Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the Twilight Saga. The sole ownership belongs to S. Meyer. Copyright infringement is not intended.
Warning: This chapter deals with domestic violence, sexual assault and abuse. Not to mention I dropped the F-bomb a few times as well as other obscenities and sexual references. So if this bothers please don't read. With not really knowing much about Alice's human life I felt like I could take a lot of liberties writing this chapter. As she explains it, her life before she was a vampire was complete darkness. And as easy as that may sound it was a whole lot harder to write. I wanted her life to be tough so hopefully it comes across that way if I did my job right. Also this is the last chapter with Bella as an angel and we also meet one of the more sinister and sleazy characters in Twilight as well. I also want to point out that the grammar in this chapter is intentional.
Play List: Pictures of You (The Cure), Happiness (The Fray), Look After You (The Fray)
~0~
The Future of Mary Alice Brandon
Life for my charge couldn't get much crueler. Days and nights would go by as I listened to Mary Alice's cries. She'd cry for that much needed change that sometimes would take hours for her mother to respond and she'd cry to be fed and some day's food just wasn't available in the house. But mostly Mary Alice would cry just to be held, to be loved. Since her mother couldn't provide that, I did.
What a contrasting difference between Rosalie and Mary Alice. One grew up with wealth, privilege and very much loved and the other would grow up in want. Another stark difference between the two was that Alice loved to be held, touched and played with while Rosalie was more of a free spirit in that regard. She loved to be fawned and fussed over as a child but by the Grace of God she hated to be held.
It was another one of those nights that Mary Alice's parents stayed up until the wee hours of the morning fighting and arguing about what they did not have. Never once did they ever sit down and try to figure out a solution that might actually alleviate some of their problems.
This drove Mary Alice's father to spend money that they would have had other wise spent on food. He chose to spend it on alcohol instead. He would spend hour after hour down at the local bar just trying to drown his sorrows. He thought often of the time he spent before meeting her mother. If only he had not gotten Mary Alice's mother pregnant there wouldn't have been a shotgun wedding to save her honor and he would have been a free man. Instead, he was a married to a woman that he didn't love, a father of five rambunctious, whining children all less than seven years and he was aged well beyond his years.
I carefully picked Mary Alice up from out of the top dress drawer that served as her resting place night after night because they could not afford a crib or bassinet. Swooshing side to side, I rock the tiny child in my arms and listen to the fight brewing down stairs.
"Oh, it's two o'clock in the morning and Henry finally decides to stroll in the door." The child's mother said sarcastically.
"I'd shut that hole on your face, Estelle, right now or I'll shut it for you." He swaggered through the front door and plopped down on the ratty worn sofa in the parlor.
"So," Estelle began. "How much did you spend this time down at Ray's Pub?"
"Never you mind, bitch." Henry's words slurred.
"Never I mind! Never I mind! It's been three days since your children last ate something besides rotten cabbage soup. I'm not even lactating anymore, so I can't even feed Alice." She bent over the couch that Henry was sitting on getting right in his face.
Arguments like these never ended well for Estelle.
"I said shut your damn face, woman!" He flew from the sofa pushing Estelle into the wall on the far side of the parlor. "Keep it up and I'll make sure that I rearrange that damn ugly face of yours so that no man will ever want you when I leave your sorry, saggy ass someday."
I could distinctly hear the sound of the back of his hand hitting against the soft tender flesh of Estelle's face. Mary Alice's mother slide to the floor whimpering as Henry now towered over her. He kicked her bruised legs a few times adding more injury to what was already there.
"You listen here and you listen good, woman! I decide you got that? I decide when and where my hard earned money goes to. And if I want to pour that damn money into Rays, well, that's just what I will do. I don't need trash talk from an overly used woman who can't even get my dick to stand up any more. Hell, are you sure that that child up stairs is mine? I can't even tell you the last time I was anywhere aroused by the sight of your naked ass."
