter anyway." Jerry said, relieved to have finally vented his frustrations.
"Why not?" George asked.
"You should have seen her, George." Jerry said distractedly. "Long, wavy hair, beautiful eyes... and she was wearing this dress...
My God, as long as I live, I'll never forget that dress!"
"So what's the problem?" George asked. "Just ask her out."
"How am I supposed to do that?" Jerry asked. "I couldn't even talk to her. As soon as I had a chance to go over to her, she was gone."
"So, look her up." George said.
"How, George? I don't even know her name! What am I supposed to do, look in the phone book under Beautiful woman in gorgeous dress?"
George shrugged. "It couldn't hurt."
"Yeah right." Jerry said sarcastically. "There's only about a million women in New York City who fit that description, so finding her should be a snap."
The waitress sat Jerry's breakfast entree down on the table.
"What was I thinking, ordering more food? Jerry asked, looking at the plate. "I'm not even the least bit hungry."
He looked up to find George eyeing the omelet with envy.
"Do you want this?" He asked, pushing the plate toward his friend.
George grabbed his fork and began devouring the meal.
"No thanks. I'm not hungry."