Chapter 2
I Kissed a Guy
-Finn-
Finn leaned forward and Josh leaned in as well. Their lips connected and Josh made took control of the kiss and Finn just decided to roll with it. It all seemed so real to Finn. They broke apart and Josh moved way and watched Finn process the kiss. Then a song on Josh's laptop started to play and Josh started to sing. Finn snapped into the present and it all became clear to him.
Josh:
This was never the way I planned
not my intention
I got so brave, drink in hand
Lost my discretion
Finn was amazed and then joined in.
Finn:
It's not what, I'm used to
Just wanna try you on
I'm curious for you
Caught my attention
Finn and Josh both got lost in the song as they sang it but they slightly changed the lyrics.
Both:
I kissed a guy and I liked it
The taste of his chapped lips,
I kissed a guy just to try it
I hope my girlfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
it don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a guy and I liked it
I liked it
Josh:
No, I don't even know your name
It doesn't matter
Your my experimental game
Just human nature
Finn:
It's not what, good guys do
not how they should behave
My head gets so confused
Hard to obey
Josh and Finn started dancing around the room and they continued the song.
Both:
I kissed a guy and I liked it
The taste of his chapped lips,
I kissed a guy just to try it
I hope my girlfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a guy and I liked it
I liked it
Us bi's we are so magical,
soft skin, red lips, so kissable
hard to resist, so touchable
too good to deny it
Ain't no big deal, it's innocent
I kissed a guy and I liked it
The taste of his chapped lips,
I kissed a guy just to try it
I hope my girlfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a guy and I liked it
I liked it
When the song finished Finn and Josh were smiling at each other, but Josh's bedroom door opened just then to reveal Josh's mom. Boy she doesn't look happy. Finn thought.
"Hello, there boys, now I love to hear singing, but not at four in the morning. Josh I told you that needed to get to bed when you got home. Now I want you two in bed in fifteen minutes or there will be hell to pay." She then moved from the door and went back down the hall.
Finn looked at Josh. "Sorry, for getting you in trouble."
"Nah, it's fine." Josh moved over to his closet and pulled out a sleeping bag and then tossed it onto the floor and unrolled it. "Finn, you can have my bed, and I'll sleep on the floor."
Finn was surprised by this. "Are you sure? I can easily sleep on the floor."
"No, you're the guest. So you get to have my bed. It's one of mom's rules." He shrugged and lay down on the sleeping bag and kicked his shoes off.
Finn lay down on the bed and he also kicked his shoes off. Finn closed his eyes as Josh got back up to turn the lights off, and reclose his door. After a few more minutes, Finn rolled onto his said facing Josh. "Josh thanks for everything."
There was some movement on the floor before Josh replied. "No problem, I'm glad that I could help you out. I hope that I was able to help with your other problem as well."
Finn rolled back onto his back and let out a breath. It did help. Finn now knew that he was bisexual, and that he had feelings for his best friend/soon to be step-brother. God that sounds gross on so many levels. Finn thought. Well I guess it might work out in the end.
With that Finn rolled over onto his other side facing the wall and he quickly fell asleep.
-Carole-
Carole Hudson sat in the kitchen of Burt's house as she nursed on her 15th cup of coffee since 11:00pm the previous night. She had hoped that Finn would have come home eventually, but he didn't. After she and Burt had come home from the store, Kurt handed her Finn's phone and told her he found it in pieces on his bed.
Carole thought about calling the police, but Kurt talked her out of it. "He'll be home when he's ready."
Carole sighed. But Kurt told her that he was worried too. Kurt left said that he was leaving to go look for Finn, along with most of everyone from Glee club. But when Kurt got home at 2:00am with no sign of Finn, she really started to worry. She was amazed that Puck, Tina, Mike, and Mercedes had stayed up all night looking for him when they stopped by at 7:00am that morning. She fixed them all breakfast as a thank you for everything. Kurt came up and joined them too. After breakfast Kurt told the four of them that they could crash downstairs as he went to look for Finn some more.
Carole called into work and told them that Finn was missing since yesterday with no word of his whereabouts. Suzie, Carole's boss, told her that she could have the day off because Carole always came into work and she felt that this was the least that she could do. Burt came into the kitchen and got a coffee mug out of the cupboard and helped himself and sat next to Carole. "Any word on where Finn is?"
Carole shook her head. "None, Puck, Tina, Mercedes, and Mike had stayed out all night looking for him, but they never saw him. Kurt went back out to look for him just after breakfast, so that was about 8:00 this morning."
