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Having looked forward to the start of term so much, Lily knew from the events on the train that it would be nothing like what she had hoped for all summer.
The first evidence she had was in Potions class, the only one she now shared with Sev. In the third and fourth years they also went to the Care of Magical Creatures elective together, she convinced him to enroll because it was the other subject that Gryffindor and Slytherin attended at the same time, but Sev was not too attracted to it, and given the extra work that supposed the OWLs decided to leave it.
They had always sat together in the dungeon classroom despite being from different houses, since Professor Slughorn was very tolerant in these matters and considered them his best students, letting them collaborate.
The truth is that they complemented each other perfectly. Sev was able to improve recipes by slightly modifying them by sheer intuition, while Lily was extremely meticulous and skillful in preparing ingredients and following procedures. They both learned from each other and enjoyed the subject enormously, and this had brought them even closer together.
But that first Wednesday in September, when she entered the Potions room, he was not sitting in his usual place in the first row from the left, but in the second from the right, next to the corridor that separated the two blocks of banks.
She wasn't surprised, she already sensed that this year he wouldn't sit with her. What she didn't expect was the pang in her chest when she saw Parkinson sitting next to him, one of the prettiest snakes, with long, shiny black hair, green eyes, and porcelain skin, slender and almost the same stature than Sev. They made such a good couple that they almost looked like brothers.
Lily suffered then, for the first time in her life, the lacerating bite of the jealousy.
Meanwhile, Cecile, with whom she had come to class, said cheerfully. "That's great, there's room in the first bench for both of us, this year we'll sit together." And she moved ahead of Lily as she took her hand, dragging her to Sev's old place, in the corner by the narrow hallway.
As they approached the benches, he glanced at her, but she didn't be able to say hello in shock, and he didn't either.
Moments later Remus arrived followed by the other three and she saw him take a quick look around the room, looking for a place to sit. The second bench behind her was free, that's where he headed, and Lily realized that he had sensed her situation when he passed by her and put his hand on her shoulder and whispered, "Calm down…"
He stood behind her, separated from Sev by the aisle, and she was very grateful, for he had prevented Potter, who was hurrying to the other end of the bench with a smirk, from occupying that gap, taking away the opportunity to annoy either her or Sev.
But she was wrong, because after a few seconds she heard his arrogant voice and in a very loud tone for the whole class to hear, "This year you no longer sit with your greasy friend, Evans? If I had known, I would have come earlier to save a place for you next to me."
She felt herself flush with rage to the roots of her hair. She held back, holding on with both hands to the edge of the table, while she heard Remus, angry and under his breath, "Leave her alone, James, you're always bothering her."
"But if she would love it, she prefers me a thousand times over Snivellus, otherwise she would still sit with him, right, Evans?" the glasses answered in the same high and satisfied tone.
This time she couldn't take it anymore and was on the verge of turning around to give him a good cut in front of everyone, but Slughorn had just entered the classroom waving happily and she missed the opportunity.
She thought about how Sev would have taken it. In previous years, when Potter went too far, he barely contained his anger and she always managed to calm him down by reminding him that she hated Potter, and even making a joking comment at his expense they would end up chuckling.
But now they no longer had each other to support. She turned slowly to see him. He was focused looking straight ahead, probably at the blackboard, where the teacher was making the ingredients of the potion they would prepare that day appear with a pass.
But out of the corner of her eye she saw that Mulciber, who was sitting with Avery in the back row of Slytherin, behind Sev, was looking at her, and she turned quickly, not out of fear, but in fear of compromising him.
She felt between two fires. At least Sev seemed unaffected, perhaps he was better off with his pretty mate.
She spent the next two hours sensing Potter's presence as a threat, but especially Sev's less than six feet behind her, eliciting only a brief enigmatic glance and half smile from him as he passed her returning from the cupboard where the necessary ingredients to make the potions were kept.
After her worst class of the subject to date, in which she got a goop worthy of the future Neville Longbottom, she seriously considered that she should learn to control herself. She was very responsible and a perfectionist and could not let this affect her studies.
At the end of the school year they would have the OWLs, in a couple of days she was scheduled with Professor McGonagall for a meeting in which she would inform her of the necessary qualifications to take the NEWT required in her future profession.
Although she was attracted to the job of mediwitch since she healed Sev that afternoon, she didn't see herself working day after day in a hospital surrounded by sick people, she was too sensitive to suffering.
