Mounting Pressure

Chapter 9-

A mother's love

Chapter summary:

A mother's job is never done. Adrien finally lets it out.

-A/N-

Hey all, welcome back! Legitimately sorry this took so long. Huge note at the end of the chapter for a bunch of stuff. Why this took so long, characterization stuff, my writing process. Check that out if you're interested. Otherwise, welcome to chapter 9. Bring on the sad! The teenage angst! The heartbreak and romance! Remember, with so much mounting pressure, somethings gotta give eventually.

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Nathalie Sancoeur was a professional. Before the tragic circumstance that befell her best friend Emilie, She had been a well-known and highly sought-after project manager in the business world. Nathalie had taken a hard loss when her best friend begged her to help with her husband's new venture. True, she could see the potential in Gabriel's work even back then. But it had still been a gamble. There is no such thing as a "guarantee" in the business world. Nepotism, sure. Cut-throat negotiations. Stock manipulation. There are many ways to boost your chances at a successful venture. But not a single one guaranteed success. Each approach had inherent risks, legal or not.

Even before that, she had been a very successful treasure hunter with her two partners. Most days, she cursed their luck for finding that damn miraculous pair in Tibet. Everything had been so perfect back then. She still had Emilie's love and companionship. Gabriel was quick to laugh and smile…

When Emilie fell into a coma, Nathalie saw it as her responsibility and pleasure to watch after her son and husband. Adrien had never been told, but she was his godmother at his mother's insistence. In the beginning, Gabriel had sworn his crusade had but one purpose; to bring back their beloved friend. She no longer believed him. How could she? The longer this farce went on, the more his lust for power grew and the colder he became. She was afraid having so many miraculous was warping his mind. Like they were poison.

Her feelings for Gabriel were complicated, and while they would never be lovers in the sense that others expected, they shared a strong bond. Those expectations of others were a point of frustration for her. Nathalie despised the rude remarks she received in college about how she should "find herself a man." Almost as much as she despised the labels others would assign to people they knew nothing about. There was a reason she cut her parents from her life at an early age and ran off seeking adventure with Emilie.

Nathalie only had two sexual partners throughout her life, and even then, it had taken Emilie's interest to include a third in their relationship. She didn't feel sexual attraction like many others, and she suspected Adrien was more like her in that regard. In her youth, it had taken years for her to develop that particular kind of interest in anyone, and only after making a strong emotional bond.

At this point, Adrien was known in the fashion industry for turning down many other models, and she had never seen him actively chase anyone. Even that classmate of his that he was so close with, Marinette. There was obviously something between them. Marinette was the only girl Adrien's ever let into his personal space or showed physical affection for. She was unmistakably smitten, yet he never seemed to understand that.

Nathalie had considered sitting down with the boy and asking him several pointed inquiries so he might begin to ask himself the big questions. He was nearly of age, yet was so sheltered and had yet to try and discover himself or his own interests, whatever they may be. Gabriel had put a stop to the idea quickly.

"I don't care what his preferences are, but he is my son, and I shall raise him as I wish. You forget yourself," He said in that cold, uncaring voice. Nathalie had relented. Silently, with distaste and not a small amount of frustration. But she relented. A regret among many now.

It's only recently she's tried to make amends for those numerous regrets. Nathalie had helped Adrien many times over the last year. His secret bank account. A safe house. His extra phone. She had quietly procured or co-signed for it all. Excuses to quietly slip away or some clever scheduling so he might get a break from his responsibilities for a time... If she couldn't be there for the boy emotionally, Nathalie would do her best to be there professionally. Just as it had been for his mother after Emilie's engagement with their partner. She didn't resent Gabriel for loving Emilie one bit… She resented him for being a piss-poor parent and a sub-par boss.

It galled her to see Adrien so neglected by him. Emilie may yet live, but that was a poor excuse to ignore a child. Nathalie knew Emilie would disapprove. It wasn't Gabriel that taught Adrien how to tie a tie; it had been her. It was Nathalie that went to his tournaments and praised his accomplishments. The man didn't even bother to give him "the talk" or teach him how to shave.

So long as she was sure Gabriel would never find out, Nathalie did what she could to support him. She had to be careful, though. He was stubborn, and Gabriel saw her efforts as a threat. That she might replace her dear friend in his son's heart.

So long as she kept him at arm's length, she was allowed to be in his life. Nathalie had used the ring only twice in the last year and only at Gabriel's insistence. Just recently, she had been instructed to compel Adrien to perform for the Gala. An unnecessary tactic she chose to ignore. Gabriel was a fool.