Burt put his hand on Carole's. "I'm sure he's okay."
Carole grabbed a napkin out of the holder on the table and dabbed at her eye. "I still feel like I should have called the cops though."
"Tell you what Carole, if Finn is not home by dinner time tonight we will." Burt said, as he squeezed Carole's hand.
"Thanks Burt." Carole leaned over and gave him a hug and a peck on the cheek. "I just can't help but feel that something has happened to him. And if something did, I couldn't bear to lose him. He's all I got beside you and Kurt."
"I know…I know sweetie." Burt said as he rubbed small circles into Carole's back. "Tell you what, let me go open the garage up and have Steve be in charge for the day and I will come back and wait with you. How does that sound?"
Carole sniffed. "You don't have to, Burt."
Burt smiled. "I know I don't, but I want to."
"Thanks Burt, you're so good to me." Carole said.
With that Burt did exactly that. With in 45 minutes Burt was back home and waiting with Carole in hopes that Finn would show up.
-Finn-
Finn awoke with a start. This is sooo not my room. He thought, but then the night before came rushing back to him and he remembered where he was. He rolled over to see Josh on his laptop on Facebook or something. Finn went to stretch, and his back popped in five or six spots, making Josh turn around and look at him with a smile.
"And so Sleeping Beauty awakes at last." Josh said with a smile. "I thought that I was going to have to kiss you, to get you to wake up. Lord knows that I've tried eight times already."
Finn shook his head. "How long was I out?"
Josh looked at his laptop. "Well it's almost three, and we got to bed at four, I'd say about eleven hours."
Finn blinked a few times. "I should probably get home. I'm sure my mom is worried to death."
"That's cool." Josh said nonchalantly. "If you want I can give you a ride."
Finn was bent over looking for his shoes. "Yeah, thanks that'd be great."
After fishing his shoes from the foot of the bed Finn put on his shoes, as Josh grabbed a set of keys and his wallet from the desk and put them into his pocket and waited for Finn. They both exited the room and went through the house and ended up in the garage, where Josh gestured to Finn to get into his 2010 Ford Mustang. Finn gave him a questioning look.
"Are you sure that I'll fit inside?" Finn asked a little apprehensive.
"You'll be fine, my cousin Daniel is six foot ten, and he fits in here." Josh said with another smile.
Finn shrugged his shoulders and then climbed into the passenger side as Josh opened the garage door and pulled out onto the street following the directions that Finn game him.
-Kurt-
Kurt walked in through the front door. He noticed that his dad was home, which was kind of weird but Kurt could live with that for a moment. He walked into the kitchen as he followed his dad in.
"Has there…" Kurt started, but from the look on Carole's face he already knew the answer.
Carole looked up at Kurt and she looked as if she was on the verge of tears. "No, there hasn't been any word from him. Oh Puck and the others left about two, to go head out again. They said that they would like to be updated if we heard anything."
Kurt nodded his head as he glanced at the clock on the wall. 3:10. Well Kurt decided that he might as well use the rest room and grab a quick snack to eat before he resumed his search. Carole got up and moved to the living room.
Kurt looked at his dad, as Burt ran a hand through his hair and gave a sigh. "How's Carole holding up dad?"
Burt watched as Kurt crossed to the fridge and pulled out some sort of yogurt thing and opened it. "She's worried that something has happened to Finn. In all honesty I'm worried too."
Kurt swallowed his yogurt. "That makes the grand total now up to 14 people that are really worried about him."
"There are 14 people?" Burt asked.
"Yeah there are the ten of us from Glee Club, excluding Rachel and Finn of course, and then you and Carole. Plus I talked to Mr. Shue this morning when I passed him and Miss Pillsbury. So there that brings the count to 14." Kurt said as he sat down at the table.
"I wonder what's going in that boy's head." Burt blurt out before he realized what he said. He then looked at Kurt who just had to smile at his dad.
"That apparently makes two of us." Kurt said, and he saw his dad visibly relax.
-Finn-
Josh pulled up in front of the house. Finn looked at him and then back at the house. "Thanks again for everything Josh."
Josh again shrugged his shoulders. "It's no problem at all. I'm just glad that I could help out someone in need of it."
Finn then leaned across and pulled Josh in for a kiss and he gently pressed his lips to Josh's and the kissed for a good ten seconds before they broke. "Thank you. I feel that I can finally accept myself for once in my life."
