A/N: I'm seriously so behind on the chapters. OTL The Christmas one that is supposed to be published today isn't written yet.

"SHUSH, YA DIG?" the gang snapped at Tori.

"FLIPPING HELL!"

"WE TOLD YA TO SHUSH, GAL!"

"Where are you?" Mello demanded through the phone.

"AT THE CHOC-"

"SHADDAP!" the gang interrupted, knocking Tori's phone out of her hand.

But that was already enough for Mello to know. He immediately began sprinting towards the chocolate shop.

The gang leader held a gun at the girl's head. "I'M SO GANGSTAH CAS I CAN DEW DIS, DAWG!"

A bullet impaled the leader's hand, coming from the gun of a certain heroic blond head. Another gangster shot Tori in the leg in response.

"THAT KIND OF HURTS!" she hissed.

"FUCK OFF." Mello lost his composure and shot the other gang members with professional skills.

"MELLO. MY LEG… IT'S…"

"Where the fuck is Matt when I need him?" he muttered, reloading his gun.

"…Forget it, I'm fine. Damn."

The male teenager glanced at the girl. "What?"

She pointed to her leg. "Ow?"

"We'll have to walk to the hospital…" Mello picked her up without consulting her first, running out of the mall.

"...Why must you make this so much like a Twilight scene?" Tori complained. "This is so gay."

The chocoholic has never read the series. "Twilight scene?"

"Yeah. You know, that gay movie that comes out every year? It's like, I'm Bella and you're Edward." She paused before going on. "And Matt's that wolf kid."

Mello raised an eyebrow.

"Except you're not a sparkly fag."

"That's good to hear?"

"…Yeah. Do you even know where we're going?"

"Yes." The prodigy looked around, not sure whether to go left or right. "…No."

"…Goddamn."

"Lalalala, what a lovely winter morning!" some overly-happy stranger sang, strolling along the pavement.

"HEY, BYPASSER!" Mello roared aggressively. "WHERE'S THE HOS-"

"OMG!" the person screamed, running away.

"MELLO!" Tori scolded.

He stared at the fleeing figure blankly. "…What did I do?"

"YOU HAVE A BLOODY GIRL IN YOUR HANDS, AND YOU YELLED AT HIM!"

"…It was an emergency."

"You didn't have to shout."

"Hmm, what should I eat for lunch?" another stranger said to himself. "HMMM!"

"…BYPASSER!" the blond head yelled, once again.

"Huh?" the bewildered man spun around, seeing Tori with a bleeding leg. "Wh-what?"

"WHERE'S THE H-"

He ran away screaming, just like the previous person they asked.

"MELLO!" The girl face-palmed.

"…I can't help it."

"LALALAZ! YEY FOR CHRISTMAS SHOPPING!" a woman singsonged retardedly.

Tori decided to have a try instead. "Miss!"

"Huh?"

"My leg is-"

"AHHh!21!QzsADG87qey387!11!" the woman shrieked, fainting. "BL000DDZZ!"

"…I didn't do anything…" Tori stared at the limp body in disbelief.

Two Mello fangirls wandered past a pair. "Lolz so ya, i gotz a mello plushie and fuckd et last night!"

"OMGZZZ! CAN I USE ET AFTER?"

"SURE, GURLFRAN!"

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Mello blurted out with a disgusted expression on his face.

The girls glanced at him. " MELLOOO!11!QA!ZSGAWD87GE8R289FWHYEF9AS9DJ!"

The male backed away, still holding Tori.

"OMGZ ITZ DAT GIRL M3LL0 IZ DATING!" The rabid fangirls pulled out their purses and proceeded to whacking Tori.

"OUCH! DAMN!" the victim yelled, trying to defend herself with her arms.

Mello pulled out his gun somehow, aiming at the girls. "Get lost."

"OMG YEYS I GET TO DIE IN MELLO'S ARMS!" they squealed unexpectedly.

"…You're insane." He turned and fled in the opposite direction.

Tori took out her mobile phone and dialled Matt's number.

"Yeaaaahh?" the gamer said through the phone, with mild explosion noises coming from his DS.

"Help."

"With what? …Shit, red shell!"

"Someone shot me in the leg," she reported. "And some fangirls fucked a Mello plushie."

"…The latter was disturbing. So are you at the hospital?"

"We don't know where it is…"

Matt let out a snort of laughter. "Epic fail."

"...Screw you." Tori hung up.

"What now?" Mello asked, awesomely guessing accurately that Matt wasn't helping.

"I don't now…" she sighed, then added more optimistically. "We could talk."

"But your leg is bleeding."

"…Keep walking, then. So why did you let me live with you?"

