Chapter 13
John led Ianto gently back to his own room, unsure as to whether lying with Ianto was the right thing to do. He was prepared to restrain himself from making any move other than comfort on the young man, as he sensed it was exactly what he needed.
Ianto's eyes widened when he realised John had led him to his own room, but he was also relieved. He didn't want to be alone … again. He needed John and though his conscience tore strips out of him, he allowed himself to be led to John's bed. They both sat down, then John got up and removed his jacket, boots and socks, deftly undoing his belt and slipping out of his trousers.
Ianto noticed that unlike Jack, John folded his clothes carefully before putting them on a nearby chair, then placed his boots neatly underneath it.
Before climbing on the bed next to Ianto, he stared into the young man's expectant eyes and said, "I'm just here to help you, Ianto. I know this separation has been very hard on you. It's your first time being bonded and then separated … after such a short time. I'm sorry but we both know I had to do this. I'm just here to comfort you, Ianto, be here until you fall asleep. I'm not going to put us in a compromising situation. You need your rest … you really do, Ianto."
Disappointment swam in Ianto's blue eyes as he looked up at John and his voice turned husky as he replied, "What if I want to be put in a compromising situation?"
John's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "Ianto!", he exclaimed, unable to keep the shock out of his voice. His heart began to speed up, his libido sending its usual message to his body. John knew he shouldn't do anything with Ianto … knew he shouldn't betray Jack … but also knew that with that one short question Ianto had put to him, he probably wasn't going to listen to his conscience.
He smiled longingly at Ianto, who returned his gaze with passion flaring in his eyes. John then smirked at him and fingers gently grasping the bottom of his t-shirt, he lifted it slowly, teasingly, off then threw it in an untidy heap on top of his other clothes. Then he looped his fingers under the waistband of his boxers moving his hips slowly in an enticing manner when …
The Vortex Manipulator burst into life, lights blazing accompanied by musical beeps. Shit! Who the fuck is that? Oh, wait a minute … I know who it is … FUCK!
Ianto's face had that deer caught in headlights expression and he stifled a wail that had crawled up his throat, along with the sharp sting of acid as bile followed it up. His body stiffened in anxiety, all trace of desire and need for John trampled into the ground. He knew that only a few minutes longer and he would have been lost in John's passionate embrace; he knew deep within his heart that if he had allowed John to make love to him, he would never return to Jack; he knew he had been on the brink of betrayal to his own Captain; he knew who was calling … and just in that moment, Ianto discovered that he hated the Immortal for taking away his only chance of love with a man who was mortal, like himself; a man who would love him and grow old with him.
John carefully opened his VM, his eyes never leaving Ianto's face as he watched ragged emotions flickering in his eyes; felt the confusion and pain in the young Welshman's heart and; listened carefully to the conflicting thoughts running through Ianto's mind. He couldn't help but feel his heart burst open in unexpected love and happiness … knowing that soon he would be shattered when he broke the bond between himself and the man he realised, who had replaced Jack in his own heart … Ianto Jones.
For long moments John and Ianto just stared into each other's eyes, their shared love an agonising torment in their hearts, but one which the bond forced them to share … because they now knew how much they loved each other … with or without the bond. Then John savagely punched buttons on his VM and they both watched as an image of Captain Jack Harkness appeared as a smiling hologram to them.
"Hi John … Ianto! Good news! The Doctor found out about your plan through his Tardis. He explained it all brilliantly to the Shadow Proclamation, who are prepared to give you the chance to return and present your proposition to the Prince. Of course, Prince Varnia is not happy about it and refused to watch the message you sent me, but I'm sure he'll change his mind once he sees the alternate Ianto. So … with the way all clear for you to return without the SP threat, I suggest you bring both Iantos back with you. I know that's something your Vortex Manipulator can do … transport a maximum of three people! By the way, the Doctor tweaked mine so that I could send this message to you through space and time. Brilliant, don't you think? I owe you, John , no really … I do! Thank you! And Ianto … I can't begin to express how much I've missed you; how much I long to see you again … hold you in my arms … love you! So hurry home to me. And John? You need to time this well. In our time, you have four hours remaining to return. Synchronise your Vortex Manipulator from the time you exited the Hub, which gives you a leeway of just over two hours before the deadline is reached. Ianto … nearly losing you has only confirmed what I've known was true, deep in my heart, but I've never admitted it before. You're the One, Ianto Jones, you're the One!"
