Revelations and Expectations

by Kariesue

Will things go awry when secrets are revealed? And will Sheppard pay the price?

10. Chapter 10

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"That one looks like a dog," John pointed his finger up into the sky at the clouds as he and Torren lay on their backs on the large expanse of lawn past the pool. "See the ears and the tail."

Torren sat up and rested his hands on John's chest. "What a dod?"

"It's an animal that people have for a pet. Like that book we read about Clifford. Only the clouds are white not red, so it can't be Clifford."

"Otay," Torren answered although John wasn't sure if the kid really understood what he was saying. They had both taken a short nap and had decided to slowly wake up by looking at the clouds that were floating by in the large, blue ocean of sky.

"You know what?" John snapped up on his elbows. "We should get you a dog!"

"Lite dat?" Torren pointed to the cloud.

"No, a real dog." John looked over at Teyla who was just approaching from the house.

"Hey, Teyla, what do you think about getting Torren a dog?" John's eyes were lit up like fireworks.

"A dog?" Teyla questioned. "That is one of those creatures your people keep as pets. I have seen them in many of the movies we have watched. But what would we do with one and where would we keep it?"

"You play with it," John informed her. "And we could get a real big one and train it to kill Wraith!"

"Would the Wraith not just stun it as they do us?" Teyla asked. "The care and feeding of this creature would also be time consuming would it not? And require space in our quarters?"

"All right," John conceded. "Maybe it's not the most sensible idea. Still, I just think a kid should have a dog."

"Did you have one as a child?"

"We had two," Dave joined in as he and Julia made their way to the grassy area as well. Dave was carrying a large plastic ball and Julia had Teyla's video camera.

"All right, you got one!" John exclaimed as Dave threw the ball to him. "This is something else every kid needs to have, a ball. You ready, T.J.?"

John threw the ball a short distance away and Torren ran to get it. He brought it back to John saying, "Aden!"

John tossed the ball again, this time telling Dave, "Show T.J. how to kick it back."

Dave moved over to Torren and modeled running up to the ball and kicking it. Torren looked at him wide-eyed, ran up to the ball and missed, falling onto his bottom.

Dave decided he'd try another method. He grabbed Torren under the arms, swung him between his legs and then swung him back out so his legs connected with the ball, sending it flying over John's head.

John clapped and cheered and Teyla ran behind John to get the ball. She dropped it back in John's lap where he rolled it in T.J. and Dave's direction again.

After Dave helped Torren kick it again a few times they backed up and Dave said, "Let's see if we can send it straight to Uncle John. We need to kick it softer."

This time Dave didn't swing the boy as hard but Torren had gotten the swing of things, literally, and used his momentum to send the ball well over John's head again.

"I think he's gonna play soccer," John noted, cheering him on again.

But Dave was looking for a way to get John more personally involved. He hated seeing him just sitting there unable to fully participate.

"John, make a goal with your legs and we'll practice kicking it in there."

John needed to physically move the legs with his hands but he got them in a big V. John patted the grass in front of him and called out, "Okay, Pal. I need you to kick it right here."

This time Dave barely lifted Torren off the ground when he kicked and the ball rolled right between John's legs.

"Perfect! See if you can do it again, Pal!" John encouraged.

Teyla came to sit behind John's shoulder and cheer her son on as well. Dave started showing Torren how to run and move the ball at the same time. The child's little legs kept kicking the ball all over the place which kept him running left and right as well as towards John.

"Come on, right here!" John called again patting the grass in front of him.

Torren managed to get the ball about five feet in front of John and he gave another big kick. The ball flew up toward John's face making John lean back to catch it. In doing so he fell right onto Teyla who also ended up on her back.

T.J. decided he needed to get into the action and he launched himself in the direction of the two adults lying in the grass. John just got his arms up in time to slow the boy's descent onto his chest.

After a few moments of laughter, Teyla broke in, "Excuse me, you two, but Mama Bear is getting severely squashed by Papa and Baby Bear."

John had been enjoying the feel of Teyla's softness underneath his back, especially since her arms had gone around him defensively when they'd started to fall. But all good things must come to an end.

He started to sit up and put Torren in Teyla's lap while he twisted around to help her sit back up. Once up with Teyla beside him and Torren spread between both their laps, John noticed Julia with the video camera focused on them.

"So, do we get on Funniest Home Videos?"

Julia had enjoyed being a spectator during these games. She'd recorded some of the better action and had really enjoyed seeing David interact with Torren. She chuckled. There was hope for him yet.

But she absolutely loved watching John with Teyla and T.J. They relished every moment they had with each other. But she knew they were well aware how few moments that would be.

She ran the tape back a bit, stopping at a few different frames. Here was one that would rival any portrait photographer around. It almost looked posed. John had his arm around Teyla and T.J. was in Teyla's lap. They were pretty much looking in Julia's direction. John's sunglasses had fallen off during the tussle so you could see the amusement in his eyes. And Teyla and Torren were beaming with pleasure as well.

They almost looked like they had dressed for a photo shoot, too. John and T.J. were wearing similar outfits of jeans and navy blue shirts. Teyla was also wearing jeans but in contrast had on a white peasant style blouse, and one shoulder had slipped down slightly. Julia figured if she had the chance, she might use this so John would have a reminder picture for the rest of his stay.

When she looked back up, the ball was being kicked around, this time by Teyla as well as Torren and David. Teyla was attempting to kick the ball or get her son to kick the ball so it landed in John's reach. He didn't seem to mind pulling himself a few inches but more than that was not feasible.

Torren didn't quite understand the concept of keeping it close enough to John, so often Teyla would find herself fetching it if it went too far. Teyla watched as her son kicked the ball and saw it move slightly behind John. She waited to see if John could reach it as it rolled.

He twisted his body to follow the path of the ball and as he did his left knee moved toward his upper body, he got a grip on the grass with his foot and he pushed himself enough to grab the ball.

Teyla quickly ran over to him as he turned back in their direction. "John, are you aware that you just moved your leg to get closer to the ball?"

John looked at the still bent knee and his eyes grew confused. "Did I do that?"

Julia and Dave seemed to have noticed his movement as well and both came to sit near him.

"Not sure I can do that again, though," John confided. He looked at his leg and his face became strained. But while they watched, the leg moved. It was only an inch or two, but it moved.

"Okay, you all saw that, too, right? I didn't just imagine it?" John's face beamed.

Dave slapped him on the back and grinned from ear to ear. "We saw it, John. Nice work!"

"And I got the first one on tape," Julia gloated. She played it back for John whose face was a blend of emotions.

Teyla put one hand on John's leg and grasped his hand with the other. "See, John, you are improving every minute of each day."

"Must be you and T.J. here. I guess you'll both just have to stay until I'm completely better," John joked, though everyone present knew he'd like nothing more.

Dave pulled Torren toward him saying, "I've got an idea. How about if Julia and I take T.J. to see the horses up close? We could even go for a little ride up behind the house."

John nodded, "That's a great idea! I think he'd love it. Teyla, you should go with them."

Teyla's eyes filled with alarm. "I do not feel the need to see those creatures any closer than they are now. They are quite beautiful but I believe I shall stay here. Perhaps another time."

John gave a low chuckle. "You're not afraid are you, Teyla?"

"Of course not," she replied and told Torren where he would be going. The boy was thrilled and took off in the direction of the fence.

Dave grabbed him before he'd run two yards and turned back toward John. "I'll take good care of him, I promise."

"You'd better," John threatened.

Julia followed behind the two 'boys' as they headed for the barn.

As soon as they'd disappeared, John flopped onto his back and tugged Teyla down next to him.

"More cloud watching," John explained as he put his sunglasses back on.

"And what is the purpose behind this?" Teyla wondered as her eyes also looked to the sky.

"It's just relaxing. And you can see shapes and images in the clouds. See up there," John pointed to a large cluster. "That looks like McKay and Zalenka fighting over a ZPM."

Teyla giggled, "You have a very active imagination, John."

"Okay, something simpler then. Look, a rabbit," he pointed in another direction. "Hey maybe it's the Easter Bunny."

Teyla leaned up on one elbow. "I still do not understand this holiday you are celebrating tomorrow and why it involves a small fluffy creature."

John's laugh was deep and low. "I'll give you a religion lesson after T.J. goes to bed. For right now we're just relaxing. See what you can find in the clouds. It's fun!"

Teyla looked critically at the clouds but was truly trying to broach the subject she'd wanted to talk to John about for a while. Why was she so nervous? This was John whom she trusted above all others. But would his reaction be what she hoped for?

"I believe that cloud could be a dog. Perhaps we could provide Torren with that one," Teyla said.

"That cloud's pretty big," John noted. "You're right; it probably wouldn't fit in your quarters. Unless you squished it all together. But then I'm pretty sure it wouldn't look like a dog anymore."

"True," Teyla agreed, "however our new quarters are so much more spacious; we could perhaps fit a smaller cloud."

John popped up and addressed Teyla, "So Lorne did manage to get you into larger space. Where is it?"

"It is near the Northern Pier. Only a few of the units are occupied at the moment. But we are high enough up to have an unobstructed view of the ocean and there is a balcony in which I can observe the sun setting each evening."

"Sounds great!" John commented. "And T.J.'s got his own room?"

"Yes," Teyla answered. "There are two very large bedrooms and another room should we require additional space in the future."

John thought about why they might need more room and only one thing came to mind.

"Are you and Kanaan thinking along the lines of expanding the family any time soon?"

John had a hard enough time dealing with the thought of Teyla accidentally getting pregnant but the thought that she and Kanaan would … Okay, don't go there. And what would another child mean to his relationship with T.J.? John started getting a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Teyla shook her head. "No, Kanaan will not be living in our new quarters with us."

His stomach felt better but he was still very confused and it showed on his face. "He won't?" John clarified. "Why?"

Teyla adjusted her position so she was facing John. "Kanaan will no longer be coming to visit us in Atlantis."

"What!" John growled. "Does he expect you to go and stay with him in the Athosian village?" That would be even worse than having him there with Teyla. He'd never see T.J.

"No," Teyla replied and she could see John's confusion so clearly in his eyes.

"Kanaan has been quite occupied with a group of Pangorans. He will be spending much of his time on their world."

"Just leaving you and Torren to fend for yourselves," John said angrily.

"I have been taking care of myself for many cycles, John," Teyla asserted. "I am perfectly capable of continuing to do so."