"Because I wanted the chocolate," he stated bluntly.

"...Just for a chocolate bar?"

"Yeah."

"If you knew me like you do now, would you do it without the chocolate bar as a bribe?" Tori continued curiously.

He paused for few seconds. "…Maybe?"

"…Maybe?" she repeated. "Okay then. Question me, Mello!"

"…What do you think of Near?"

"He's such an ass. I don't see why everyone likes him."

"Don't ask me."

"Sure, he's better than you in some things but…" she wavered slightly. "COME ON, HE'S A FUCKING CREEPER!"

"Want to know what Tori's thinking?" the anonymous voice butted in nosily to Mello.

"…Sure?" he replied telepathetically.

"She thinks you're way better than Near!"

But Mello was dubious. "How would you know anyway?"

"I can read your mind too."

"We there yet? See anything?" Tori questioned.

"Nope," he responded out loud.

"I boreddddd," another male stranger said with bad grammar. "I so boreddd!"

"HEY YOU!" Mello yelled rudely.

"Shit, no-" the girl started.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?" the man snapped.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS THE HOSPITAL?"

"IT'S FUCKING OVER THERE!" The stranger pointed towards a corner. "TAKE A FUCKING RIGHT, THEN KEEP GOING FUCKING STRAIGHT!"

"THANKS A FUCKING LOT!"

"NO FUCKING PROBLEM!"

And so the stranger went on with his daily routine as if nothing happened.

"Mello, I don't like it when you swear," Tori glared at him accusingly.

He shrugged. "It emphasizes rage."

"You're angry…?"

"It was more like urgency, I guess."

"JUST GO!"

"Okay, okay!"

"What seems to be the problem?" the nurse asked, holding a clipboard and a pen.

"My friend was shot by a gang…?" Mello answered uncertainly. He forgot to make up a story beforehand. Tori had passed out before they reached the hospital.

"Your friend? What's her name?"

"Victoria." He forgot to make up a fake name too.

"Last name?"

Mello stayed silent. He had no idea.

"Last… name…?"

"…Campbell."

"And your name, sir?"

Blank.

"Sir…" the nurse pressed on. "We need a name."

"…Samuel Moore."

The woman wrote down the names on her clipboard, before motioning to leave. "Alright, would you like to watch your friend while you wait for the important person?"

"Okay...?"

"WHERE THE FUCK AM I?" Tori suddenly woke up, pulling out her gun and aiming at Mello.

He simply stared.

"…Oh, we're here." She lowered her gun.

"Okay, do-" The nurse entered the room again, her eyes widening when she saw the gun. "A GUN! GTFO GTFO GTFO! BEFORE I CALL THE COPS!"

"But my leg-"

"GTFO!" the nurse continued shouting, pointing at them.

Mello groaned. Stupid over-reactive people. He exited the room, only to be met by a crowd drawn in by the nurse's shrieking.

"OMGZ WHUT WAS DAT! IS DAT A GUN?"

He quickly escaped like a ninja while carrying Tori.

"Hey, didn't they ask for a first and last name?" she asked "...Do you know my last name?"

"...No." Then Mello tried to defend himself. "It's a good thing I didn't. I said your first name without thinking."

"Does Matt know your real name?"

"Nope."

"...Do you know it?"

He gave the girl an incredulous stare. "Of course I do."

"Erm, why can't we use my real name?"

A large television built into one side of a building began broadcasting the latest news. "The same couple who have been known to cause an uproar at the restaurant decided to terrorize hospitals with guns! The police have confirmed that they have committed the crime of public disturbance and the possession of illegal weapons! It appears that their names are Victoria Campbell and Samuel Moore, according to a nurse."

Mello pointed at the screen. "Because of that?"

"…Oh." Tori glanced at the television. "Samuel? Really? That's an old man name…"

"It's the first name that came into my mind."

"You were thinking about Samuel?"

"…Why are you making me sound gay?"

"You said it yourself…" She nudged the blonde. "So do you want to know my last name?"

"Sure?"

"Courtland!"

"Okay?"

"…Sheesh."

Mello's cell phone began ringing. Unknown caller. He picked it up anyway. "Who the hell are you?"

"I NO UR GURLFRAN'S FULL NAME NOW! MWAHAHA!" a woman on the other end said. She was too stupid and forgot to use a distorted voice. "PS, I'M NOT KIRA!"

"…What do you want?"

"JK, I AM KIRA! MWUAHAHA. PS, I SUPPORT TOMELLO!"

"Then why would you kill her?" Mello took out a transmitter-like device, and began pressing some buttons. "She's not a criminal."

"Ya she is! She killd pplz b4!"

"So have I," he retorted.

