Chapter 5
Emmett
Bella's pov:
I opened my eyes, and was a bit disoriented as I looked around. Where was I. As I looked around I saw familiar things like the stereo, the wall of cd's, and the large black wrought iron bed I was laying on.
I was in Edward's room. I stretched out my arm to greet my angel, but there was just an empty bed. On the pillow next to me where my angel's head would usually lay there was a note. And it said:
Bella,
Sorry, Love. I really needed to hunt and so does everyone else in the family. Don't worry you won't be alone (who knows what trouble you'd get into alone.)
Emmett will be there to keep an eye on things, and don't worry he promised to be on his best behavior. Just tell me if he's not and I'll get Rose to take care of him. I should be back in a few days, five at the most.
I love you. Always.
Edward
I stared at the note for a full minute before I heard a voice. "Aww he left you," came a loud booming voice from right behind me. "Ahh!" I screamed as I jumped a foot into the air. "Emmett!"
"Sorry little sis, I couldn't resist," Emmett managed to gasp out through his laughter.
"Sure, sure" I mumbled.
"So what do you want to do today?" he asked me.
"Well first I need a human moment, and then we can decide our plans for the day. Okay?" I asked.
"Okay." Emmett replied.
I grabbed my bag of toiletries and walked into the bathroom. As I showered I noticed that the water that was swirling down the drain was red. Blood red. I must have still been sleepy because it took me am moment to realize that the blood in the water was my period.
Crap, why did I have to bleed when I was alone with Emmett? Okay I can do this. I'll just have to tell him. Even though I know he'll make fun of me.
After realizing I had my period I quickly threw on some black skinny jeans and a blue t-shirt with my black converses. I walked out of the bathroom and was surprised to see Emmett standing outside of the door grinning down at me.
"Hi Bells, how did everything go in there?" Emmett asked smiling like he knew something that I didn't.
"Um, fine?" I said but it came out as more of a question.
"I just got a call from Alice," Emmett said leaning against the wall right above my head.
"Oh yeah?" I asked.
"Yeah and she told me something about you," Emmett said quietly in my ear.
I looked at him quizzically? What could she have told him about me?
"Would you like to know what it is?" he whispered in my ear. I nodded, honestly curious about what Alice had told him.
"She told me....." he started out.
"That you have your period!" He shouted. It scared me so much that I know I jumped a foot into the air.
My heart was beating at dangerous speeds, and all Emmett did was stand there and laugh. Wait, did he say Alice told him I had my period. Damn, that little pixie.
I took a deep breath and then started to yell at Emmett. "Are you trying to kill me?" I screamed. "I don't think Edward will be happy to hear that you scared me. I can't wait for him to come home because I'm so telling." I told him with a smile.
"No Bella please don't." Emmett begged getting down on one knee giving me the puppy dog eyes that he and Alice do so well.
"I don't know Emmett you scared me pretty bad..." I trailed off knowing that I was going to forgive him.
"Please Bella, pretty please, Pretty please with a grizzly on top?" he continued to beg.
"Fine," I said giggling at the grizzly on top.
"Thanks Bella," he said gripping me in a bear hug.
"Can't breathe," I managed to gasp out. He dropped me on the ground and laughed.
"Ow," I mumbled rubbing my sore backside.
"Well," Emmett said after he had stopped laughing at my expense. "We had better get going,"
"Where are we going?" I asked getting up to follow him.
"We are going to get you some tampons," Emmett said with a grin.
In the midst of out joking I had forgotten all about my period, but now it all came flooding back. Literally. Then, I thought of Emmett accompanying me. He would surely embarrass me but I couldn't resist those puppy dog eyes. Damn him.
"I'm a big girl Em, I can get my own tampons," I told him gently yet sternly.
"But Bella pweaseeee?" Emmett asked.
"No," I huffed staying firm.
"Pweaseeee," he begged giving me the puppy dog eyes.
"Fine," I said. Em began jumping up and down and screaming Yay. He was such a child sometimes.
"But," I said holding up one finger. " There is one condition."
"Yes?" he asked carefully in case it was something that would get him in trouble.
"You have to be on your best behavior," I told him.
"Yes ma'am," he said saluting me like a soldier would his commanding officer.
"Promise," I commanded.
"I Promise," he said "Now lets go," he ordered dragging me out of the door and into the Volvo.
"Um, Emmett you do know you aren't supposed to drive the Volvo, right?" I asked.
"Well they took the Mercedes and the Porsche so that only leaves the Volvo," he answered.
"Um, no that leaves the BMW and the jeep too." I countered not wanting to mess up Edward's precious car.
"Well I don't want blood on my seats and you know Rose would kill you if there was anything on hers." He said. Just like I wanted to protect Edward's car he wanted to protect his and Rose's. Well I guess I could understand. "Besides, he is your boyfriend." Emmett reminded me.
"Ugh, whatever," I grunted.
Emmett drove fast but not nearly as fast as Edward. In fact compared to Edward this was a slow Sunday drive in the country. Note to self: complain to Edward about his driving when he gets back.
We drove on until we reached the one small convenience store in Forks. When we parked in the lot it was relatively full. Great just my luck. Emmett being the gentleman he is, came around and opened my door for me.
"Come on Bella, you're going too slow," Emmett told me as we walked into the store.
"Em, I am human, not a super strong super fast vampire." I scolded.
"I can change that," he mumbled.
"Besides I'm sure the tampons will still be there when we get there," I said louder than I meant to. A middle-aged woman with messy bleached blond hair stared at me and ogled Em. She might have been pretty in her glory days but now she had gained about thirty pounds and was wearing an old ugly pink track suit that was way too tight.
"Emmett, you're getting checked out," I whispered so only he could hear me.
Emmett turned to where I was looking and smiled. I decided to make this interesting.
"Em, I dare you to go over there and hit on her," I told him.
"You're so on." he replied with a smirk.
Emmett pov:
"Emmett you're getting checked out," Bella whispered. I followed her line of sight until I saw the lady she was talking about.
