A/N: Thanks muchos for all your lovely reviews! I've finally updated... I've been really busy with my portfolio for uni and so on... Well I hope you like the chapter. And I'll try to update soon!

:)

The weirdest thing happened.

Yes, I understand that there are many variations to the word 'weird'. One of the definitions would be my sister, Lily.

But I'm not talking about her. I'm talking about 'odd squelchy-in-the-heart feeling' weird.

I saw Mia after school today when I was fixing Kenny's laptop at Computer Club. Oh, no. I do not like her, okay? I know I said she was cute, but hey, I think lots of girls are cute! Buffy, Britney Spears, erm… Lana Weinberger? Well, sort of. But really, I do not like her. And I will not. No matter how many times my demented sister may raise her eyebrows at me and snigger when I'm around Mia.

Well, anyway, I was walking along, holding the laptop, and I happened to bump into someone. The person went sprawling and spilt the contents of their bag. I looked down. It was Mia.

She scrambled about, picking her things up hurriedly. I helped her pick something up from the floor and that's when I noticed.

It was lipstick.

I looked her and did a double-take. She was wearing lipstick and I'd thought her hair had looked a little different. When I stared at her, she looked at me in horror as if she'd just been caught doing something bad and stood up quickly. That's when I noticed she was wearing pantyhose.

I stared at her transfixed. I couldn't quite move and I don't know why and what it was but, I felt something swooping in my stomach like I had to throw up or something. But in a good way. If that makes sense.

"Look- don't tell Lilly." Mia said sounding terrified.

What?

"Don't tell Lily what?" I asked her.

I didn't understand why she was all dressed up so hot. NO, er, not hot. Oh, alright, so she looked a little hot. It's not a crime to think someone looks hot, is it?

Then it struck me. "Thermopolis. Are you… going on a date?"

Mia looked at me as if I'd asked her if she was going to dance naked at the next pep rally.

"What? NO! I'm going to meet my grandmother!"

Yeah, right. Who meets their grandmother wearing pantyhose and lipstick.

I told her that.

"Look, just don't tell Lilly, alright?"

And she rushed off and this bulgy looking guy followed her.

'Not going on a date'? Yeah, right.

I felt really funny. I don't know why. I sort of shook myself out of the daze and then noticed that Kenny and some other freshman were standing there with their mouths open.

Little perverts.

"Shut your mouths before they drop off, you little twerps." I snapped at them. I shoved Kenny's laptop into his skinny little arms and went off to get my bag.

As I went to get my bag, Felix caught up with me. "Moscovitz, what's the matter? You look quite red."

"What? I don't look red." I was utterly confused. But I did feel a little hot. I got a glimpse of my reflection in Judith's computer and that's when I saw a lobster-boy staring back at me.

"I'm just going home." I said.

Judith almost leapt up from her desk.

"What? Already? Why?"

"Oh. Er- just some stuff to do."

"Are you sure you're alright?" Felix asked again.

"Yeah yeah yeah," I snapped. "It's just… she… nevermind. I'll see you later."

I swung my bag over my shoulder and started to go.

She had a date. A date. How could she have a date?

"Who? Who has a date?"

What?

Felix and Judith were staring at me, waiting for me to explain who had a date.

Had I- had I been thinking out loud?

"No one." I laugh a little awkwardly. "I was just… singing."

"What do you mean?" Judith suddenly asks. "Who has a date? Do you like someone? Who is she?"

What was this? The Spanish Inquisition?

"No one. I like no one." I snapped at her.

"Yeah right." Felix snorted. I glared at him and shook my head towards Judith who was almost steaming foam from her mouth.

That girl is seriously scary.

Felix smirked at me. "I saw you talking to some brunette chick. Nice legs. Must be her, eh?"

I tried to say something. I honestly didn't.

I just managed to hit a new shade of red and start spluttering pathetically.

"NO! Not her! She's just… three years younger… has a DATE. I don't… I don't like… I don't like her, okay?"

Felix seemed to appreciate my performance. Just wait till I see him later.

"Do I know her?" Judith snapped at me.

"NO." I almost shouted. Goodness knows what would happen to Mia if Judith knew.

"Michael!" Kenny the Freshman Geek came towards me. "Thanks for my, er, laptop. Erm. You know Mia? Cus I just saw her talking to, er, with you just now, or something. And erm, I was, er, wondering if you could, maybe, er, talk to her for me, or something?"

I don't know why I reacted that way but according to Felix, I 'definitely showed that Freshman!'.

"NO! She's off limits! Do you understand?" I bellowed like a freak. Kind of like my sister. Nooooo. "Off limits!"

"But, erm, why? She's, er, not going out with anyone, is she? Or something?" Showalter rambled on pathetically.

"She's not interested in you, okay?" I snapped at him. "Now, shove off, kid. Or do you want me to introduce you to a new type of virus I coded the other day?"

"Er, no! NO! Sorry Michael. Or something!" And he scurried off.

Felix was smirking like a pig. Judith looked like she'd been slapped. (I wish she had been slapped)

"You and Mia THERMOPOLIS?" Judith shouted. Oh excellent. Now everyone in the Computer Lab was staring at me.

"NO!" I shouted. "NO! She's just… I DON'T LIKE HER, OKAY?"

"I can't believe this!" Judith ran out of the room, slamming the door shut behind her.

Now all eyes were on me. I stared at Felix, sending him telegraphic messages to save me, his oldest friend. I knew he got what I meant because he smiled at me pleasantly and went to work on his laptop.

"I do not like Mia Thermopolis," I say to the silent room. "I don't. Good evening to you all."

And I left.

'Good evening to you all'. What am I? A sad TV presenter who plays games with his own socks?

Hey, I may as well be, with my new reputation as the Freshman-molestor. Courtesy to Felix.

What a great friend.

There's a knock on my door.

"Open up, idiot."

Oh, it's my charming little sister. In every way charming. Just charming.

I'm very surprised that she's actually knocked. I didn't realise she knew how to.

"I heard what happened today."

Wait. What did she hear? She couldn't have heard that! No one talks about the Computer Club!

"I got a very interesting phone call from Judith Gershner."

NO.

"WHAT? SINCE WHEN DID YOU TALK TO THAT FREAK?"

"No, no, Michael. I got this very lovely voicemail message."

And there's a little beep.

"MICHAEL. I KNOW YOU'RE FRUSTRATED BECAUSE I'VE BEEN PLAYING HARD TO GET BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO GO AFTER THAT FRESHMAN GIRL! MIA- WHATSHERNAME! YOU CAN HAVE ME, ALRIGHT? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D JUST GO OFF WITH HER! CALL ME RIGHT NOW!"

/beep/

What is this? Some psycho drama?

Wait, of course it is. It is, after all, the life of Michael Moscovitz.