"I know you are, Teyla," John conceded. "You're one of the strongest women I know, physically and emotionally. I just …"

"I know, John," Teyla said patting his hand which was resting on his knee. "But Kanaan and I discussed this in depth. We have come to a mutual decision to free ourselves of any obligation we have to the other."

"Which means exactly…?"

Teyla translated, "Jennifer would say we … broke up."

John felt a leap of hope inside but he didn't dare assume anything too quickly. "So you and Kanaan …?"

He was sounding quite obtuse but he needed to be sure.

"Are no longer together," Teyla finished. "But the truth is that Kanaan and I have not been together in quite some time."

"You haven't?" John asked, not exactly sure what he was asking.

Teyla shook her head. John took a deep breath and reached for both of Teyla's hands. "I'm really sorry, Teyla. Are you all right?"

"I am fine, John. I assure you. Kanaan and I …" she paused and regrouped her thoughts for a more detailed explanation. "When Torren was conceived, Kanaan and I were briefly under the illusion that our longtime friendship could be something much more. Then he was taken by Michael. After Torren was born and Kanaan returned to his former health, I expected those feelings to return. They did not."

"I thought perhaps my feelings toward Michael were transferring to my feelings toward Kanaan. Many days went by however and my feelings did not change. But Kanaan is the father of my son so I clung to the hope that eventually things would feel right. Kanaan and I spoke over a month ago and both admitted to holding onto the relationship for the sake of Torren. We both know now that we were not meant to be more than the friends we originated as."

John gripped Teyla's hands tighter as he moved his face closer to hers. "And you're sure you're okay?" John checked again, concern etched on his features.

Teyla gave a simple nod. Then John tilted his head and questioned, "So what does Kanaan plan on doing about Torren?"

"We both are aware that Kanaan has not been the most … solicitous of parents. However, he will make arrangements through Halling to spend time with him on occasion. I do believe at the present he is more occupied with … newer relationships."

It took John a second but what Teyla said finally sunk in. "Wait!" John was angry again. "Are you telling me the bastard cheated on you?"

"John," Teyla tried to appease him but he continued the rant. "No! I don't care that your relationship wasn't ideal. That slimy piece of … You end one relationship before you begin a new one."

John sucked in a huge breath and said, "You know it's a good thing I'm not in Pegasus right now because …" but he left unspoken his thoughts on what he would have done to Kanaan. He figured Teyla was upset enough.

He looked up at the concern on Teyla's face and felt a surge of over protectiveness rush through him. "Come here," he said softly and grabbed her around the waist and pulled her so she was sitting with her back to his chest. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and rested his face in the crook of her neck.

"I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that, Teyla. I don't like it when people I care about are hurt."

Teyla was about to reassure John again that she was fine but the warmth of his arms around her gave her a sense of comfort that she had not felt in a long time. And she realized the situation with Kanaan had caused her distress. She knew the distress was more because it kept her from having a relationship with John and not because she still had a desire for Kanaan.

She leaned back more comfortably in John's arms and responded softly, "Thank you, John. I know I can always count on you."

"You're welcome," John replied feeling for the first time that his arms around her were not violating any moral code of ethics he carried with him. Not that he planned on lowering her to the ground and making mad passionate love to her. It was tempting but making a move on a girl who just broke up with someone was so not cool.

And how much could he do with immobile legs? And he wasn't sure what else 'down there' didn't work. He'd never actually tested that out.

Plus, even if things did work, Dave would probably freak at him 'doing it' in view of any stable hands who might be around. Yeah, just sitting here with Teyla in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder was absolutely perfect for right now.

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"Hey!" Dave greeted as he walked out on the patio and stood next to John. The ball playing and horseback riding had been so exciting that Torren had conked out a good half hour earlier than usual.

The ladies were in the kitchen, Julia trying diligently to help Teyla with her cooking skills. John had put Torren in bed and rolled outside to watch the sunset. The sky was streaked with reds and violets and John could tell tomorrow would be beautiful, but hot.

John looked up at his brother and returned the greeting. "You guys got the goods for T.J.'s Easter basket right?"

Dave nodded, leaned on the patio railing and gazed up at the colors twisting across the sky. The men watched silently as the molten ball kissed the horizon and slowly started to disappear.

When the last of the sun had vanished, Dave turned his head slightly toward his brother. "Everything okay, John?"

John nodded questioningly. "Yeah."

"It's just that Teyla asked Julia if we could keep T.J. busy for a while this afternoon while you two talked. Just wanted to make sure it wasn't bad news."

John chuckled quietly and his face broke into a grin. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and shook his head. When he opened his eyes they were sparkling and the grin had grown a bit bigger.

"You want to share with the class or is it a private matter?" Dave quizzed.

John looked at his brother and tried to still the silly smirk he knew was plastered across his face. He tried several times for a serious tone but he was so thrilled by the news she'd given him, he found it quite difficult.

When he thought about how Teyla must feel though, he sobered up enough to finally speak. "Apparently Teyla and Kanaan have decided to call it quits."

Dave's eyes grew curious. "Really, when did this happen?"

"Teyla says they made it official about a month ago. But according to her, there wasn't really anything to quit and there hadn't been for quite some time. She may even have implied that their feelings were never really as serious as they thought."

"Of course not, John," Dave snorted. "She's in love with you!"

John started shaking his head saying, "I … I don't know Dave."

Dave leaned against the railing and chuckled. "I've seen the way she looks at you, John. Her feelings are certainly not indifferent. The question is; what are you planning to do about it?"

John looked horrified and said, "Uh … nothing right now. She just told me. Making a move on her now would just be … icky."

Dave laughed. "You know John, for someone as smart as you are, your vocabulary sure could use some work; icky?"

"You know what I mean," John scolded. "They just broke up!"

"A month ago," Dave reminded him.

"I just found out today," John stressed. "I need time to … you know … process. And then figure out … what the hell I need to do about it.

Dave shook his head in wonder. "How in the world did you ever ask Nancy to marry you?"

"Well, as I recall," John started snidely, "we'd just had some really great sex and I made some comment about it being nice if we could do this every day. It just seemed to snowball from there."

Dave closed his eyes and laughed. "You really are hopeless, you know that, John."

John scowled a bit and said, "Well, how'd you ask Julia to marry you?"

Dave crossed his arms still leaning against the railing. "Well, as I recall we'd just had some really great sex and …"

John's arm rose up and smacked his brother then his head dropped and he burst out laughing, Dave joining in a second later.

It took a few minutes for the laughter to subside but when it did, Dave looked seriously at John. "You know, John, not that I would ever wish this on you," and Dave pointed to his wheelchair, "but I'm really glad we have a chance to spend some time together. It's been kind of fun."

John's serious eyes looked up at his brother and he said, "Yeah, me too. And I want to thank you for all you've been doing for me, you and Julia. You've both been great but you might want to kick me out once you're actually married. Three's a crowd, you know."

"You're not going anywhere until you're completely recovered," Dave insisted. "But speaking of the wedding, I wanted to ask you something."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'll be able to make it," John said. "I don't imagine I'll be back in Atlantis quite yet."

"Well I'm glad you'll be there," Dave admitted, "but what I really wanted to ask was …will you be my Best Man?"

John's eyes narrowed and he squeaked, "Really? I figured you'd have one picked out already. I mean Julia's got some major plans going on there."

"Yes, she does." Dave rolled his eyes. "But I always had it in the back of my mind that I'd ask you. Julia loved the idea even without meeting you but I could never be sure if you'd make it or not. Or leave in the middle of it, like Dad's wake."

"Ooh, yeah, sorry about that," John grimaced. "Really couldn't be helped."

"Any way you can tell me about it," Dave hinted. "Now that I know your big secret."

"Bottom line," John responded, "We had a few replicators running around that needed to be stopped."

At Dave's raised eyebrows, John explained, "They're self-replicating machines that use nanite technology and can think and act on their own. These two were in human form and it took us a while to track them down and dispose of them. It was kind of an urgent situation. As it is, one of them killed a few people."

Dave's eyes opened wider in remembrance and he pointed to his neck. "The handprint on your neck when you stopped by a few days later."

"Yeah, he cracked a few ribs, too, when he kicked me across the warehouse."

Dave didn't know what to say to this. He'd been so angry with John at the time of the wake and his anger had eased somewhat when he saw John's bruises. Now he realized he could have been holding John's funeral, as well, if things had been a bit different. Dave let out a big sigh.

"What's that for?" Julia asked as she and Teyla stepped onto the patio with them. The last vestiges of light were abandoning the sky, leaving the occupants outside in shadow.

Dave put his arm around his fiancée and pulled her in close. "Just waiting for John to answer the question I asked him a few minutes ago."

John seemed confused for a second then said, "Oh, yeah, the answer is yes. I would be honored to be your Best Man. Thank you. As long as you don't mind that I could still be in this wheelchair. Apparently this whole walking thing could take quite a while."

Julia jumped up and down and gave John a big kiss on the cheek.

"The Best Man?" Teyla looked puzzled for a second then said, "Yes, I remember. He is the person who stands up for and assists the groom at the wedding."

"Glad I could teach somebody something," Julia said.

"What, couldn't teach her how to cook?" John asked. "I told you it was a waste of time."

"John Sheppard," Teyla warned as she moved right in front of him.

John went on the offensive by rolling forward and pulling Teyla into his lap. Her surprised squeal turned into a stunned silence and John said, "Now I'm gonna teach her about Easter. Dave you still got that big bible in the living room?"

At Dave's nod, John started moving away ordering, "Would you stop wiggling, Teyla. I'm just giving you a ride."

John managed to get the wheelchair inside, leaving Dave and Julia leaning against the patio railing. Julia leaned further into Dave's arms, seeking information.

"The talk they had this afternoon was a good one?"

Dave pulled her in for a long kiss then answered, "I think it was very good."

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xoxoxoxoxo xoxoxooxxo xoxoxoxoxox

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John awoke the next morning with T.J.'s giraffe staring him in the face. Torren was standing next to the bed, not quite big enough to climb up himself. John got up and moving right away.

He and Torren had a quick bowl of cereal, jumped in the shower and dressed before the rest of the house started to stir.

As Teyla came out of her room in search of her wandering child, she spotted John and Torren on the couch in the den. John was pointing out the Easter Basket that was left on the coffee table.