Just like clockwork, Mary Alice's older brother, Jeremiah, came rushing to the top of the stairs. Like always he was visible shaken by the sight of his fighting parents.
"Momma, you okay, momma?" He asked meekly.
Estelle continued to glare at her husband.
"Woman, you better tell that boy to get his lousy little ass to bed or I'll do it for him. And he won't like it when this here belt woops his behind." Henry said tugging on his belt buckle.
"Yes, Jeremiah, just go back to sleep. Daddy and I are just discussing a few things that's all." The boy turned regretfully and headed back to bed hiding under the covers as if to be spared from what's to come.
"There are you happy now, Henry, you're waking the children."
"There wouldn't be any children to wake up if you had left you mouth shut like I asked you to in the first place."
I quickly and quietly placed a sleeping Mary Alice back into the open drawer. Henry was dragging his whimpering wife up stairs. As I couldn't leave the child, I turned my back on the display that unfolded before me.
I could hear Estelle forcibly being thrown to the bed. The tearing of old worn out clothes followed next.
"Awe, shit, Estelle. Would you look at those? The damn things are almost hanging to your Goddamn knees. How the hell am I suppose to fuck something that looks like that? You used to be so damn pretty. Now look at you, you saggy sorry bitch of a woman. Shit, you ain't even a whole woman any more. Hell, I suppose I'll just fuck you anyway. I guess you'll do."
I could hear Henry release his belt buckle and have his abusive way with Estelle. With ever thrust that he pounded into her he called her every ungodly and unsavory name in the history of mankind. And Estelle would take it. She had to. What little bit that Henry gave, it was the only piece of security that Estelle had.
I prayed long and hard that Mary Alice would one day find a love so great and that man would love her with all his being, that he would rather die then to see her have one second of unhappiness. A man that would wrap his arms around her night after night, professing his undying love for her. Whispering those sweet nothings in her ear making her giggle. A love that has romance and passion, a love that is never ending, a love that is forever. Eternal.
Nobody should have to go through life like this. Not even Estelle Brandon.
~0~
Nine months later one and a half year old Mary Alice was moved into the bed with her older sister, Sophia Marie, to make room for her new baby brother Jonathan.
The fighting continued and in fact got progressively worse with the arrival of another child. But I took comfort that Mary Alice didn't have to be in the same room with them anymore. She still took comfort in my arms night after night and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I told her stories of angels and Heaven and Mary Alice would listen intently. I didn't think it was wrong to do so as she would eventually forget what was told to her.
Her first word was angel and I beamed at her like a proud parent when the word flawlessly flowed from her lips. That should have been my first indication that Mary Alice was going to be quite different compared to normal children her age.
My bonding only grew with the child over the years. In fact those few times that Estelle did try to offer her young daughter some comfort, Mary Alice would turn away telling her distraught mother that she only wanted her angel. Her mother passed it off as her daughter was obviously having grand flights of fantasy.
She would regale the family with tales about what we did, where we walked, the pretty daisies she collected with me. Thank Heaven above that I got passed up as an imaginary friend.
By the time Mary Alice was seven, I knew that this was going to become a problem. I had every intent in the world on talk to her about this. But I felt differently towards this child. It felt as if she were my own in a way.
We sat down in the field of daisies like we did every afternoon in the summer.
"You know, you are going to start school this fall with your brothers and sisters this year. Are you excited?" I strung together a chain of daisies making a crown for her.
"No, not really," Shaking her head and looking quite said. "I like being here with you."
"I'll always be here with you. You're stuck in my heart." She laughed every time I said that to her as if she could literally be stuck there. "Oh, you know what I mean, silly girl."
"Yes, I think I do. You mean to say that you love me." Mary Alice looked up at me with those deep blue eyes.
"I love you very much." I just wish I could have shielded her from cruel side of life.