Fool or not, she still cared for him. Two decades and a half of friendship and love were hard to throw away. That ever-shrinking chance that things might turn around kept her going.

It was a shock to find the man unconscious on the floor and an even greater surprise for him to demand to see his son the moment he came too. Her stupefaction only grew as this particularly strange day progressed. Adrien had been missing and somehow snuck out to god knows where. She tried calling his main phone, only for it to go straight to voicemail. He only answered when she reached out to the phone she helped him get in secret.

Gabriel had demanded he be brought home immediately, and his wedding ring returned. She pointedly refused the second request. Nathalie suspected he intended to interrogate the boy, and she had no intention of letting the man hurt Adrien like that. He's seemed so depressed lately… It wasn't lost on her that Adrien's mood had seemed to deteriorate since her last trip a little over a week ago. She had handed the ring over for only three days. What foolish thing had Gabriel done to his own son in that time? When she returned, she had to strong-arm him to get the ring back in her possession.

They had a deal, after all. She was given sole use of the ring and was to prepare him to work for the Agreste brand while he continued his work on the miraculous. That the two worlds would never intersect for Adrien, and he was to be kept out of Gabriel's crusade. No exceptions. She would give the ring back occasionally if she ever had to leave Paris for work, though she loathed doing so.

He even threatened to fire her over not handing it over this morning, and Nathalie laughed in his face. She could obliterate him if she so chose, and he knew it. Nathalie had sacrificed her time, energy, tears, and even the use of her legs for the Agreste family. If he decided to push her too far, she wouldn't hesitate to destroy him and take Adrien to raise herself. To try and undo the six years of neglect he had suffered. The only reason she hadn't yet was out of a vain hope.

Hope that he might one day succeed and bring Emilie back to her. That she might temper his cold, calculating ways with her love and smile once again. That Adrien could get the family he deserves instead of what he sees as just his father's assistant…

Not to mention the very real possibility that it might end in mutual destruction. If Nathalie did move against him, He could use the miraculous's powers before he could be stopped. The two of them were playing a dangerous game indeed. Nathalie's mind drifted as she looked out the window of the car.

How has it come to this, Emile? Adrien sneaking out and lying. Gabriel's obsession with the miraculous and his blatant negligence… What would you have me do, I wonder? Would you give me your blessing to raise Adrien and forsake Gabriel? Or would you be disappointed with our failure to return you to us? Who would you choose to save? Forgive me, my love… She rubbed the bridge of her nose under her glasses. This wasn't the time to be sentimental. She needed to focus on Adrien right now.

Nathalie had no idea why Adrien had run away to his loft all night. He had promised her it would only be used in emergencies. Her sense of unease only grew when she tried to confront him over the phone, and he was evasive about why he left and where he's been. She couldn't remember the last time Adrien had tried to lie to her outright. Nathalie was sure, at the very least, she had gained the boy's trust by now. Hadn't she shown that she cared and was on his side?

…Perhaps not. It's not like I do anything to show I care. Not really. I may have gone out of my way for him, but it's not like he's ever truly seen me stand up for him or hear me say that I care… If she was honest with herself, there was another reason she had never fought harder for him.

She didn't know the first thing about raising a child or how to be there for a teenager. Emotions were complicated for her, and supporting another like that was even more challenging. As he got older, the idea of trying to do it herself faded. Had the window for being able to help him closed? Would he resent her for trying to take him away from his only surviving parent? It's not like she could explain the miraculous or his mother's condition to him. That would only hurt him all the more. Hell, how would she explain her relationship with his mother and why she was his godmother? What if she only compounded his trauma by trying at all? Damn you, Gabriel. Why couldn't you just man up and be the father he needs? And damn me for being a coward. I should have stepped up years ago…

She went to pick him up with his bodyguard behind the wheel. Nathalie and Adrien trusted the large man to a degree, but he was the strong silent type and never hesitated to do what Gabriel asked of him. He was often left in the dark about her silent dealings with the boy. What's that old saying? Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead. Nathalie was well versed in secret keeping. She had more than she knew what to do with now.

It was a tense drive over to his loft. Maurice glanced into the rear-view mirror several times with a frown. More emotion than she'd seen him show in months. Gabriel had been livid when he heard Adrien had been gone all night. He was just as worried for the boy as she was, it seemed…

"He's fine. Pay attention to the road, please." Nathalie called out.

