August 4th, 2024
Ava's POV
I stared at the calendar on my phone standing in my boyfriend's living room. August 4th…Angel would have been 3 around now. Today was the due date 3 years ago. At the end of this month, Auggie will be turning 15.
Baily walked through the door holding her and Andy's 4-month-old son, Euphorious.
"Hey, Ava," she greeted me.
I didn't answer. My eyes were focused on Euphorious.
"You okay?" Baily asked me, with concern in her voice.
"I just…I…would you excuse me?" I questioned. "I need to get away from…"
I didn't finish my sentence.
I hurried out of Auggie's apartment. I left the complex. I decided to walk to Central Park. I sat down on a bench. A few minutes went by, then I heard a child scream with joy. I looked around and saw some little kids playing. My heart sunk even more. Then, I went to social media to try to distract myself. I saw posts by the Jonas Brothers, as well as KC and Baily, of their kids. I went home and just laid on my bed. I started crying. My salty tears made their way to my ears. I turned on my side and allowed my tears to drip onto my pillow.
Auggie's POV
I walked out of my room and down the hall. When I reached my living room, I only saw Baily and Euphorious. Andy is preparing to start college at NYU in a couple of weeks. Baily is going to be a junior.
"Where's Ava?" I questioned.
"I don't know," Baily admitted. "She looked at us weird, then left."
"How long ago did she leave?"
"An hour, I think," Baily replied.
"I'm gonna go see if she's at her apartment," I said. "We only have an hour until the concert."
"By the way, when are your parents getting home?" Baily asked. "They're watching Euphorious."
"They should be home in a few minutes," I answered her.
Ava's POV
I held my stuffed dog in a cradling position. My eyes shifted to my ceiling.
"Why did you take Angel, God?" I questioned Him. "What did I do?"
I heard a knock at my front door. I just held my stuffy closer. I figured that if it was someone important, they would just come in. I heard my front door open and heard my boyfriend's voice.
"Ava, are you here?"
"Auggie," I said in a slightly raised tone.
He was in my room in mere seconds.
"What's going on?" He inquired.
I took in a struggled breath.
"I don't want…I can't…" I said, trying my best to find my words. "I saw Euphorious, then there were little kids at the park, then people were posting about their kids online too…" I looked at him. "It was just too much."
"Do you know why you were triggered?" He asked.
"Angel would've been 3 around now…"
"Today was…?" He started to ask.
"My due date…"
"If you don't want to go to the Taylor Swift concert, we don't have to," he assured me.
"No, I want to," I told him.
I wiped my tears and he helped me pick out an outfit. Auggie, Baily, KC and I went to the concert.
Auggie's POV
I wrapped Ava in my arms when Taylor played "Bigger Than The Whole Sky". She sang along and by the end, you could hear the pain in her and Taylor's voices.
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye
You were bigger than the whole sky
You were more than just a short time
And I've got a lot to pine about
I've got a lot to live without
I'm never gonna meet
What could've been, would've been
What should've been you
Ava's POV
I pondered on the song as I sang along. I know that Taylor doesn't do anything coincidentally, and have known for the last almost 2 years that it happened when she was 19, when she was with John Mayer…but I never thought about the fact that her baby would have been around Auggie's age by now if she hadn't lost him or her. I could hear the pain still in her voice, especially in the end.
We got to meet her after the show and both KC and I told her that we relate to that song. Taylor gave a heartfelt condolence to both of us. She decided to take a picture with only us, then one with the whole group. She then told us that it'll get easier, but that it still hurts sometimes, as it kept her up the night she wrote the song.
Before we left, I asked if Joe is understanding with all she's been through. She said that he's helped her with her healing by being all she's ever wanted and that they love each other immensely.
I looked over at Auggie and smiled.
We went back to his place and we ended up falling asleep watching a movie. I woke up, lying on his chest with his arms around me. I nuzzled more into him, accidentally waking him up.
"You okay?" He asked me.
"Yeah," I said. "As long as I have you, I'll be okay."