"SO U WANT TO DIE WIF HER? OOOOH!"

Mello didn't say anything, but twitched in annoyance.

"I'M GONNA KILL HER! HURRHURR!"

"And I'm going to find you before you do."

"AWWW MELLU LAHVS TORI!" Beep. Disconnected.

"Who was that?" Tori asked.

The chocoholic began dialling another number on the phone. "Kira."

"What did Kira want?"

"You to die."

"WHAT THE F- WHY?"

He pressed the green call button and held it up to his ear calmly.

"Yeeaaah?" Matt's voice sounded.

"You've got the fake Kira's location, right?"

"Yep. On my way."

Mello smirked, pressing the disconnect button.

Then a random magical fairy appeared out of nowhere, waving her wand. "I'm going to heal Tori! Ta da!"

"…What the fuck?" Tori muttered, moving her no-longer-injured leg. "Alright… Why does Kira want to kill me?"

The blonde glanced around as if he was looking for something. "She says you're a criminal."

"AM NOT!"

"Well, you did kill some people."

"…S-so?"

"…So that makes you a killer."

Tori never thought of it that way. "…Don't call me that!"

He shrugged indifferently. "Everyone's a killer."

"…At least I'm a pretty killer!"

Mello chuckled lightly at her reply. "That's vain."

"Like you aren't."

He raised an eyebrow, turning slightly towards the girl. "How so? I never said I was attractive or whatever."

"Do you think you are?"

"Hell yes." No hesitation.

"…Okay," she responded rather awkwardly. "So where are we going again?"

"Kira's location. Matt sent it to me using a GP-" Mello stopped abruptly when he realized something. "…Shit, we have no transport."

Then Tori's cell phone began ringing. She pressed a button. "Hello?"

"HURHURHUR. HELLO, VICTORIA COURTLAND!" a female voice greeted pedophilically.

"How the fuck did you know my name?"

"I JUST DO! U IS GONNA DIE BY MIDNIGHT! HURHURHUR. I BET MELLO DIDN'T TELL YOU."

"He told me I was going to die, bu-"

"BTW, I'M KIRA!" the voice interrupted stupidly. "IM KILLING U CUZ U IZ A CRIMINAL!"

"FUCK YOU!"

"HURHUR, LOL!" Then Kira hung up.

Just then, a super awesome-ass red car stopped in front of the couple. Matt leaned out of the window, pulling up his goggles to rest on his head while grinning. "Check out my new car!"

"Tori, get in. We have Kira's ass to hunt down," Mello ordered, gesturing towards the car.

"But you're still holding me…?" She gave him a weird look.

"…Oh." He dropped her carefully and they both entered the car, with Tori sitting at the back.

"So, Matt. Where did you get the car?" the chocoholic questioned.

"I found it." Which means "I stole it" in Matt-speak.

"…"

"I'm badass!" Tori commented, putting on a pair of sunglasses. "Wait… I don't look badass with a Hello Kitty T-shirt!"

Neither of the male teenagers responded.

"Mello! Do something about it!"

The blonde cast a glance over his shoulder. "What are you expecting me to do?"

"...I don't know."

"…Mells?" Tori called with a guilty look on her face.

"What?"

"Sorry I got you into this bullshit on your birthday."

Mello crammed a bar of chocolate into his mouth. "Doesn't matter. It's better than having nothing to do."

"I guess…"

"MOVE IT, TRUCK!" Matt yelled impatiently, pressing the car horn and revving the engine at a large pickup truck in the front. "Screw this…" He pressed his foot down on the pedal and swerved his way around the truck so that the car was now in the front. "Sucker."

A police car began sounding its siren and driving after the red car after seeing it drive onto the opposite lane to bypass the truck. "RED CAR IN FRONT, STOP NOW!"

Matt didn't listen while Tori flashed her middle finger at them.

"THEY'RE NOT STOPPING!" The police officers in the car were conversing with each other. Extremely loudly. "THIS IS OFFICER BRADLEY, WE NEED BACKUP! I REPEAT, WE NEED BACKUP!"

More police cars began emerging like sharks out of water. "THIS WILL BE A PIECE OF CAKE!"

"This is going to be fun…" Matt grinned, letting go of the wheels to crack his knuckles.

Mello was staring ahead of him. An old woman was halfway across the road. "Matt."

"Hm?" His hands were still together as he glanced at his best friend quizzically.

"Wheels."

"My bad." The redhead turned the wheel sharply to one side with one hand, just narrowly missing the senior citizen, who probably still died from a heart attack.

"FUCK OFF!" Tori stuck her head out of the roof window and swore at the police cars. Only to see them aiming guns at her. She quickly sat back down again. "…That wasn't fun."