He sighed and nodded. After twenty minutes, they parked a few blocks from Adrien's loft. When Maurice tried to get out and follow her down the street, she held her hand up to stop him. The large man hesitated, so she glared at him, making him swallow and return to the car. Nathalie knew it wasn't fair to him, but they were already much closer than she liked to showing him where Adrien's one safe house was.

The entire point of the place was for him to have somewhere he could escape his father if he ever needed to. Adrien thought she had helped him find the spot just so he could have some freedom should he ever wish for it, but Nathalie knew he may one day need it for a more sinister reason. If Gabriel ever turned the powers of the miraculous on him, she wanted Adrien to be safe. She was far too entrenched to try and back out now, but Adrien didn't deserve that life…

She stopped at the bottom of the narrow stairway leading up to his door with a frown. She reached down and checked her exoskeleton leg brace. After ensuring it had enough power, she carefully made her way up. The support was a modern marvel and gave her most of her physical freedom, but they weren't perfect. If the battery died halfway up, she'd have a real problem on her hands. After reaching the door, she dialed in the four-digit code and walked in.

"Adrien?" she called out into the empty room.

"One moment!"

Nathalie walked past the area set up like a living room and looked into the open doorway to the bathroom. Adrien was sitting on the counter next to the sink and hastily putting a plain shirt on. Adrien caught her eye through the mirror and gave her a weak smile.

"Morning, Nathalie."

She stared at him for several long seconds before shaking her head. What the hell did you do to yourself! She thought in shock. She had seen it for only a split second, but it wasn't something she could just ignore. His side had a sizeable purple blotch forming, along with his right arm. Even now, the edge of it was peaking out from under his shirt sleeve. Did his cheek look swollen?

Nathalie stormed over to him and pulled the shirt up to inspect his ribs. Her jaw opens slightly when she gets a good look at it. Adrien muttered "ouch" with a slight flinch when she put a hand near them. Not to mention the ice-cold feeling from her fingers.

"Hold still." She commanded with a glance. Adrien stiffened but did as he was told.

She took her time and peered over her glasses as she carefully looked him over. Adrien gritted his teeth as she poked and prodded his bruised area to confirm nothing was broken. Just like his mother… She tried to let her frustration go with the thought. Adrien was just a teenager after all, so she softened her tone.

"What happened?" She asked calmly.

"I fell."

"Fell, How?"

Adrien's face went passive, and he answered with an even tone. "Flight of stairs."

Nathalie's hand stopped, and she looked up to hold his gaze with narrowed eyes. She let go of him, and he lowered his arm. His stare was pure defiance. More lies? Blatant ones, no less. Does he think me a fool? There's a lot more going on here if he's that defensive. I'm sorry, Adrien. It's for your own good.

Nathalie put her hands behind her back so he couldn't see them…

"How did you really hurt yourself."

Adrien averted his eyes, "I fell off a roof early this morning…." He said in a submissive tone.

"What!? Where were you?"

Adrien was looking anywhere but her face. "At a friend's…."

Nathalie's hands fiddled with something behind her back again.

"What exactly happened that led to you being hurt. The truth."

Adrien grimaced but shrunk into himself.

"I took a girl out last night and almost got Akumatized. I didn't feel right when I woke up this morning and fell off her roof…." Adrien explained.

He couldn't stop his mouth from opening and saying the words. For Adrien, it felt like the guilt of lying to her was too much. His mind couldn't process any other reason, but he still understood that his Chat Noir secret couldn't be revealed. Essentially, it was a truth, just not the entire truth.

Nathalie's eyes widened uncharacteristically in shock.

"You were WHAT!"

Adrien flinched away from her sharp tone. He'd never heard Nathalie raise her voice like that. She straightened her back and closed her eyes while taking a deep breath. When she opened her eyes, they were hard as steel. Not necessarily because of him, though. How far have you fallen, Gabriel? Is nothing left of the man I knew? One rule. You broke the one rule I set when I decided to stay after your blunder last year. Keep Adrien out of it.

"Your father has requested your presence. Clean up as best you can. I'll wait for you out here." She said in a clipped tone and stepped out of the bathroom. Adrien's face fell the moment she mentioned Gabriel, and she cursed inwardly. He shouldn't dread meeting his own father, no matter the circumstances... Gabriel, you son of a bitch, you've gone too far this time. For you to stoop so low… She exhaled strongly through her nose and made a snap decision as pure determination filled her. No more. I'm gonna do what I should have done a long time ago. Things are about to change. You can either accept it or burn. It's time I did right by Emilie.