So she hadn't decided anything yet, so she had to get as many Outstandings as possible, which until now hadn't meant much effort for her.
On the other hand, she had to find a way to keep in touch with Sev. They hadn't spoken to each other since the Express, when before they had always been together, studying at the Library and in their spare time. She would find some excuse to spend time with him, even if it was sneaking around. She was sure that if she came up with some good plan, he wouldn't refuse.
And finally… how to get rid of Potter? He harassed them equally whether she confronted him or pretended to ignore him. This seemed the most difficult to her, and she appealed again to Remus, since he had defended her.
"Couldn't you try to stop him?" she told him during lunch.
"You know I do, Lily, but he's dead set on you, you've already seen this morning he don't listen to me."
Remus thought for a while with his head down, his elbow on the table, his cheek on his hand. She didn't understand how the tender little wolf could get together with the other three morons.
"Maybe I can prevent him from sitting so close to you," he spoke at last. "And you could go into class at the same time as Slughorn, so he won't have time to harass you."
"And Sev?"
Remus made a dismissive gesture. "Snape is already hardened, we've been harassing him for four years, insults slip him whenever you're not involved. And they will not dare to attack him with spells in class, they would be faced with the other snakes. And when they get used to not seeing you with him, they will surely leave him alone."
'But then I'll give Potter hope and he'll weigh me down even more,' she thought, but it seemed acceptable. Even if she had to put up with it, she would keep Sev from having a hard time.
Regarding the other issues pressing her, she came up with a brilliant idea that killed two birds with one stone, inspired by Sev's quest to be a DADA teacher. She could aspire to be a Potions teacher.
Slughorn had let them know, at some Slug Club meeting, that he was about to retire. "Take advantage guys, you won't have much time with me, maybe you will be one of my last promotions." Maybe if he stayed on until she finished her aprenticeship… Because she couldn't be a teacher until three years after finishing school, Sev had informed her of that.
She already fantasized imagining the two of them living together in the castle, as respected teachers and not as students cornered between two fronts. And for now she would have an excuse to ask him for help with the subject and they would continue studying together.
So she went to her Head of House, proposing her option with great confidence.
Professor McGonagall responded, "I think it's a wonderful choice, Miss Evans. I know that Professor Slughorn holds you in high esteem and will be delighted to mentor you and have you replace him when the time comes. And even if this is not the case, it is an excellent profession. I already know that it is not necessary for me to remind you not to neglect the rest of the subjects necessary for NEWT that you must take. You are an excellent student and I am sure that you will reach the required level."
Later she had informed her of the qualifications that she had to obtain in the OWLs. Outstanding in Potions, of course, but also in Herbology. Exceeds Expectations in Charms, which she was good at, and in DADA. And Acceptable in Ancient Runes, which luckily was one of her electives.
'DADA? For what?' Although she had never lowered the required mark, it was the one she had least confidence in, but not because of herself, but because the teachers they had had, changing every year, left much to be desired, and the OWLs were qualified by a tribunal external to the school.
But as she closed the office door behind her, thinking that her idea might not be so bright, she was suddenly struck with inspiration. 'What a fool I am! But if Sev is an expert! Better than any teacher we've ever had. One more excuse to spend time together.' She wondered why she had never asked him for help in this subject until now. Perhaps because she was carried away by the accusations of those of her house that his interest was not Defense, but the Dark Arts themselves. Perhaps they were partially right, but he had always justified himself by claiming that you needed to know the enemy in order to fight them and that if he ever used spells it was to defend himself. And that was absolutely true, as far as she knew, he had never been the first to provoke a duel, rather he always tried to avoid the Gryffindors, he only faced them when they cornered him and he had no other choice.
She thought all of this as she bounced down the hall at how happy she was. Now she would only have to propose it to him and together they would find a way to see each other, in the castle there were many empty classrooms where they could hide. She hoped to tell him as soon as she found him alone, but it wasn't that easy.
Various situations arose when they passed each other in the corridors between classes. If they were both accompanied, he by the snakes and she by the girls, he simply raised his eyebrows at her when she looked at him. If she was in a group and he was alone, he would do the same unless she greeted him first, "Hello, Sev" "How are you, Lily?", with no intention of stopping his long strides.
On one such occasion she caught him in midair by the sleeve of his robe. "I have to talk to you."
