The following weekend Eddie finally got to go to Indianapolis with Wayne. He took the Saturday off and even spent the night at home instead of Steve's so they could leave early. It felt strange sleeping alone. He spent most nights with Steve now and the bed felt far too big for just him.

Wayne drove them to the city and Eddie was quite happy to annoy him with his music. He did include some Restless Heart and The Judds though because he wasn't a complete asshole. "What do you even need?"

"New sheeting for the trailer. It's rusted to hell and we don't want a leak." Wayne glanced at him with a rueful smile. "You boys up to helping me out?"

"Sure." Steve slept over so much he better be concerned about a leak. "Soon as we're both off for a day."

"It's nice to have two of you around to help out now. About time you got a boyfriend."

"Thank you, Wayne." Eddie glared at him pointedly. "I didn't realise my love life was so important to you."

"As long as he makes you happy."

"He does." Eddie couldn't help smiling. Definitely the happiest he'd ever been but admitting that out loud seemed like tempting fate and also too sappy. He was not an impassioned person normally.

They ordered the new sheeting with delivery for the next week within an hour. Which left them free to wander around the city for a while.

They were walking down a side street when Eddie saw it; a small shop squashed between a gym and a lingerie shop. It was called The Devil's Advocate and he was certain it was a sex shop. Exactly what he needed. Now he just had to get away from Wayne for a few minutes and slip inside.

As they entered a plaza dominated by a large fountain, Wayne paused and turned to face him. "I need to visit the bank and it'll be a while. Do you wanna do some shopping on your own? I'll be about twenty minutes."

"Sure." Eddie could hardly believe his luck.

"I'll meet you back here at half past, okay?"

"Okay." Waiting until Wayne was out of sight, he hurried back down the alleyway to the sex shop.

He'd expected it to be dimly lit and cramped but was pleasantly surprised to find a spacious shop that was well-lit. He didn't feel quite so sleazy now as he walked down one of the isles and examined a row of dildos curiously. Not what he'd come for but interesting all the same.

There was shelving against one wall that had several books on and he carefully read the titles. Nothing about gay sex but he could make do with How to Please Your Man. It would be a good starting point at least. As he made to move on, another book caught his attention called BDSM Basics for Beginners and after hesitating, he took that too.

And there, on the other side of the shop was clothing. Eddie quickly found the stockings. There were so many different types and it took him a while to decide. Finally, he settled on a lace suspender set. Blushing, he tucked it under his arm and tried to move on but almost immediately saw the satin robes. They were silky and exactly what Steve had asked for. Sighing, he took a black one. Not a chance he was wearing something pink.

On his way to the counter, Eddie grabbed several other interesting things, including lube and condoms. Because there was no way he'd be buying that shit in their local shop where Deborah from his history class last year worked. She liked to gossip and Eddie did not want the whole town to know he was buying lube and condoms.

The cashier was another surprise, an older lady was sitting behind the counter and she smiled warmly at him. "New customer?"

"Yeah." He smiled nervously and set everything on the table. When she picked up the How to Please Your Man book and gave him a wry smile he cleared his throat and started fiddling with the fluffy handcuffs hanging over the side.

"For your girlfriend?"

And shit she was holding the cock ring. Eddie closed his eyes, briefly wishing the ground would swallow him whole. "Uh, no that's for me, obviously."

She was still smiling as she reached under the counter and pulled out another book. "Don't be offended but is this what you want?"

Eddie took it and read the title; The Joy of Gay Sex. "I- um, y-yeah, I'd like this."

"Nothing to be ashamed of. We keep these books back here because people get offended seeing them on the shelves. Don't know why considering what this place is," she told him conversationally as she swapped out the books and began ringing up his purchases. "You'd think people would be less hypocritical coming in here but no."

"It doesn't bother you?" Because Eddie had just outed himself to a stranger and he was silently freaking out.

"Not at all. Why shouldn't you love who you want?" She picked up his second book and her smile became more genuine. "My husband and I used to be into all kinds of things at your age. I hope you get as much fun out of this book as we did. Remember to read it carefully, it's easy to go wrong."

"We will." Eddie still hadn't decided if he was going to tell Steve about those kinds of thoughts he'd been having. They hadn't even touched each other yet so for now, he was keeping this book to himself. "Thank you, for the book."

"Anytime dear. Everyone should be allowed to learn, even if it's... unorthodox."