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Marinette took a gasping breath as her eyes shot open. She sat up and steadied her heart before laying back down with an arm over her face. She had another nightmare last night. She had tried to transform in her dream, but it didn't work. Chat Blanc had told her she was too late. That she never really loved him before rushing her with his powers. She had woken up just as his hand touched her stomach, and she started to crumble away. The pain had felt very real…

She could remember the first part of her dream just as vividly. It had been quite pleasant if a little risque. A romantic date with Adrien that ended with him slowly leaning over her until she was lying down. Their fingers intertwined above her head as he whispered her name before their lips met. She blushed slightly when she remembered his other hand had been on her breast. The feel of his kiss had felt just as real. Especially when his mouth started trailing down her neck while she breathed his name... But then she was standing above a broken Paris once again.

Damn nightmare. Can't you let me have ONE nice dream? She thought and rubbed her eyes, irritated. Strange dreams weren't new for her, scary or titillating. But it had been a long time since she's had one with Adrien in it, let alone racy or suggestive. Honestly, she had hoped she'd moved past those kinds of fantasies for the boy always out of reach. And I try to say I'm moving on. Probably just because of everything I told Chat last- Chat!

"Chat Noir?" She called out in a panic and looked around her room. When did she go to bed? What time was it? Was Chat ok? Is the Akuma still trapped? Where the hell did he go!?

Before she could do more than throw her blanket aside, Tikki flew in front of her face with her little paws up.

"Woah! Easy, Marinette. Chat's fine… I think?" She said hesitantly.

Marinette blinked at her.

"You think?"

Tikki gave her an uncertain smile and moved her paws in a calming motion, so Marinette sat back down on her heels. She was posed to jump up at a moment's notice like a skittish animal.

"He woke up about three hours before you did, and I saw him put you to bed before writing that note on your mirror." The kawmi explained with a pointing paw.

Marinette hopped up and strode over to it quickly. She snatched it off her vanity and read it twice before leaning over in front of the mirror, hands on the desk, head hung down in relief. Chats ok… what a mess. I can't believe he was almost akumatized. He could have at least said goodbye. How could he think I wouldn't be worried? Stupid cat… Not to mention, three hours? How long did I sleep? Must have needed it…

Now that she knew Chat was at the very least up and moving, she let some of her anxiety go. Without being so worked up, Marinette noticed her hand. She brought it up and inspected it with a flex. She made a fist and punched her other hand. No pain whatsoever.

"Marinette?" Tikki called hesitatingly.

"Hmm?" Marinette hummed while she flexed her fingers one by one. It was probably the fastest any of her broken bones had healed before, and she wanted to make sure they were working correctly. Marinette had no idea if miraculous magic could heal breaks perfectly, and the bones not setting properly was a genuine worry of hers. Lingering pain in her hand or difficulty with articulation would seriously impact her (hopefully) future profession and time as Ladybug.

"You need to stay calm, ok? I have to tell you something."

Marinette froze. She didn't like the sound of that. After taking a deep, calming breath, she turned towards her kawmi.

"What is it?"

"The Akuma we dealt with last night… May have left some… lasting effects." Tikki said nervously. Marinette stared at her for a few seconds.

"What kind of effects?"

"Well-"

"Marinette? Are you awake yet? Breakfast is ready!" Sabine called out from the stairway.

"Coming, maman!"

Marinette turned back to her kawmi, but Tikki just shook her head and made a shooing motion. She's got enough on her plate. If someone didn't tell her to, she'd forget to eat. Better to wait for now. Besides, Adrien has Plagg with him. I'm sure he can help Adrien out… I hope. You better not be slacking off, stinky cheese.

"Go eat. We'll talk about it after, ok?"

Marinette wasn't the type to just shelve something that sounded so important for later, but her stomach betrayed her with a growl. When she still hesitated, her kawmi rolled her eyes.

"It's not something you can do anything about right now. So go eat, and I'll tell you after. Go!" The kawmi said.

Marinette huffed and shook her head before making her way downstairs. When she passed him, her father was busy making the third or fourth batch of baked goods, and they had their morning greeting. He seemed as chipper as ever when she gave him a peck on the cheek. She stepped into their dining room and was surprised to see a very impressive spread of food ready. The toaster popped up, and her mother buttered them lightly before setting it down in front of Marinette's seat.

