Breaking Down The Barriers

Jac had been awake for just over 3 hours, her mind constantly going over the events that had changed her life forever. Why did this have to happen to her? Jac wasn't used to all this sympathy, in fact she hated it. People saying how sorry they were, or 'I really don't know how you're coping so well with all this, I'm sure I couldn't do it'. By far the worst comment had to be 'I do admire you'. It made her shudder, why couldn't people just act normally around her, instead of saying things they felt they had to say because it was the standard thing to do. Jac was actually looking forward to getting out of bed. Today was the first time she had woken up feeling quite positive, the pain had reduced considerably, giving her the chance of a decent nights sleep in a week and a half. She knew it was going to be a long hard road ahead. Her biggest worry was, what was going to happen when she finally got discharged from the hospital. She knew she would have to accept help. She couldn't go back to her flat - Jac bemoaned the fact she lived on the third floor, without a lift.

Joseph walks in pushing a wheelchair.

JOSEPH: Hello, I thought I'd give you hand, you look so much better today.

JAC: Shouldn't you be working or something?

JOSEPH: I have the day off, on the strict orders of Mrs Beauchamp.

JAC: Lucky me, I get to have you fussing over me like a mother hen. Deep joy!

JOSEPH: Now Jac, don't be obstructive. You know what I can be like with difficult patients.

JAC: Force them to surrender with your charm and politeness no doubt. You may find me harder to please Mr Byrne.

JOSEPH: I'm ready for anything you care to throw at me Ms Naylor. As long as you remember - I'm the doctor and you're the patient. He smiles.

JAC:(Smiles much to Joseph's relief) It doesn't mean I have to do as you tell me.

JOSEPH: On the contrary, I think you'll find it does.

Joseph is relieved at Jac's slight change of attitude.

Joseph helps Jac into a standing position, he puts her arm around his shoulders for extra support. Jac puts some of her weight on her left leg, it feels weaker then she expects. Joseph can feel her wobble as she makes her way over to the wheelchair. He tightens his grip around Jac's waist. He gently helps her turn round and sit down.

JOSEPH: When you've regained your strength in the left leg you will be able to use crutches.

JAC: As long as I don't spend too much time in this chair, I don't care what I use.

JOSEPH: Right, as it's my day off, how about I treat you to coffee and a sandwich in the canteen?

JAC: Whoa! you are really pushing the boat out aren't you? I'm surprised you haven't got anything better to do on your day off?

JOSEPH: I just thought you'd like a change of scene that's all.

Joseph puts a shoe on Jac's left foot, as well as giving her a jumper. The trouser leg on her right side hangs loosely over the stump. Joseph opens the door for Jac and she wheels herself down the corridor. It's the first time she's been out of ITU since the accident. Jac felt very self concious, as though she had been locked up in a cage - and then released into the mercy of a different world. Jac had walked down this corridor so many times. But it had all changed now of course.

Sensing Jac's unease, Joseph gives her a reasuring glance.

JOSEPH: It will be OK, you'll be fine.

Jac fights the urge to turn round and go back to what she knew.

They sit down with their coffee and sandwiches, for a couple of minutes they say nothing. Jac breaks the silence.

JAC: Look Joseph, about the things I said to you the other day-

JOSEPH: You really don't need to explain-

JAC: Let me finish, please. I was so angry and confused, I wanted someone to blame, someone to vent my fustrations at. Not just because of the accident, but for everything else. I never feel like I get a second chance, I didn't with my mother and that hurt me, it took so much effort for me to let her back in. As you know I'm not good at forgiveness, but I just wanted to try. Only for her to up and leave. I should have seen it coming, but I didn't want to believe she would just take the kidney and run.

JOSEPH: No one deserves that, especially not from their own mother.

JAC: Maybe it was my punishment, for screwing everything up so badly, especially with you.

JOSEPH: It wasn't only you, who messed up. I spent so much time chasing shadows with Faye. I was hiding my true feelings from you because I was scared to you let you back in after everything...

JAC: You gave Faye so many chances, and yet even when I begged you twice, you've turned me down.

Jac's voice was now quivering as she fought so hard not to scream, "Why didn't you give me a second chance?"

JOSEPH: I know, with the benefit of hindsight I should never have married Faye, and I did have doubts - but I just thought I was being over cautious. Even when everything was flashing warning signs at me. I thought Faye would help me get over you, but now I realise I made a huge mistake. I knew I'd chosen the wrong person to be with. But I didn't know how to fix things between you and me. As I said before you do drive me around the twist. But when I was sitting by your bedside in ITU... I just hoped you'd wake up (chuckles) even if you did throw insults at me.

Jac's eyes are moist, as tears start to prickle her eyelids.

JAC: I know I can be a right cow sometimes.

Joseph with a grin and a glint in his eye he says..

JOSEPH: Really I hadn't even noticed!

JAC: (Laughs) Oi you! Seriously you've been the only person that I've opened up to. I never thought that would happen. You are so different from me, kind, honest, always ready to put your trust in someone. Then I come along and rip you, and you're family apart, for the sake of my ambition. And by the time I realise what I've done, and that I do love you it was too late... I'm so sorry.

Jac's voice trails off. Joseph can see the sorrow and regret in her eyes, he reaches out across the table and holds her hand tightly.

JOSEPH: We've both been running in circles, trying to escape the past for different reasons. But lets put it behind us. You said earlier about not being given a second chance. Well here it is. I love you, I always will.

Jac finally gives in and lets the tears flow freely down her face.

JAC: I promise I won't mess it up this time.

Joseph gets up and hugs Jac, wiping her tears away with the pads of his thumb. His own voice cracking with emotion he says...

JOSEPH: We'll make it this time, I know we will...

Again I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please review. Thanks