"You're the only one who loves me." I wanted to tell her that it wasn't true but it was. Sometimes her mother had spouts of trying to care for her children. But most of the time she could really careless. They were only extra hands to help with the mounting chores around the house
I was very hesitant to bring it up but I knew that I could not keep Mary Alice like I wanted to. I needed to prepare her for the fact that she would soon come forget me. Or maybe I was more or less preparing myself for the simple fact that she wouldn't remember me anymore.
Usually, I'm not sad about this act as this is the normal process and supposed to happen. But this time I was sad indeed. I cursed myself for getting so caught up in this little pixie of a child. But how could I not?
"Mary Alice," I began sadly. "Come this time next year, you will probably forget that I ever existed. It's normal. All children go through this similar thing. I don't want you to worry because I won't be hurt when you do."
Truth be told, I would be this time. I could feel my heart breaking already. I felt more human than angel with Mary Alice.
Before another thought could enter my brain, she flung herself at me. Her little arms wrapped tightly around my neck. She cried, "I'll never forget you. I promise."
And some how inside I knew that she never would.
~0~
The night before school started Mary Alice told her nightly tales of what the two of us did this afternoon. It was a dinnertime ritual with her but this time it did not go over well with her father.
"Estelle, you better tell her that fairytales like these are not real and she better wise up for school. Talk like that will take you straight to the loony bin. Trust me. Same thing happened to your great auntie Sarah." Henry dug into his mashed potatoes not even paying attention to his devastated daughter. "She talked liked that, saying she could see people who weren't there and knowing things that she couldn't possible know other wise. Woman clearly had the devil inside her that's for sure. Same thing's gonna happen to you if you don't cut that stupid shit out." He pointed his fork at her. "Mark my words."
"Henry!" Estelle shouted at him. "She just a little girl." Her mother could have chosen to use this time to comfort the child but she walked away as if Mary Alice wasn't even in the room.
I was concerned for her. Despite the harsh words he sent sailing straight to his daughter, Henry was right. That kind of talk doesn't bode well for a child, especially when children are forced to grow up faster than they're supposed to.
~0~
By the time Mary Alice was sixteen her tendency towards the unknown seemed to grow exponentially. Like her Aunt Sarah, she just knew things. It never bothered me, as I knew that this was a byproduct of her life as an angel. But it made her father livid and her mother turned a blind eye. She made no secret to hide what she knew. Mary Alice told her mother on several occasions that Henry was having lurid and torrid affairs with women of an unsavory nature. Not only was he still spending hard earned family money down at Ray's, he was beginning to gamble it away as well.
Estelle kept it to herself as to where she procured that knowledge but Henry knew. And despite the repeated beatings she suffered at the hands of her father, Mary Alice never wavered from what she knew was absolute truth.
It wasn't until they exited church one Sunday that Mary Alice looked at her mother in an odd fashion. She immediately went pale as if from sickness and stopped in her tracks in the middle of the churchyard.
I whispered her name in her ear hoping to speed her along. She batted me away as if I was an annoying bug buzzing about her. Mary Alice was beginning to draw attention from a few church patrons. Everyone speculated that she was an odd child of sorts but no one knew for sure and her parents for the most part kept her secret. That secret would leak out at times when Henry was flat out drunk. But whether he was to be believed or not would remain to be seen…until now.
People milled about her asking if she was all right and like me, she waved them off. Embarrassment crept over the faces of her parents.
"She's not feeling herself, today." Estelle tried to laugh it off as she tightly grabbed hold of her daughters arm.
"No momma," Mary Alice refused to budge. I could only watch as I was bared from interfering. Everyone in this small town circled about the oddity standing in the middle of the churchyard. Desperately, I tried calling her name and encouraging her to move on but she continued to ignore me as well as her family. "I know something and if I don't say it now, it will kill me, I swear!"
"This is neither the time or the place for this, Mary Alice!" Her mother yelled.
"Girl, if you don't get a movin' you can take on you brother and sister's chores for an entire month. Do you hear me?" Henry looked around frantically at the bystanders staring at his daughter.
But she remained despite everyone's protests. "I know that in three days Jeremiah will fall from the tree, break his neck and he will die."