Torren's eyes were wide as he took in the myriad of toys and candy stuffed inside. "The Easter Bunny brought this for you," John told him and Torren jumped off the couch, ran past his Mom, right into John's room.

Teyla could see him pull John's stuffed rabbit toward him in a hug and say, "Tant you, Bunny!" and he planted a kiss on the animal's head before running back to the den. He jumped back on the couch and pulled the basket in his lap again.

John looked up at Teyla and said, "Good morning! Happy Easter!"

"Happy Easter!" Teyla returned. "Look at you two. You have already been up, cleaned and dressed and I have yet to even get in the shower."

John looked at his watch and said, "We're not even leaving for church for another hour. You have time."

While Teyla was in the shower, John and Torren moved to the kitchen to snack on a few of the breakfast pastries Julia had made and start taking inventory of the kid's loot. Dave and Julia soon joined them, all spiffy in their Easter best.

By the time Teyla was ready, John was teaching T.J. about jelly beans. "The black ones are yucky! I always used to give mine to Uncle Dave. He actually likes them."

Torren picked up a few black jelly beans and held them up. "You wan dese, Unta Dabe?"

Dave finished adjusting his tie and reached down for them. "I'd love them, T.J. thank you!" He put them on the counter behind him. "I'll eat them later, after church, okay."

Torren nodded and looked back at the table. "Now the Easter Bunny has a rule," John started explaining, "see these orange ones. These you have to share with someone you really like."

"Lite Mama?" Torren suggested.

"Well, sure," John looked disappointed. "But I'll bet Mommy would like either the red ones or the pink ones. Those are girl colors. But you know what? I really love the orange ones!"

"Otay," Torren said and pushed some orange ones in John's direction.

"Nice, John," observed Dave. "Running a scam on a two year old."

"Hey, I got you a couple black ones, didn't I?" John defended. "Hey, Julia, any special color you like?"

Julia only chuckled but Teyla, who was just walking into the kitchen said, "I think I would like the orange ones."

Torren looked conflicted for a second then grabbed a few of John's orange jelly beans and ran over to his Mom.

"Hey, those are …" John started but stopped when he saw Teyla in the doorway in the dress she and Julia had bought. It was pale peach with a surplice top that accentuated her curves, a snug fitting waist and then it billowed out to end just above the knee.

"Those are what, John?" Teyla asked as John sat there with his eyes wide and his mouth open.

John blinked a few times, shut his mouth and said, "Wow! You look … absolutely amazing!"

Teyla smoothed her dress down then pushed at a stray lock that had escaped from her half up, half down hair style. "Do you really think so? Julia assured me this color would go well with my skin tone."

John almost stopped breathing when he looked at Teyla's skin. The peach fabric made her skin look an even darker golden color than usual. "Nicely done, Julia," John remarked without ever taking his eyes off Teyla.

"We should probably head to church if we actually want to get a seat," Dave suggested and John pulled his eyes away from Teyla long enough to agree.

"I just need to grab my suit coat," John added. Teyla offered to get it for him and they all filed into Dave's SUV, the wheelchair occupying the back, once they'd folded the third seat down.

As they were on their way, John was trying not to stare too much at Teyla on the other side of T.J.'s booster seat. She just looked so incredibly … feminine. Not that she wasn't always feminine in her own way but even when she had on her scanty sparring outfit, she was usually kicking the crap out of someone.

Teyla had her legs crossed so one foot was gently bouncing near John's knee. She had on little strappy sandals that showed her petite ankles and peach colored toenails. He smiled when he remembered that she was almost scandalized that she had done that. He reached for her foot and pulled it closer.

"The color on the toenails … definitely worth the effort."

Teyla actually blushed and tried to pull her foot back. John held tight for a few moments while he ran his hand over her ankle then released it.

As they were heading into church, John was giving Torren a little warning. "Now in this place we have to be very quiet. There's gonna be some singing and a lot of talking but we can't be real loud, okay? I brought along one of your books so we can look at it."

John scooted into the pew first while Dave pushed his wheelchair into an empty spot in the back. Teyla and Torren came after him then Julia and Dave.

Torren had a million questions that he asked in a very loud whisper but Teyla just moved her eyes around the enormous church with a look of awe in them. Julia, sitting next to her, tried to answer a few of her questions as well until mass started a short time later.

It had been years since John had been in a church, possibly since his wedding to Nancy. Flying secret missions around the world left little time for worship. Then Antarctica gave him more free time but not a whole lot of churches to go to. And of course the last six years in Atlantis hadn't given him the opportunity either.

He felt a bit like a fraud being here but there was also something very familiar and comforting about it as well. It was definitely awkward to remain sitting when the rest of the congregation were standing or kneeling. He could have stayed in his wheelchair so others knew why he was sitting but the only spot for wheelchairs was right in the front center aisle and he had no desire to be on display there.

Especially since some of these people actually looked familiar. He might not be able to name very many of them but he'd known them at some point and he didn't need or want pity or gossip going around about him.

Teyla's eyes remained large and she listened intently to every word that was said. Torren on the other hand had no interest in looking at the ornate sculptured ceilings or the stained glass windows. And he didn't understand any of what was being said.

John kept him occupied as best he could but at one point had to give him his small blanket that Teyla had brought in her purse. He told him he'd missed him so much that he needed a big hug. He knew he was playing on a nerve but T.J. curled up on his shoulder with his arms around John's neck and stayed there until the recessional hymn was sung.

They had to wait until the church was pretty much cleared out before Dave could get John's wheelchair. But since Dave and Julia knew so many of these people, it was a bit of a social time for them.

They finally got John in his chair and were heading to the exit when the two priests who had presided over the mass, came in from greeting the parishioners. When they spotted Dave, they both greeted him and Julia and shook their hands.

But one of them John recognized and he apparently remembered John.

"Well if it isn't John Sheppard," he greeted as he moved toward John. "I don't think I've seen you in … it's gotta be ten years.

John reached up around T.J. and shook hands. "Father Cleary, how are you?"

"I'm okay for an old guy, still getting by. But sometimes I need these young priests to give me a hand every now and then." He turned toward the other man with him. "This is Father Donovan. This is David's younger brother John. John went into the military, what, almost twenty years ago."

They shook hands as well and Father Cleary looked down at John's chair. "I'm sorry about your situation. David told me you'd had a serious injury."

John just nodded and ran his hand down Torren's back.

"Is this your family?" Father Cleary indicated Teyla and Torren. John knew what he meant by family but in his mind they were his family. They were the people he could count on the most in the world and who meant more to him than anything else.

John snagged Teyla's hand and pulled her closer. "This is Teyla and this is T.J."

They exchanged greetings then Dave announced, "We do need to get to the Easter egg hunt at PSI. It wouldn't be very good if the president of the company didn't show up. Happy Easter!"

Once in the car, Teyla started talking about all the marvelous things she'd witnessed. She had especially loved the music and said the choir almost had her in tears, so beautiful were their voices. John just listened to her talk. He loved listening to her talk. She had such a way with words and her voice was so soft and sweet. Unless of course she was scolding him about something but luckily that didn't happen all that often.

The PSI building was located in a rural area surrounded by wide open spaces and country roads. Once there, Dave and Julia went right to work. John was certain Dave had many people running it but Dave, still Mr. Control Freak, had to check for himself that everything was fine.

When he told Teyla this, her lips twisted in a wry smile. "Would that be the equivalent of a Military Commander, with hundreds of soldiers and officers serving beneath him, still walking through the base each night to assure himself all is well?"

John made a face at her and said, "Well … maybe."

"Then you and your brother are not as dissimilar as you seem to think."

John just rolled his eyes at her and looked around. It had been set up the same since he was a kid. About an acre was ribboned off and hundreds of Easter eggs were planted in the field. The egg hunt was only for children up to a specific age as they didn't want the little ones getting trampled.

It would be another twenty minutes before they opened the field to the kids but already quite a few youngsters with their parents were lining up. John started explaining to Torren what he needed to do.

"Teyla, you'll have to take him in there. I can't do it with this wheelchair. Just let him actually find the eggs. It's not too hard; they're pretty much just lying in the grass."

John noticed Dave approaching with another man behind him.

"Hey, John, can I borrow T.J. for a little while? The local newspapers want a few pictures."

John looked apprehensive for a second but he did trust his brother so he lowered Torren to the ground and instructed, "Go with Uncle Dave. He's got some stuff for you."

Torren took the few steps then Dave scooped him up in his arms. John wasn't sure what Dave said but it made the kid laugh and clap his hands. The photographer who'd followed Dave quickly snapped a picture.

John kept an eye on him then realized Teyla was also following them closely with her eyes. John reached out, grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze.

"He's fine. Dave won't let anything happen to him."

"I have complete trust in your brother. But I also relish seeing Torren's face so filled with joy."

They continued to hold hands for the next ten minutes until Dave gave a very brief introduction and speech announcing the start.

The children were all provided with empty baskets and instructed to stand around the perimeter of the ribboned off area. Teyla moved to hold Torren's hand as Dave rang a bell. Strategically placed personnel cut the ribbons so they all fell at once and the children entered the field from every direction.

John watched Teyla in her pretty peach dress trailing after a cavorting Torren. A grin appeared as he watched T.J. spend more time showing his mother the eggs than in finding new ones. And Teyla, as sweet as ever, would gush enthusiastically about each one.

"John Sheppard?" a voice came from beside him and he turned slightly at the approach of a familiar looking woman.

"Hi," he said, thinking he should know who she was but not really placing her.

Understanding was written on her face as she explained, "Patty Barnes, high school."

The memory came back and John replied, "Oh, right. Sorry, it's been a while."

"Well actually it's Edgarton now. My husband is the head of the accounting department here, has been for about seven years."

John pointed his finger at her and recollected, "And you were our class vice-president. I should have known that. So, do you have an egg hunter out there or just here to show company spirit?"

"Yes, my husband's out there with my two girls. They're four and six."

John just nodded and smiled.

"So last I heard you were in the military." Her comment sounded more like a question.

"Air Force," John supplied. "I'm on a disability leave right now." He briefly waved his hands over his legs. "But I've been doing daily rehab over at Meadowbrook and hopefully I'll be back on active duty soon enough."

Patty gave him an encouraging smile. "When did this happen?"

"A little over two months ago."

"I wish you luck!"

John said thanks as they watched the children continue to gather eggs for a few moments then she spoke again.

