Ok, second last chapter is up. Sorry I took so long to update. It's really hard to update during school.
Note: I don't own Victorious
Just note that the dark, italic writting is Beck talking... you will understand when you get there.
Also, this chapter is very long so bare with me.
"I have cupcakes!" Cat sang as she sat down at the table. Jade stared at the vibrant redheaded girl in annoyance. She had thought she would be able to eat alone today.
"I don't want cupc..." Jade stopped talking as Cat shoved a cupcake in her mouth. Jade's eyes grew big as she realized the cupcakes were mocha flavour.
"Beck told me you loved coffee so I thought I could make cupcakes that were coffee flavoured. My mom Sais I'm not allowed to have coffee because the caffeine makes me hyper. So I can't eat any of them but I thought you could because you drink lots of coffee and you're never hyper! Do you like them?" Cat asked, her eyes staring intently at Jade.
"Whatever" Jade replied, not even noticing the sad expression that passed over Cat's face.
"I'm sure they are great! They look fantastic! Mind if I have one?" James asked as his hand brushed delicately against Jade's arm. Jade stared at him in confusion; she had totally forgotten that he was there.
"Oh my gosh! You just touched Jade and she didn't flinch! She always flinches unless it's Beck. Do you like her? Oh my gosh do you like him? OH no..." Cat started to ramble.
"Don't you have to be somewhere?" Jade asked in an annoyed tone.
"YOU'RE SO MEAN!" Cat cried as she stood up abruptly. But before Cat could walk away James cut her off.
"What Jade meant to say was don't you have rehearsal for Romeo and Juliet like everyone else?" He asked.
"Oh ha-ha, they aren't practicing my scene today." Cat said, suddenly in a good mood again. James sat down next to Jade, happy that he had averted the disaster of upsetting Cat.
"I meant to say what I actually said." Jade said, glaring daggers at James. "If I wanted to ask her why she wasn't at rehearsal I would have asked her that." Cat noticed that Jade seemed rather annoyed by James at the moment.
"I guess Beck is the only one that can calm down Jade." Cat thought to herself, letting out a small giggle while Jade yelled at James.
"What?" Jade asked. She always got annoyed when Cat giggled to herself, people were going to start thinking she was insane. Well at least the people who didn't already think that.
"Well nothing, I just haven't seen you in forever. I miss you! It's been three weeks Jade! Beck is getting lonely." Cat said, a small tear forming in her eye.
Jade smiled inwardly. She had a certain knack for avoiding people as much as possible. Jade hadn't talked to Beck or really anyone from the old gang since the incident at Tori's house. At first Beck tried to talk to her, but her death stares and cold shoulder proved even too much for him and, after a week, she had been left alone. She welcomed the solitude, well except for James.
Somehow James had figured that Jade needed a friend and had spent pretty much every waking minute with her. At first she tried to ignore him, but she would be lying to say she didn't notice the way Beck looked at her a hundred times more when she was with James. Also, James wasn't that bad. He TRIED to make her laugh, tried being the key word here because Jade West did not laugh for just anyone. For the most part, she just ignored him.
"I've been busy with more important things." Jade grumbled.
"But Beck is so sad. He's like a wilted butterfly! Not like the pretty orange and black ones that always flutter to the tulips in my back yard! No he's more like those yucky grey ones that leave fairy dust over everything they touch. They go close to the lights, maybe they like the lights because they are so bright and... Wait!" Cat called, noticing that Jade had gotten up to leave.
"What Cat? Do you want me to tell you I miss you guys? Well, I don't. I'm fine without Beck. I'm glad I don't have to hear Rex insult me all the time, and Andre making goo goo eyes at Tori when he thinks no one is looking makes me want to rip my eyes out. "Jade cried out. So maybe that was all a lie, maybe, just maybe she missed most of them. However, she was the one who left them; she was supposed to be happy.
"You should go on The Slap!" Cat suddenly said. Jade gave her a confused look. "Where did that idea come from?" Jade thought, but then again, she should know better than to question Cat's thought process.
"What?" Jade said, not really understanding the need to go on the school's website.
"You know like dot com?" Cat said.
"No? Really? Because I thought you meant a slap like this!" Jade said, slapping James across the face. He recoiled in embarrassment from his unsuccessful attempt to wrap an arm around Jade's shoulders.
