Omigosh!! I'm so sorry I haven't updated!!!

My lame excuse is that it's my final year of school and I'm extremely busy with uni. applications!!

I hope this chapter makes up for the missed time and I promise that I will update next week. Honestly.

A/N: I don't own PD.

Surprises and Josie. You know Josie.

"No, Mia. You're doing it wrong."

I grab the pencil from her to show her how to solve the equation properly.

And that's when I try to stop myself from going bright red in the face like an eight-year-old girl because our hands make contact.

Fantastic. I sound like a little girl and a loser.

I mentally give myself a shake and let As Mia bends forward slightly, working on her next problem, I breathe out and look around the room. And see the deeply disturbing view of Boris Pelkowski with his arm around my beloved sister's chair. Eurrrgh. How on earth did that happen? But I do suppose musicians aren't exactly known for their stable/NORMAL relationships.

"Erm, Michael? Did I do this one right?"

I shift myself back straight on the chair and lean slightly to see her work.

That's when our legs sort-of touch.

Oh no.

"Review session go well?" Felix asks snidely, leaning over from his computer screen.

"Quite alright, thank you." I shoot back, glaring. "In fact, she's making a good progress."

"Oooh, I bet there's progress."

"Shut up!"

"What are you boys whispering about?" Comes a sickly sweet voice.

Oh nooo. Please can't I have just one day when she doesn't hassle me?

Slowly, I look up from my laptop.

Judith leans with one hand on the table. "Soooo? Whatcha talking about then?"

Whatcha talking about? Since when did she start talking like… that!

"You haven't been talking about me, have you?"

I quickly glance at Felix, horrified. He proves himself worthy of "Friend of the Year" award by raising his eyebrow and smirking.

To my horror, Judith sort of lifts herself up onto the table into a sitting position and crosses her legs.

"Actually, Judith, Mikey and I were talking about you." I can almost hear the glee in Felix's voice.

"Is that right, Michael?" She gives me this really odd look that I think she's trying to pull off as "coy".

"Er, erm, you know, just a casual mention," I manage to stammer out. "About what a great computer club president you are!"

To my surprise (and displeasure), she tips back her head and starts shrieking with laughter while combing back her hair with her fingers.

Great. The entire computer club is looking at us now. Me and freak girl.

"Computer club?" She giggles, managing to sound a bit like my sister Lilly. "I'm sooo sure, Michael. Come on. You can ask. I mean, I know you're going to. It's obvious!" She looks at me encouragingly.

What?

I look at Felix, once again, and he stares back at me looking genuinely puzzled.

"Ask you what?"

Judith rolls her eyes but in a fond way. "Ask me to the Cultural Diversity Dance, silly!"

WHAT?

Has she finally lost it?

I knew she was off her rocker but what on earth makes her think that I had any intention of asking her out? To a DANCE?

I wouldn't even take her to a vending machine in the corridor.

I take a look at Felix who is having a laughing spaz attack behind his Calculus textbook. I take a look at Judith's expectant face. I look around the room and see my fellow computer geeks goggling at us like we're on display.

As if that's not bad enough, Felix starts going "Oooooooh!" and the entire room joins in.

"Oh, don't be silly, you lot." Judith coos, looking delighted. Someone needs to punch that girl.

"Come on, Michael, don't be shy!" Adam from 11th grade shouts.

"Yeah, Michael!" Kenny the Geek calls out. "I mean, I'm going to have to do it too! I'm gonna ask Mia tomorrow!"

Amidst the new breakout of "ooooohs" at his revelation, my brain seems to freeze up.

"Showalter." What am I doing? Why does my voice sound so weird? "I need to talk to you. Outside. Now."

Kenny looks puzzled. "Why? Is it important?"

"Michael!" Judith gives a shrill little laugh. "Can't we…er… finish this before you go?"

With that, I almost leap up.

"Showalter. I have to talk to you now." I snap. "Come on."

Kenny gets up and follows me out of the room. As he shuts the door, I hear Judith shout, "Michael! Come back here!"

"So, er, Michael. What's this about?"

Okay. Start off with a random topic. Mix it up. Confuse him!

"Just wondered if you're applying for treasurer position next year! I could give you loads of tips! I mean, it's quite difficult counting the number of people in the club…" I trail off weakly.

Kenny looks taken aback. "Er, no, I was planning to run for vice president." But then he gets into it. "You see, I think that as VP I can get more people interested the club with several tactics. One of them being…"

He dribbles on for ages, talking about computers and its relationship with humans until I can't stand it anymore.

"LOOK, YOU CAN'T GO OUT WITH MIA." I blurt out.

Oh, did I really have to be so straight to the point?

Kenny stares at me, understandably perplexed. "W-what? I don't understand… erm… W-why can't I go out with Mia?"

Because if you do, I can't have her?

Because I think you are a sad freak and quite frankly she deserves better?

"Because… erm… BECAUSE I think she is a lesbian." I hear myself saying.

WHAT?

"WHAT?" Kenny voices my precise thoughts, his eyes almost popping out. "S-she's not… Surely, she's not a…"

Oh crap, what on earth have I done?