Believe me it took all of my gentlemanly power to call her a lady. She was a bleached blond with a whole bottle of makeup on. I mean she looked like a transvestite (A/n no offence) She was huge and looked like she could be my grandmother. Oh and a bright pink track suit was so not her type of clothes.
Oh man, I did not just describe her clothes in my head. I was hanging out with Rose and Alice way too much now a days. I need some guy time to man up, and I definitely wasn't going to get it picking out tampons with Bella. When Jazz and Eddie-Weddie get back we're going to go and wrestle.
"Em I dare you to go over there and hit on her," Bella said. Cool this was a challenge, a manly challenge, one I would definitely win.
"You're so on," I said confidently. How hard could it be to get her under my charms?
I walked up to the lady and stood in front of her with my arms up to show off the greatly muscled physique that was me.
"Hello, beautiful," I murmured into her ear.
"Hey handsome," she said looking like Christmas had just come early.
"How are you doing?" I asked seductively.
"Just fine now," she said moving around the cart to stand beside me.
"Oh, and did I make your day?" I asked internally gagging at what I was being forced to do. I was so getting Bella for this.
"Yeah you did, and you can make a lot more sugar," she said grabbing my butt. Ewww, someone old enough to be my grandmother was grabbing my butt.
"Mmm, firm mama likee," She purred. And I mean she literally purred like a cat. I could feel it coming form her belly. Then she started to feel me up. If she didn't stopo I was so calling rape.
"So baby, my place or yours?" She asked me.
"Well sorry to lead you on....?" I said realizing I didn't even know her name. Well it doesn't matter she's just my experimental gain. (A/n: anybody who can tell me where that comes from gets a cookie.)
"It's Jillian hot stuff." she said putting her hands on her large hips. Jillian, such an old name for such an old woman.
"Well, I'm" I began but she cut me off.
"No need for you to give me a name, I'll just call you big papa," She purred. I heard Bella laugh from where she was listening in the next aisle. I shivered. I wasn't really going to give her my name. No, I was going to tell her my name was Edward and then give her his cell number, maybe there's still hope.
"Well, Jillian, I'm sorry to lead you on but I have a girlfriend." I told her.
"Oh that's fine I have a husband and three kids," she said not caring about anything. I bet her youngest kid was older than me. Ugh. She began to work her hands up my body again.
I was seriously getting uncomfortable with this hag feeling me up. That's when I got an idea. Bella had better go along with this.
Bella was still standing where she could see us. She was laughing so hard she could barely breathe. Stupid human.
"Hold that thought, I see someone I know" I said to Mertyle.
"Be quick, I'll be waiting handsome," She said with a grin, I shuddered.
I forced myself to walk to Bella at a human pace.
"Play along or else Edward gets it." I said so only she could hear me.
She nodded as I grabbed her hand and walked her over to where Mertyle was glaring at us. I walked Bella right up to her. Mertyle glanced down to the hand I had wrapped around Bella's waist.
"Mertyle, this is my girlfriend, Bella" I said gesturing to her. Bella's eyes widened in shock at the world girlfriend. No doubt she was thinking about what Edward would say. Ha, I wish she would get in trouble for this, but no Edward would forgive her for anything. Too bad Rose won't.
"Hello Jillian," Bella said with a fake smile. Jillian glared at her for half of a second.
"Hello Bella," Jillian managed to grind out from between her teeth.
"Well, Jillian don't you think she is the most beautiful girl in the world?" I asked trying to sound like a doting father.
"I've seen better," she mumbled.
"Yeah, I bet" I said sarcastically. Hey, if she had seen my Rose then she had definitely seen better. I mean Bella was beautiful in that human way but she was nothing compared to my Rose. Rose had it all, Legs, butt, and she knew how to please me.
As soon as she got back I was going to go knock down a house with her. Focus. I need to listen to what the hag is saying.
I snatched myself out of my Rose fantasy and tried to focus on the conversation
I guess Jillian decided to call our bluff. She walked up to me and started rubbing her hands on my nether regions (if you know what I mean). The whole time she was rubbing she stared pointedly at Bella. Bella looked angry. I jumped back away from the womans probing hands. This dare was getting to be too much even for the awesome me.
Bella walked up to the woman, looked her into the eyes and growled out. "Don't ever touch my Emmie Bear again" I must admit I was surprised to see that kind of anger from Bella. It was a regular occurrence with Rose but Bella was usually nice to everyone, even if they didn't deserve it. Especially if they didn't deserve it.
"That's my girl," I whooped.
"Are you sure about that?" Jillian asked.
"Why wouldn't he be sure about me?" she asked glaring at Jillian. She had better be careful about what she says to Bella or she might go missing.
"Well I've never really seen you two touch. Most young couples can't keep their hands off of each other." she clarified. Well, she was right. If Rose was here right now then we'd probably be going at it right now in the store room or the bathroom. Hell, we might even be going at it here in this aisle.
"Oh please, excuse me for not wanting to make out with my boyfriend in front of some old perv." Bella screeched like a banshee.
"I don't believe you do make out, you two probably just sit around and play tiddly winks to while away your time" she said with a grin. Wow, if I didn't step in now this was probably going to turn into a full blown cat fight. Over me. How lucky can one guy get.
"Oh, you'd be surprised at some of the things, Emmie and I do," Bella said, trailing off so technically it wouldn't be a lie. (Bella hates to lie. That's why she's so bad at it.) As long as she thought she was telling the truth she was fine. "Right Emmie?" she asked me.
"Right, Belly-bell-bells," I said making up a stupid nickname for her too. I mean that's the kind of stuff couples do. I call Rose my Rosie Posy, and she calls me her Big strong Teddy bear.
"I don't believe you but you know what they say...." she trailed off leaving us to fill in her blank.
"No" Bella said. "What do they say?" she asked looking testy. Gosh, it was easy to tell it was that time of the month. Poor Jillian didn't have a clue.