"Please! Pretty please! It would make me so happy! Please! Please, please, please, please!" Cat pleaded, grabbing on to Jade's shoulder.
"Fine! Just stop touching me!" Jade said in annoyance, ignoring the quiet laugh that came out of James mouth.
"Yay!" Cat cried, giving Jade a huge hug before running off to god knows where. Jade let a low growl.
"What have I gotten myself into?" She said, mainly to herself.
"She's sweet and look she left the cupcakes." James said, pointing to the box that Cat had left.
"I wasn't talking to you." Jade said, grabbing one cupcake and promptly leaving.
JADE POV
I had been staring blankly at my black laptop for several minutes. I slowly typed in The and watched in anticipation as the page loaded. I wasn't entirely sure what I was expecting to see, but at the same time, I needed to know why Cat thought it was so important for me to go on it.
I quickly typed in my profile name and password.
ScissorLuv
Bade4evar
Even I couldn't help but laugh at the irony of my password. Technically Beck and I hadn't broken up. I refused to give him the satisfaction of having me beg to get him back if we ever broke up, and well Beck wasn't the dumping type. However, even without the official single status, Beck had managed to get more than his share of girls flirting with him, and truthfully it drove me insane. But I had to stay strong, I was Jade West, and I was never going to be as weak as I was when I saw Tori. The only way this relationship was going to get back together is if HE fought for me, not the other way around.
Finally the page loaded and I flipped casually through my profile. So far there was nothing out of the ordinary.
There were 4 messages from Sinjin asking me on various dates, all of which I responded with multiple different ways of saying no.
There were a couple of small messages from James, just telling me when the next practices were and what not. I don't know why he would bother to write this on my profile, he tells me about the god damn practices every day. He was probably under the impression that it made it look like we were an item or something, like seriously?
I don't know what possessed me to do it, but I quickly deleted all the messages from James. I guess a small part of me didn't really want Beck to see them.
Other than that, there was nothing of importance on my profile. I let out a breath I hadn't even noticed I was holding and stared in confusion at the screen. Why would Cat want me to go on The Slap if there was absolutely nothing on there for me to see? Seriously that girl has some serious issues. Well while I'm on here I mind as well creep, uh I mean look at Beck's profile. What? I mean we are still dating, sort of.
As angry as I was, I couldn't help but let slip a small smile as Beck's profile video came up. I could still remember the day we recorded it. Just as I was about to click on the profile video to watch Beck something else caught my eye.
1 new video
Hmm what could this video be about? Well I mind as well look at it right? I have the right to, plus I was seriously craving any form of interaction with Beck, even if it was over a stupid computer.
The loading picture showed Beck in a casual black and red plaid shirt with a black undershirt underneath. God he was so hot! What I wouldn't give to make out with him right now. Wow Jade concentrate.
The video finally loaded and I slowly dragged the pointer over the play button. My heart began to pound as I heard his familiar voice fill the room.
"Are you sure this is going to work?"Beck's voice called as his hands ran casually through his hair.
"Just shut up and do this ok? You want her back don't you?"I heard Tori's voice call out. She must be the one filming. I don't know what made her think that just because she had confessed about liking Andre she still had the right to hang out with MY boyfriend.
"Ok. Hello everyone! It's me, Beck. You should probably know that because you are on my profile page. But in case you are still oblivious to this, I'm Beck."Beck said casually. He was always so casual, that's probably one of the things I love most about him.
"Anyway, this video is dedicated to a special someone who, well in all honesty, deserves to be mad at me. I was a total jerk and you have every right to hate me, but no matter what I will always love you, only you."At this his voice went really quiet. Why is he making a video about loving someone? But, that someone better be me!
"I know what you are all thinking, who is this mystery women who has stolen my heart? Well I'm not telling. First off, this video is addressed to her so she will know that I'm talking about her. Secondly, she would probably kick my ass for making this video if I mentioned her name." Now I knew he was talking about me. Well this better be good Beck Oliver.
"I often get the question why do you love her so much? She's mean, obsessive and doesn't get along with my friends."Well, he sure as hell hasn't gotten off on a good start.