"I was sorry to hear about your father. I had just seen him about a month before he died. I was visiting Ethan, my husband, at work and happened to run into him. I asked him if he had an address for you since we were putting together our twenty year class reunion, which you never came to."

John snorted, "I don't get back to the States very often."

"Yes, your father pretty much told me you'd probably be much too busy. It was cute. He kind of bragged about how you had already made Lt. Colonel and were involved in very top secret, hush-hush activities."

Patty smiled and gave a small chuckle. "He was so proud; you could see it in his face. But you know your Dad, doesn't want to look weak by showing emotion so he put the gruff exterior back on and said not to get our hopes up. He said the essential work you do was much more important than a class reunion."

John just listened to her, trying to evaluate if any of what she said might have been untruthful. But she seemed really sincere in what she was saying which confused John even more. His father had been proud of him, actually bragged that his son was in the military?

Maybe the old man had been getting senile before his last days. Or maybe … and John didn't even want to contemplate this one …maybe his father had actually forgiven him. He knew Dave had said Dad regretted what had happened but if his father had actually forgiven him for joining the Air Force and 'throwing away his life' as a public servant, that would be …

John wasn't even sure how he should respond to what Patty had just said. Luckily he didn't have to as Torren came bounding over to him, a basket clutched in his tiny hands.

His eyes were wide as saucers and he was yelling, "Loot a I dot!"

John scooped him up and exclaimed, "Wow! Look at all those eggs. Did you leave any for the other kids?"

Torren giggled loudly. John held up one egg and shook it saying, "Now you remember that I love orange jelly beans."

Torren shook an egg too and said, "An I luh … you!"

John grabbed Torren's head and pulled it close to kiss his forehead as he whispered, "I love you, too, Baby Bear."

Teyla finally made her way to them pronouncing, "I was nearly trampled by two very short people in extremely flouncy dresses."

John grinned and said to Torren, "Tell Mommy to quit complaining and you'll give her one of your eggs."

Torren held up an egg and smiled, "Here, Mama."

Teyla glared at John and warned, "Do not think that wheelchair will save you, John Sheppard."

John chewed on his bottom lip and held up another egg for Teyla who simply rolled her eyes at him. He then realized Patty was still standing beside him, although her eyes were on the frolicking children.

"Patty," He got her attention then took Teyla's hand. "Teyla, this is Patty Barnes, uh …Edgarton. She and I went to high school together. Her husband works for Dave. Patty, this is Teyla and T.J."

The women greeted each other and Patty looked at Torren, "He's adorable!" She then noticed her family heading out of the ribboned area so she excused herself saying, "It was nice seeing you again, John."

John shook her hand and said, "Thank you for telling me what you did. It was nice to hear. I uh … didn't have a whole lot of contact with my Dad before he died so …thanks."

"My pleasure and good luck with everything."

After she left, John looked at Teyla and squeezed the hand that was still in his. "You all right, Teyla?"

She smiled serenely and assured him, "I am fine. Torren enjoyed himself immensely."

"Good!" John responded then said, "Let's go see if we can find Dave and see how much longer until we can blow this clambake."

They realized that Dave was far from finished so Teyla parked John and Torren in the shade looking through the basket and told him she would be exploring the area while she enjoyed the sunshine.

John tried to con Torren out of a few more pieces of candy then showed him how to use some of the little toys that were also in the eggs. His eyes kept glancing in Teyla's direction. He knew she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself but he couldn't help feeling somewhat protective of her. She had yet to have to deal with a large group of Americans.

He watched as she paused to look at a large landscape of flowers. Most of the adults in that area didn't seem to have any children with them so John assumed they must be the employees who had been here to help and cut the ribbons. John saw Teyla stop and interact with a few of them.

.

.

Dave watched the kids running through the field scooping up the eggs. He was enjoying this so much more than he ever had before. He was pretty sure it was because he'd spent so much time with T.J. the last few days. He was starting to see what the attraction was.

Up until now, whenever Julia had talked about kids, he'd pictured a nanny bringing them in for a good night kiss after being properly bathed and dressed in pajamas.

Now he knew he could never just hand that job over to someone else. Maybe he wouldn't have the magic touch that John did but if he was even half the Dad John was, he'd be pretty damned good.

He looked around to see who else he needed to charm or touch base with. He saw Ted Downey approaching and held out his hand in greeting. Ted shook his hand and said, "Another great day! Congratulations, David!"

"Thank you, Ted. Where are Barbara and the grandkids? Did they find enough eggs?"

"Oh, sure, more than enough," Ted reported. "But I came over here by myself to discuss something."

"Everything okay, Ted?" Dave questioned.

"With me, I'm fine," Ted assured him. "But that brother of yours has me more than a little concerned."

"John?" Dave was perplexed. "Is there a problem?"

"When we saw you the other day and I met him for the first time I have to admit to thinking he was a bit rude not to stand when we approached the table…"

"Uh, Ted…" Dave tried to interrupt but Ted just plowed on.

"No, no, let me finish. I gave him a little warning at that time to watch his manners but today in church was inexcusable."

Dave tried again to say something but Ted was like a steamroller.

"You know, even if he hasn't stayed faithful to the church, it's only common courtesy to follow the traditions and rules of the place. We happened to be sitting a few rows behind you and the man didn't even rise when the priests came in or left. I know he's your brother, David, but certain protocols must be followed in polite society and he needs to understand that."

Dave had tried a few times to make Ted understand the circumstances but now he was just kind of ticked that the man couldn't keep his nose to himself and so prejudged someone.

"John's right over there if you want to say something to him." Dave pointed to a small cluster of trees.

Ted turned in that direction saying, "Well something needs to be done and if you're not going to fix the problem …"

Ted scanned the area, "Where is he again?"

Dave pointed, "Right under that big maple tree."

Ted moved his gaze, spotted John and his jaw fell. "He's in a wheelchair! He wasn't in a wheelchair in the restaurant or in church."

"I know," Dave answered. "He says he doesn't want to look like a cripple so we move his wheelchair aside once he's in a regular seat."

Ted was left speechless for an instant. He opened his mouth several times to talk before any words came out. "So, he's uh …"

"Paralyzed," Dave supplied. "This is why he didn't stand in either place. He can't!"

"When did this happen?"

"A few months ago. It's why he's here. He's been going through rehab at Meadowgreen."

Dave looked over at John, who was talking animatedly to Torren, shaking some of the eggs from his basket. John looked in Dave's direction and waved then realized who Dave was standing with and tilted his chin in greeting.

"Why didn't he say something in the restaurant?" Ted asked.

Dave was wondering that himself. But he knew it was probably because John didn't give a crap what some big wig business man thought of him. He didn't think Ted would like to hear that, though.

Ted cleared his throat, "Well, I guess I should go over and apologize to the poor boy. I had no idea … really. I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions."

"Don't worry about it, Ted." Dave told him. "John won't give it a whole lot of thought. He's got bigger issues to deal with right now."

"I understand," Ted nodded. "If there's ever anything I can do to help, just let me know."

Dave's eyes twinkled, "Well you know we hold a big fundraiser for Meadowgreen every fall. Maybe I can actually get you and Barbara to go this year."

Ted shook his head in resignation. "Count us in."

.

.

Teyla looked around at the beautifully decorated grounds wondering who maintained all of this.

"Haven't seen you around. You must be new to the company."

Teyla turned at the voice behind her and took note of the well dressed young man standing there.

"Hello," Teyla greeted, unsure of exactly what he had said. "Yes, I am new here. And I am enjoying this festivity very much."

"I'm Ian," he introduced himself and took her hand in both of his. "I'll bet I could help you get even more enjoyment after this festivity."

Teyla looked confused so he continued, "Being new here you want to make a good impression on the boss. Normally your looks alone would do that but Mr. Sheppard's got a fiancée so your looks won't do anything for you."

"Except," he put his arm lightly around her shoulder and steered her away from the crowd of people, "I happen to work in the Administrative offices and can put in a good word with the big boss … if the circumstances were right."

Teyla was uncertain what this man was talking about and wasn't sure she wanted to know, but she was also very curious as to Earth, especially American, rituals so she smiled and asked, "Circumstances?"

"Yeah, showing me your appreciation, a lot."

Teyla was beginning to understand what he was insinuating. She did not like this man who worked for Dave but thought it might be interesting to lead him on and see just how immoral he was.

"And how would you like me to show my appreciation?"

"Well, we'd start someplace private and you could remove that pretty dress and show me the rest of that gorgeous copper skin."

Teyla's eyebrow rose. "And seeing all my skin would be enough for a good word with the boss?"

Ian laughed. "Come on, you're not naïve enough to think a simple peek will do." He leaned in and whispered something in Teyla's ear that made her gasp and take a step away from him.

"I think I have heard enough," Teyla whispered harshly. Apparently this man had no morals.

"I can guarantee you'll like it," he promised as he took a step closer again.

Just then Torren came running over yelling, "Mama!"

Teyla bent down and scooped him up. "Hello, sweetheart, where is…?" but she spotted John before she could finish the question.

"A kid, huh?" Ian grunted and looked at the man in the wheelchair. "And that's your guy? You have got to be kidding me. Listen, my offer still stands. Honestly, can he even satisfy you? Probably not like I can. Think about it."

And then John was right in front of them.

"Hey, Teyla," he greeted. "Everything all right?"

Teyla gave a big smile. "Yes, everything is fine. This is Ian. He works directly with Mr. Sheppard. He says he can assist me in getting noticed in my job."

John's eyes narrowed but he said, "That's great." John was curious as to what Teyla was doing and decided to play along. "We need you to climb that corporate ladder. What do you have to do?"

Teyla got a mischievous glint in her eye like a cat playing with a mouse. "Simply remove my clothing and perform sexual acts with him."

John's temperature began to rise but he could see in Teyla's eyes that she wanted to make this man pay in a completely different way. He noticed Dave heading in their direction so he kept going.

"Is that all? You should consider it." Then he looked at Ian. "She's very good in that department. You wouldn't be disappointed, take my word for it."

Ian's eyes looked confused but then got a gleam in them and asked, "You'd really be okay with that?"

"Sure," John responded. 'Maybe if she's doing you, she'll leave me alone. She's insatiable!"

Teyla looked about ready to burst at John's words thinking he was playing along too well.

Dave finally reached them.

"Mr. Sheppard, how are you today? Another successful event by Sheppard Industries." Ian sucked up as best he could.

