The Aislin Chronicles

Part XXXIII

A/n: See? That was pretty fast, right? Well, not so sure when the next chapter is coming because suddenly Mrs. Forman thinks we need to do like twelve English projects in two weeks, and I can only handle so many Canterbury Tales at one time, let alone my own. Hectic times, hectic times. It might please you to know that I had to write this essay on friendship and the body of the paper was a story about Aislin and Jess. Did I already tell you that? I can't remember. It was a pretty corny paper, but Mrs. Forman found it "compelling." Whatever. Oh, here's the chapter. Sorry about my rambling.

9-16-03

7:03 PM

Rotten day. Lots of homework. Awkward schooling. Forced conversations. No contact with him at all. And, to top it all off, Dad's going to be gone this weekend. He sat Mom and I down at dinner and explained everything to us in full detail, because he's going on a mission. I thought Sydney was really going to get angry, because the mission thing was how they got into their fight, but she seemed to take it well and understand everything. I'm really sad, and somewhat mad at him, but he's going because he wants this promotion. I don't know. He assured us there wasn't anything he'd be doing that involved danger. He said that he wasn't going to be in the field; just a sit-in-the-van-stare-at-the-screen-behind-the-scenes type deal. I'm still going to miss him. But really, great, just what I need to make me even more depressed.

At least I have something to look forward to tomorrow. It's Moms doctor's appointment. That will certainly give me a lift, take my mind off of things.

9-17-03

4:39 PM
IT'S A GIRL! I'M HAVING A SISTER! It's a girl, it's a girl, it's a girl! I know and Mom and Dad don't. Haha! I've already started to taunt them about it in the car. I can't wait until they cave, you know they are going to cave. The question is when to break them. Hmm.

So Mom and Dad picked me up right after school and we went over to the building place. We waited for almost twenty minutes before we got in. Then Mom had to change, and then we had to wait some more for the doctor. When she finally came, she was really nice. A little bit younger than I expected, maybe only a few years older than Mom and Dad, but nonetheless friendly.

Then there was the drama that was Mom's weight.

Mom says: "I'm huge!"

Doctor Zanberg says: "Actually, you're quite small."

Dad says: "Yeah, you look like you're hiding a volleyball in there."

Dad earns "the look."

Even after she eats like a horse, she's supposed to gain more weight. Dad and I have the job of feeding her. We have to make sure she's eating enough. There was some more boring chit-chat, then came my favorite part. The doctor said it was time for the ultrasound, and Mom and Dad said that they didn't want to know the gender. They wanted to know if they could still look at the screen though. Doctor Zanberg said they wouldn't be able to tell by looking at the screen unless she pointed stuff out to them. So then, eeeeeee, there was Syd-n-Vaughn junior on the screen! And I really couldn't make much of the picture, it was pretty much a bunch of white blobs with a bigger circular blob for a head, but, um, awww. What a cutie. Then she made Mom and Dad cover their eyes briefly, and she pointed to something on the screen and mouthed 'girl' to me. She's a girl! She's my sister! My cutie patootie white blob little baby sister. Ah I can't wait for her!

I'm definitely going to call Jess with the news! And Kathleen too, and… Oh. Not Ian. So not what I was going to say. So not.

Crap.

Way to ruin another perfectly good day. Bastard.

Still, the thought that I'm having a sister makes things a little better. That is nice to know. It's only slightly (really) depressing that I can't share the news with someone that used to care…

Still haven't talked to him.

Gonna go feed the Sydney.

9-18-03

3:36 PM

Uh oh.

Everything just got a hundred times more confusing.

So, well, I talked to Ian today. But not by choice. He approached me at lunch. I, uh, well, it's a long story. I really, really, really don't know what to think anymore. Anyway, at lunch he came to, wait. I ought to start from the beginning…

So. Jess and I were talking on the way to second hour this morning, about how Ian hasn't talked to me like, at all this week, and I mean, it's Thursday, that's awfully weird even after this incident. We expected him to try to explain himself or something. Not that I was willing to hear it. Since Adam and him are still friends, Adam apparently said something to him about it. All through math he was trying to get my attention. But no, I was trying to take notes on box and whisker plots. Finally he sent me a note. It said, "We need to talk." I sent him one back. It said, "No."

Yeah, that might have been a little harsh. But work with me journal, you know how I get pissed off about everything.