"Well, there are multiple reasons why I love her. I guess it would make sense to start off with the moment when I first realized I needed to ask her out." I growled in frustration as my computer stopped to load the rest of the footage. While I waited I tried to think of when that exact moment had been, but, for some reason I couldn't remember. I highly doubt he ever even told me. Oh good, it's done loading completely this time.
"Well, it all started during the bird scene .It's funny how the bird scene always ends differently for each person. Most people had done the bird scene at the beginning at of the year, mainly because they wanted the role in the first play of the season, but my girl was different. Honestly, a lot of people questioned why she was there when she showed no interest in most of the plays. But, near the end of spring, Hollywood arts decided to come out with the play The Dark Side. Obviously this intrigued her because the next day she was standing in front of the class reading out the bird scene.
This girl, um let's call her..." Beck's voice trailed off as he tried to think of a name. It better not be similar to the name of ANY girls he knows.
"How about Jane?" Tori's voice called out. Wow she really did have a genius way of covering my name.
"Sounds good, so it wasn't just Jane's way of acting out the scene that caught my attention, but mainly the way she ended it. When all was said and done, she stood there for several seconds before finally exclaiming "well?" in an annoyed tone that I found very sexy.
"What do you mean by well?" Sikowitz asked, sipping on his coconut juice because, well some things just never change.
"I mean can I be in the Dark Side or not." Jane said, her voice sounding much more annoyed. I cringed slightly. There was something I couldn't quite explain, but for some reason I didn't want Jane to give in and ask that fatal question.
"So you are asking if you did good or not." Sikowitz stated, obviously trying to get straight to the point.
"No, I don't give a shit whether I did good or not, I just want to know if I have your permission to try out for the play or if I have to sneak behind your back and do it anyway!" Jane yelled, I know now that this is a regular behaviour for her. After that and without listening to an answer, she abruptly sat down.
She was the first person to ever pass the bird scene on the first try. Because of that, I knew she was a force to be reckoned with and that getting her attention was going to be a challenge.
The next time I realized that Jane was no ordinary girl was when I first tried to ask her out. I mean I was used to girls coming and asking me out! So obviously I expected a quick yes and it was off to the movies and eventual make out city.
So when I first asked Jane out, I didn't bother doing anything fancy because, well she didn't seem like the type to be wooed by fancy romantics. I just did it the plain old fashion way.
"So I think you and I should go to the movies together Friday night." I asked, my arm resting casually against her locker. She turned abruptly to stare me down with her beautiful grey blue eyes and I could feel my palms begin to sweat. I had never gotten nervous about asking a girl out, but with her, I was terrified.
"I'm busy." She said before turning back to her locker. I'm not going to lie, I was really taken aback by that, no one had ever, EVER said no to going out with me.
"With what?" I asked casually, because I am the cool, calm collective guy you know?
"I don't know, but I'm sure I'll find something by then." She said, closing her locker and walking away. I stood there, left alone in the hall with only my thoughts.
The truth was I had never had to fight for anything in my life. I had looks. I had talent. My parents pretty much gave me anything I wanted and girls were always all over me. She was the first person I ever had to fight for, that I didn't get their love just handed to me on a silver platter. So obviously I was addicted. I had the uncontrollable need to fight for her, to get her as my girlfriend and to keep her there as long as possible. Seriously, who doesn't love a challenge?
I finally got her to go out with me when she lost the bet on whether or not I could literally get a girl to dump her boyfriend for me. It was on our many dates that I found out that the cold, dark girl I saw before me was much more complex. She wasn't like other girls. She had her own opinion and could hold a conversation. I began to enjoy our weekly battles over who was right or wrong; it was something new and fresh compared to the girls who always agreed with me just so I would kiss them.
Also, she called me out on stuff. If I was being a jerk she would tell me, she was sort of like my pole. When I started to cross the line or be, well, sort of a jack ass, she would straighten me out and make sure I didn't get to full of myself.
All in all, she was, is my idea of perfect. I love her and always will. I found myself waking up with only her on my mind; I would get excited to go to school just to see her beautiful face. I was hers, fully and completely and I wouldn't have asked for it any other way. But then, I lost her.
I knew from the moment my lips made contact with Tori Vega's that I was screwed. The truth is, no offence Tori, but at that moment you were just a prop. I didn't think of you as a girl that might make my girlfriend jealous, or as someone I was attracted to, all I thought of in that moment was that I had to please the crowd. What? It was the actor in me that was screaming out give them what they want. So I did.