Dave had been about to address Teyla and John but got sidetracked. "Ian, it's good to see you. Thank you for all your help today. I see you've met…"

"We were just about to be introduced," John butted in and rolled over to shake hands with the unpleasant man.

"I'm John," he said with a grin. "John Sheppard." He nodded his head in Dave's direction. "The boss's brother."

Torren took that moment to jump down and run over to Dave. "Unta Dabe, I dot some edds!"

Dave picked him up and acknowledged, "I saw that you did. And right now we're going to Auntie Julia's house and I think she said the Easter Bunny came there, too."

Torren squealed and clapped his hands as Dave put him back down again. "You ready to go, John, Teyla?"

John had been watching Ian, enjoying the man squirm as he waited to see what John and Teyla would do. John decided he wanted this man to squirm a lot, like until Dave saw him next at work.

So he merely picked up T.J. and took Teyla's hand as Teyla replied," I am quite ready to go." This time the smile she gave Ian was almost smug. His smile was completely missing.

.

.

xoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxo

.

Dinner at the Gianni's was very pleasant. They'd enjoyed a buffet brunch and then the men had deserted the table to talk sports instead of wedding plans. Teyla had been very interested in hearing all the details; dresses, catering, flowers, limousines, honeymoon. She didn't understand quite a bit of it and couldn't add anything to the conversation but it was good insight into the lives of this human population.

A few hours later, Teyla went in search of Torren who had been following Julia's niece Hannah around like a puppy dog. But instead of being with the almost three year old, Teyla found him in John's lap, out cold.

Torren seemed very comfortable but John's face was somewhat rigid, so Teyla offered, "Would you like me to take him from you?"

John shook his head. "He's fine where he is," but he couldn't stop the wince from showing. "It's just I haven't had any PT in three days and my legs are getting … a little uncomfortable. Don't worry about it, though."

Teyla did worry but so apparently did Dave. He moved over to where they were and asked, "You okay, John? What's the matter?"

"I'm fine," John insisted through gritted teeth but Teyla tattled.

"His legs are uncomfortable due to his lack of therapy while Torren and I have been here."

"Teyla!" John warned then was silenced as he felt a cramp start in his calf. He closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath.

"Yeah, you're fine," Dave grumbled sarcastically and walked off to find Julia.

Teyla knelt in front of John and moved his clenched hand away from his calf. "Is this where the pain is?"

At John's brief nod, Teyla started massaging the area. John's wince and indrawn breath made Teyla stop for a second but he ordered, "Don't stop, please! That helps."

Dave appeared with Julia a few minutes later and they said their goodbyes. Torren miraculously stayed sleeping even when they put him in the car seat. John tried to apologize to Julia for taking her away from her family but Julia just brushed him off.

"Are you kidding me? Veronica was driving me out of my mind with her insane ramblings. If I had stayed for another minute, I think I would have strangled her."

"Veronica?" John clarified, "That's your brother Joey's wife, right?"

"Yeah, Tessa's my sister and her husband is Paul. They're the ones who have Hannah."

John laughed. "I think T.J.'s got a big crush on that little Hannah. He was telling me all about her when I got him to fall asleep."

"Which reminds me, Teyla," Julia said, "David and I would love for you to come to the wedding. You and Torren. That way Hannah can have someone to play with and someone will be there to keep John in line."

Teyla smiled and responded, "I would like that very much."

John reached around a sleeping Torren to touch Teyla's leg. "I would like that very much also," and he tickled her knee.

Teyla continued, "I will make every effort to attend although I am not sure anyone can truly keep John in line."

"John?" Dave checked. "How are you feeling? Do we need to stop and pick up anything at the pharmacy?"

"No," John replied. "I've got enough meds at the house. I'll be okay if I can get my legs moving. Three days with no PT has made them pretty stiff."

"How about a swim in the pool?" Julia suggested. "You started that pool therapy last week, didn't you?"

"Actually, that would probably be really good," John said thoughtfully. "Kristy showed me a few water exercises that were good for the legs."

"Awesome!" Julia responded. "Then Teyla can try out that swimsuit we bought her the other day."

The image of Teyla in a swimsuit popped into John's head. That would probably not be very good.

Torren slept the whole way home but woke up as soon as they attempted to get him out of the car seat. But once they told him they were all going swimming, he shook off the just-woke-up-cranky mood.

Once changed, Dave helped John get the wheelchair down to the pool and John in the water. The water was a bit chilly at first as it was still early in the season. John didn't mind. The cold on his skin made him forget about the pain in his legs.

It was another ten minutes before the ladies and Torren strolled down. John was holding onto the edge doing some exercises he'd been taught just last week. Dave was still out of the pool, near John. Dave knew he shouldn't worry; John had always been a good swimmer. But without the use of his legs he wasn't sure that would still be the case.

Julia was first to shed her cover up, revealing her slim body in a two piece swimsuit. John, remembering all her comments about his bare chest, let out a wolf whistle.

"Hey," complained Dave and put his foot on John's head and playfully pushed him under the water. John stayed under a few moments longer than he knew Dave would be comfortable with. When he came back up, sure enough, Dave was kneeling by the pool checking on him.

So John shook his head and soaked Dave with the water from his hair.

"Oh, you are so going to pay," Dave warned. "At some point today you are going to pay."

John saw Torren cautiously approach the wide steps into the pool so he swam over and sat on them. "Come here, Buddy," he encouraged. "You ready to go in?"

T.J. nodded and John lifted him and started lowering him into the water. As soon as the boy's feet touched the cool liquid, he squealed and pulled his legs right up to his chest.

John just laughed and said, "I know it's a little chilly at first but it's great once you get used to it."

He sat the boy in his lap and let him stick his hands in the water and just play with it. John saw that Dave and Julia had moved to dangle their feet in the deep end but Teyla was still near the stairs in her cover up.

"Come on in, Teyla," John invited. "The water feels great after the hot sun."

"I do not know how to swim," she protested. "We have had no need of that skill amongst my people."

"You don't have to swim," John told her. "I can't do much swimming with my bum legs. It's just fun to splash around in the water, right, T.J.?

And T.J. was indeed enjoying himself splashing the water all around him.

"Very well, I will join you," and she removed her cover up.

John almost wished he hadn't convinced her. The bathing suit was by no means skimpy with boy cut shorts and a halter top but it was definitely more skin than he'd ever seen on Teyla. He needed to turn away and move down another step to submerge his overheated body in the cool water.

Teyla came and joined them on the step, her eyes popping open at the first contact with the chilly water. It wasn't the only effect the chilly water was having on Teyla so John yelled over to Dave, "Hey, how come you didn't put the heater on in the pool?"

Dave apologized and said he didn't realize they'd be coming in today. He then brought over a flotation device which John put on Torren. He wanted to take the kid out further in the water but knew he couldn't hold him up.

Torren was a bit nervous when they first moved away from the stairs but soon realized how cool it was that he could kick his feet around in the water and actually move. As they moved into deeper water John was able to straighten his legs and put some weight on them. The buoyancy of the water and holding onto T.J.'s floaty allowed him to actually 'walk' in the water. Teyla noticed and commented about it.

"The water helps to support my body weight so the leg muscles have a chance to move without all the strain. That's why they said the pool therapy is perfect for me."

Teyla floated toward him and said, "Then you will be completely healed in no time."

"I hope so," John replied solemnly.

Dave and Julia only took a quick dip but John and Teyla were enjoying Torren's reaction so much they stayed in for quite some time. John had grabbed a plastic ball and the three of them took turns throwing it around the pool and trying to catch it. Occasionally John would swim under the water and come up so his head hit the ball and popped it into the air.

Torren wanted John to do this all the time but John tried to stay away from the deep end if he could. His legs still barely moved and felt like lead weights dangling from his body when there was nothing to hold them up. Unfortunately due to her lack of swimming ability, Teyla refused to get the ball when it was in the deep end so John ended up there too often.

As the afternoon wore on, John finally convinced T.J. to take a short break. They moved to sit on the steps, T.J. on one a few steps down so his belly was submerged. Teyla was a step below him to make sure he didn't slide in accidentally and John pulled himself all the way to the top step.

He collapsed on the decking, his upper body finally giving in to the exhaustion of the afternoon's exercise. His legs still lay half in the water right behind Teyla, and Torren made sure they stayed cool by splashing water on them every so often.

"Are you all right, John?" Teyla asked concerned when she saw John's chest rising and falling with heavy breathing.

He pushed himself up on his elbows and assured her, "I'm fine. Great actually. I needed some movement and that certainly did the job."

Just then he noticed Julia putting down the video camera on the table and he groaned, "How long have you been doing that?"

Julia shrugged, "Most of the afternoon. I may have to ask Teyla for a copy," she teased, "just so I can have some footage of you shirtless, for after you're gone, you know."

Dave got up in mock anger and said, "You think you're so funny, don't you?" He scooped her up in his arms, walked over to the pool and tossed her in.

John roared, Teyla looked horrified and T.J. just splashed a lot more in the water. Julia resurfaced and swam to the edge. She pulled herself out and flounced past Dave taunting, "Just for that, you're sleeping alone tonight!"

Dave rolled his eyes and claimed, "You weren't planning on staying tonight, so that's not really a threat."

John, enjoying the interplay, decided to egg them on. "Are you gonna put up with that, Dave? I'd throw her in again just to cool down that attitude."

Dave walked slowly toward Julia but John got distracted when Teyla scolded, "John Sheppard, you should not be encouraging such things."

John got a glint in his eye as he leaned up on both elbows again. "Be careful, Teyla, or I might need to cool down your attitude."

Teyla looked over her shoulder and raised an eyebrow, "You would have to catch me first."

John sprang forward and Teyla attempted to get up and out of the pool but he was too quick. He grabbed her around the waist and pushed himself into the water, bringing her with him.

She was sputtering when they came up and with a twinkle in her eye warned, "You should not have done that."

She pushed down on John's shoulders so he completely submerged then walked back to sit on the steps with Torren. When she looked back, John had not yet resurfaced so she stood up and walked slowly back to where he was.

Her heart nearly jumped out of her chest when his head broke the surface but he was still face down in the water.

"John!" she cried and pulled at his shoulders so his face was no longer under the water. She was about to check for a pulse when a stream of water cam straight out of his mouth like the blowhole on a whale. His eyes opened and he shook the water off his face.