"They say that seeing is believing" she said with a flourish. Damn, she was a real drama queen, made my Rose seem like a second rate actress. Crap, I'm glad she didn't hear that.
"What do you mean?" I asked carefully.
"I mean I won't believe that you two are together until I see you kiss." she said with a smile, thinking that she had us.
I gulped looking at Bella. And Bella, well she looked even paler than I do. She looked like she had been punched in the stomach. I knew what she was thinking, I'm sure it was the same thing I was thinking.
Should we do it? How would Eddie and Rose feel? How long until they came back and killed us? How hurt would they be? And how could we make it up to them? Would they forgive us?
My resolve wavered with these thoughts. But surprisingly, Bella was the driving force. She looked firmly at me, her brown eyes alight with adrenaline (A/N: Does this sounds like Emmett? To me it sound more like Edward.) She gave me a small nod that would have been imperceptible to a human.
So, she thought we should do this and risk our soul mates anger. This woman must have seriously made her mad. I mean she never like to hurt Edward. Well if she could do it then I know I can.
"Come here Belly-bell-bells," I said beckoning for her with my hand.
"Of course Emmie" she said stepping closer to me.
I took a step closer to her and looked her in the eye. I took a deep breath that I didn't need. Bella looked at me with a slight frown. We leaned in until our lips touched. We pulled back quickly to look at Jillian.
Jillian laughed. "Is that what you call kissing?" she asked. "Please I've kissed my grandmother more than that." she chuckled. Ewww, she kissed her grandma on the lips, way too much information. Why do I find that easy to believe? Way too much information.
"Oh please, that was for your benefit, old lady." Bella bragged. "Our kisses are usually so steamy that they'll fog a mirror." Why didn't Bella stop while we were ahead? Was she trying to get our mates to kill us?
"Well, then let me see it. I haven't got all day." she said sounding irritated.
"Fine" Bella said.
I took another deep breath as I grabbed Bella around the waist. I tried to imagine Bella as Rose after five days of not seeing her. I looked down at Bella, she must be thinking about Edward. I leaned in closer pulling Bella the rest of the way into me. I put my lips on hers and together our lips moved in a complex dance that only we knew the steps to.
Damn, she was a good kisser. And poor Eddie wouldn't give any to her. She didn't attack like Rose but she kissed in her own sweet way. Her lips were soft and tasted like berry.
After about five more seconds I pulled her away panting. We both turned to look at Jillian who was looking very deflated.
"Well I guess you, two are together," she moped turning to walk away. "But Emmie, if she ever breaks your heart call me." she said tossing a piece of paper at me. I caught it.
"Oh, he'll never call. Don't you worry about that." Bella said.
Bella grabbed my hand and tried to drag me away. It took me a minute to realize what she was trying to do. When I finally got it I turned around and walked away.
As soon as we rounded the corner Bella burst out laughing. I looked at her like she was crazy. She must have saw the question in my eyes because she answered me.
"You were just felt up, attacked, forced to kiss your sister, and given a note by a perv." She said. "Don't you find that the least bit funny?" she asked through her giggles.
When she put it that way I couldn't help but laugh. I leaned against a nearby shelf and felt it shake under my weight, but I couldn't stop laughing at Jillian.
After I had calmed down I asked Bella "You know what's funny?" I asked.
"No what?" she wanted to know.
"Roses, middle name is Lillian." I told her.
We started to laugh again. A few minutes later after we have settled down a little more, I decided to ask Bella something.
"Hey, do you remember what we came here for in the first place?" I asked because I sure didn't.
"Emmett you are the dumbest most forgetful vampire I have ever met." Bella said with a grin to show that she was just joking. "Remember, we have to pick up some stuff for me?" she said emphasizing the word stuff.
Oh, and then it clicked. Bella was on her period and we had come here to get her some tampons. No wonder my family thought I was dumb. I mean I can't believe that I had forgotten that.
"Well we'd better go get those tampons," I said grinning as I watched Bella blush. I was going to miss that about her once she became a vampire.
"Fine," she mumbled.
"Well what aisle are they in?" I asked her.
"Ummm, I don't exactly know," She said blushing again. Wait, how could she not know?
"Wait how do you not know? Don't you buy those things every month?" I asked her a little too loudly.
"Yes, but Edward usually comes to get them for me or I get them in La Push with Jacob." She admitted. Wow, that was pretty sad.
"Wow, can you say whipped?" I said turning to Bella
"Edward is not whipped." Bella shouted into my face. I don't see why she was so mad all of us Cullen boys were whipped. Some (Edward) more than others.
"Okay, okay, Edward's not whipped can you please stop biting my head off?" I asked.
"Sorry, it's the hormones." she said shyly.
"Whatever," I mumbled. "Look why don't we just ask a sales associate." She nodded in agreement.
Bella angrily strode off in front of me and that's when I noticed a bright red flash around her butt. (No I wasn't looking at her butt but it was impossible to miss even without my super vampire sight.)
I speed walked until I was right behind her. I kept behind her trying to cover up the stain.
"Emmett what the hell are you doing?" She screeched. I can understand why though. I mean I was practically on her butt with my crotch. Not something that would be comfortable to my brothers girlfriend. Of course she should be happy, I mean I'm much hotter than Edward.
"Well, Bella there's a big spot on your ass," I said cutting through the bull. "I guess we talked to Jillian too long."
"Crap," she said more to herself than to me. She held me close to her butt. To anyone who saw us they would think that I was with Bella. Ugh.
"Come on lets go find a sales associate," I told her. She nodded and lead the way.
I looked around for one of those dorks in the bright red vests. I spotted one in the music aisle, and so I walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. Bella was still standing in front of me. Way too close for either of our comfort.
How bad can my luck be? The person I tapped was none other than Mike Newton. Great he was so going to tease me on Monday.
"Hello, how may I help you?" he said as he turned around. When he saw me his eyes widened. He probably thought I was going to beat him up. Tempting but not today. Still, I could try to piss him off.
"Hey Mikey, I need some help finding some stuff." I said in my usual cheery manner.