The town's folk gasped in shock at her accusations, whispering to each other that they had always known that little Mary Alice Brandon was crazy.
In a fiery fury Henry picked up Mary Alice and threw her over his shoulder. "Show's over people." He placed Mary Alice in the back of the truck bed with the rest of the children. Not a word was said as they drove back in silence.
She was ushered to her bedroom where she was told to stay for the rest of the day. Her parents thought her actions this afternoon cost her and she was sent to bed without supper. Mary Alice wept quietly as she lay on her stomach across the bed she shared with her sister.
"Why don't they ever believe me?"
"Because, Mary Alice, people don't want to believe in things that they cannot see. The unknown scares them." I caressed her long dark hair. "This world is filled with things that most people will never believe in. Things that are myths and legends, some of those things are real."
She propped herself up on her elbows. "Are fairies real?"
"Yes," I giggled. "But you have to know where to look for them. They're fast."
"But how would I know where to look for them?"
"They're there. You already have an open mind, you just have to be ready to see them before they show themselves to you."
"Do you think I am crazy?" She sat up all the way leaning against the headboard
"No," I leaned back with her on the bed and sighed. "I don't. Just because I don't see what you can, doesn't mean it isn't real. Like I told you, people tend to believe only what they can see or what they have been taught."
"People believe in God and they can't see Him."
"There are those who have extreme faith in Him, live by Him and for Him exclusively but most follow out of tradition." She watched me with rapt attention so I continued. "Like for instance, your parents, their parents went to church and their parents and so on. Church is a Sunday tradition for most and you will likely continue in this fashion with your family as well."
We talked a little while longer about God, traditions and even fairies until she closed her eyes, relaxed more and her breathing evened out.
I listened to her parents in the parlor talking quietly about Mary Alice's performance this afternoon. And this time, unlike most, they just talked.
"What are we going to do, Henry?" Estelle asked.
I don't know, Estelle, I just don't know." I could hear Mary Alice's father frantically pacing back and forth.
"She can't continue this way any more. I swear, I thought that this was something that she would just grow out of, but it seems to be getting worse with time."
"There is that place up in Monroe." Henry quietly suggested.
"No, good Lord, Henry," Estelle gasped and I could hear her hand slap against her mouth. "That place is a God forsaken whole in the wall for hospital. I can't allow her to go there."
"It's the closest damn facility, Estelle. And 'sides, it's state run. I'm not driving all over the Goddamned state of Mississippi looking for a place that may or may not take her based on the money I make. I can't afford nothin' private and you know that. We just ain't got that kind of money for that and she needs help, help that we just can't give her. That place up in Monroe will see her without a doubt." Henry almost, almost sounded sincere.
"But that's where they placed your Aunt Sarah and she ain't never got out." Estelle whispered.
"Yeah, died young too, but that Mary Alice is on her way to becoming every bit as crazy as she was. I just can't do it anymore Estelle. I just can't take all that shit that spews from her mouth. It ain't right and you know it, woman."
"Then I'll make the call Monday morning." Estelle sighed in either defeat or relief that soon their daughter will be in the hands of the state.
"See if you can get them to take her Saturday afternoon. I can't be taking time off work for this."
I looked down at the sleeping girl beside me. She had no idea of what lay in store for her come this weekend.
~0~
True to his word, Henry made Mary Alice take on the chores of rest of the family. The poor kid worked from sun up to sun down. She barely had time to sit and eat supper before her father ushered her off to clean and scrub down the kitchen for the night. Mary Alice was climbing into bed long after her sister fell blissfully asleep. She was so exhausted that our nightly chats were reduced to her telling me goodnight.
Despite the work that she was doing around the house, I knew the premonition of her brother's death still plagued her. Mary Alice was a nervous wreck by the time Wednesday rolled around but dared not to say anything under her mother's watchful eye.
She was out pumping water from the well when the teasing of her siblings began.