Captain Jack Harkness then saluted them both, his eyes shining with gratitude for John … and love for Ianto. Then the image flickered and disappeared.
A heart-wrenching sob issued from Ianto's mouth and he covered his face with his hands and curled up into the foetal position, weeping as his heart shattered. John rushed to him and pulled the young man into a fierce embrace, tears spilling down his own face as he held his broken Welshman. He carefully blocked out sending his thoughts out to Ianto through their bond. Ianto clung desperately to him, his fingers digging painfully into John's arms, but the Captain was too overcome by the agony in his heart and mind to notice.
As Ianto battled the terrible conflict in his heart, John battled the darkness and despair in his mind, bitterly reminded of how his heart had shattered into a thousand pieces once before … when Jack had left him. Now he was in a similar agony that he had sworn would never happen to him again … because of his love for Ianto Jones.
Soothing words softly spoken stroked at Ianto's heart and mind as John willed the healing power of his love into the young man. John cared Ianto too much to watch him suffer without trying to help him. He felt the young Welshman's healing love returned to him … but it was too late for him … his heart was breaking beyond the point of repair. With a clarity that is often born of emotions stretched agonisingly beyond their limits, John saw the truth and his shattering heart echoed the last words of Captain Jack's holographic message to Ianto … You're the One, Ianto Jones, you're the One.
John's voice cracked as he spoke. "Hey, babe. C'mon. We have to get you showered and changed back into that wonderful suit of yours. It's time to leave this dry, barren planet and get you _"
"You're going to break our bond, aren't you?" Ianto gasped at him, his hands falling from his face as he stared up at John, unfathomable pain, desperation and despair reaching out in his stormy blue eyes. John shuddered under the impact of Ianto's words, reeling back in shock at the avalanche of emotions engulfing him from the young Welshman.
"Yes", John whispered, slamming his barriers up so that Ianto wouldn't be overwhelmed by his emotions, "We have to, babe … you know we have to." Ianto wailed loudly into John's chest, painful sobs tearing from his throat. John just held him tighter, his tears falling into Ianto's soft, brown hair. Even thoughts of how upset Jack would be when he saw Ianto's condition; clothes hanging off him because of the weight loss, sunken eyes shadowed darkly in his face, lips cracked and torn due to dehydration; couldn't distract him from his dark desolation.
After a long time, an eternity seemingly condensed to an hour, John laid the exhausted Ianto down on his bed; stroking the tear-streaked face with tender fingers, smiling at the closed eyelids framed with long, delicate lashes, remembering the sweet softness of the now cracked lips. Then he placed the most delicate of kisses on Ianto's brow before rising carefully and putting his clothes back on. Slowly he began walking out the door treading softly on the tiled floor, knowing Ianto needed to rest before they left V-dale Sipora.
John slumped on the wall outside his bedroom, trying to gain control of his ragged breathing and viciously wiping his tear-streaked face with the sleeve of his jacket, he slammed up his empathic barriers. But not before sending one last tender message to Ianto via their bond – I love you Ianto and I'll never, ever forget what we shared together. And I want you to always remember one thing … you're very special, Ianto Jones and you are MORE … you will always be MORE.
Then he pulled down his Captain John Hart mask, assumed the familiar persona and pushing off the wall, sauntered down the hallway to his team. There were plans to be made, preparations for the journey and Jones to be prepared before they travelled back to 21st century Earth.
Throwing the door wide open, John stalked into the large common room, noting with malicious pleasure the abrupt halt in conversation as all heads at the table, turned to watch him enter. He came to stand behind V'dahna, resting his hands on the back of her chair as he glared at each one in turn.
"There's been a change of plans" he announced in his no-nonsense voice, "We're leaving earlier than anticipated so I'll be bringing Ianto through in about two hours time to begin the Unbreaking ceremony. I'll need V'dahna, Cookie and Redden for this … the rest of you will leave us. Jones! If you have already unpacked your bag, then I need you to pack it up again. Now! And I'm sorry Jones, but no time for any dalliances before we leave. Are we clear on that, V'dahna?"