"Hey Mike" Bella said jabbing me in the shoulder. If she had a bruise Edward would kill me.
"What kind of stuff?" he asked trying to treat me nicely. He probably thought that I would tell the manager if he didn't. Well to be honest I probably would.
"Stuff for girls," I said trying to get him to figure it out. Bella giggled at Mike's stupidity.
"Stuff?" he asked. "You need to be more specific, Cullen," he said. Gosh, and they called me dumb. How hard was this to figure out.
"Tampons." I finally managed to say. Bella blushed redder if that's possible. I mean this idiot so wasn't going to get it.
"Ohhh, aisle, six" he said looking at me with a grin. "That time of the month for Rose, huh?" he asked. Hello, idiot Bell was standing right here.
"No, it's not for Rose," I told him.
"Oh yeah?" he asked skeptically. "Then who's it for?" I glanced over to where Bella was standing, and decided to get some revenge.
"Bella and Edward." I said as Bella blushed ten different shades of red. "Oh and where's the birth control?"
"Birth control?" he asked like he had never heard of it before. Well he probably hadn't. I mean it was pretty obvious the only action he was getting was from Bella's picture.
"Yeah, Bella and Edward, well you didn't hear it from me." I said so low that only he could hear it slipping him a hundred dollar bill.
"Of course not. Aisle 7 for the other stuff" he said skipping over the words birth control. Man, he couldn't even say it.
"Hey, Cullen can I ask you something?" Mike asked.
"Sure" I said not knowing where this was going to go.
"Bella, go stand over there while the men are talking," I joked. She scowled at me.
Bella walked over to stand on the shelf. She was pouting, wanting to hurry up and get out of here. She was probably thinking of what would happen if anyone saw her stain.
"I just wanted to know if you and Bella are well, together?" he asked. This gave me my inspiration. Both Rose and Edward would kill me if they ever found out. And I knew they would find out. Ah well, I was more afraid of Rose. I mean all Edward could do was kill me but Rose could refuse to give me some.
"Yeah," I said deciding to risk this. I mean it would so be worth it.
" I thought you were with Rose, and Bella was with Edward?"
"We were but then we started swinging and liked it too much to go back" I said.
"Well I can't say that I'm surprised" Mike sighed. He might not have been surprised but I sure as hell was.
"What do you mean you're not surprised?" I asked.
"Well you two are together and joke around so much, that you must be together." he stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Well, we did spend a lot of time together at school. Just joking and hanging out. Ugh, of course the Forks kids would get some kind of affair from it. Hmm, why didn't Edward tell us? He probably didn't want to think about my sexy body on Bella. Prude.
"Oh yeah you guys figured it out." I said turning to go get Bella.
"Oh and Emmett, The birth control isn't for Edward and Bella is it?" he asked.
"No, it's for Bella and her new man," I said leaving him to puzzle it out.
"Come on Bella-Babe" I said loud enough for Mike to hear.
"Okay Emmie, bear," I knew Mike heard that because I heard him laugh. In two hours the whole school would know. We walked off to find aisle six and the tampons.
"So what did Mike want?" she asked.
"Oh, he just wanted to know if we were cheating on our significant others," I told her hoping she wouldn't want to know what I had said.
"Did he actually say significant others?" Bella giggled.
"No, he just said Rose and Edward." I told her. "Why?"
"Well it didn't sound like him. In fact it sounds more like Edward." she said.
"What? It sounded old fashioned and lame?" I asked innocently. I didn't fool her.
"Shut up Emmett," she said jabbing me in the stomach. That's another bruise that I'll be blamed for. Ah, poor me.
"So what did you tell Mike?" she asked. Damn, the one question that I didn't want her to ask she asks. Oh well, she wants to know.
"Well you're not going to like it," I said trying to buy some time. "I didn't want her to go all hormonal on me right now.
"I don't care if I'll like it just tell me." she said obviously losing patience. Not that she had that much before.
"I might have told him that we were swinging and decided we liked things better this way." I admitted.
I expected her to yell at me or at least say ew that would never happen. But no she just started laughing. I love Bella but she was strange, I mean she always said the unexpected. Whenever you think you've got her figured out she throws you a curve ball, but I guess that's why she and Edward belong together.
"You might have told him that we swing," she said in between giggles. I couldn't help it her laugh was infectious. The next thing I knew I was laughing, and Bella was bright red. Crap, I forgot she needs to breathe.
"Breathe, Bella," I told her. She took a breath.
"Stop, Emmett!" she said throwing her arm out in front of me.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because that's aisle six, which is where the tampons are." she explained slowly. Sheesh, mood swing much. Gosh, maybe we should pick up some midol while we're here.
We walked in the aisle marked feminine hygiene. This aisle looked vaguely familiar.
"Hey Emmie, does this aisle look familiar?" Bella asked me.
"Yeah, it does why?" I asked. I really had no idea why it looked familiar. I had never been in the tampon aisle before.
"This is the same aisle we had our show down with Jillian," she said. Well I stand corrected. I had been in this aisle before.
"Wait, so we just walked around this store for..." I glanced at my watch. "An hour and we were here from the very start?"
"Yep," Bella said popping the 'p'.
"That sucks," I said.
"Doesn't it just?" she asked with a smile.
"Well hurry up, and pick your kind" I told her.
She walked up and down the row scanning the labels. After, about ten minutes she walked up to me and said, " They don't have them."
"Well just get another kind," I told her.
"No. I need that kind. I can't just change," she screeched at me. When she talked like that she sounded a lot like Rose. I wonder could those two be related.
"Fine, I'll just go ask a sales rep. You stay here," I ordered.
"Okay, hurry back." she commanded.
I walked out of the aisle and found another rep. I walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. Apparently, it was harder than I had meant for it to be because, he screamed out.
And lucky me. I had to get the second biggest male gossip in the whole school. Tyler Crowley. Ah, well might as well give him something good to take home.