"I forgot to tell you, Teyla," Dave called over, "John can hold his breath for a very long period of time."

Teyla swatted at John's head and said, "Apparently."

She returned to the steps near Torren and said, "I should have remembered. There were at least two instances where John managed to stay alive despite severe decompression in his location."

John swam over and pulled himself onto the step right behind Teyla. "You're not mad are you?" John questioned uncertain.

Teyla didn't answer, just leaned forward to splash with Torren.

"Come on, Teyla," John pleaded as he moved his face closer to her shoulder. "You know that one time you were just talking about. I could have gotten killed. Don't I get any points for that?"

Teyla straightened up a bit bringing John's face almost into the crook of her neck. "You should not have taken such a foolish risk."

"You know why I did," John stated.

"I'd like to know why you did," Dave said standing poolside with his arms crossed.

"It wasn't for Jamus or his people, that's for sure," John declared.

Teyla looked up at Dave and admitted, "It was to save my life."

Dave just shook his head and murmured, "Why am I not surprised?"

John stuck his mouth right up to Teyla's ear and whispered, "So will those points keep you from being mad now?"

Teyla sighed then turned her face so she was nose to nose with John. "I believe you have earned enough points. Just remember I am deducting them as we go along. You may not have many left."

"Really," John considered as he put his arms around Teyla to splash some water at Torren. "Then I guess I better do something to earn some more."

"I think I'll earn my points today by going into the house and scrounging us up a light supper," Julia said. She grabbed her cover up and the video camera and left the pool area.

"John," Dave addressed his brother, "You might want to spend some time in front of the jets in the hot tub. Just to keep those muscles from spazzing out later." And he moved to turn them on.

"Good idea," John replied. "I think I'll jump in now. It could take a while to loosen these muscles up enough to last until Tuesday. "

"You're not going in tomorrow?" Dave asked concerned. "That'll be four days without any therapy."

"I know," John acknowledged, "But Teyla and Torren leave tomorrow afternoon. I'm not spending most of their last day here in therapy, not seeing them. God knows how long it'll be before I can see them again."

Dave just nodded in understanding. He then looked at Torren. "This guy's lips are starting to turn blue. Maybe it's time to get out, Pal, huh?"

Dave grabbed a big, fluffy towel and wrapped it around the boy as he plucked him out of the water. "We could go in and I could show you how that little train works."

Torren nodded vigorously so Teyla stepped out as well. Dave handed her a towel then paused for a second saying, "Oh!"

Teyla looked quizzically at him and Dave explained, "Can't leave anyone in the hot tub by themselves, it's not safe."

He looked back down at Torren in his arms regretfully. "Maybe we'll have to do the train later."

Torren's face fell as he pouted, "Twain."

Dave looked at Teyla hopefully and suggested, "Unless you'd stay out here with John. You've got a long journey ahead of you tomorrow and the Jacuzzi is very relaxing."

Teyla looked at the pleading eyes of her son then at John who was already relaxed in the bubbling water. "Very well. Is there anything I need to be aware of?"

Dave adjusted Torren in his arms and answered, "Not really. I just wouldn't let him fall asleep in there. It can be very soothing. Thanks, Teyla."

Teyla nodded her head and moved toward the hot tub as Dave brought Torren up to the house. John opened his eyes as Teyla lowered herself to sit opposite him.

"Hey," he gave a crooked grin. "Dave lose the coin toss?"

"He offered to show Torren some trains and Torren seemed quite anxious to see them."

"Ah!" John said in understanding. "So you lost and had to babysit me."

Teyla settled back and felt the jets pulsate against her skin. She released a huge sigh and claimed, "This is lovely. I do not mind losing if this is the result."

John agreed with a mumbled, "Mmm hmmm."

They sat companionably for a while, Teyla enjoying the complete peace along with the soothing water flow. She watched John's face become more relaxed as the time went by and she hoped he could get some relief. He had tried to hide it, as usual, but she knew he had been in substantial pain earlier in the day.

Her own body rid itself of tense muscles and she found her eyes starting to drift closed. She blinked several times and sat up higher in the water. John's eyes had been closed for a while and she remembered what Dave had said about not letting him fall asleep.

She lifted her foot and poked John's leg. "John, you are not asleep, are you?"

John's hand closed around Teyla's foot as he rasped out, "Not with your foot where it is."

Teyla's eyes flew open trying to see through the bubbles but John chuckled, "It's fine, Teyla. But you're getting a little brazen now that you've got those painted toenails."

Teyla just made a face.

He continued to hold her foot where it was. It had startled him when he'd first felt it on the inside of his thigh but he knew Teyla and figured she didn't realize exactly where it had gone. He started massaging her foot, hoping she'd relax again.

She groaned slightly and said, "That feels wonderful. The shoes Julia recommended to go with my dress today were very beautiful, however I am not quite used to heals that high."

John finished her foot, lowered it to rest on his leg and said, "Give me your other foot."

"You do not need to do this, John," Teyla objected.

"Come on, I've gotta keep you balanced."

Teyla obeyed and lifted her other foot, carefully this time until it was captured by John. Another soft moan escaped her lips as his hands moved over it.

As he continued the ministrations to her foot, John admitted, "I'm glad you came, Teyla. I … uh, really needed someone right about now."

Then realizing what he'd said corrected, "Not that Dave and Julia haven't been great, they have been. But Dave and I still have a lot of issues to work out and I only met Julia a few months ago. Having you and Torren here has been …"

John couldn't really finish because he didn't think there were any words strong enough to describe how he felt.

Teyla pulled her feet down and took John's hands in hers. "I know, John," Teyla soothed. "We were happy to see you, too."

"I don't know if they told you or not but I had a bit of a…" he rolled his eyes, "breakdown a few weeks ago," John confessed then gave a self-deprecating chuckle. "It wasn't very pretty."

Teyla cocked her head and grinned. "There was some mention of you throwing and breaking items from your room."

John gave a wry smile. "Any mention of the yelling and swearing, too?"

"Colonel Carter did not give us exact details. She simply said you were having a difficult time and were in need of a friend."

John squeezed her hands and remarked, "That was true. What did the others think of my little … incident?"

"They are not aware of what happened," Teyla informed him. "Mr. Woolsey received the message from Colonel Carter and told me. I do not believe he planned to share the information with anyone else. I also kept the details of the reason for my visit quiet."

John narrowed his eyes. "So nobody knows I completely lost it?"

"No," Teyla confirmed. "However, I believe Chuck was taking bets on when you would 'lose it'. Ronon did not think you would make it two weeks."

"Thanks Chewie!" John snorted and grimaced.

"Because he knows you like to keep busy and active." Teyla defended. "Major Lorne was convinced you would be fine the whole time. He says he has never met anyone who had as much control over their emotions as you do."

A harsh breath escaped John's mouth as he scoffed, "Yeah, well he never met my Dad."

"Major Lorne is correct though," Teyla stated as she tilted her head to look more closely at John. "It is often quite difficult to know exactly what you are thinking or how you are feeling. You keep your emotions deeply hidden."

John just shrugged, "You're not all that different, you know. You don't exactly go around with your feelings on parade, either."

"That is true. We are quite a pair, are we not?"

John's eyes grew intense as he looked at Teyla then looked down at their clasped hands resting slightly under the water. Teyla almost missed his whispered, "I hope so."

His eyes then rose back up to hers and this time Teyla was pretty sure she could see the emotions written clearly on John's face. Need, want, longing. Teyla didn't need to sense how he was feeling. It was all very plain to see in his eyes.

She wondered if her eyes were mirroring his. She reached up one hand and touched the side of his face in a gentle caress. The need in John's eyes turned to hope as he covered Teyla's hand with his own and turned his head so his lips settled in her palm.

John's eyes drifted shut at the same time as Teyla's and their indrawn breaths also were in time with the other. When John's tongue darted out to stroke her palm, Teyla's insides quivered and she felt the longing curl deeper inside her.

She was moving her body closer to John's when she heard a shout from the house.

"There's some food up here if you two are hungry!"

They both broke apart and sat back in their original positions, breathing considerably harder than they had before.

John was the first to recover. "Guess we should probably go in, huh?"

Teyla nodded slightly and John slid into the pool to cool off one last time before they went in the house.

.

.

Julia had just made sandwiches and Dave, surprisingly, had already put T.J. in pajamas. He had also pulled John's old guitar from the attic when he'd taken down the trains for Torren to play with.

After they ate, John spent some time tuning the strings on the guitar while Dave and T.J. continued exploring the train set. John had to admit Dave was getting pretty good at this 'Daddy' thing himself. And the funny part was that he seemed to be enjoying it.

But John put aside the guitar, which he'd tuned and plucked out a few songs on, when it was time for Torren to sleep. This was their last night together for who knew how long. Teyla said they'd come back for the wedding but that was almost four months away.

As John held the tired toddler, who was struggling to keep his eyes open, he could feel the tug on his heart. Could he last that long with no contact? He wasn't sure he could.

Once Torren had been asleep for a while, Dave offered to carry him to his bed. John chuckled, "You'd better watch out, Julia. I think he's beginning to like this."

Julia grinned, "Good, because I'm not getting any younger."

Dave just smiled and put the boy in his room. When he came out, Julia was saying goodbye to John and Teyla.

"I have an early meeting tomorrow, but I promise to be back before you head to the airport."

John looked at Dave and asked, "Are you going in at all tomorrow?"

"I wasn't really planning on it, why?"

"I just wanted you to say hello to my good buddy, Ian, if you were."

"Ooh, that creep," Julia said disgusted.

"Julia doesn't really like Ian. But he's a good, hard worker," Dave defended.

"I would have to side with Julia on this matter," Teyla spoke up.

Dave looked suspicious. "What did he do?"

Teyla's eyes moved to John's but she remained quiet. John didn't feel that need.

"He asked Teyla to have sex with him," John said bluntly. "He said he could help her climb the corporate ladder."

Dave's eyes grew fierce and he questioned, "He actually said that to you?"

"What he actually said was more detailed and quite vulgar. I do not believe I could repeat it out loud," Teyla spat. "However, he did promise that I would enjoy it."

"Maybe I should go in tomorrow," growled Dave.

"No!" John interceded. "You need to play with him a little. That's why I didn't say anything this morning. I wanted to see him sweat. The look on his face when I said I was your brother was priceless!" John nodded, "Make him sweat!"