"Good morning, sweety… did you sleep ok?" She asked lightly.

Marinette hesitated slightly as she sat down. Her mother's tone was too casual, and why the breakfast fit for a king? Was today special somehow? Did she forget something important again?

"Morning, maman. I slept well, thank you." She said, picking up her fork to dig into her eggs and bacon.

Sabine sat down directly opposite her but didn't touch her food yet. That was usually her father's seat… uh oh…

Sabine leaned forward slightly and considered her daughter closely.

"Is there anything you'd like to tell me?"

Marinette's fork stopped an inch away from her mouth, and she slowly set it down. Her face remained passive as she tried not to panic. That could be about anything... right? Had she done something that might betray her superhero secret? No, impossible. She's spent years crafting alibis by now. What about her grades? No, she was passing all of her classes… barely. Nothing particularly new had happened with her side job selling clothes online. She's been meticulous in not having any panic attacks around her parents… All this raced through her mind as her hand set the utensil down.

There simply wasn't anything she could think of that this might be about.

"No? At least, I can't think of anything."

Sabine searched her eyes for a few moments.

"You know I trust and love you, Marinette, and I would never Judge you for your life choices. I don't want you to feel like you have to keep secrets from me. No matter what, I'll always support you." She said seriously.

Marinette gave her a bewildered look.

"Umm, thanks, and I love you too, mom… But I have no idea what you're talking about. What life choices? Have I done something?" She asked sincerely. She honestly had no idea where her mother was going with this.

Sabine shook her head.

"No, of course not… I just… worry about you and want to make sure you're being safe. I know you're at the age where certain things become of interest. Things like… boys? And sex?"

As it clicked for Marinette, her face flared crimson for a moment. She could still vividly remember when her mother sat her down for "the talk." Once was enough, thank you very much.

"Oh my god, Mom! Do we really need to go over this stuff? Again!?"

Sabine raised an eyebrow and gave her a flat look.

"I don't know, do we?"

Marinette opened and closed her mouth before giving her another confused look.

"Am I missing something? What brought all this on anyways?"

Sabine narrowed her eyes for a tick but huffed lightly and leaned back in her chair. I guess he was telling the truth. I don't think Marinette would lie about it when confronted outright… that's what I get for not trusting my own daughter. Still, you could hardly blame me. The boy was so jumpy I thought he was gonna bolt. Why was he acting so damn guilty? Or lie in the first place? Does he think I would have screamed at him? Or get violent or something? It was like he's never had a parent ask him questions... Such a strange boy sometimes. Either way, it was time for her to come clean.

"I guess I was just jumping to conclusions… I'm sorry dear. I should have trusted you more. Both of you. I caught Chat Noir leaving here this morning. It seems he fell. From your balcony."

Marinette's eyebrows shoot up, and she instantly focuses on the more worrying part for her.

"Did you just say he… fell?" Marinette asked in slight shock. Chat? The holder of the black cat miraculous? The man who can do a quadruple back flip from a ledge to a flag pole thirty feet in the air ten out of ten times? That Chat Noir? Sabine nodded.

"Yes. Early this morning, right around sunrise. But-"

"Was he ok? What happened?" Marinette asked. Sabine's lips thinned slightly, but she could tell her daughter was distraught for the boy. Best to soothe that worry before any more questions.

"He did seem hurt but refused most of the help I offered. Even after I gave him a ride, he was limping. He assured me that he was fine, though. He tried to say he hit a pigeon, but I'm positively sure that was a lie. I had to coax the truth out of him. He was acting like I caught him red-handed. I'd like to say that's why I thought you two were having sex…."

Marinette groaned softly and muttered, "Do you have to keep saying sex?"

Sabine rolled her eyes. Oh, please. Like I don't know about the toy under your mattress.

"You said you gave him a ride? That's… strange. Alright, tell me everything from the beginning."

Sabine recounted her peculiar morning with her daughter's… friend? Boyfriend maybe? How long has he been coming over without us knowing, I wonder? They might not be having sex, but I'm unsure how I feel about my daughter letting a masked boy into her room at night. Even one I trust.

"... then he got out of the car and limped away with the jar. I tried asking him if there was anything I could do to help again, but he said no."

Marinette listened the entire time in silence, letting her mother tell the story. By the end, Marinette was almost as worried about her partner as she had been when she woke up. She sat there with a frown while she tried to figure out what could possibly cause him to fall and get hurt. The balcony is only five stories up, and a drop like that should be nothing for him… I need to talk to Tikki. It's gotta be related to her "lasting effects." I hope you're ok, minou.