Josh nodded his head. He just couldn't process that Finn had kissed him like that. Finn unbuckled himself and got out of the car and closed it and waved at Josh. When Finn got to the porch Josh finally pulled away. Finn grabbed the door handle and moved to go inside.
"Finn is that you?" Carole's voice floated into the entrance hall.
Finn sighed. "Yes, it's me, mom."
Carole came out of the living room and stared at Finn. Finn noticed that she was between: upset, pissed, and relieved. "Where have you been Finn?"
"I was out." Finn said, not really wanting to get into it.
"You were out? Finn exactly where have you been?" Carole pressed.
"Look can we talk about this later mom?" Finn asked as he moved down the hall towards her, but she cut him off.
"No we're going to talk about it now." Carole said, her pissed off emotion finally winning over. "I want to know where in the hell you've been."
"Look mom, I really don't want to talk about it right now." Finn said as he tried to side step his mom, but she moved him into the living room.
"I don't care Finn. I've been up all night worrying about you. Hell Kurt and everyone in Glee were out looking for you last night. And they're still out looking for you. I was about to call the cops on you." Carole said.
Finn fidgeted for a moment. "I'm sorry to worry you mom."
"Now where were you?"
"I don't want to talk…"
Carole lost her cool. "Damn it Finn! You don't want to talk about. I don't want to talk about it. That's all that I've heard out of you for a while. I don't want to hear that. You tell me where you were or heaven help me. I will ground you for the rest of the summer."
Finn shoved past his mom and got to the hallway. "Finn please, you used to tell me what was going on in your life, and ever since you guys performed at Regional's you've been distant with me. I just want to help." Carole said with a hurt voice that Finn was acting this way.
Finn turned to face his mom. She saw the tears that were flowing down his face. Carole noticed that Burt and Kurt had appeared behind Finn as Finn took two steps towards her.
"Fine, you want to know mom?" Finn asked. "You really want to know?"
"Yes, Finn, honey I do." Carole replied.
"I broke up with Rachel, because I started to question who I was as a person. But that goes back to when we first moved in. Back when I called Kurt that horrible name. I've spent every second of everyday regretting ever saying that to him. Of all the people I should have been angry with the least of them was Kurt. He was there for me when I found out that Quinn had lied to me and Puck betrayed me. I knew that Kurt had a crush on me but I tried to get past it.
"So I tried dating Rachel the first time, but I was more worried about my reputation than anything and then I went had sex with Santana." Finn semi-yelled at his mother, as she listened to everything that Finn was unloading to her. Carole noticed that Burt was a little shocked, as well as Kurt.
"Don't worry I used protection. But after it was done I didn't feel the fireworks or what ever it is that you feel after sex. But then I had all the pressure of moving, trying to stay on top of school, and then I just blew up and I took it out on Kurt. The reason I blew up at him is because I realized that I like him. More than I am supposed to. I realized that I wanted to be with Kurt as his boyfriend."
Burt dropped his coffee mug to floor, Kurt let out a squeak, and Carole's eyes widened in surprise. Finn took a deep breath before he continued. Well I better get this all out now while everyone is here. "So hide from that I tried to date Rachel again. But all we did was fight. But when I was over at her house I saw that it was perfectly okay to be gay and to live together. It made me want to be with Kurt that much more. I was trying to explain that Rachel yesterday, but she wasn't getting the hint. She practically thinks that since I am the male lead in Glee that I have to date her. Plus she looks at me with this look that is like: 'Hey I'm your future wife!' I was angry and frustrated with her. So I took out my anger out the stuff that she gave me. I tore her picture up and flushed it down the toilet. Then I was scared so I left.
"I walked around town for a while, before I ended up at the school, and I got into it through one of the loading docks around back. I went into the auditorium where I went to try and unload. After I was done there I left to walk around more. I ended up staying with a new friend, his name was Josh, and he plucked the glass out of my fingers at about three this morning. Then I went to sleep and then he drove me here. Plus I also kissed him, because I really wanted to know that if I liked guys, and I finally can accept myself for who I am. I'm bisexual." Finn finished his speech, as he wiped tears away from his eyes.
There was a thump from behind Finn as he turned and saw that Kurt had fainted and Burt was picking him up. Carole's eyes were filled with tears. Carole seemed to be shell shocked at everything that was just said.
"Finn…I…I don't know what to say." Carole said.
But Finn took that the wrong way. "I see mom."
Finn then turned and he amazingly jumped over Burt and Kurt and then bolted down to his and Kurt's room. He grabbed his duffel bag out the closet and then went over and threw in several sets of clothes and then went to the bathroom and grabbed everything that was his and then ran back up the stairs.