"You know, Alice, if you hadn't run your mouth Sunday you could have joined us down by the river for swim." Jeremiah said running past her.
She was ready to say something back but immediately caught her mother's deadly glare.
"Bring that bucket of water here, girl. These beans can't grow themselves without it." Her mother yelled as she threw vegetables in a basket.
It wasn't even an hour later when Mary Alice's younger brother Jonathan came running back.
"Momma, momma!" The child ran up to his mother out of breath and pulling on her hand. "You have to come now! Jeremiah fell out of the tree by the river and now he's not moving."
I followed the three of them down to the river where Jeremiah lay. I saw his angel standing at the foot of his head. He gave me a slow nod of acknowledgement before he disappeared.
Her mother picked up the boy and cradled him in her arms. She sobbed and cried over and over again, "My baby. My baby."
When she finally calmed enough to find words, Estelle turned to Mary Alice. "Go ring up Dr. Gerard and go down to Rays and drag your father home."
After ringing the doctor I followed my charge down to the local pub to get her father. She gathered up her courage to whisper in her drunken father's ear that he was needed at home and that there has been an accident.
After the doctor declared her oldest brother dead, Henry looked Mary Alice in the eye and without even a second thought pointed a finger at her, "This is all your fault. That boy would have never had died if you didn't curse this family! You have the devil in you, girl. I will not have this anymore in my house!"
He ushered his young daughter out of the house and into the back of the truck. Henry turned to his eldest daughter, "Tell your mother that I will be back in the morning."
Like a thief in the night, Henry took off down the road and headed for Monroe. She was being lead like a lamb to the slaughter whether she knew it or not. I pleaded with God to help Henry have a change of heart. I was only met with the silence.
Did he know what he was doing? What his flesh and blood would have to endure? It was nothing short of torture, the rounds of shock treatments, lobotomies, experiments in medication, the solitary isolation, and the unsanitary conditions. It was inhumane.
My plea went unheard. Maybe Lucifer was right and that this was nothing more than a game to Him.
Mary Alice's father reached Monroe by the wee hours of the morning and dragged his protesting daughter into the sanitarium.
Quietly he signed his youngest daughter into the asylum. She turned to run but was quickly met by a huge man who blocked the door. Her father left without a word just as an older gentleman was called down to fix Mary Alice into a straight jacket. This was officially out of my hands. Mary Alice pleaded with me out loud for me to help but I could do nothing. She was instantly ushered into isolation. The padded room was dark but to my eyes I could see the vermin that crawled along the edges of the room.
I told her that I was sorry but I was only met with screams as the bugs and insects in the room took an interest in her. This was disgusting. No human should have to lay in filth like this. What was the point of me even being here if I could not help those that I was in charge of. It was enough to drive an angel insane. Maybe I belonged with Mary Alice in this room. Where was my straight jacket? Nothing was working out like I had wanted it too.
I listened for hours, as Mary Alice did nothing but scream until she lost her voice completely. Nobody came by to see if she was okay. She had to be starving but she had given up. She lay limply in the filth of the room as the vermin crawled on her and around her.
It was evening before somebody came to check on Mary Alice. I shouted at the doctor who came in that she was not okay but it did little good as nobody ever heard me. It was then that I realized that the doctor that came in reminded me of the Good Doctor in Chicago. I searched out his nametag, Doctor Roberts. His golden eyes met Mary Alice's flat deep blue ones. He was an immortal.
I would not do this again. I will not encourage another into this life. Two people that I held dear, I forced into the life of a vampire, not this time. I will do everything in my power to make sure that Mary Alice does not get caught up in this life. Rosalie was not happy with her new life as a vampire and her only saving grace was the fact that she had somebody to share it with now. Edward was alone as a vampire, at least to my knowledge he still was and he utterly despised this immortal world.
Had I known the mess I would create in my wake, I would have never had done it.
The doctor was gentle with Mary Alice as he helped her sit up. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a silver pair of scissors. "Mary Alice, dear, I am going to have to cut your hair. It's hospital protocol."