Sabine's motherly interest was just too strong to ignore. It wasn't lost on her that Marinette had yet to comment on what they were doing last night. She needed to ask a few more questions before letting this go…

"Ok, so you're not having se- umm, doing the horizontal tango with Chat. That doesn't mean you're off the hook, young lady. Was he over all night? Where did he sleep? How long has this been going on? Are the two of you… together?"

Marinette's face went redder with every word from her mother. She had to close her eyes for a second. Horizontal tango? Really? That might be worse…

"Yes, Chat was over all night. He…" She said before her face went the color of her super suit. Now that she thought about it, it really did sound rather intimate. It was NOT a date… God, this is embarrassing.

"He took me out to a play, and we talked till late into the night. We did sleep next to each other on my balcony, and I may have… fell asleep in his arms. It was the first time he's ever stayed the night, and no, we're not dating! We're not close like that! It just happened, ok? We stayed up too late and fell asleep. That's it."

Sabine couldn't help the small smile she had before covering it with a hand and schooling her face. It's so cute how they both seem to be in denial. They even worded it the same. You don't have a date night and fall asleep in someone's arms when you're "not close like that." That's probably why Chat was so on edge. They haven't worked things out, and it's still new for them. Oh, to be a teenager. They'll figure it out.

"You slept in his arms… but you're not dating? Really?" Sabine asked and gave her a look. Marinette covered her eyes with a hand.

"Maman!" she said, exasperated.

Sabine let out a short laugh just as her husband walked into the room.

"Honey? I could really use some help here. We just got five orders for personalized cakes, and we still have those thirty cupcakes to… Are you alright, Marinette? Your face is redder than your bike."

Sabine laughed again, walked over to Tom, and led him back into the bakery with a hand on his shoulder.

"It's nothing, dear. Just some mother-daughter talk. I'll get started on those cupcakes. And Marinette? Thank you for being honest. I trust you'll make the right choices. Just promise me you'll be safe. Let me know if you need any… anything, ok? Don't worry about working in the bakery today; we'll handle it." Sabine said with a sly smile. I'm sure Marinette knows I'll gladly help her get something for contraception. Still, it doesn't hurt to remind her.

Tom gave his wife a quizzical look, but Sabine smiled and shook her head. Better for him not to know until they make things official. Tom was particularly protective regarding their daughter's heart, after all. It was up to them to figure it all out. Especially after last time…

Marinette lightly banged her head on the table after the door closed behind her parents. It sounded like her mother still thought they were… having sex. An image of Chat wearing nothing but his mask with a rose in his mouth appeared unbidden in her mind. Firm muscles in all their glory. Oh my god! No! Not if hell froze over! Damn you, Chat! Why couldn't you sneak out like normal? Not that he should be sneaking out of my room often! Just… ugh. She thought with another light bang. She needed to clear her head. A morning run, that's what she needed. Some exercise and a long, hot shower. Put this embarrassing morning behind her.

Her stomach growled again… well, after breakfast. Then start the day. After putting some eggs and bacon between two pieces of toast, she took a bite before her phone dinged. She would have ignored it, but that tune was the sound for Adrien's number. She fished out her phone to check it while she ate.

Marinette choked. After a coughing fit and hitting her chest a few times, she reread the message about three times before the little ellipses showed up at the bottom. What the hell is with today?

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Nathalie silently led Adrien down to the parked car. You could cut the tension in the air with a knife. It wasn't usual for Adrien to catastrophize, but he certainly was now. What would she tell his father? How angry would he be once he heard that Adrien had spent the night with a girl he knew nothing about? What if he investigates and finds out it wasn't Adrien who had been with Marinette but Chat Noir? Is his secret about to be revealed? One phone call to Sabine, and it was over.

What the hell was he going to do about Plagg? Should he run back and stash him in the safe house? What if he woke up and needed something? What if they search him when he gets home and finds the kawmi? He had to protect his little buddy no matter what. Even if it meant tanking what relationship he had left with his father and Nathalie, Adrien couldn't let Plagg be discovered or hurt. His kawmi had just given everything to protect him, and now it was his turn to do the same. And Nathalie…

He almost felt worse about her anger than what his fathers might be. At least she talked to him and seemed to give half a damn. Why was she that angry with him? Was it because he wasn't careful enough and got caught? Or was she disappointed in him for supposedly sneaking out all night in the first place? Adrien felt like this was the car ride to his execution. If anything happened to Plagg, it might as well be…

He gripped his duffle bag tightly in his lap when he slid into the back seat. Nathalie sat down next to him, and he stiffened. Adrien felt like a nervous wreck. She glanced at him with a frown before turning to face him fully.

