Ello der, continue with thine story of doomness. *Onward!*

Disclaimer: Hoggle stole my copyright papers and sold them to Hollywood for a plastic watch. Blame him that I don't own it. DAMN YOU HOGGLE!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*EFFIN AWESOME LABYRINTH FIC OF DOOM!*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

CHAPTER 3:

Koneko learns about random crotch bulges

"Beep boop bop, your android broke." I said, feigning death.

"Koneko, get up." Mel growled. I sighed and got back up, realizing something as I did.

"Um…Meeeel?" I said sheepishly, she turned to me with her purple hair bouncing angrily.

"WHAT!"

"I has an idea…" I meeped. (It's not a real word. Just saying…Perhaps I should make a weirdo dictionary?)

"What would be thine idea?"

"Perhaps we could ask the eye-things?"

"Uh…worth a shot. Good girl." She smirked, patting me on the head as we knelt down to the blinking orange eyes imbedded in the wall.

"Can you speak?" I cocked my head.

"Wooaweawwaaweaaeoaoai?" They moaned.

"Engrish?" Mel added.

"WHOA! Yup." The eyes nodded.

"Coolio, which way to the castle pleeeease?" We both drew out the 'please'. They looked one way, to the left. It was a wall. Apparently, it was where the wall became a tunnel.

"Alright, now left or right?"

"Leeeeft." they blinked.

"Thank you." I waved as we disappeared down the rocky tunnel.

WHOA! NOW WE'VE TRAVELED FOR AN HOUR!

"Um, Mel?" I squeaked, pointing to an angry giant thing-a-ma-bob. This odd thing-a-ma-bob had a blue mess of hair atop three faces with different expressions on them, attached to that was what looked like to be a suit of armor. The happy, and sad faces had their eyes closed.

"WHO are YOU!" The thing shouted.

"I didn't see this in the movie…" Mel whispered.

"I AM MINDORO! DESTROYER OF WORLDS!" I shouted back, taking a hero pose. Mel hit me on the arm.

"I'm Mel, and this is Koneko. We wanna find the castle, you know which way to go?"

"WELL MINDORO! I CHALLENGE THEE!"

"EEP! My name means kitten! I'm a fake! A fake I tell you!" I sobbed. The sad face opened it's eyes and swiveled around.

"I understand your pain and suffering." It wailed.

"Then take a noble cookie for your pain." I said handing the thingy an Oreo. It took it and swiveled to a happy face.

"The castle is that way, valued Cimmerian!" Mel smiled, taking my hand and dragging me away in the direction the thingy pointed.

"Dude…He just called me emo in Greek. He is the most kick ass thing I've ever seen. I want to go high five him!" I screamed, trying to scramble back.

"No! And you're not emo, you're just slightly pessimistic at times!" She hit me on the head.

"Okey dokey…" I sighed. "So…that dude thinks I live in perpetual darkness…That does describe the bathroom in our apartment…"

"Heh." She chuckled, "He probably meant Samaritan."

"Someone from Samaria?" I said just as I had a realization. "Dude. Jareth is a Fay, right? All we need to do is find out his real name and we'd have complete control over him!"

"We have no idea what his real name is."

"…True."

"Ch. Nice plan." Mel scoffed.

"Well…Wait! I looked it up once! It's-"

End

Just kidding.

That'd be BS since it's really short.

But I updated a couple days ago…

But I'm not that mean.

"-Yeah…I have no idea."

"Jacob Jingle-Himer Smit?"

"No, that doesn't even have Jareth in it."

"Jareth Jingle-Himer Smit?"

"Maybe. JARETH JINGLE-HIMER SMIT! COME BEFORE US!" I shouted.

"What do you want?" Jareth appeared out of nowhere.

"HA! I WAS RIGHT!" Mel smirked.

"Jareth Jingle-Himer Smit, return us to our world with my heater!" I commanded.

"No." He crossed his arms.

"Mel. You weren't right." I glared at her. "What's your real name?"

"Bob."

"Really?"

"No. I'm not an idiot."

"Ch." I glared at him. "You are not a nice person."

"This is news?" Mel raised an eyebrow.

"Noooo, but stuff!"

"You make no sense. Ever." Jareth just shook his head and disappeared.

"WELL AT LEAST I'M A MAMMAL!" I screamed in the direction of the castle. "AND I DON'T HAVE RANDOM BULGES!"

"What about your chesticals?"

"Those are not random bulges, they are there for a reason."

"Well so are Jareth's crotch bulges. See, he makes the babies and you feed them."

"With random crotch bulges?"

"Yes Koneko, with random crotch bulges."

"Oh. Makes some sense I guess…"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*END!~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hur….I like this chapter.

Chaotically yours,

Ko-Chan!(OR IS IT!)