Julia boasted how she was right about Ian then gave John and Teyla hugs and kisses. Dave walked her out and John moved on the sectional so he had the prime spot right in the middle again.

"Just because you are unable to walk at the moment does not always give you the right to claim the best location on this piece of furniture," Teyla complained.

John grabbed a few throw pillows and stuck them against the sofa back on his right side as he said, "But I have a better spot for you."

He patted the pillows and Teyla moved toward him realizing it would put her practically in his lap. She leaned back against the pillows and wiggled her bottom right up against John's hip. John groaned as his right arm rested on the pillows she was leaning against and his left fell across her middle with his hand by her hip.

Teyla's smile revealed to him that she wasn't dissatisfied with the location. He leaned his head down and conspired, "We may have to paint those toenails more often."

Teyla blushed and chastised, "John!"

John just laughed and then got quiet and when he spoke again it was with a more serious tone. "Any way I can convince you to stay longer, like another week … or month?"

Maybe it was the colored toenails but Teyla felt a bit playful. She wasn't sure why but it could have something to do with the fact that John had been much more playful since she had gotten here as well. John had always been fun to be around and had a sarcastic humor she enjoyed but these last few days there had been a more sensual component to his teasing.

She looked up into his eyes and responded, "I am certain there are many ways to could try and convince me…"

Man, she is so adorable when she's like this, John thought and his right hand moved to play in her hair. He knew he could easily lean down and kiss her right now, knew there was very little chance she'd resist. But John started thinking about her leaving tomorrow, and he knew she had to, knew enough about her importance to Atlantis to know she couldn't stay away too long.

Then he thought about kissing her and realized that once he started, he'd never want to stop. And then she'd leave him with only the memory of the kisses. He'd spend every hour daydreaming and reliving the memory instead of working to get better.

No, it was much better to wait. He'd work harder to recover if he had something to look forward to, a goal. But could he wait almost four months? Hell, he'd waited six years, four months would be nothing.

He looked down at her expectant face and full pink lips and almost rethought his decision but knew he couldn't put himself through that.

"I could try …but…?" John repeated her words back to her. "I hear a but in there."

"But I still must return to Atlantis tomorrow," Teyla agonized. "The Planetary Coalition is meeting later this week and many important decisions will be made during this time. It is imperative that I be there."

John wanted to ask, 'What if I said it was imperative that you stay here with me?' But he didn't. He would never ask her to make a decision like that.

John got a twinkle in his eye and decided to lighten the mood a bit. "T.J. doesn't have to be there. How about you leave him with me?"

"He would love that!" Teyla chuckled. "And I would not have to deal with trying to get him to sleep each night."

"Yeah, but then he'd just cry for you and I couldn't get him to sleep. So, you'll just have to stay, too," John finished matter-of-factly.

"If it were possible…"

"What if I offered you … jelly beans?" John bribed and his eyebrows rose suggestively.

"Torren will share his jelly beans with me."

"Yeah," John tried again. "But I could get more. They'll all be 50% off tomorrow."

"Very tempting, John, but I do not think Mr. Woolsey would understand if I did not return due to jelly beans."

"You're probably right," John conceded. "Hey, so who picked six weeks in the 'John Sheppard will lose it' pool?

It took Teyla a second to follow John's train of thought. "I did manage to peek at the list Chuck has and I believe it was Dusty."

"Sergeant Mehra?" John clarified. "What did McKay pick? Do you know?"

"Rodney did not participate in this pool," Teyla informed him. "He told me privately that the thought of you losing control without your team there to support you was too horrific to think about. Although, I do not think he intended me to tell you this."

John just nodded his understanding, appreciating Rodney's concern for him.

"So tell me what big decisions need to be made at the Coalition meeting this week?"

Teyla began talking about what had been going on in and around Atlantis since John had been gone. The conversation went on for some time then segued into discussions about the personnel on Atlantis.

At some point Dave came out of the office across the hall, where he'd been catching up on paperwork, and said good night. John and Teyla acknowledged him then resumed their conversation. Neither one of them wanted this night to end as they knew tomorrow they would be saying good bye.

When it was growing late and the conversation was slowing down, John pulled Teyla a bit closer and started, "Teyla …I'm uh ….not very good at saying things, especially good byes. And tomorrow Dave and Julia will be around and I know it's gonna be hell saying good bye to T.J. so I thought … maybe …."

"We say good bye now?" Teyla suggested.

"I said I wasn't very good at good bye. Weren't you listening?" John grinned then got serious.

"I wanted you to know how I felt but since I pretty much suck at that, too, I thought maybe you could … you know …"

At Teyla's confused look, John explained, "Like what you do to know where T.J. is."

Teyla's eyes widened in understanding. "Are you certain, John?"

He nodded and Teyla closed her eyes. She could feel his hands at her hip and at her shoulder. When she opened her mind to him, it almost overwhelmed her.

John was in pain, emotional pain. He was torn between wanting her to stay and knowing she had to go. There was much longing and desire for her but it was mixed with a sadness and confusion as to what he should do. There was immense thankfulness that she had come and brought Torren.

But the most overpowering feeling of all covered her with a sweet warmth she would forever cherish. She opened her eyes to see John's face tilted to look at hers.

"My emotions mirror yours," she told him.

"Then you must be a mess, 'cause that's how I feel right now."

Teyla moved slightly and leaned her head on John's chest. She moved her hand to rest there also and could feel and hear John's heart pick up in rhythm.

"Your heart is beating faster."

"Because of you," John whispered.

Teyla relaxed against him and she could feel his arms tighten around her. His emotions changed to that of contentment and she drifted off to sleep as she felt John's lips touch her hair.

.

.

xoxoxoxox xoxoxoxo xooxoxoxoxox

.

Dave was up and dressed early the next morning, wanting to send a few e-mails out to his department heads with instructions for the day. He peeked into the den and was surprised to see John and Teyla in the exact same place he'd left them last night, only now they were sound asleep.

But he wasn't too surprised as today was their last day together and they were probably trying to squeeze in as much time with each other as possible. Dave wished he could do something about this situation. John and Teyla obviously both cared deeply for each other and now that this Kanaan guy was out of the picture, things should be fine, right?

But John still couldn't walk which meant he couldn't go back to work and Teyla was leaving and taking T.J. and going to another galaxy. Dave hated this feeling of helplessness. He was used to stepping in, dealing with a problem and relishing the results.

But there was nothing he could do about this. No amount of money or wheeling and dealing could get John walking right now or convince Teyla to stay here. He'd heard part of their conversation last night and knew John had already asked.

He was about to go to his office when he saw a little head peek out of the right bedroom.

"Come on out," Dave whispered and T.J. moved toward him, a pout on his face.

"Where Mama?"

Dave picked the little boy up and turned around. "Your Mommy and Daddy are still asleep, see." He knew Torren didn't call John 'Daddy' but Dave thought maybe it was time the kid did. If John played the part, he should have the title.

"Why don't we let them finish sleeping and you and I can go write some e-mails."

Torren nodded and after using the bathroom they got busy in the office with e-mails, Dave letting Torren type a few letters every now and then.

.

.

John felt a weight on his chest as he rose from the depths of slumber. His eyes were still closed but he could feel his arms around a soft body and remembered holding Teyla last night as she slept. He hadn't thought he'd be able to sleep with her curled against his chest, but he'd been wrong. He had fallen asleep and for quite a while, too.

He looked at his watch and realized it was almost the time he typically woke up, only he wasn't going in to rehab today. He had texted Lisa last night to let her know. He figured she'd understand.

Right now he was trying to figure out what to do with Teyla. He knew what he'd like to do but he'd already had that argument with himself. Instead, he pressed his lips to her hair, breathing in the scent of her shampoo. He moved a few strands of the hair out of her face then ran his hand down her arm.

Her legs were pulled up toward her as she lay on her side and he noticed the long loose skirt she'd put on last night had ridden up a bit exposing one of her incredibly shapely legs. He stared for a few minutes then knew that wasn't going to help him any so he moved her skirt until it covered her again, his hand caressing the skin as it moved the fabric down. He wasn't sure how long he stayed holding her like that, absorbing every possible sensation he could, knowing it would be a long time before it would happen again.

Finally Torren toddled into the room and John held his finger against his lips indicating quiet, then crooked his finger to get him closer.

"Sleeping Beauty is asleep and someone needs to wake her up," John whispered to the boy. John pointed to T.J. indicating he should do it.

"You need a tiss her," Torren informed him like he should have already known that.

"I think you should do it," John continued to whisper. "It should be someone she loves a lot. She loves you a whole bunch."

Torren nodded his head then got a funny, thoughtful look on his face. "Mama luh you, too!" He held his arms out to his sides as far as they could go and claimed, "Mama luh you dis bid!"

"That big, huh? Wow! Okay, why don't we both do it together?"

John indicated Torren should climb up. He could tell Teyla had already woken up during their short conversation but was keeping her eyes closed to play along.

John looked at Torren and said, "Ready?" and they both leaned down to kiss her, Torren on the cheek and John on the forehead.

She started to stir and raised her arms above her head to stretch. Her right arm then wrapped around Torren with her left lifting to run briefly through John's hair then settle on the back of his neck.

"Hmmm, what a lovely way to wake up. And with two such handsome men around me." Her eyes glittered like diamonds as she glanced from her son to John.

Torren, not one for sitting around, jumped off the couch and announced, "Tum on, Unta Dabe mate pantates!" and he tore off in the direction of the kitchen.

Teyla reluctantly removed herself from John's arms and returned with his wheelchair. Teyla helped him practice standing for a short while and John took the opportunity to tease, "You know that we've slept together now …"

Teyla rolled her eyes and grinned, "You are impossible," as she helped lower him into his wheelchair. As she moved toward the kitchen she threw back over her shoulder, "I may not save you any pancakes."

John just laughed and rolled along behind her.

.

.

xoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxo oxoxoxoxox

.

The morning mood was somber with only Torren chattering excessively to Josie, who'd showed up mid morning, about all the good things the bunny had brought him. Dave had disappeared into the office to make some phone calls; Teyla was in her room packing so John spent some time in his room trying to tidy things up as well.

Teyla walked in to find him staring at the pictures she had sent with him. "I will send you some more through the computer when I transfer the recordings onto my laptop," Teyla told him as she came and sat on the bed.

"When do you think we should tell T.J. that you're leaving?" John asked.