"Adrien, are you alright? I should have started with that; I'm sorry." She asked in a soft tone.

Adrien considered her for a second with his mouth slightly open. It wasn't often anyone in his house actually asked him how he was, and he wasn't quite sure how to answer.

"I… I'm in some pain, but it's not too bad. Nothing was broken…." He answered without meeting her eyes.

Nathalie delicately placed a hand on his shoulder. It nearly made him flinch, and he tensed. She never showed physical affection. No one in his house did. The last time someone hugged him, he was fifteen.

"That's good to hear, but I don't just mean physically. You said you were almost akumatized. You don't have to tell me about it if you don't want to, but I'll listen if you need it. I'm here for you, Adrien… And I won't tell Gabriel anything you don't want me to." She offered sincerely in the same soft voice.

If Adrien had felt surprised at her actions and words before, now he was actually shocked.

"I… I'm fin-..." he started to say but choked a little.

Adrien looks down in his lap as his eyes start to water, and he fights the sudden urge to cry with everything he's got. Showing that kind of vulnerability wasn't something he could normally do. An Agreste doesn't cry. Especially one who was almost eighteen.

But he wasn't fine. Adrien couldn't bring himself to say it when it wasn't true, not even one more time. He was scared shitless for his kawmi and best friend's well-being. He was terrified his secret might finally be out soon, and he'll lose Plagg. He had already come so close to losing him and everything else. But it wasn't just that…

He had some very dark and frankly depressing thoughts in the last few days because of that damn Akuma. The kind of thoughts he'd never repeat to anyone, ever. The sort of things that don't come from someone healthy or "ok." ideas about… He couldn't even bring himself to think about them anymore. He never wanted to feel like that again. They scared him like very few things ever had before. Not just the ones about himself but for others as well. I almost killed a man with my bare hands… Monarch had shown him a darkness he didn't know he had, and now he felt lost. Adrien didn't know who he was anymore if he ever knew at all.

What if… What if that wasn't just the Akuma? Much of what he went through was always there; he just never let himself dwell on it. The loneliness and fear. The anger he felt when he failed. The constant, ceaseless expectations others had for him. The utter disdain he felt for the wealthy elite. When he woke up this morning, he smiled and tried to shove it down to where he hid all his pain, but it felt like the door wouldn't close anymore. It was too full.

Adrien had been bottling up his misery, loneliness, and every other emotion for so long. Ever since his mother left…

His tears started falling as his hands gripped the straps to his bag with white knuckles. He tried to blink them away, but they kept coming. Stop crying! Stop, dammit! He thought fiercely, but they refused to listen.

It felt like every terrible feeling he's ever had was pouring out of him all at once. All those times he told himself to just "shake it off" were knocking him down one after the other. He thought he could bury this most recent trouble, but it had hit a little too close to home. A mirror had been held up, and he couldn't handle what he saw when he looked into it.

Adrien had been ready to give in when Monarch finally played his hand. He wanted to so badly. All it took was for Monarch to hit just the right points, and he folded like a house of cards. What does that say about him? That he was too weak? That he didn't deserve Plagg and the powers of the black cat? How could he face Ladybug now after all his talk of always being there?

He had been so ready to give in and jump head-first into that void. To hand over control for just a second of relief. He did give in. If he had been alone, He'd be a monster right now. Worse, Monarch would have gotten the miraculous. How many people could have been hurt because of his weakness? How much more of a burden will he be to his friends and allies? Adrien felt utterly powerless. What will Ladybug say when she finds out? If it wasn't for Marinette, he would be terrorizing Paris right now. She had risked everything for him. Marinette…

Thinking about her was the final straw for some reason, and he didn't even understand why.

Adrien was openly weeping now, and Nathalie's hand came away for a second in shock. She didn't make a sound as she pulled Adrien close to hug him. His bag falls to the car's floor as he turns into the embrace, and the floodgates break completely while he cries like he hasn't in years. She hesitated for only a moment before trying to soothe him.

" It's ok. I'm here." Nathalie cooed and patted his back a little awkwardly. The boy had his head on her shoulder, and she could feel her shirt start to get wet from his tears.