V'dahna's pout matched the scowl on Jones' face … both had been looking forward to an interesting evening after supper. Uncharacteristically, John ignored their reaction. It was then that Redden realised their Captain was wound up tighter than the Xorial comet, whose tail culminated in a seemingly never ending spiral closing in on itself. They would all have to be very carefuldealing with John … especially when he returned from a journey where he would essentially be, handing over the person he had bonded with. They were in for a rough ride for a few months.
Cookie spoke up, concern lacing his tone. "Is Ianto alright?" He was dismayed that the bond between John and Ianto would be broken so soon … especially when Ianto hadn't fully recovered yet from his separation with John. Cookie was worried about the state Ianto would be left in after the unbreaking … and he wondered how Ianto's friends and lover would react to seeing him in such a bad state.
"He will be" John answered curtly, "once we break the bond. And return him home. Okay, so I'll need you to prepare a quick dinner for us, Cookie, because we'll eat in about an hour … just whatever you can rustle up."
He then addressed the rest of his team. "Wind up your game. Redden, I need you to come with me and check my VM. I'm taking both Iantos back with me at the same time, so I want you to run through the extra checks. V'dahna, I need you to set up a new flight path for us. I don't want to risk destroying us or causing a tear in the Universe by running into myself, triggering a paradox. Meet in my office in 15 minutes."
With those final words, he turned and left the room, headed for his office, gratified at the sounds of his team packing up their game behind him. He hesitated as he passed his bedroom door, then backtracked to look in upon Ianto. John's heart melted at the sight of Ianto sleeping. Despite the ravages visible in the lines and shadows on his face, the sunken cheeks, the young man still held traces of an innocent beauty that was rare in the Universe.
He shoved down his impulse to rush into the room, grab Ianto into his arms and never let the young man go! Bitterness hollowed out his insides as he realised the cruel irony of his situation. He had found the perfect love, bonded with him and brought him far in time and space to this planet … and now he was preparing to send him back to 21st century Earth … back to Captain Jack Harkness, his former lover! He swallowed down the acidic tang of bile shooting up his throat and turned away, walking determinedly back up the corridor to his office.
The door opened and Redden stepped back into the office to allow his Captain entry. "V'dahna is in the Strategy room working on the new co-ordinates for your flight path. She estimates it will be ready in about 45 minutes."
John nodded as he moved behind his desk and sat down. "I need a booster on my VM added once you've run through your checks. Any problem with that?"
"No, Captain", Redden said shaking his head. "I was going to suggest it myself so I picked up a boost pack from the Supplies room. You won't have any problems on your flight from the VM. And we both know V'dahna's new flight plan will not have any flaws." John's second-in-command then took a seat on the opposite side of the Captain's desk, a look of quiet confidence on his face.
"Good, good!" replied John, leaning back in his chair in a nonchalant manner that didn't fool Redden. He knew his Captain was hurting … hurting a lot! But he'd never humiliate the man by mentioning it. Cookie had told him a long time ago, when the Captain had first come to this planet, all about John's home planet … and the bonding process.
They had soon found out the other side of John … as a former Time Agent, when he formed them together as a team. John had always seemed brittle at best, hard at worst and he and Cookie suspected that it had to do with a traumatic break-up that had deeply scarred him. They never found out anything about it because John was more fond of recounting his crazy schemes and dangerous adventures with the Time Agency, rather than his personal life. He kept that part of himself closed.
Redden knew that all he and the other team members could do, was wait and see how their Captain was when he returned. It was a pity that things hadn't worked out between John and Ianto … couldn't work out between the two of them. He and Cookie had noticed that Ianto had managed in a short space of time, to soften the hard edges of their Captain. But John was a man of his word, a man of honour beneath that sarcastic, dangerous veneer. And Redden and the team would be ready for him.
John, Redden and V'dahna finished their preparations and they headed back to the common room to see how the rest of the team was doing. Everything was ready for John's departure. Cookie had even managed to throw together a delicious stew with steamed vegetables on the side, crusty bread and crumbly pink cheese with crackers.