"Hey Crowley, I need some special tampons. Do you have them?" I asked handing him the sheet of paper Bella had written the name of it on.
"I can go check," he told me. As soon as he entered the back store room I heard him burst out laughing. Why can't a guy just come in a store and buy some tampons? Oh yeah, now I remember.
After Tyler's laughing fit, he came back out with a small white box. Ugh, why are the women on the box always playing sports in a white outfit?
"Hey, Cullen is it that time of the month already?" he asked me in a seemingly sympathetic way. Poser.
"Ooh, yeah." I said sounding shy like Bella. "You wouldn't believe how I'm feeling." I told him
"Oh, do tell Emettilda," he said changing my name to make it more feminine.
"Well, look how bloated I am. I look like a house." I told him lifting my shirt to show him my perfect 24-pack.
"Aww, poor baby" he cooed. Ewww, he just cooed to me. This guy is so fruity.
"Yeah and that's just the half of it." I said. "My hormones are jumping and they're making me have mood swings." I said teasing him.
"Oh well that's gonna be alright." he said trying to leave.
"Oh and don't get me started on the cramps..." I trailed off.
"Um, yeah well I gotta go do something that's not this..." he said turning to run away. Wuss.
Damn the idiot forgot to give me the tampons. Ten seconds later he walked back up to me looking sheepish.
"Here, you go," he said. I left him there trying to apologize for his behavior.
I speed walked a little faster than a human would be able to, but luckily no one saw it. In five more seconds I was in the aisle with a seriously pissed off Bella.
"Where the hell were you?" she asked angrily.
"I had to find an associate, and then it turned out being Tyler Crowley and you know I just had to mess with him." I explained. "I'm sorry," I said with the puppy dog eyes that she can't resist.
"Ugh, fine you're forgiven," she gave in. What can I say I just have that effect on people. They always give me what I want.
"Come on, we'd better go pay for this," he said.
"Fine" she said getting up to stand with her butt on my crotch again. Too bad Eddie never got to enjoy this. Poor repressed little guy.
"Oh, and you might want to take these, Bella," I said trying to hand her the tampon box. She wouldn't take it.
"Gosh, Emmett just be a man and carry it." She yelled. I wonder if she's always at Edward's throat like this when she has her period. Of course Edward wouldn't say anything against her. In his eyes she was perfect.
In the Forks market there are only two registers. One was manned by Mike and the other by Tyler. I decided we should go screw with Mike. I wrapped my arms around my waist so that it looked like we could be humping. Ha, I didn't have to be Jasper to feel the lust and jealousy radiating off of Mike.
"Hey Mikey," I said.
"Emmie-bear, Bella" he said emphasizing The bear part.
"Mike," she purred while lifting her hand to stroke my face. Damn, she was good at flirting. I wonder does she do this to Edward. If she did this was probably as far as they went.
"I heard you two were together?" he asked hoping that I was lying and Bella would run to him. Wow, he must be delusional.
"Yeah, Emmie keeps me happy don't you baby?" She asked with a seductive coo. She was laying it on pretty thick. Ah, well anything to get Mike.
"You know it" I said cockily.
"Will that be all?" Mike asked to change the subject.
"Yeah, I think so, unless you have extra extra large condoms?" I asked. Bella's eyes widened. She realized that this was going way too far.
"Ummm, here you go," he exclaimed practically throwing them at me. Ha.
"Thanks," I said.
"That'll be $9.85" he said.
"Here," I said handing him a twenty. "Keep the change"
"Thanks!" he squealed like a girl. "Oh and Emmett weren't you supposed to pick up some birth control?" he asked.
Damn, I knew that I had forgotten something. Oh, well it was too late now. That's when I saw her. Our buddy Jillian was still here.
"Bella look over there. There's your friend." I pointed to Jillian. Bella growled. Wait, Bella growled. She was spending way too much time with us. Seriously she was made to be a vamp.
"Who?" Mike asked. "The one in the pink track suit?" Wow, Mike what a brilliant deduction. I mean, she's the only one standing there.
"Yeah," Bella said. "Hey can you file assault charges here at the store?" she asked with a malicious glint in her eyes. Whatever she had planned it didn't bode well for Jillian.
"Yeah, but Why?" Mike asked hesitantly.
"That woman over there she sexually harassed Emmie in aisle 6." she said sounding like she was about to cry. And Edward said she wasn't a good actress. She had this wimp going.
"Um sure just fill this paper out." he said sounding slightly dazzled. I guess he likes that damsel in distress routine.
"Sure, thanks Mike. You have no idea how happy this makes me," she said in her seductive tones.
Ten minutes later we had filled out the papers and were back in Edward's Volvo. Bella was laughing at how fun our day was. Man Edward, had better start doing fun things with her or she might get someone else to do it for her.
We drove home and the first thing Bella did was grab her tampons and run into the bathroom to apply one. I walked up the stairs and stood right outside the door. I wanted to scare her again.
I noticed that she had left the box on the floor outside of the bathroom. I decided to do a little something to freak her out.
Bella POV
After inserting the tampon, I stood in the bathroom thinking over the events of my day. It had been hilarious. I just hope Edward and Rose don't find out about half of the stuff we did. Of course, Edward will all he'll have to do is read Mike's mind. Stupid small town.
I took a few extra minutes to wash my face. Emmett must be bored stiff. I took a deep breath before opening the door.
"Boo!" A booming voice said right beside me. I know I jumped a foot into the air. Major deja vu.
I started to yell at Emmett but that's when I got a good look at him. I couldn't help but laugh.
He had taken my tampons and strung some of them into a headband on his head. He had a few made into a belt. How he got them around his waist was only my guess. Then he had like five in his pants if you know what I mean. It looked like Rose had gotten him excited.
Then he had two in his curly hair like they were ribbons. There was one in each ear like some sick earring. The last two were in his nose. Ew, note to self don't use those. As soon as my slow human brain put this image together I was doubled over clutching my stomach, because I was laughing way too hard.
"Grr, don't laugh at the mighty tampon warrior." Emmett growled out.
