The Abyss, Chapter 2

It was just after 9am and the caff was unusually quiet, giving Jane time to reflect on her troubled life. She recognised how hard Ian was trying to repair their marriage but the truth was even if she could forgive him for the abortion, she had fallen out of love with him long ago. She recognised now that she had married him because he represented safety, she had cared for him but had she ever really loved him? She had put up with is controlling and miserly attitudes because she valued the security his work ethic brought and she did admire his dedication to his kids, even if his relationship with them was sometimes difficult!

All this was unsettling enough but now there was Masood. They had always been good friends, and strayed towards something closer in the past, but now they had crossed the line between friends and lovers and she was both exhilarated and terrified. She was also confused; she didn't know what Masood was going to do next and the thought of facing up to Zainab ... it gave her a whole new insight on how hard it had been for Christian at least that had turned out well. His happiness had restored her faith in love, and made her long for a relationship as ecstatic and intense as Christian and Syed had found with each other.

Her thoughts were shaken by the shrill voice of Zainab.

Fifteen minutes later she was standing at the blue door ringing the bell. With no sign of a response she used her keys and let herself into Christian's darkened flat. There were remnants of Syed's clothes strewn across the floor, an empty vodka bottle and a broken glass on the table. She walked over to the bed where Christian lay and steeled herself. Well he was breathing anyway, she crept closer. He was sleeping, his cheeks tear stained and blotchy and he was hugging one of Syed's trademark checked shirts, but looked physically unharmed.

So, Zainab must have been telling the truth, Syed had left him. After all that they had been through, what on earth could have made Syed decide to go back to Amira.

She guessed by the soundness of his sleep he must have been drunk and exhausted, so she texted Ian to tell him she had shut up the cafe, then quietly cleared up, made coffee and settled herself on the settee to be there when he woke.

She didn't have long to wait. Within an hour he started to stir calling out for Syed, Jane touched his shoulder and clutched his hand until those piercing green eyes focussed on her and she watched the emotions etched on his face as the mist cleared and the stark reality hit him. "He's gone, Jane"

"I know Christian, Zainab has wasted no time in telling the whole square. She says it just proved that you had seduced him and that he was never truly gay. What happened?"

He struggled to his feet, wrapped himself in his dressing gown and accepted a coffee and began to tell Jane about Qadim's visit.

"You know Jane whoever said it was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all never really experienced love. When Qadim walked out I pleaded with Syed, I told him that however much he loved his child he couldn't sacrifice his whole life because of one mistake, but he didn't even hear me out. He just ran out after Qadim and then they both returned with some if the henchmen in tow.

"As soon as I saw the smug look on Qadim's face I knew Syed had agreed to go with him. Syed walked right past me with his head down and headed through to pack his clothes. I tried to follow and talk but they held me back. It was only when he walked out of the door he turned to face me. He just said sorry and left."

The tears were rolling freely by now. "What do I do now Jane? I don't even know where he is. I wish Qadim had finished me off last time – to have tasted paradise and had it torn away from you is just too much to bear."

"Don't talk like that Christian, I am here for you. We will get through this I promise; maybe we should just get away from here and leave this tangled web behind us."

Her words sounded just as hollow to her as they did to Christian, because neither of them could see any light at the end of the tunnel.

They sat in silence, each trying to make some sense of the last 24 hours, neither wanting to venture out to face the cruel world. Eventually Christian stirred and headed for a shower leaving Jane to prepare some lunch.

As the water streamed down his body Christian's mind was filled with memories of Syed, his wet unruly hair, his coy fluttering eyes and the touch that could be anything Christian wanted it to be – playful, provoking, domineering or sweet and gentle. He shook himself looked at his hollow face in the mirror and reached for a towel.

As he did a piece of paper fluttered down to the floor. He bent down and instantly recognised Syed's scrawled handwriting, and suddenly with a few hurriedly scribbled words things didn't seem quite so bleak.

"Trust me, I will be back. Love you always, Sy"

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