Yeah, gay and interested in BDSM in small town, Indiana. Eddie knew how lucky he was to even find a potential boyfriend. He could only hope Steve wouldn't be disgusted when he found out. Pushing those depressing thoughts aside, Eddie took the nondescript black bag the woman handed him and paid. His bank account would suffer for this but his comprehension would thank him. "Thanks."

"Next time, you should bring your boyfriend. It's a lot easier and more fun to shop together!" She told him cheerily as he headed for the door.

Eddie smiled and waved goodbye, going back out into the empty street. He took a deep breath of the cool air and relaxed. He'd gotten more than he'd thought possible and for the first time in his life, couldn't wait to get home and read.

"Eddie!" He jumped, spinning around to confirm that yes, Dustin was hurrying over to him with a big grin on his face. "Hey, what are you doing here?"

"Shopping, butthead. I take it you're doing the same?" Eddie grabbed him by the shoulder and steered him back down the street and away from the shops. The last thing he wanted was for Dustin to realise what he'd walked out of. "You here on your own?"

"Nah, my mom brought me. Look, there she is." Dustin pointed at a woman Eddie presumed was his mother and dragged him over to her. "Hey, mom, this is Eddie, from school. He's my DM?"

Recognition flashed in her eyes and she smiled at Eddie. When he held out a hand he was surprised to be pulled into a warm hug. "Hello, Eddie! Dustin's told me so much about you. It's nice to finally put a face to the name."

"Likewise, Mrs Henderson."

"Oh please, call me Claudia."

"Okay, Claudia, it's a pleasure to meet you." For added charm he bent down and kissed her hand, winking at Dustin as he scoffed.

"You're such a gentleman, your father raised you well."

"It was my uncle." And perfect timing he spotted Wayne and waved him over. "This is him. Wayne, this is Dustin's mother, Claudia."

Dustin had visited the trailer a couple of times so Wayne had already met him. Eddie was surprised to see his uncle look so flustered when he shook her hand and... was he blushing? Eddie grinned, catching Dustin's eye and he looked even more grossed out than before.

As the two began talking he walked a little away and beckoned Dustin over. "Are you seeing what I'm seeing?"

"Uh, yeah and it's gross."

"What, you don't want to be my stepbrother?"

"That is..." His expression turned calculating and Eddie felt kinda bad for mentioning it. "Holy shit, that just might work! I'll- I'll come up with something and show you at school, okay? We can do this!"

"Okay?" Eddie watched in bemusement as Dustin grabbed his mother's hand and practically towed her away. But she did turn and give them a wave goodbye that Wayne returned as Eddie rejoined him. "Hey, she was totally into you."

"Don't be daft. What would a beautiful woman like that want with me?"

"You're selling yourself short, Wayne."

"And you're reading into things too much. Come on, let's get something to eat. I saw a hotdog stand a street over and it smelled pretty good." They sat together on a stone bench, backs to the fountain as they ate their hotdogs. Eddie had just taken a large bite when Wayne sighed and said, "Eddie, I know this is going to be embarrassing but we need to have this talk… are you sexually active right now?"

Eddie choked and Wayne had to bang on his back to dislodge the bread. He replied in a strained voice, "Uh, no. Kinda? I don't- we're not having sex if that's what you mean."

Wayne nodded, eyes focused on something in the distance. "I'm sorry, kiddo. But I'd never forgive myself if you caught something - god forbid it be that AIDS thing going around - because we didn't talk about safe sex. I've left you to it mostly but please, make sure Steve is clean first."

"He is. We both got tested a few weeks ago." Eddie did it mostly out of curiosity and wasn't surprised everything came back negative. Steve was fine too, like he'd said he was back in September. "We'll use condoms."

"I love you, Eddie. I know you got your dad and we visit him sometimes but as far as I'm concerned, you're my son. I want you to be happy and I can see Steve does that. So tell me you bought some condoms and we can go back to eating." Eddie smiled and showed him the packet, careful not to reveal everything else he'd bought. Wayne nodded, looking relieved. "You're a good kid."

"Thanks, Wayne. I love you too." He hugged his uncle quickly and then asked, "so Claudia huh?"

"Enough of that. I told you, it was nothing. I doubt I'll see her again."

"I mean..." Eddie shrugged and bumped their shoulders together. "Dustin comes over sometimes, I'm sure she would pick him up if I couldn't drive him home for some reason."