"Or what?" I managed to gasp out in between outbursts of laughter.
"You don't want to find out," he growled menacingly. Was he trying to make me scared of him?
"Oh please Emmie, I'm more afraid of a teddy bear than I am of you." I smirked.
"Oh yeah?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said bravely.
He didn't even answer. He just ran at me so fast that he was a blur. He threw me over his shoulder, and ran me down the stairs and out of the door, that I didn't see him open. He ran around the forest and dropped me on my butt in a meadow that was beautiful, but no where near as perfect as Edward's meadow.
"Are you afraid now?" He asked growling at me.
"Oh yes, you are such a big scary brute," I said acting afraid. A two year old wouldn't have been fooled. "Em, what are you supposed to be?"
"I am not Em, I am the gruesome period monster." he growled. " I torture guys, with mood swings and I torture girls with hormones, cramps, and bloating."
I couldn't help it I laughed again. Then Emmett settled down so we were laying on the ground. I was propped on his hard stomach. To some passerby we probably looked like some insane escaped psycho couple.
"You know you're insane, right Emmie?" I asked him.
"Not as crazy as your boyfriend," he replied.
"How's he crazy?" I wanted to know.
"Well, seriously the guy hears voices" Emmett said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"It's not his fault," I said slapping him. Great another bruise to add to the bunch. If I didn't get away from Emmett I was going to be black and blue.
"Of course not insanity's no ones fault." he said taking on the term of a therapist. I just grunted a response.
"Please look at Rose, she has to take care of a child," I joked.
"A sexy ripped child," he clarified. I rolled my eyes. Rose and Emmett had more in common than I thought. They were both vain, cocky, full of themselves, and both were sex addicts.
"Besides this sexy ripped child gets a lot more than you ever will." he said with a grin. Needless to say I was ten different shades of red.
We laid in the meadow for a while talking and joking on each others soul mates. Of course, most of Emmie's jokes were about Edward and my sex life or rather lack of.
We probably would have continued in this way for a while longer but then my humanity had to ruin it. My stomach growled loudly enough for my sensitive ears to hear. Emmett lurched up launching me off of his chest.
"Damn," he said "Edward warned me you had to eat. Sorry I guess I forgot."
"It's fine Emmett, I just realized I was hungry." I soothed him. Note to self make sure Edward doesn't get on his case. It was an honest mistake.
"Climb aboard," he said with his goofy grin while pulling me on his back.
We were back at home too soon. I was going to go cook something, but Emmett volunteered to cook.
"Let me do it Bella," he whined in my ear.
"Can you even cook?" I asked skeptically.
"Edward's not the only one who can do stuff," he mumbled hurt. Damn it, everyone always makes me feel so bad.
"Fine if it makes you feel any better, you can cook." I said defeated.
"Thanks, Belly-Bell-bells" he said lifting me into a bone breaking hug.
"Can't...... breathe," I gasped out.
"Oh, sorry" he said dropping me on my butt. That was the second time today, I hope it doesn't become a habit.
"Ow" I shouted behind him as he took off running to the kitchen.
I decided to just sit on the couch and wait for him to finish. I laid down, took out the remote and started flipping through the channels. I finally stopped on a movie, High school musical. I really hate this movie, but I can't tear my eyes from it.
Thirty minutes into the movie Emmett came in with my food. He had fried chicken, cooked some macaroni and cheese, some type of vegetables, and he had a large cup of coke in his left hand.
I must say it was delicious. I thought it would make me sick or something.
"Mmm, Emmie this is delicious," I said.
"See, I told you I could cook." he bragged. "Oh and when you're done there's dessert."
That's when he noticed the movie that was on.
"Ahh," he squealed like a girl. "I love high school musical." I wouldn't tell anybody.
"Why?" I asked. "This movie sucks. Zac Effron is gay. The singing is lame at best. And it just isn't very good." I said bluntly.
"Lies, all lies" he said.
"Whatever." I said dropping it. "I'm ready for dessert, now."
"Ok," he said running off into the kitchen.
He came back a few seconds later with a piece of chocolate cake and a plate of chocolate ice cream.
I put a bite of the cake in my mouth. It was so moist it practically melted in my mouth.
"Emmett you really out did yourself," I said with a smile.
"Oh it was nothing Bella," he said with that mischievous grin of his. Oh, well maybe he's just happy.
We sat on the couch and just watched movies. Emmett kept smiling at weird times. He had to have done something. I just don't know what yet.
I guess I fell asleep on the couch. I tried to tell what had woke me up. Ugh, it was my stomach and the fact that I needed to change my tampon. I got up to change it, but my stomach felt like it was going to run from my body.
Emmett's cooking must have gave me diahreah Ugh, I spent the rest of the night on the toilet. Early in the morning when I finally was sure I was done.
Standing outside was Emmett himself. I was too tired to even tell him off about his cooking. I tried to walk around him but he just blocked me. That's when I noticed the box he was holding out in front to him. It said Choco-Ex-Lax on the front. That's it I'm going to kill him. I'm going to tear him apart and burn the pieces, no I'll get Edward to do it.
Emmett's pov:
Bella thinks high school musical sucks, well I'll show her. I decided to add a little surprise to her cake. I pulled out my old friend. Mr. Choco-Ex-Lax. And it found it's way onto her cake.
"Emmett you really out did yourself," she said with a smile.
"Oh it was nothing Bella," I said with smiling back. I watched her eat it with rapped attention making sure she swallowed each and every bite.
We sat back and watched some movies. I thought she would have figured out something was up, I mean I started smiling in anticipation during a murder mystery where most of the people die.
She fell asleep on my chest. I thought about carrying her up to bed but I was just too lazy. About an hour later, she got up and went to the bathroom. I stood listening outside the door. She was going all night.
Hours, later she finally emerged, mumbling something about matches. She tried to walk around me but, I blocked her. At first, she didn't notice the box that I was holding. When she saw it her eyes widened.