John ordered his team out of the room except for Cookie and Redden. Then he went to his room to wake Ianto. His steps felt leaden as he moved down the corridor. John paused at the doorway, checking his empathic barriers were still strong, then pushing down the dreadful feeling of loss that was churning his insides … he entered the room.
Ianto had barely moved in the time since he had last seen him … except for the soft snores that escaped his lips. A small smile to the young man filled John with one last burst of happiness … before the man to come. On impulse, which he knew he would regret, John leant down carefully to Ianto's face and placed a delicate kiss on those cracked lips. Their ragged condition meant nothing to John … they belonged to the man he had fallen in love with … and bonded with. He poured everything into that one kiss because it was his last chance to do so … here, alone with Ianto.
The young Welshman didn't wake, but a wondrous smile softened his features and John recognised the beautiful young man he was beneath the ravages of his pain at their separation. He realised that Ianto, even in his dream state, knew who it was who had kissed him. He captured that last memory of Ianto in his heart, knowing that the young Welshman had received and returned the love he had poured into that kiss.
A new strength surged within John as he carefully shook the young man's shoulders and called his name. "Ianto! Ianto! It's time to wake up. C'mon babe, open those gorgeous eyes for me." Ianto startled awake, his eyelids heavy with sleep … not enough rest. His drowsy blue eyes focused as John came sharply into view.
"John!" he gasped, a moment of recognition and … happiness … danced across his face as he jerked up from the bed. Then it faded and a curtain of pain and desolation replaced it, as he remembered where he was and what was about to happen. Ianto's eyes filled with tears and he grabbed John into his arms, a sob escaping his lips.
John hardened his heart as he allowed Ianto to cling desperately to him and weep once more before it all ended … their bond… their life… their love story. No tears pooled in John's eyes to trickle down his cheeks. He was there for Ianto and only him … strong for him … ready to do the unthinkable for him … because he loved him.
Ianto was distraught, but he was no fool. He knew what John was doing and why he was doing it … and he loved him for it. Captain John Hart being strong and there for him … like a Hero. But Ianto's heart cried out in anguish from being blocked from the loving connection they shared. Just once more … just once more, Ianto wanted to feel John's love singing through his veins.
Control returned to Ianto's body as he forced him to calmness, his own steely determination to stand strong giving him the added strength he needed. Silencing his sobs except for a few, watery hiccups, Ianto released his grip on John and pushed himself back on the bed, not daring to look up into John's eyes … he couldn't.
John spoke quietly. "Ianto, it's time." He gently took Ianto's hand to stand up, then stood by the door while the young Welshman quickly threw his casual clothes back on. Ianto still wouldn't look at the Captain, but he slipped his hand into John's and together they walked silently out of the room and down the corridor.
When John and Ianto entered the common room, Redden and Cookie were already sat at the table waiting for them, as silent as solemn as they were. John led Ianto over and they took their seats, Ianto with his head still down and John's gaze at his friends, steely and cool.
"Alright Ianto, here's what's going to happen", John began, his voice steady, "We're going to link hands because we all share empathic abilities. Redden and Cookie will act step in as links, one for each of us. Think of it as you and I being a bridge, Redden and Cookie are the supports beneath us. They'll briefly join with us in our bond, Redden with me and Cookie with you. Then they'll pull downtheir support of our bridge and draw us with them, away from each other. The hard part, Ianto, is that we'll have to not only allow them to draw us away, but we'll have to forcibly push against the link. We'll all know when the severing is complete. Do you understand?"
Ianto nodded and pulled his hands up from his lap and placed them on the table. The four men linked hands and John spoke again. "The first thing we have to do, Ianto, is open ourselves fully to our bond … then Redden and Cookie can join us."
Ianto looked up briefly at John; pain, despair and desolation shone out of the watery blue depths of the young man's eyes as he sent his last plea to John, not to break their bond. The Captain gazed sadly at Ianto, one last time as his bond mate, allowing Ianto to see all the pain and regret in his own eyes, and shook his head.