Maurice slowed the car and turned in his seat to look back at them with pure concern and misty eyes. His mouth twitched like he was about to say something, but Nathalie shook her head lightly. He looked on sadly before nodding and pulling the car into a parking lot. The two adults sat in the car in silence and let him cry.

Nathalie had never seen Adrien cry, let alone have a complete breakdown. He seldom complained or showed that he was hurting. For him to fall apart at the slightest indication of care… He was clutching her like a small child would. How long has he been bottling this up?

Damn you, Gabriel! She thought fiercely as her own eyes started to tear up. She had to take a deep breath, so she didn't start crying with him. Nathalie knew more than a little of that blame was on her. Gabriel wasn't the only one who could have done something for him. She should have tried to reach out to him years ago. She prayed she wasn't too late.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry…." He kept repeating between his tears, all while Nathalie rubbed his back and held him.

"It's ok. I know. Everything's going to be ok, I promise." Nathalie said softly.

She swore it would be. One way or another.

.

-Ending Notes-

So much to talk about with this chapter…

Feel free to skip all this tripe.

First,

I unquestionably jinxed myself with that freak problem line in the notes last time. No joke, my family got hit with an eviction notice just two days after posting the previous chapter. Turns out our landlord hasn't paid his taxes in a decade, so he's losing it. Had to scramble to find somewhere else to live. My living situation is still pretty precarious, so I won't try and stick to any kind of upload schedule for the time being. I'll try and put out a chapter every two or three weeks. Basically just whenever I can. I know that sucks but gotta do what ya gotta do.

Not only all that, But it took me a long time and many re-writes for this chapter to feel… postable, if not perfect. Of all the chapters I've published so far, this one is the one I've had the most trouble writing. This one will probably go through a few changes. Last chapter, Adrien was in this "Everything's fiiiine. I'm fine! What a great day!" kinda mindset at the start. Now he's having a whole ass breakdown. That's entirely deliberate. It's also hard to write that kind of hard swing well. So I can see myself tweaking it from time to time. Which segues nicely into my next point.

I went back and changed a few lines in the last two chapters. Typos and mistakes I missed in the thousands of times I reread them for the proofreading process. Like Wayzz being at Gabriel's or how specific names weren't meant to be said during the almost akumazation.

There are a lot of times when I write a line, and what I'm trying to convey is evident in my mind, but when I re-read it later, I notice how it just doesn't work like I thought it did. Case in point, Plagg had a line in chapter 8 about how he "gave Adrien energy," and I felt it was clear when that happened. It's important because it's part of why he feels so gungho at the start of ch.8. He's got all this excess energy from Plagg and doesn't have the Akuma looming over him. There was a tiny bit of inner dialogue meant to show how Adrien wasn't as great as he seemed, but it didn't do a good enough job of getting the point across. Man, I'd kill for a proofreader or editor… A pretty famous quote comes to mind about art and my writing process.

"A Novel is never finished. Only abandoned."

I first heard it from Neil Gaiman, but it's much older than that. The point is I go back from time to time and tweak the… tone, let's say, of my work. The meat of the story stays the same, but tiny elements change over time.

I'd also like to comment on how I've written Nathalie and Adrien here.

I really wanted to go for a more morally grey characterization of Nathalie. We don't get much insight into how she feels about Adrien or Gabriel. Here Nathalie's this not terrible but not benevolent type. She cares about what she cares about and doesn't get hung up on morals often. Otherwise, she wouldn't help Gabriel as she does in seasons 1-4 or give Adrien those sad looks sometimes. I want her to start seeing Adrien as more than just "my boss's son." After seeing him deal for years, she finally realizes that the emotionally neglected child in her care might not be as ok as he seems. Imagine that.

I don't usually feel the need to explain my characters, but Nathalie is in an odd place in canon. At least up to the point I've seen. I just went the route I felt was best for her.

As for Adrien's meltdown, have you ever had something traumatic happen to you, and you don't react immediately? Like, it hadn't really sunk in until Nathalie showed him some kindness. He's spent years just letting those emotions pile up and pile up until it was more than he could handle. Not to mention his new feelings for Marinette and his absolute fear for Plagg he's got right now. The poor kid just needed to vent.

I really hope you enjoyed this chapter! Feel free to critique it in any way you'd like or leave a comment if you're feeling spicy. I'll see you all in chapter 10! I'm updating here on F.F. first, and I'll put it up on AO3 this weekend, so you's guys are getting it first. Peace!