Mello noticed that the police had taken out their weapons, but was still eating his chocolate calmly.

"Why does every fatass in the world like Mello? THERE'S MATT TOO!" Tori rambled. "…Wait, I meant to think that…"

"…I'm glad they don't like me." Matt commented, pulling a face.

"SHIT! SHIIIT!" the girl swore.

Mello glanced at her oddly. "What?"

She turned bright red. "Nothing!"

"Tori, duck down!" he commanded sharply.

"Wh-"

"OPEN FIRE!" the police declared. Bullets began pelting the road tarmac uselessly. Their aim sucked, but one bullet managed to crack the back window.

Tori yelped and climbed to the front onto Mello's lap. "I'm gonna cry! I don't want to get shot again!"

"Shit, it's a new car too…" Matt scowled, tossing a smoke bomb out of the window in retaliation.

Smoke began seeping out of the steel case affectively, blocking the views of the police cars. The police crashed into a couple of large trash cans, with litter exploding and spreading everywhere.

"WHAT WAS THAT?" Tori curled into a ball and covered her eyes. "HOLY SHIT!"

"Eh, this happens all the time," Mello stated coolly, throwing a smoke grenade out of the window as a new set of police cars entered the scene.

"HAHA, WE'RE PRO!" some weird police officer yelled as the cars dodged out of the grenade's way.

"MELLO, HELP ME!" the teenage girl cried. "I'M GONNA DIE! I DON'T LIKE THIS GAME!"

"…It's not a game?" the chocoholic answered casually.

The police cars began speeding up close to the car. "STOP NOW!"

Matt simply drove onto the wrong lane. The police stupidly followed, crashing into other innocent cars and blowing up.

Tori poked her head out of the window. "Oh, shit…"

"Oh yeah, we lost them!" the gamer announced triumphantly, making a victory sign. More cars were charging straight towards the red car, swerving out of the way and crashing. "WHO'S THE BOSS?"

"GO BACK TO THE RIGHT SIDE!" Mello roared.

"WHAT?" Tori protested. "WHAT DID I DO?"

"I meant Matt."

"…Oh."

The redhead obeyed Mello's command and turned sharply onto the right lane, causing Tori to slam into the side of the car.

"OW!" she yelped in pain, rubbing her head.

"…Pfft." Mello tried to hold in a laugh.

"SHUT UP, MELLO!" Tori covered his mouth with her hand. He just smirked in response.

She removed her hand. "…You need to take a nap, Mells."

"Why?"

"Just take a nap..."

"I don't want to."

The girl covered his mouth again. "Shhh…"

Mello licked her hand and snickered.

"EWW!" Tori yelled, withdrawing her hand immediately.

Matt turned fully to face the couple. "Ew? What the hell, Mello?"

"EYES ON THE ROAD!" the chocoholic yelled, pointing ahead. Another car full of innocent people screeched off the road and crashed.

"…Oops."

Tori wiped the hand that had been licked on Matt's sleeve.

"That's disgusting!" Matt made a face, twitching with distaste. He reached up his hand and wiped the sleeve on Mello's face.

"What the f- My saliva's not disgusting!" the blonde snorted, moving away the best he can.

"Yes it is!" He shuddered involuntarily. "Ew…"

"MELLO LIKES TORI!" The voice was back. Again. "THAT'S WHY HE ISN'T PUSHING HER OFF HIS LAP!"

"…SHUT UP!" Mello snarled to the invisible person telepathetically.

"I'M SORRY, MELLO!" it said.

"Yeah, you should be."

"I MEANT TO SAY MELLO LOVES TORI!"

"If I ever find out who you are, I'm going to freaking punch you in the face, and shoot-…"

The voice began speaking to Matt instead while Mello continued his threats. "Do you think Mello loves Tori? One head shake for 'yes', two for 'no'!"

The redhead grinned and shook his head once.

"And do you think Tori feels the same? Take your goggles off for 'yes', keep them on for 'no'!"

"But I want to keep my goggles on," Matt complained.

"WELL, YOU CAN PUT THEM BACK ON RIGHT AFTER!"

"Can't be bothered."

A transparent hand pushed his goggles off anyways. Tori glanced at him. "Matt! You have pretty eyes!"

"…Thank you?"

"How ab-" Mello quickly stopped himself. "…Nothing."

The girl pushed his hair out of his eyes. "Yours are cool." Then she brushed it back onto his face. "There you go!"

He inwardly smirked triumphantly, thinking to himself. 'Cool' is better than a sissy 'pretty'. In your fa-

"Heard that, Mells," the voice interrupted.

"…Eh?"