I thought she would try to attack me or something but no she just went to Edward's room and went to sleep. Maybe it was the hormones. Well only 4 more days to go.
Day 2:
Bella wasn't too angry today. She said she understood, but I still think it was just the hormones. Oh well I'll take it as long as I don't get in trouble.
We didn't do much. Today, we just watched old movies. She wouldn't let me cook anymore. I know Edward's going to get me when he gets back, but I couldn't let her talk about HMS.
Day 3:
Today was horrible. Bella was really pissy.
She was bloated and kept asking me did she look fat. When I said yeah, she hit me causing herself to bruise. When, I said no she said that I was a huge liar. Then she would burst out crying. Ugh, how did Edward take it every month? Well only two more days.
Oh, and not to mention the cramping. She was mumbling about pain all day. I had to go out and get her some midol. When I got back she was angry and then she was crying. I'm so glad Rose doesn't have a period.
I was so relieved when she finally went to sleep. She snored all night and I just sat enjoying the first peace I had, had all day long.
I wish Rose was here she would know how to handle Bella. Of course, Bella would probably be so scared she wouldn't make a sound. Gosh, I miss Rose tight now. I wish she were here. If she was we could have fun on Edward's piano. Maybe when she gets back. Ugh, I'm so glad Edward doesn't know about this, if he did he would kill me.
Day 4:
Bella was much more like herself today, and the bloody smell was gone. I guess that means it's almost over. Oh happy day.
Today we just talked and joked. It was normal. And the best part? There was no crying.
Day 5:
Bella ran into me this morning. Hah, I bet she's black and blue all over.
You might ask why I'm so joyful all of a sudden. It's because this morning Bella gave me the best news ever.
"IT's over Emmie" she squealed jumping up and down. It took me a second to get what she was talking about. Then I got it.
"Yay," I squealed jumping up and down with her. This was the best news that I gotten in five days.
"Oh and guess what?" she asked.
"What?" I asked back with a grin.
"Today Edward and Rose come back," she said still jumping up and down. Uh-oh.
"Crap" I said. I immediately stopped jumping up and down.
"What?" she asked still jumping. This girl was like the energizer bunny, she kept going and going. No wait, that was Rose. She kept going and going and going all night long.
"Do you remember any of the things we have done in the last five days?" I asked.
She blushed a very interesting red. "Oh," she gasped. "Well they won't know about it until Monday"
"Well..." I trailed off not wanting to be the bearer of bad news.
"Well what?" she asked suspiciously with narrowed eyes.
"Well Edward can sort of hear all of the thoughts in the Forks area," I tumbled the words out.
"Ugh," she groaned putting her head in her hands.
"Relax, I can run us to Canada if you want," I offered.
"No thanks, Emmett but it was a sweet offer." she said smiling at me.
"Okay," I shrugged. "So what do you want to do today?"
"Well how about we just chill and watch more of your movies?" she asked.
"Sure," I agreed. This was all we had done for the past four days. "What do you want to watch?"
"Wuthering Heights," she chirped up immediately. Great we have to watch another classic. Ugh, if I could sleep then I would fall asleep on that boring movie. I don't even remember buying it.
"Do we have to Belly-Bell Bells?" I asked using her nickname hoping it would soften her up. It didn't work.
"Yes we do," she answered going to pop the DVD in.
"Geez, Bella way to be mean." I commented. "Are you sure the hormones are gone?"
"Yes, I'm sure, Emmie" she teased. "Now shut up so I can concentrate on the movie."
"Concentrate? You've seen this movie like a thousand times," I said.
"Two thousand seven hundred and sixty-two," she said without looking away from the screen. Wow, obsessive much. Who actually keeps count of how many times they watched a movie?
I didn't really watch the movie. Bella sat staring with rapt attention at the screen. That's when I heard it. It was the distinct sound of 6 pairs of feet running faster than any human can. That meant one thing. My family was coming home.
I didn't try to tell Bella. She was too engrossed in the movie.
About ten seconds later there was a knock on the door. Of course, it was the family. Bella looked up alarmed. She was in her own little world.
The door opened and Carlisle walked in followed by Esme, Alice, Jasper, Edward, and last but not least my Rose. She looked stunning in a tight red babydoll dress with white leggings and red stilettos. I wanted to take her right then.
I wasn't expecting everyone to go straight upstairs. Everyone except Rose and Edward. Bella finally managed to tear her eyes away from the tv. Now she was feasting on Edward. I don't know which one was worse.
Then I looked at Rose. Rose stuck out her hand and beckoned for me. My pants got tighter at the sight. She looked so good in that itsy bitsy dress. I got up and walked to her like a zombie.
Edward ran up to Bella and picked her up. The next thing I knew they were making out pretty heavily on the couch. Please, is that the best they can do?
Edward pulled away from Bella long enough to shoot daggers at me. Like I care. Then, I turned back to my Rose without thorns.
She was getting impatient. I sped up my walking speed. In less then a second I was at her side and everything felt as if it were right in the world.
"Damn, Rosie Posie, I missed you." I said wrapping my arms around her perfect waist.
"I missed you too Emmie-Bear," She said. Wait, what did she just call me?
"I believe she just called you Emmie-bear," Edward threw in from his place on the couch.
Crap, that's what I thought she said. No one called me that except Bella. That meant she probably knew everything that went on this week.
"Belly-Bell-Bells, I love you" he said twirling a strand of her long brown hair. Uh-oh, this would not end well. "Almost as much as I love my Rosie-Rose,"
Bella looked sick. I guess she recognized her nick-name too. Or maybe it was Edward saying he loved Rose.
"I love you too Emmie-Bear, almost as much as I love my Eddie-Weddie."
"Yes, I think swinging was the best idea we ever had," Edward commented.
"Oh and Emmie, how's Jillian?" Rose asked.
"Great, I guess," I said abashed.
"Yeah, cause you know Rose's middle name is Lillian." Edward interjected.
"Look guys can we stop the pretense?" Bella asked. Bless her.