"Finn, where are you going?" Carole asked as she saw him move down the hall with his duffel. Kurt was sitting up on the couch and Burt was moving back from the kitchen.
"I'm going." Finn said with a pained resolve in his voice. "I'm sorry that I can't make you proud mom."
Carole was confused. "Finn, what do you mean?"
Finn opened the door, and he looked at the three of them. "I know that three things are true of me at this moment."
"What are those?" Burt asked.
Finn sniffed and let a tear roll down his cheek as he looked at the ground. "I know that I'm useless, and disappointing. I'm a coward. And above all, I'm a horrible fag."
Kurt's mouth dropped open, but he caught himself. "Finn, don't say that."
"Kurt, I'm sorry, but I know what I am. I'm what everyone thinks you need to be, and you're not even close to that." Finn said.
"Finn what did I tell you about saying that?" Burt said obviously upset.
"I know what you said…dad. But I didn't call Kurt that name; I called myself that, because I can see that I caused my mom more pain than she needed any more." Finn said and with that he left out the door and then down the street.
-Kurt-
Burt was in shock that Finn called him dad. Kurt continued to watch the door, but Finn never came back in. Carole collapsed into the recliner next to them and started to cry. Kurt couldn't blame her, but Kurt was surprised that Finn called his dad, dad. But what really bothered Kurt was that Finn unloaded everything that was bothering him, and confessed to things that Carole didn't know.
Kurt felt even more upset, Finn had called himself a fag, and that Kurt wasn't one. How did Finn come to that logic? The only thing that Kurt could think that would explain that was that Finn truly felt bad about calling Kurt a fag two months ago. Kurt thought about it for a moment that made perfect sense. Finn called himself the one thing that he knows my dad and I absolutely hate to hear people call me. Even though dad and I forgave him, he still hasn't forgiven himself for it. He's kept it bottled up all this time and the guilt has eaten away at him.
Kurt looked at his dad. "Dad, I know why Finn said that."
Burt looked at Kurt and Carole glanced over at him as well. Burt asked. "Really, how'd you come to that conclusion Kurt?"
"Finn called himself that because he knows you and I absolutely hate to hear that word. Even though you and I forgave him, he still hasn't forgiven himself for saying it two months ago. He's kept it bottled up all this time and the guilt has eaten away at him. Then this breakup with Rachel has finally pushed him somewhere for once he's scared to be." Kurt paused and he looked at Carole. "Carole, when you said that you didn't know what to say, he thought that you were rejecting him."
Carole's tears increased. "I…I…didn't mean for that to happen."
"I know." Kurt said. "But that's just the way I think Finn took it with everything being crazy lately. He just felt that you'd understand more and say something different. I'm not saying that you were wrong in your response."
Burt sighed. "Boy, Kurt it seems like you know Finn better than Carole does."
Kurt felt his cheeks redden in response to that. "I'm going to see if I can't convince him to come home."
With that, Kurt pulled out his cell phone and sent out a mass text.
1. Artie Abrams
2. Brittney Mills
3. Matt Rutherford
4. Mercedes Jones
5. Mike Chang
6. Noah Puckerman
7. Quinn Fabray
8. Santana Lopez
9. Tina Cohen-Chang
This is a heads up. Finn is okay and he just left our place. So close in, if you find him take him somewhere and keep him there he is really upset, he just unloaded a lot here. Let me and everyone else know as soon as you have him.
Kurt-o-licious
After sending the text, Kurt grabbed his keys and left out the door.
-Puck-
Puck was with Quinn in his car driving to Kurt's house to see if there was any news on Finn. But suddenly both their phones went off and Quinn said she'd check his. She flipped his open and hers. "It's from Kurt."
Puck glanced at Quinn. "What does it say?"
Quinn set Puck's phone down and used hers. "Kurt says 'This is a heads up. Finn is okay and he just left our place. So close in, if you find him take him somewhere and keep him there he is really upset, he just unloaded a lot here. Let me and everyone else know as soon as you have him.'"
Puck kept his eyes peeled for Finn. "God, what is problem?"
"All Kurt said last night was that he and Rachel had a big fight." Quinn said as she started to keep and eye out for Finn as well.
"Finn and Rachel were fighting? Do you know about what?" Puck asked.
"No, I don't. Kurt said that he came in on the tale end of it and that's about the time Finn bolted yesterday." Quinn said.
Puck nodded, and continued to drive down the road.