They all linked hands firmly and with determination, and began the process …
Ten minutes later, the procedure was complete and the bond had been successfully broken between Ianto and John. The four men dropped their hands to the table, all of them physically exhausted and emotionally drained after the ordeal … but they hid it all beneath their determination to weather the final lashings of the storm's dying throes. Each waited until the calm of finality enabled them to 'return' back to reality … four men sat at a table. Then they all stood up, John gesturing to Redden to follow him out of the room. No-one said a word.
Cookie looked over at the new friend he was about to lose. A deep sadness filled his heart as the pain of being involved in such an intimate and terrible severing, lingered. He walked over to stand at Ianto's side and reached his hand out to him. Ianto grasped it tightly, without looking at Cookie and together they walked out of the room.
Ianto went into his own room to shower before dinner, while Cookie stayed a little while, checking that a fresh towel was laid on the bed. Then he carefully laid out Ianto's clean underwear, freshly ironed shirt, his tie and the immaculate suit that Ianto had arrived in, freshly laundered and pressed. He then left the room and headed back to the kitchen to prepare the meal.
Tears poured silently, mixing with the hot water as Ianto stood in the shower, his forehead pressed against the tiled wall. The agony he had endured while bonded, then separated from John, was now gone. But a lingering ache in his heart and the knowledge of what he had just lost … pressed down on him. His professional façade was strong enough to cover this and when he returned to the common room for his last meal with John and his friends, Ianto knew he would be able to cope. Only his heart reminded him that he wished that terrible ceremony he participated in less than ten minutes ago, had never taken place.
By the time Cookie had laid the steaming plates of food down on the table, everyone except John and Ianto were at the table. They waited for the last two to arrive, Jones being the only person in that complex whose heart was full of hope, expectation and excitement. The rest hid how they felt about what had happened and what would soon happen, beneath an exterior of bluster and convivial conversation. Even V'dahna did not sparkle quite as brightly, as normal.
John led Ianto into the room by his hand and walked him over to the table, inviting him silently to sit beside him. The two men interacted normally with each other like two friends and with the rest of the team throughout the meal. As they relaxed afterwards with the alcoholic beverage known as V-dox on the sofas at the other end of the room, John and Redden ran a final check over the flight plan with V'dahna while Ianto helped Cookie with the dishes.
Cookie and Ianto moved to join the others on the sofas, Ianto filling the vacant spot by John while Cookie sat down by Redden. John then addressed his team for the final time. "Okay everyone, it's time for us to leave. I'm not sure how long I'll be there but at least I know I'll return safely because I've been assured that the Shadow Proclamation are not going to take any action against me. I'm completely confident that my mission will be successful and that Jones will win the heart and hand of his fair Prince!"
Smiles and chuckles followed John's statement and he gave them all a cocky grin. A little less lightly, John continued. "Of course, this is where we must say good-bye to both Jones and Ianto. I know you got to know a little about Ianto in his time with us, as he got to know you all!"
John's team all stiffened at the implied accusation, the mood changing. "Ianto has spoken up for you all … explained his lack of co-operation with all you tried to do for him. Therefore in the circumstances, and especially for his sake, there will be no consequences concerning your careof Ianto while I was away. And here I have to especially thank you, Cookie, for being there for him at all times."
Relief was obvious when John had finished speaking. Only Redden continued to blame himself for not doing enough for Ianto … and now it was too late. They all stood up when John shot to his feet, pulling Ianto up gently by his hand.
Ianto and Jones said their good-byes to John's team; Ianto lingering a bit longer with Cookie and hugging only him. "Thank you", Ianto whispered in Cookie's ear.
"You're welcome", Cookie whispered back and gave Ianto an extra squeeze of affection, "and you take better care of yourself, you hear me?" Ianto pulled out of Cookie's hug and grinned at the man, nodding his head. Cookie watched as he and Jones went to stand by John as he pulled them both in close to his side.
John's team smiled and waved their farewells as their Captain punched in the code for their return journey to Earth. White light appeared and expanded, engulfing the three men. When it faded, the three men had gone, beginning their rocky trip back to the 21st century. Redden and Cookie looked over at each other, a silent message passing between them as they moved to join the rest of the team back at the table for an evening of cards and drinking.