"I can't now, Lily," looking at the other girls, who had stopped waiting for her. "I'm late for class."
In the Great Hall, where they still sat almost facing each other, she would try to wave at him when their eyes met and the other two were distracted, but Sev quickly looked away from her without showing that he had understood her gesture.
She spent long hours in the Library, on the back bench, the one they used to share in previous years whenever it was free, hoping that he would be the one to look for her, and since that didn't work either, she got used to walking around the castle alone, something which she did not usually do, in case she happened to find him alone too, but it did not happen.
When on these occasions she saw him from afar, accompanied by one or more Slytherins, he made a warning gesture, widening his eyes and shaking his head, and then made them turn down another corridor or retrace their steps, preventing them from cross with each other. The third time this happened, it was she herself who turned around, walked away from them without looking back, and did not try it again.
At least in Potions class there was no repetition of the embarrassing spectacle offered by Potter on the first day. Remus came to class early with Pettigrew ahead of the other two and always sat behind her with Peter next to him. Lily appeared just in time and she waited for Slughorn to enter the classroom. During class she would ask the little wolf in a whisper if they had bothered Sev in her absence and he always answered no, but she didn't quite believe it, maybe Remus was just trying to reassure her.
Three weeks passed like this, next Saturday, the first of autumn, there would be a trip to Hogsmeade. They had almost always gone to town together, spending their time wandering around, and sometimes they even took the opportunity to stay in the almost empty castle because neither of them liked the crowds or the atmosphere of the taverns.
It seemed to her that she couldn't pass up this opportunity to be alone at last, and she was about to pass him a note in Potions class or send him an owl, but both options seemed risky and she feared that he might ignore her, since he was clearly making no effort to meet her.
On Thursday night she saw him get up alone during dinner and go to the door of the Great Hall. She whispered to Remus, who now always sat next to her. "I have to go, give them an excuse."
The little wolf looked towards Sev's place and then towards the door, through which he was already leaving, and nodded. "Go easy, Lily," he told her in the same tone.
She was already getting up, leaving her dessert unfinished on her plate. She refrained from rushing as she headed for the exit, but as soon as she closed the heavy door behind her she broke into a run down the corridor that led to the dungeon stairs, fearing that she might not catch up with his quick pace or simply he had not taken that way, because he was no longer to be seen.
As she reached the last turn of the spiral staircase, descending the steps two at a time, she finally saw the black silhouette on the last few steps.
"Sev! Wait!" she shouted in a low voice.
He turned with the speed of lightning. "Lily! What are you doing here?"
She could barely make out his features in the dim light, but his tone was surprised and alarmed.
"I had... to talk... with you…" she gasped, catching her breath, now descending at a normal pace the distance that separated them, standing a rung above him, face to face.
"Let's see, tell me what's the matter." He was trying to be casual, but he showed that he was alert, glancing quickly up the stairs behind her and slipping his right hand, with an almost imperceptible movement, into the pocket of his robe.
'What's the matter? I could tell him so many things…' But having sensed his alarm and knowing he wouldn't give her much time, she got to the point. "Are you going to Hogsmeade on Saturday?"
"I don't think. Why?"
"Do you want us to go to study at the Library?"
He did not answer.
"Or somewhere else..."
He continued in silence, although she barely appreciated the look on his face in the dim light, she felt him struggle, hesitate. She feared that he would refuse.
"It's been a long time since we talked…" she begged him.
He still took a few seconds to respond. He sighed deeply. "Okay… Saturday at the Library."
She had achieved it, she didn't need more. She would be leaving soon, it hurted her to see him agitated and she didn't want to give him a chance to back down. But she felt such joy that without thinking and after saying, "Until Saturday, Sev," she planted a kiss on his cheek.
She couldn't see how he stood there, still, bringing his hand to his face, slowly caressing the imprint of her kiss.
She headed toward her house, climbing eight flights of stairs and still bouncing through the corridors, happy. Arriving at the portrait of the Fat Lady, she realized that in the urgency and emotion of the moment, they had not agreed on what time they would meet. 'Never mind, I'll wait for him all day if necessary.'
She was glad there was no one in the Common Room and headed straight for her bedroom, lying on the bed fully clothed, arms behind her head.
She slowly stopped smiling, bringing her fingers to her lips. She had noticed another oversight, this one perhaps more serious.
She should have given him, that kiss, on his mouth.