As soon as my lips touched hers, my mind snapped into boyfriend mode and I wanted to push away. Tori's lips weren't like Jane's. I suddenly felt myself desire Jane's soft silky lips over Tori's moist, almost tacky ones.
"Hey!" I heard Tori say. I couldn't help but let out a smile, he was offending her right in front of everyone.
"Let me explain that better. Tori's lips tasted like, well strawberries and cotton candy and whatever sweet taste came off of her lip gloss. But Jane, well first off, Jane never wears lip gloss. She says it ruins a coffee when you have the mixture of caffeine and fruity gloss in your mouth, so she preferred to use lip stain. So when I kissed Jane, well all I could taste was pure Jane, the taste of coffee with a slight vanilla after taste, the taste I loved.
Anyway, back to the story, the moment I kissed Tori, all I wanted was to have the flavour of coffee and vanilla wash over me. But I heard the crowd cheer and my acting instinct kicked in and well I pulled away casually after a couple seconds more then I should have.
Don't get me wrong, Jane was furious. She threw things and threatened me and my heart broke at the thought of her leaving me. But she didn't. We got through it, and from there I thought we could get through anything. I must admit she never truly forgave me, but at least she hid her hatred for Tori as much as possible so that we could work through it. She never fully trusted me after that. So Jane, if you are listening and I truly hope you are because if not then this is totally pointless to make, that kiss meant nothing and never will. You are the only one I dream of kissing when it all comes down to it.
Finally, the moment James came into her life was the first time I ever felt jealous towards another guy. He had her attention and he was willing to give it all up for her, where as I, I was off staring in other plays.
I don't think I had ever felt the way I did when James tried to kiss her in our improve class. It was the scariest moment of my life. But she showed no interest. I should have figured then that she belonged to me just as much as I belonged to her and that she had no interest in any other guy. But instead I got even more jealous and drove her away.
Jade, this next part is addressed to you:
I love you and only you. Being without you was probably the worst days of my life. It may not seem like it but I need you just as much as you need me. Without you, life has been honestly pretty uneventful. I would do anything to prove to you that what I feel for you is true and that I'm not giving up on us.
"Well, that seems good" Tori's voice said, and the video quickly went blank.
I took a moment to fully take in what I had just seen
"I guess Tori isn't as dumb as she looks." I said out loud. Beck had just given me the one thing I had wanted since we started going out: To openly admit that he belonged to me and wasn't interested in other girls. He even managed to do it in a permanent way that all the sluts who went on his profile would be able to see.
Any other girl would have probably run over to his RV the moment they saw this and made up with him right there and then. But I wasn't like other girls and I still needed one more thing before I was fully ready to trust him again. I do love him more than anything and I am going to forgive him, eventually. But there is still a part of me that needs more, that final point that will prove everything is going to be ok.
I took a deep breath and dragged the mouse over to the private inbox button.
I vigorously typed in my message:
I hate to admit this, but that was pretty sweet. Was that true about the Tori thing? Or was it some attempt you and Tori made up to get me to forgive you? But you better read this right the first time because I am never EVER going to write something like this again. Yes, I do need you, I think about you a lot every single day and the thought of not being with you drives me insane. So I may be a little over possessive, but do you seriously think I don't hear all the people questioning why you're with me? I know plenty of Beautiful girls like Alyssa Vaughn and Tori (don't ever tell her I said that or I'll kill you) could easily have you and I don't fully understand why you aren't with them. That's why I'm so afraid to lose you .But; I guess I could forgive you. How about we meet up after my play on the 18th so we can work this out? I'll see you then.
Jade
I let out a sigh as I clicked the send button.
"This better work" I thought, a wave of nausea coming over me as I thought of what might happen if he refused.
Ok, I'm really sorry if this sucks, I'm bad at writting romances because well I'm not a very romantic person.
Also, thanks to everyone who has stuck with me and has reviewed, they are very encouraging and I am excited to get more. Well I hope I get more... hint hint, review, hint hint :P
Anyway I might take a while to update the next chapter because I have exams soon but it will get up eventually.
Sincerely,
Patientlywaiting4u