"Eddie, no hare-brained schemes. This isn't some Hallmark movie."

"I'm just saying you deserve to find someone too!" Eddie was well aware Wayne had put his life on hold for him for a long time now. "I'm not a little kid anymore. You can get a girlfriend and not worry about taking care of me."

"Hmm, maybe."

Better than a no so Eddie let it go for the time being.

Since they had both gotten what they'd come for, it was time to go home. Eddie kept glancing at the stupid black bag the whole ride home, eager to start reading and hide everything else. He felt too exposed with Wayne sitting right next to him and all that stuff just sat there innocently.

He was quick to hide in his room when they returned but called before shutting the door, "thanks for today, Wayne."

"Anytime, kiddo."

Safely alone, Eddie pulled out the books and frowned at them both. It would be best to start with the basics so he put the BDSM book in his bedside drawer, dropping the other one onto his bed. He shoved everything else into the drawer too but paused as he held the tube of lube, turning it over in his hands with a soft smile.

When he'd turned twelve, a second tub of Vaseline had appeared in the bathroom. It took him several days to work up the nerve to take it and only then because it hurt to masturbate. Within a week a new tub appeared. The same thing happened every time Eddie took it. They never spoke about it but he was grateful for it all the same.

Wayne wasn't a man of many words but he took care of Eddie.

Eddie stared at the half-empty tub and wondered when he'd gotten so independent. He never would have walked into that shop a year ago. Now here he sat, fully acknowledging and preparing to have sex with someone. The lube in his hands seemed to mock the vaseline. He let it fall into the drawer and then shut it, getting up with a sigh.

How times had changed.

He sat on his bed and picked up the book, staring at the plain white cover as if it held all the secrets in the universe. Currently, it did. At least, Eddie was hoping it would tell him what he needed to know. He opened it on a random page and instantly felt his cheeks flood with colour, eyes widening in surprise at the illustration of two men, one licking the other guy's ass and his erection in full view. Eddie continued staring at the photo for a long time and then swallowing thickly, flipped back to the front and began to read.

It was a very interesting read.

"Eddie? I'm leaving for work." Wayne knocked on the door and put his head through as Eddie glanced up from where he was still sitting on his bed, engrossed in his book. Wayne raised an eyebrow when he saw what he was holding. "Reading?"

"Yeah, gotta learn somehow." He was insanely grateful it was two pages of text and no illustrations. "I'll see you in the morning?"

"Alright. Don't stay up too late and don't annoy the neighbours."

"I'll try not to." When the front door shut behind Wayne, Eddie blew out a relieved breath and slouched back.

He'd been reading for over two hours straight. When he stretched he realised his muscles weren't the only things that were stiff. Had he really been that engrossed he'd ignored his erection?

Scrubbing his face, Eddie stood and glanced down as the book fell onto the bed, turning the page with First Time highlighted. He was still reeling from all the new information but at the thought of trying something, his stomach contracted even as his dick throbbed.

"Shit, shit, shit," he muttered to himself, pacing in front of the bed.

Well, there was only one way to know for sure.

Sighing, he took off his rings and snatched up the bottle of lube. He turned it over and over, thinking hard. He knew what to do and had the instructions right in front of him but...

Exploration was encouraged.

Fumbling his trousers open and shimmying out of them, Eddie settled back and took a deep breath. The lube felt very slippery compared to vaseline as he poured it onto his fingers. When he pressed the first finger to his hole he immediately tensed up but forced himself to relax and pushed inside.

Huh, not exactly the instant pleasure he'd been expecting. Experimentally he thrust it a few times and as the foreign sensation faded it was replaced by a low burn, a hum of pleasure building under his skin. Eddie found he wanted more.

The second finger was a little harder to work in but the lube helped and shit, two were better than one. Head hitting the pillow, Eddie worked the two fingers inside himself, searching for that spot, the... prostate? He found it hard to believe such a thing existed but then with a sharp burst of pleasure he gasped, clenching around his fingers and froze.

Fuck it was definitely real.

And Eddie wanted more.

Curling his fingers to hit that spot again, Eddie sped up and soon felt dizzy, head swimming with the foreign and intense pleasure. Within seconds of touching his hard and leaking cock, he was coming across his stomach, more than he'd ever thought possible.