"What pretense?" Edward asked looking innocent. Innocent my butt.
"You know about what happened Monday after you left." I said.
"Yes, we do" Rose admitted.
"Well let us have it." Bella said sighing in anticipation.
"Have what Bella, love?" Edward asked like he really didn't know.
"Don't you know all of what happened?" Bella asked.
"I think so, is there anything you would like to add?" Rose asked.
"Well Emmett and I had a full on make-out session in front of an old lady, then we walked around with his crotch on my butt to hide a stain. Oh, and then Emmett told Mike we were dating and Mike told everyone. Oh, and last but not least, Emmett ran into Tyler and acted like he had his period." she said in one breath.
"Okay," Rose and Edward said together. If Bella kept her mouth shut then we just might get away with this. I can only hope. But of course Bella's stupid conscience wouldn't just let her let it go.
"But did you not hear me?" she asked like she was talking to mental people, and hey maybe she was. How else can you explain how cool they were taking this. Usually Rose would have threatened to tear me apart and burn the pieces if I didn't grovel. Maybe, I should start now. "Did you not hear that I just made out with your brother and your husband?" she asked.
"Yes, we heard you," Rose said.
"Wait you did?" I couldn't help but ask. Maybe I am dumb.
"Yes, we did." Edward repeated.
I was confused. Of course, that was nothing new in this family. "Can I have a private conversation with Bella?" I asked.
"Sure," they both said. This was seriously bothering me.
"C'mon, Bella" I said escorting her upstairs. Well I was going to take her upstairs until I heard some very disturbing sounds coming from Alice's room and from Carlisle's room. Ew, I guess they hadn't got any in a while either. Needless to say I turned right around and instead I went outside.
"What do you think?" I asked.
"I don't know," she replied, "Edward would probably forgive me but Rose...." she trailed off. She was right, Rose would hold her personally responsible, and I wouldn't be getting any for a while. I think I got the worst end of the deal.
"I'll be lucky if she forgives me," I assured her.
"Well let's go face the music. After all it is our fault." she said taking responsibility for our actions like always.
I put her on my back and I ran her back to the house. Rose and Edward had moved.
Rose was snuggled up to Edward on the couch reading a fashion magazine. Edward had his arm snaked around his waist. They looked like some happy couple. I was seeing red. It took all of my strength not to go over there and rip his arms off.
Bella looked like she had been punched in the stomach by a newborn. She was so hurt, but that didn't stop her anger.
"What the hell is going on in here?" we both shouted my eyes full of fury, and Bella's full of tears.
Then they were laughing. Not just regular haha! That's so funny, but this was gut-wrenching, stomach hurting laughter. Rose was leaning on Edward for support. Edward was slapping his leg and holding his sides with one hand, the other he still had around Rose.
"Excuse me?" Bella asked with clear anger and pain in her voice. "What is so funny?"
"Bella," Edward gasped out in between his laughter. "We know what you did we were there." What?
"What?!?!" We asked. By this point they had managed to settle down a little.
"Well, we couldn't trust you with Bella," Edward said honestly.
"Why not?" I asked.
"Hmm, I maybe because you'd do something stupid like give her Ex-Lax." My Rose said in her sarcastic tone. As much as I hate to admit it they were right to keep an eye on her.
"Too true," Bella threw in. Traitor.
"So we stayed around and hunted locally," Edward began. "Then when we heard that Bella had her period we knew you would have to go to the store,"
"So we followed you around." Rose took up. "When Bella dared you to go hit on Jillian we almost died laughing. Then when she started raping you it was hilarious. Of course, you do know that only I can touch you there," she said touching me and making my pants become tighter. Edward grimaced and looked away.
"Then you went to get Bella. Let's just say Jillian had some R-rated thoughts and she was getting her way with you one way or another. Oh and Bella she wasn't against you joining in until you started growling." He said. "Oh and let me be the first to say that the growling was super sexy."
"Thanks" Bella replied blushing.
"But wait we kissed twice?" I asked.
"Puh-lease Emmett if that first one can even be called a kiss. I must say I was disappointed in your kissing." Rose said.
"Well what about the second one?" Bella asked in a whisper.
"Us," Rose said smugly.
"Come again?" I asked when I didn't understand.
"We had Jasper crank up the lust," Edward clarified. No wonder I was feeling so... hot in my nether regions.
"Then you gave Bella laxatives," Rose giggled. Bella growled, and Edward's turned on.
"Yeah, and she spent the whole night on the toilet," I said with pride as Bella and Eddie shot me death glares.
"So let me get this straight," I said to clarify. "You're not mad at us,"
"No," Edward said.
"Not at all," my Rose said with a shrug.
Edward came and pulled Bella up into an embrace. He was about to take her to his room, but being the good brother I am I gave him the advice to stay away. Needless to say he did.
I walked over to Rose. She wrapped her hands around my neck and I put mine around her waist. She smiled up into my eyes. This was heaven, this was perfection.
"So you were thinking about me the whole time we were 'gone'?" she asked.
"I'm always thinking about you." I told her. "When you're here and when you're not."
"Aww, I love you Emmie-bear," she squealed. I guess she had adopted that name. Oh well, I liked the way it sounded when it flowed from her lips.
"And I love you too, Rosie-Posie." I whispered in her ears.
"Do you want to go play some reindeer games?" she purred.
"Yes, I do" I said waggling my eyebrows in the sexy way she loves.
"Fine, but we're not going upstairs!" she called out.
"First one to the meadow, gets to pick the game," I called out as I sprinted for the meadow.
All's well that ends well.
A/n: well guys here it is. I hope you liked it. And yes, I know it took forever to update. But, I've been busy. I had church stuff, then my birthday was Sunday (the 28th), then Monday was the beginning of band camp, so I won't be able to update for a while. Oh and the next time I update it'll be on my other story The Cullens go to therapy. Read and review.
Review's=Happy Camper. Happy Camper=I write faster. I write faster=You guys get your updates quicker, then you review because you're so happy! It's a cycle. Keep it going!