So when we were eating lunch, Kathleen suddenly stopped talking to me mid sentence and stared at something behind me. I turned around and it was Ian. I had a really big urge to smoosh my peanut butter sandwich into his face, but despite how much I hated him, he was still really cute and had this sort of pleading look in his eyes… Yeah, I fell for it. Ugh. Anyway, he was like, "I didn't know you were mad at me."

"What?" It wasn't a I-didn't-hear-you-the-first-time kind of what. It was more of a are-you-effing-kidding-me kind of what.

"Yeah… So I guess we need to talk." I didn't say anything, nor did I make any move to follow him. He turned around and was like, "Please?"

Damn his blue eyes. I followed.

We stood out in the foyer of the school and I crossed my arms and waited for him to waste my time. But then he surprised me. "I had no idea Lauren started that rumor."

Rumor? My ears perked up, and he really had my attention. I wasn't sure how to react, and it came out as sort of an, "Uhhh."

"Look, here's what happened…" He proceeded to tell me that Lauren called him on Saturday night and told him that a bunch of people were going to see Pirates of the Caribbean and she invited him to go. So he thought he'd go and hang out with people, but when he got there it was just Lauren. He stayed because she convinced him that other people were coming, and when no one else came after he bought his ticket, he figured he'd see it again because it was a good movie. But it was just them. And he said that she kept touching him. And finally, she tried to make out with him and succeeded with a small kiss… Then he left.

He said that he knew something was up when he called me last night and I wouldn't talk to him. (He did that. Forgot to mention it. I didn't want him ruining my sister's day.) And then talking to Adam he figured it out.

The thing is… I don't know if I believe him. I mean, I really want to. I really want everything to go back to the way it was because I do like him a lot. It's just that… He did spend a lot of the movie alone with her. And she kissed him. Her lips were touching his. No… God. I keep picturing them together and I feel almost sick. I absolutely dread Spanish every day. My seat is by the door, and she walks in every day in front of me. Today she gave me this wicked smile. I almost jumped over the table and strangled her. Bitch.

I tried to talk to Jess about it during that hour, but we had to play this game and we couldn't communicate that well. I'll have to call her. I need an outside party to help me figure this out. But gosh, I just don't know how I should be feeling. Yesterday I was never going to speak with him again and now today I want him back so badly. I really don't know what to do.

9-19-03

4:01 AM

I just had the worst dream. I've been awake for an hour now, just thinking about it. I can't stop, so I decided to write it down. Because I have to sleep or else I won't make it through the day. Here it goes.

I was running somewhere, but it was really really dark outside. I couldn't see very far in front of me, but I realized I was in some woods. I came to a clearing, and in the middle I saw Ian and Lauren kissing. I yelled because I got mad, and then they started chasing me. Suddenly they were chasing me in a car. It was light out now. And I was running through my neighborhood. When I reached my driveway I turned around to see where the car was, and then I watched Lauren drive the car into Dad and Mom. I ran over to see if they were okay, but Mom and Dad were dead. There was blood everywhere. And I then I noticed this baby crying on the ground next to Mom. So I picked her up and tried to comfort her, but we were both crying because we had just lost our parents. Ian, Jess, and Kathleen were standing by the curb just watching us. Then Lauren came out of nowhere and grabbed my sister out of my arms and threw her in front of a passing car. I woke up just before the car hit her. I was bawling.

6:42 PM

Dad picked me up after school today because he had to go home and pack for Peru. I didn't greet him like usual when I got in the car because I had had a rough day, things had been awkward with Ian again… I was pretty quiet and just fiddled with the radio until I came to that really sad Evanescence song. I could tell Dad wanted to say something to me, but I wasn't sure what. He asked me how school was, and I said fine. He asked me if I was okay, I shrugged.

When we got home I just laid on his bed and watched him pack his suitcase. He was almost finished when he sat down next to his stuff and looked at me seriously. "Are… Are you happy here? I mean with me and Sydney?"

Whoa! That scared the hell out of me. Where did that questions come from? "Of course, what would make you say that?"

"You've just been so down lately."

Yeah, I admit that I have. I scooted closer to him and pressed my head into his pillow. "It's just the Ian thing. We was still a really good friend. And, well, nevermind."

"What?"

I didn't mean to take the conversation where I did. I meant to save this for another time. But since it sort of came up, and since Dad and I were home alone for the time being, I let it happen. "Well, it's almost October… And it's almost been a year since… Yeah." I paused, then continued slowly. "Do you think we could go back to Ireland soon? Just… Just for a little while?"