Breathing heavily through the shockwaves, Eddie finally collapsed back on the bed and laughed giddily.

Self-discovery was amazing.

Letting out a long sigh, Eddie brushed his hair back and waited for his body to relax. He felt strangely empty when he removed his fingers, the sensations switched around now compared to when he'd started. There was a lot of mess to clean up but god, his legs were still trembling so that would have to wait.

Instead, he stared up at the ceiling and enjoyed the pleasant afterglow as he worked through his discovery.

He'd learned a lot about himself in one night and now he had an idea of how to have sex with Steve. Progress. Whether he topped or bottomed, that was still a lot to think about. Eddie hadn't decided what he wanted yet. But at least he knew he liked having something in his ass. The thought of admitting any of this to Steve brought his blush back fiercely.

Nope. This was never coming to light.

He sat up with a groan and stared at the bottle of lube at the end of the bed. He already wanted to try again. Fuck, he'd need another bottle at this rate. Resolutely he tossed it back in the drawer and stood up, unsteadily making his way to the bathroom to clean up.

When he returned it was to find Steve in the kitchen. He smiled as Eddie looked at him in surprise. "Hey, I hope you don't mind?"

"No, of course not." Eddie moved to get some water and smiled into the glass as Steve's arms wound around his bare waist.

"Hey, melin," Steve murmured the words into his shoulder, finishing with a soft kiss. "I missed you."

"Missed you too, sweetheart."

"Yeah?" He could feel Steve's lips curving into a smile as his arms tightened. "You mean that or you just saying it to make me happy?"

"Can't both be true?"

"I guess."

Eddie turned so they were facing each other and pecked his lips. "You staying the night?"

"If you want me to."

"I do." Eddie backed him up into the bedroom and smiled wide, pushing him down on the bed. He quickly climbed on his lap before he could complain and kissed him fiercely, tugging on his hair to make him groan. "How could I not want you, Stevie?"

"Eddie," Steve gasped his name, head falling back and exposing his neck and Eddie accepted the invitation, nipping at the soft skin. "God, you drive me insane."

Eddie pulled back when Steve's hands slid under his towel and quickly grabbed his wrists to stop him. "Hey, can we not tonight? I just... fuck I already came once I don't think I'm up to another round."

"You already..." Steve trailed off, eyebrows quirking in surprise. "Without me? I'm offended."

"Shut up." Eddie smacked his shoulder fondly and got up. "I didn't know you were coming over. You should've called." And with a wicked smile, he turned his back on Steve and dropped the towel, bending to rummage in his drawers to find something to wear.

"Fuck, Eds. Now you're just being an asshole." When he turned back around, sleep pants on, he caught Steve staring at him with a lazy grin. "What did you do?"

"I mean..." Eddie made a gesture in front of his crotch. "What else?"

Steve pointed at a fresh stain on his bedsheets. "That's lube. I thought you didn't have lube?"

"Ah." Eddie covered his face as he felt it burning and groaned. "This is what happens when you turn up unannounced. I had literally just stepped out of the shower so, of course, I haven't cleaned my sheets."

"Do you wanna tell me?" Steve looked genuinely curious and held out a hand that Eddie reluctantly took, letting himself be guided back to the bed. "If not, that's cool. We can drop it."

"No, it's fine. I was trying something new." He glanced at the book on his bedside drawers and picked it up to show Steve. "I got this today."

Steve opened it curiously and his reaction almost mirrored Eddie's perfectly, face immediately flushing red. "Oh, wow, it's um, very detailed."

"I know. I've read through it."

"All of it?"

"Most of it. The pictures were very distracting. Gave me all kinds of ideas." Eddie smiled against Steve's cheek when he saw him swallow thickly. He turned the pages to find the picture of two men having sex with everything in full view. "What are you thinking?"

"Christ, Eds. I'm trying not to think about any of it right now." Steve squeezed his eyes shut and took a shuddering breath. "Are you trying to make me hard?"

"Is it working?"

"Yes."

Eddie hummed and gently took the book back, putting it on the side before pushing Steve down. "Show me."

"What?"

"How you like it."

Steve's surprise quickly morphed into something intense, eyes darkening as they searched Eddie's. "You want me to..."

"Yes." Eddie even helped him out of his shirt and unbuttoned his pants before retreating to his chest. "If you want to?"