She never said a word. Her beautiful eyes were lifeless. For all intents and purposes she was dead, betrayed by those who were supposed to love her. It broke my heart to pieces to see her like this. I would not and I could not do this again. I flat out refuse to be a charge over someone ever again.
I watched sweet Mary Alice's hair flutter to the floor of the padded cell. Her beautiful long dark hair was now cut blunt short. How many nights over the years did I run my hands through her hair, comforting the child and now I could do nothing of the sort?
My head shot up a millisecond before the doctor's. There was another immortal roaming the hospital. This could not be good. A place like this was a buffet for a vampire. You could kill and nobody would ever know. Death was almost expected to come to you in these types of facilities. I found it hard to believe that they actually wanted you to get better. The patients that were checked into these hospitals had no idea as to what they were really in store for, insane medical treatments that were funded by the government.
I was growing more and more cynical by the day. I no longer wanted to stay an angel and I regretted my decision to become human.
"James, I told you to wait in my office." The doctor said nonchalantly.
"But she smells so good, so delicious, delectable." I could hear him lick his lips in anticipation of what he thought he was about to feed on.
"Not this one."
He walked into the cell. James was tall around six foot one with dirty, scraggily blond hair tied into a low messy ponytail. He was dressed like the doctor so he passed as an associate without so much as a second glance from other employees. I had run into my fair share of vampires over the thousands of years and most if not all were beautiful beyond words but James reminded me of somebody that you found in a seedy bar. He looked every bit the murder that he was created to be.
James cocked his head at an odd angle and seemed to look directly at me. "She was made for me, Roberts. Do you not smell her? That blood. I had never smelled anything like it before. She has to be mine. Please?"
Doctor Roberts ignored him for a moment before speaking up. "James, I would never begrudge your life style of choice. Choose another for the time being."
His eyes stayed locked on mine as if he could see me and by now I wasn't so sure that he couldn't. 'She's mine.' He mouthed. I watched his lips turn into a sinister smile.
"Leave us, James and go feed. I need to do some routine check ups on my patient."
James reluctantly left the cell in search of meal of lesser standards.
I couldn't have even predicted what the doctor had planned next. He deftly untied the straight jacket and gently shrugged it off her shoulders.
"Mary Alice, I am so sorry for what I am about to do. But I can't let James win any more. I can't let him have you." He picked up her wrist and studied it. "You are too precious, for him just to drain and throw away."
Bringing her wrist up to his nose, he breathed in Mary Alice's sweet scent. Lightly he brushed his lips over the inside of her tiny delicate arm. Again and with no avail my attempts to stop him failed. This wasn't supposed to happen to her. I wasn't going to let it but yet it was impossible to stop it. Suddenly his razor sharp teeth sank into the translucent skin. Mary Alice winced in pain for the moment as the venom entered the blood stream.
"What?" James said snidely as he returned fresh from his recent feed. Blood still lingered on his bottom lip. "Look at what we have here. Selfish aren't we? Couldn't wait for me to leave so you could have her all to your self, huh?" He sauntered in closer to the doctor.
"James, it wasn't like that. This one is special. She has gifts. I can feel it." He deftly laid Mary Alice down on the padding.
"She had gifts alright. Her blood was a fucking gift." James snapped. In a blur his hand shot out and grabbed the doctor by the neck. He shoved him hard against the padded wall breaking it. The padding split open leaving the fibers on the floor.
"Shhh…she'll be one of us now. Think of the possibilities." The doctor stuttered.
"Her blood is nothing to me. It's tainted with your venom. She's not worth the kill now." He grasped the doctor's neck tighter. I could hear the subtle cracking of marble as his tough flesh began to give way. "Say, Roberts, how 'bout you join me in your cozy office? We'll get a fire roaring in that nice fireplace of yours. Do you think that they'll miss you? Doubt that they'll miss her." He nodded his head in Mary Alice's direction. "In fact I would be hard pressed to guess that the Volturi might get involved with this one. I mean how would one explain that an asylum of this size and magnitude that holds over a thousand people, everyone is dead, dying or simply turn by accident. You would have some serious explaining to do my old friend. But alas, I'm feeling quite generous this evening; I'll take of this little mess for you. She's not going anywhere for now."