But to my horror, I feel myself nodding as I continue. "Yep. Plays for the other team. Swings the other way. Shoots into the other goal."

His mouth opens and shuts a few times like a little goldfish. If goldfish were to wear big thick geeky glasses.

"Sorry, man." I try to say sympathetically, patting him on the arm. W-wait… So am I actually going along with this lesbian thing?? I am a terrible person. Hey, but it's working!

"B-but Mia!"He finally manages to stutter. "I mean, she's not really… you know… Well, I do suppose she didn't have any boyfriends or anything. And she's one of those really zealous vegetarians…"

I'm nodding along as he says all this. "And look at the person she hangs out with," I add, helpfully. "Her best friend is a raving psychopath."

Kenny considers this for a minute. "Wait, isn't Lilly your sister?"

"Oh well, you can't help who you're related to." I say dismissively. "It's all unfortunate genetics. Kind of like Mia and her, ahem, sexual orientation."

"I.. I still can't believe this," Kenny murmurs. He looks around as if to make sure that this wasn't a dream. "I thought she was the perfect girl for me."

I feel my fists clench by my sides.

"OH WELL," I exclaim so brightly that I frighten myself a bit. "More fish in the sea, eh?"

He shakes his head. Oh no, he looks like he's about to cry. "B-but she was so p-perfect. Just like Josie."

Josie? Who the flipping heck is Josie?

"Josie?" I ask. "Ermmm… Ex-girlfriend?"

Haha, sooooo likely.

"I wish." Then he starts gabbling excitedly. "She's this character from Josie and the Pussycats?"

He looks at me expectantly as if I'm to show any recognition of who she is.

But ermmm… Josie and the Pussycats? Is that some sort of stripper show? I have a feeling that this conversation will be mentally scarring.

"She's a character on Cartoon Network." He explains, visibly put out that I don't know this infamous Josie. "She's the lead singer of the Pussycats and they fight crime and stuff like that! Mega cool. I mean, I like all three of them but Josie's definitely the one for me. She's definitely got that hot leader vibe, you know? She's like my other half."

He looks all animated now. And then he continues his little ramble.

"Sometimes, I wonder if I could possibly, kind of, get into the TV screen and-"

"WELL," I stop him right there. How do I always end up talking to these freaks? "It seems to me that you should be… er… playing the field."

He looks at me all focused. "Playing the field?"

"Yeeeah. I mean, you're young. You're, erm, somewhat attractive. You've got lots of potential. You shouldn't be tying yourself down to one girl!"

Where on earth am I getting all this rubbish? Oh, I know. This is what Felix says to me all the time.

Kenny looks thoughtful. Oh dear, please don't tell me he actually believes me. But he suddenly looks up at me, all eager.

"Do you really think so? Play the field?"

I nod wisely, trying not to laugh. Think of orphans, Michael. Those poor unloved children. Abandoned. Discarded. Thrown away.

"Oh yes. Girls would die to have you." I manage to say with a straight face.

He straightens his tie, looking visibly cheered up. So much for Mia being his "perfect girl". Ha.

"Michael, er, thanks." He says quite bashfully. "You know. For this, er, talk."

"No problem, man." I say clapping him on the back. Oh and just to make sure… "So you're not gonna ask Mia to the dance, anymore, then?"

"Nope, I shouldn't think so. Like you said, a lot more fish in the sea," He says brightly. "Of course, if I get any birds, I'll let you know first."

Oh, no. Please no.

"Hahaha, yeah you better!" I laugh forcibly. "You go get them, kid!"

To my horror, he gives me what he probably thinks is a suave wink. Then he walks off with a new spring in his step.

"YOU TOLD HIM WHAT?"

I sigh. "Please don't give me a third degree. I mean, I had no choice. What would YOU have done?"

Felix stares at me. "Well, I WOULDN'T have told him that the girl he likes is a lesbian! What are you going to do if he tells people?"

Oh no. Haven't thought about that.

Out of all situations, why does Felix have to be so reasonable and sensible about this one? Why can't he laugh it off like he always does?

"Because this situation is completely stupid! And why are you talking about me in third person?"

Oh no. I've been thinking out loud again.

"Well, he doesn't have any friends, does he?" I snap. "It's not like he's going to tell anyone. Except maybe Josie."

"Josie?" Felix stares. "Who's Josie? Oh man, don't tell me there's another person involved in your messed up situation."

I roll my eyes. "You know. Josie and the Pussycats. The program."

He looks dumbfounded. "Wow, I didn't know Kenny knew any strippers."

"They're not strippers, you nut. It's an animation on Cartoon Network. They're a girl band and they save the universe or something." I pause, wincing as Felix starts honking with laughter. "Well, I didn't know that either."

Felix finally calms down, clutching his belly and says, "Well, you're right. He's definitely not telling anyone."

"Yeah, I said, didn't I?" I spin my computer chair around. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some important things to do. So you can show yourself out."

"Yeah right." He snorts, but thankfully he asks no more questions and picks up his bag.

When he finally leaves, shutting the door, I pull my legs up onto the chair comfortably and start thinking fast.

Now, how am I going to ask Mia out to the dance?

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Please tell me what you thought!