"I do not think we should mention it until we are already at the airport."

John agreed, "That's probably a good idea."

Silence fell over the room and they both felt the tension in the air. Teyla finally broke it by commenting, "This room is very lovely. It must be very nice to stay here while you are recuperating."

John's face turned sad in remembrance. "Not really." He paused then continued, "My Mom died in this room."

The shock on Teyla's face was apparent as she leaned over and put her hand on John's arm. "I am so sorry, John. I did not realize. Was it many years ago?"

John's hand covered hers. "Yeah, I was fourteen at the time."

"Yet no matter the passage of time, the pain always remains," Teyla said softly.

John squeezed her hand and acknowledged, "You would know, wouldn't you?"

"And the pain of your father's passing is still fresh for you as well," Teyla sympathized.

John made a small grimace. "That … pain … is a bit different. My Dad and I didn't really agree on much, especially on what I should do with my life. I was a pretty big disappointment to him. Luckily he had Dave."

John tried not to sound too bitter at that statement. It really wasn't Dave's fault that he'd been a total screw up most of his life while Dave had been a poster child.

Teyla didn't know how to respond to that as she knew nothing of John's relationship with his father. But she tried anyway. "If he knew of your accomplishments now, I know he would feel differently."

John just shrugged and diverted attention away from himself by saying he should go get Torren out of Josie's hair and start cleaning up all the toys they'd left all over the house.

Teyla went back to her packing, checking up on John and Torren when she was done. She filled up the rest of the memory on the camcorder, hoping all that she had taped would help Torren in the coming weeks or months without John.

Julia showed up at lunchtime and finally got Dave out of his office to spend some time with everyone else. John decided to send a video e-mail to T.J. from everyone including T.J. He figured it should go through at the same time that Teyla and Torren went through the gate so they could check it as soon as they got back in Atlantis. Torren was a bit confused and kept laughing at John throughout the message.

He finally closed the laptop and the room grew quiet again. Torren moved around looking for something to play with but most of the toys had been put away. John knew he was overdue for a nap but both he and Teyla figured if Torren fell asleep during the plane ride to Peterson, it might be better.

Torren finally moved in front of the guitar John had been fiddling with yesterday and requested, "You pay Ol MitDonoo?"

"Sure, bring it here," John instructed.

He spent a few minutes plucking out Old MacDonald and a few other songs T.J. liked while the others joined in. Everyone knew what was coming and they were all trying to remain as normal as possible. Although John was pretty sure singing Old MacDonald was nowhere near normal for Dave and Julia.

John plucked at a few more random chords then noticed Teyla and Torren's bags stacked near the bedroom door and he started strumming a new tune as his deep voice started singing.

"All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go," his eyes strayed over in that direction. "I'm standing here outside your door. I hate to wake you up to say goodbye. But the dawn is breaking, it's early morn, the taxi's waiting, he's blowing his horn. Already I'm so lonesome I could die."

John wasn't sure if he could manage the next part but Julia, Josie and even Dave joined their voices with his.

"So kiss me and smile for me. Tell me that you'll wait for me. Hold me like you'll never let me go. 'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again. Oh, Babe, I hate to go."

John continued on with the next verse and was assisted again with the chorus. John thought maybe he could just end it here but he could see Teyla taking in every word and her eyes showed gratitude along with a slight sheen of moisture. So he began the last verse.

"Now the time has come to leave you, one more time let me kiss you. Close your eyes, I'll be on my way. Dream about the days to come, when I won't have to leave alone, about the time I won't have to say…"

This time Teyla herself joined in with the others to sing, "So kiss me and smile for me…"

She had definitely paid attention to the chorus the first two times they'd sung it. Julia started applauding as soon as they'd finished and said, "John, that was wonderful. John Denver had such great songs!"

"What are you talking about?" Dave argued. "That song is by Peter, Paul and Mary, right John?"

John shrugged, "You're both right. Peter, Paul and Mary released the song but it was written by John Denver."

Dave just shook his head. "I didn't realize."

"Most people don't," John confirmed.

Julia started talking about other songs by John Denver, stating the lyrics to 'Annie's Song' were among the most beautiful she'd ever heard. Dave had to add his two cents and the two of them debated music for a while.

John would normally have loved to get in on that conversation but his eyes were on Teyla as he put the guitar down. Torren ambled over and crawled into his lap. He knew the kid was probably exhausted but they were due to leave for the airport in just a few minutes.

"You ready to go for a little ride, Baby Bear?"

Torren nodded although John could tell he was fading. "Say goodbye to Josie, Pal, she's gonna stay here."

Torren ran over and gave Josie a big hug and kiss while Dave grabbed the bags and headed for the car. When Torren was snugly in John's lap and also going to the car, Teyla said her goodbye to Josie.

"Come back soon, sweetheart. John needs you here."

"I will try," Teyla promised and followed the rest outside.

John and Teyla carried on a conversation with Torren the whole way to the airport where Dave kept his private jet. They reminded him of all the things they'd done over the long weekend. John was hoping the happy memories would help in dealing with the fact that John wasn't going with them.

At the airstrip, the plane was fueled and already waiting outside the hangar. Dave drove as close as he could before parking the car and getting John settled in his chair. Dave and Julia gave quick kisses to Torren as they handed him over to John.

John could tell T.J. was starting to sense something wrong. It could be the bags being put on the plane or just the ongoing moods of all the adults. And Torren also had that connection with Teyla and he could tell Teyla was getting stressed.

He turned T.J. in his lap so they were facing each other and said, "We had a great time the last couple days, right?"

T.J. nodded and stuck his thumb in his mouth.

John swallowed hard and continued, "But now it's time for you and Mommy to go home. Do you understand?"

Torren's eyes got cloudy and around his thumb, he mumbled, "You tum home!"

John took a deep breath. "I want to come home with you but see my legs, they still have big boo boos on them and I need to get them all better before I can come with you."

The extreme pout popped the boy's thumb out of his mouth and his eyes filled with tears. "I want you tum home!" His lower lip trembled as he said the words.

An immense weight settled on John as he watched this little boy, who meant so much to him, fill with misery. "I want to come. I do!" insisted John. "But I can't right now."

His voice was cracking and if the lump in his throat got any bigger he was afraid he might stop breathing. "As soon as you get back, you can see that message we made on the computer." He hoped that would tempt him but Torren just pushed himself up and wrapped his arms around John's neck in a stranglehold.

John's arms immediately wrapped around the child and one hand kept running down the back of Torren's head. John wasn't sure if he was doing it to calm T.J. or calm himself.

But Torren's sobs just increased in both volume and intensity and he kept hiccupping, "You … tum … home!"

John was ready to roll back to the car, Torren with him. He'd all but forgotten the three other adults standing there. Dave and Julia had stepped a bit to the side but Teyla was right in front of him, tears trickling down her face.

"Torren," she pleaded, "It is time for us to go. Please do not make this more difficult than it already is."

Torren didn't seem to hear her, just tightened his grip. John reached up to try and pry Torren's hands apart but he let out a blood curdling, "Nooooo!"

John knew he couldn't do it. He didn't have the strength, emotionally anyway.

"Listen T.J." John tried to sound stern but the gravel in his throat only made him sound pathetic. "It's time for you to go. I promise I'll try really hard to get my legs all better and come home as soon as I can, okay?"

John had to stop to take another deep breath. "I promise you."

The boy's chants of, "You … tum … home," just continued.

John's agonized eyes finally looked in Dave's direction as he barely rasped above a whisper, "You're gonna have to take him."

Dave didn't know how John was getting through this; he was having a hard enough time as it was. He moved reluctantly toward his brother and the inconsolable boy clinging to him. As Dave got the child's hands unclenched from the death grip, John got a look at T.J.'s red, blotchy face.

He moved his hand from the back of Torren's head to his cheek and fiercely claimed, "Remember, I love you, Baby Bear!"

T.J. stopped struggling and screaming for half a second, long enough to kiss John's face and cry, "I 'member. I luh you, Papa Bear!"

But as Dave moved him further away from John, the cries got louder and he started to plead, "Pease! You tum home! Pease! Pease!"

John's vision clouded over and he blinked a few times before it cleared. T.J. was now a few yards away and approaching the door of the plane. Dave was a big guy but John could tell he was struggling to hold him.

Teyla stepped in front of John's view and leaned down to touch her forehead to his. "I must leave as well." Her voice was very soft and breathy.

John slid his hands into her hair and pressed his lips to her cheek. "I'm sorry, Teyla. I'm sorry."

She was about to ask why when Torren's wails escalated again. She nodded and John ordered gruffly, "Go! Take care of him!"

John noted Dave hadn't gotten much further, probably waiting for Teyla to come along. Teyla gave Julia a quick hug then climbed into the plane. Torren was now lying almost limp in Dave's arms but his voice was still at top volume.

As Dave started to walk away again, Torren reached his arms out for John screaming, "Pease! Papa Bear! Pease!"

And as Dave climbed into the plane, John heard him sob, "I luh you, Papa Bear!"

Then John's vision was completely obscured and he rolled back a little and looked down. He was pretty sure he'd find a big hole in his chest where T.J. had just ripped his heart out. To his surprise, there wasn't even any blood.

Dave exited the plane a few minutes later and John could still hear Torren sobbing. The door was closed and the plane started taxiing for takeoff.

John couldn't watch the plane actually take off so he rolled back to the car and leaned his head weakly against it. He wondered how long you could stay alive when your heart was no longer beating inside you.

He stared at the door handle as he heard a plane engine whine behind him. He couldn't look to see if it was their plane. As his eyes glazed over he had thoughts of opening the door and then wondered how much it would hurt if he slammed the thing shut on his hand. Would it hurt enough to ease the agony that was coursing through his stomach making him want to retch?

He looked down at his hands and saw the still pink scars from where he'd cut them with the glass. Okay, it hadn't really worked then, it probably wouldn't work now. And one more incident like that and he could forget about ever getting back to Atlantis and T.J. and Teyla. They'd lock him up in a padded room with no windows.

He wasn't so sure they shouldn't anyway. He was John Sheppard, Mr. Control, Mr. Calm – the man who hid his emotions so deep an archeologist couldn't find them. So what had happened to him over the past few weeks? He'd completely lost control on so many levels.

Right now all he could think about was the six-pack Dave had put in the fridge last night. And he was thinking he wasn't going to share.

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xoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxox

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