"Puck, there he is!" Quinn shouted suddenly. "There's Finn down there about two blocks."
Puck noticed him now, and he sped the car up to get a head of him. They passed him and Finn didn't look up. Puck went through the next intersection and parked then he and Quinn got out. They blocked Finn's path down the sidewalk. Finn didn't notice until he saw two pairs of feet and then he looked up.
"You know you're a very hard person to find." Puck said as he crossed his arms. God, Finn you look like hell.
"You don't need to look for me I already went home." Finn said.
"We know." Quinn said. "Kurt told us."
"Come on Finn, let's go some where and talk." Puck said in a pleasant voice.
"No, I'm not going anywhere with you two." Finn said.
"Come on Finn, I thought that we were past this?" Quinn said.
"We are." Finn said, but then looked back at the ground. "It's for different reasons now, that I don't want to go anywhere with you."
"So what are these reasons, Finn?" Puck asked.
Finn looked at Puck then at Quinn and he seemed to snap. Both Puck and Quinn could tell. "For the simple reason Puck, you don't like queers, you can't stand fags. That's what I am okay? So let's start throwing me in the trash, let's get this going before we start school so that way I know what to do. Let's go to the convenience store and get a bunch of slushies so that you can throw them on me. Or even better yet, let's stuff me into a locker. I don't care beat the crap out of me if you want. I am the disgusting piece of trash that deserves it."
Puck's arms fell from his chest and all he could do was stare at Finn. Quinn was also equally surprised. Finn made to move around them, but Puck grabbed Finn's arm. "Finn, what's gotten into you? This is so not you."
"Let go Puck. I joined homo-explosion remember. I also did football; all that did was make me bisexual. Even Quinn said it, everyone thinks that I'm gay now, so I might as well get used to it, because I like guys as well as girls. Plus I'm useless and disappointing, a coward, and a horrible fag. Now please let me go, I just want to leave." Finn said as he tried to leave, but Puck's grip was like a vice and it wasn't letting go.
"Finn, please just come and talk to us." Quinn said through a few tears. "Don't make any rash decisions. There are people who care about you here."
Finn tried to jerk his arm away. "No there's not. My own mom doesn't want me."
Quinn took a step towards Finn, and she smacked him, not once, not twice, but three times. "Finn, don't you dare say that!"
Puck let go of Finn because he knew that Finn would go anywhere for a minute while Quinn chewed him out. Quinn took another step towards him and forced him to bump into Puck's care. "Your mom cares about you. I wish my parents were nice as her. She took me in when you both thought that Drizzle was yours before the truth came out. She is the most understanding person that I have ever met. Hell Kurt cares about you. Burt cares about. One thing that you should have remembered about Glee club this past year was that we all became a family. So in turn we all care about you."
Puck stepped forward. "Finn it's true. Glee made us a family, even though I royally screwed up; I learned to care about other people. If you and I can't be best friends anymore than I understand, but just know that I do care about you."
Finn started to cry more. "It's just I am so scared of everything anymore. I know what to expect from you Puck at school, because of what you've done to Kurt and everyone else that doesn't fit into your ideals. I'm afraid to go forward with Kurt. But they both know everything since they were there when I sort of yelled at my mom."
Quinn's anger melted away. She leaned forward and hugged Finn as he cried harder then before and he broke into great sobs. Quinn looked at Puck and Puck came forward and he hugged both Quinn and Finn together. How long they stayed like that they didn't know, but eventually Finn seemed to collect himself enough to be able to hold his own.
Puck moved first and stepped away. Quinn moved to where she was an arms length away from him. Quinn again glanced at Puck then back at Finn. "Come on Finn, let's go to the mall."
Finn nodded, and he slid his duffel bag off of his shoulders and handed it to Puck. Puck took it and went around and opened the drivers door to use the trunk release, as Quinn and Finn got in the car, and he put the bag in. When Puck got inside the car he turned to Finn in the back seat. "Finn, I want you to know something. In the past I know that I've done a lot of stupid crap to people. But after hearing what you said, I've decided that I am never going to be a bully again. You and Kurt get enough from Azimio and Karofsky; you don't need it from me. And no one else will either."
Finn smiled for once in a long time. "Thanks, Puck."
Puck started the car and pulled out and headed to the mall. Quinn pulled out her phone, and texted everyone that she and Puck had Finn, and that they were heading for the mall. She also said that she and Puck would talk to him more. Quinn then looked at Puck and she mouthed a "thank you" to him. Puck nodded his head and continued on to their destination.