"I- sure." Steve turned to kiss him, fumbling with his pants and then broke free with a groan. Eddie looked down, momentarily overwhelmed by the sight of Steve fisting his cock. He was brought back when Steve panted, "lube?"

Eddie found it and grinning, poured way too much over Steve's hand. "Better?" He capped the bottle and threw it aside, dragging Steve into another kiss. Eddie loved the slick sound of his hand and couldn't help watching. "You've got a pretty dick, sweetheart."

"Fuck, Eds, don't say stuff like that."

"It's true." Eddie started playing with his chest hair and then gave a sharp tug, making Steve's hips stutter and a high-pitched whine fall from his lips. "Almost as pretty as those sounds. You touch yourself and think about this often?"

"E-every time."

"Yeah?" Eddie really wished he waited, had known Steve was coming over. Maybe next time. For now, he enjoyed the warm staticky feeling under his skin and focused on Steve. "Can I touch you some more?"

"Please."

He bent down, licking one of his nipples and taking it into his mouth, making Steve keen. Eddie hummed back, hand moving lower to stroke through the hair of his happy trail, their hands bumping together as Steve continued stroking himself.

"Eds, Eds, I can't- ah, I'm gonna come."

"Go for it, sweetheart." Eddie switched to the other nipple, biting down and making Steve jolt, body going tense. He pulled back to watch Steve work himself through his orgasm, equally fascinated and attracted by the intimate moment. When Steve relaxed and let go of his softening cock, Eddie kissed his cheek. "Steve?"

"Hmm?"

"You're amazing."

He laughed breathlessly, holding out his clean hand for Eddie to take. "That's you. Never done that before. God, you make everything feel brand new again."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah." Steve opened his eyes, full of honesty and vulnerability. "You're so different and you make me feel like a whole different person to who I used to be. I like this version of me."

"I do too." Eddie kissed him softly, brushing back his sweaty hair. "Let me get something for you to clean up with."

"In a minute. Stay a bit longer."

He did, cuddling up into Steve's side for a while as they lay in silence. Only the sound of their breathing broke the quiet and Eddie found himself playing with Steve's chest hair again after a few minutes, just petting him now with no tugging. He'd never realised how intimate things could be without even touching each other.

"Eds?" Steve let go of his hand to weave it through Eddie's hair and guide him out of his current hiding spot in his neck. "I really need to kiss you again."

"Oh, really, huh?" Eddie went willingly though. He hummed against Steve's lips when he started playing with his hair, brushing it back and holding it against the base of his neck. "I should put it up."

"Probably." Steve's smile was beautiful when they broke apart. "How about that cleanup?"

"One sec." With a last, chaste kiss, Eddie got up to wet a cloth for Steve. He sat crossed-legged on the bed, waiting as Steve cleaned himself up and got comfortable. When he finally settled in just his underwear, Eddie swallowed thickly and asked, "Hey, you know that moment in the movies when everything goes still and you know they're falling for each other?"

"Sure, classic rom-com stuff. I'm surprised you know about that though," Steve teased but his smile faded when he caught sight of Eddie's expression. "What is it?"

"I'm falling for you, Steve. Like, hard." Eddie looked down again, picking at one of his nails nervously. "I-I don't really know how to explain it but I feel so much for you and I want to tell you yet the words get stuck on the way out and-" He stopped as Steve covered his hand, preventing him from destroying his nail. "It's so fucking scary."

"I know. I'm kinda terrified too." Steve lifted his hand and kissed the back of it. "I don't wanna lose you, Eds. I think it'd break me."

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise." Eddie couldn't imagine being without Steve now. He never wanted to know what that would feel like. "You and me, yeah?"

"Yeah." Steve kissed his hand again and sighed deeply. "You mean everything to me."

Eddie lay down on his side again, resting his chin on Steve's chest. "You asked earlier what I did? I tried fingering myself, wanted to know what it felt like."

Steve looked down at him in surprise before back up at the ceiling. Eddie could see the grin he was failing to hide slowly pulling at his lips. "How was it?"

"Good. Maybe one day I can try it on you."

"I'd like that." Steve started playing with his hair again and after a moment, chuckled. "I can't believe you bought a gay sex book. Where did you even find it?"

"Sex shop in Indianapolis. Got some other stuff too."

"What?"

Eddie grinned and kissed his chest. "You'll have to wait and see, pretty boy."