"Of course we can."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

I got up and hugged him, told him I loved him, etc., etc. Then he asked me again if I was okay, really okay. I told him about what Ian said yesterday. And I told him I'd miss him a lot this weekend, but that I'd take care of Mom. Make sure she eats food like a gigantic truck guzzling gas. He laughed at that, and said that it was nice my sense of humor was back. I agree, it's good to make jokes again.

Mom came home then, and Dad quickly finished packing. He gave me a big hug and a kiss goodbye, then he spent a few minutes cuddling Mom and holding her stomach. It was utterly endearing, but at the same time it made me sad. I don't really know why. They just love each other so much, I don't want them to separate even for two days.

But finally, he had to leave, and Mom joined me on the bed. I wanted to keep myself occupied from Dad and Ian, so I started a conversation with her about, well, not the previously mentioned topics, I can't really remember what all we were talking about. After awhile she got this funny look on her face. She grabbed my hand an pressed it into her stomach.

"Uh, Mom?"

"Do you feel that?"

Pause. "No."

I thought Mom was crazy, but she sat up and waited a few minutes for something to happen again. Nothing did. So then we went out to dinner. We just got back, and now we're going to go watch a movie we rented. So… Later.

9:30 AM
Okay, so, Mom did that weird thing again during the movie. She like snatched my hand and held it to her stomach. I felt nothing. "Mom, I don't feel anything."

"Just wait, it'll do it again!"

Well, no, it didn't. But she held my hand to her stomach for about an hour, finally the phone rang and I could have my hand back. You know it's really difficult to eat popcorn when you only have one hand because you either have to hold it all in one hand and try to pop pieces into your mouth but they end up halfway into your mouth before rolling down your shirt, or you try to balance them on your stomach (because you're leaning back just so) to eat them more properly, but they still end up falling all over the place and then you can't pick them up because you only have one hand!

But, right… So about that phone call…

It was Jess. She wanted to discuss the politics of the Ian ordeal. I didn't. It was a somewhat frustrating conversation that interrupted my viewing of Moulin Rouge so I wasn't listening to her much. It sort of went down as such:

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me."

Me meaning Jess. "Hey, what's up?"

"Nothing much, just wanted to talk. You?"

"I'm watching Moulin Rouge with Mom."

"Cool. Look, I really think we should discuss this Ian thing."

And I really thought we shouldn't. "Ugh, please, not right now. I'm already not in a very good mood and it would just makes things–"

"Come on, just hear me out! Okay, Adam's still friends with him, and we're still friends with Adam. So when we wanna hang out and do stuff, you're gonna be there and Ian's gonna be there. It's gonna be awkward."

"So I won't hang out with you." Problem solved, back to my movie!

"No! But we want to hang out with you!"

"Well, then I don't have a solution. You think of something." I was about to add my 'good day' to end it, but…

"Well I was thinking maybe we ought to see if he wasn't lying after all, I mean, just so you don't hate him, you know?"

Yeah, I knew. I just didn't want to think about it. I still don't want to think about it. "It's not like we can walk right up to Lauren and be all, 'I hear Ian shut you down at the movies last weekend…' Okay, I really have to go."

"What? Fine, fine. I'll think of something then."

"Talk to you later."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Then I finished watching the movie with Mom. Was good. One of my faves. Then we had a good long talk about Dad. Hopefully after this mission he'll be getting promoted and he'll have more time off, and, more importantly, more money for the baby girl (squee!) on the way. I asked her what she did at work after they made the "no missions" rule that Daddy has quite obviously disobeyed. She said she like, coaxes other people through missions, tells them what to say and stuff in foreign languages and whatnot. Kind of cool, I guess.

Well, today I believe we are doing… I don't know. Something. I think we're having lunch together at Francie's restaurant, which would be nice. Maybe Francie can help me convince Mom to learn the gender of her darling baby girl. Hehe. Sister. I'm definitely going to try to convince her all weekend.

Hmm. I want Dad to come home. I want Ian to… I don't know. Go away. Or something. I want to eat another bowl of cereal I think. Yes. Yes I do. A wee bit more Cheerios for Aislin. Toodle-loo.

9:41 AM

Ha! That rhymed…

A/n: I'll try to update as soon as I can. Thanksgiving Weekend at the latest. I'll try to at least two updates by the end of that weekend. Maybe three if you review like mad…