James dragged the doctor off leaving Mary Alice behind. "Do you think that Victoria will like the new addition to our coven?" James trailed off.
I had to do something. She couldn't change here and I couldn't let her fall into the hands of James. I was powerless to stop her from being changed would I be powerless to move her? Would God block this from me? With ease I picked her up and draped her arm around my shoulder. "Come on Mary Alice, walk with me."
Thank the Good Lord in Heaven that the security in this wretched hospital was not tight. We easily made our way out of the hospital without so much as a glance in our direction. Everyone seemed extraordinarily busy. Not to mention that the only doctor on call this evening was becoming fuel for a seasonably unnecessary fire. As soon as we were in the clear I picked up Mary Alice and ran to the woods that surrounded the asylum. Hopefully, with me being of the angelic kind, James wouldn't be able to track our scent. He may not have known who was there but I was undoubtedly sure he knew that somebody of the unseen variety was lingering about.
I paid little attention to how long I actually ran with her. I had to find some place quick to let her rest. Jostling her around can't possibly help as she burned through the transformation. I was vaguely aware that Legacy followed close behind. I could let him stop me now.
Finally after hours of running, I came across an old abandoned hunting cabin. I laid her gently down on a worn mattress inside. The accommodations were slightly better than her padded cell but it would have to do. Mary Alice was far enough away from human that she wouldn't smell them upon awakening and the cabin no longer held any trace of human scent as well.
I sat beside her and deftly stroked her new short bobbed hair.
"Bella," Legacy rested a hand on my shoulder. "Come on. We have to go, it's time."
"I can't." I protested. "She's alone. It's not like the others; they had somewhere to turn when they were changing. She's going to do this by herself."
"Your time is over."
"I'm not leaving, Legacy."
"You can't undermine the Elders, Bella. They make the rules."
I shook my head in defiance.
"Bella, this isn't about you anymore. When she wakes, that child will no longer see you or hear you and all she's going to want is blood. She will be feral. You will have no way to control her. The Elders will not let you get anymore involved than you already are."
"That vampire James knew I was there. I can't let him come and find her. He'll kill her."
"You were imagining things, Bella. Vampires cannot see us. This is not up to you anymore. It's over. And if this James does find her, then maybe he'll help her transition."
I was pretty sure that this one could see me or sense that I was there. But I was not up for one of our famous arguments today.
"Lets go. You need isolation before your next assignment."
"No," I protested again. "No more assignments. I'm done. Done! What good am I if I cannot help those I'm in charge over? This is a game to Him and nothing more. He may not care for His creation but I do!"
"Bella, there is nothing we can do any more. It's time to go. The Elders are getting angry."
The room swirled around in a haze and I was back on my mountain top retreat…alone. I was done with this life. As much as I regretted my decision, I wanted my human life. I wanted to forget what I now know and start over. I screamed with wild abandon as the wind and the snow picked up, surely causing an avalanche or two somewhere.
The whipping winds and the snow became a blinding white wall as I watched with keen interest. I was captivated and entranced by the light coming off this wall. I realized that it wasn't really a wall at all but a tunnel of the purest white light that I had ever seen. Like a moth to a flame, I was drawn to it as it lulled me in its embrace. Like arms reaching out to hug me, the light and the warmth were indescribable. Never have I felt such warmth as this. Soon forgetting who I was, why I was here or even where I was. I had no recollection of my former life. This was peaceful, pure bliss. I couldn't imagine wanting anything else and I was content to stay just how I was. Forever
This was absolute happiness. Home. My eternity.
A/N: A big, big thank you to everyone that read, faved and commented on the last chapter. It makes my day…really. The next chapter is already started and I hope to finish it soon.