Notes:

TW: Emily Prentiss's (fake) death in Season 6, Episode 18 "Lauren"
Tissues are advised.

"Spencer? what's up?"

"Emily-… she's in surgery." Reid just managed to say, watching Garcia and Morgan across the waiting room. "It doesn't look good."

"Where?"

"Boston."

"What can I do?"

"Just… stay on the phone. until we get news? Liv, I don't… I don't know what to do, there's nothing I can do right now and…"

"Yeah, I'm here."

He heard something rustling in the background and then the audio changed.

"I've got you plugged in now, so whatever you need, just ask."

"Could you… could you sing something?"

"Of course."

He leaned back in the uncomfortable waiting room seat and closed his eyes. Minutes dragged to hours, and three passed before anything really changed.

"They're coming back, I'll talk to you later." Reid said, reading the redness of JJ's face, the tightness around Hotch's mouth as they approached the rest of the team in the waiting room. Worry and pain.

Bad news.

Spencer- She's gone. We're bringing her home tomorrow.

Olivia- When will you be landing?

Spencer- 4pm, but it's the military airstrip, they won't let you in.

Olivia- I'll wait outside.

She didn't interfere, didn't even approach the team as they walked behind the heavy box to the waiting hearse. Didn't speak as the group split in different directions to waiting vehicles. Reid saw the car carry Emily away and waited for everyone else to clear out before he turned back to see Olivia still standing beside her truck, watching him.

He broke into a jog and she caught him in a tight hug.

Hot tears splashed onto the dark blouse, and he balled his fists in the back of the jacket she wore as the pain tore through him, the reality he'd been unable to face for the last 24 hours just beginning to break through. His legs trembled, but Olivia steadied him, still silent as the blood pounded in his ears.

He didn't know how long they stood there.

Time.

What did it matter in moments like this? The world could not still be spinning through space, not when everything had crashed to a halt for him. Not when that one long flat beep had ended everything for Emily.

Words. Words would come later, but for now, Olivia followed his mute prompting without question, driving him home, seeing him settled in his apartment, and holding his hand as day passed into night. Her farewell was one final gentle pressure on his hand, a wave, her phone raised as one final reminder that he could call anytime.

Silence, screaming silence. Endless empty nothingness and so dense, like darkness made material, Shadow and smoke made tangible. It pressed him, the silence, pressed him to his pillow though he could not sleep.

"Spence?" JJ opened the front door, tucking her housecoat more tightly around herself. "What are you doing here?"

"My apartment, the uh, neighbors were being loud and I couldn't sleep, I thought…"

"Come in."

Will welcomed him before disappearing back down the hall, and JJ listened, rubbing his back and talking him through the next steps; the autopsy had been expedited and there was a tentative date for the funeral planned, apparently burial wishes had been noted somewhere in Emily's files and JJ was making arrangements with a funeral home and the cemetery.

"Burial? She told me she wanted to be cremated." Reid asked through tears.

"She must have changed her mind." JJ suggested. "Her instructions were quite specific, and I'm doing everything I can to respect them."

"I know, and I know you'll manage everything…" He broke down again, gasping for air until footsteps in the hall reminded him that they were not alone. "I didn't wake Henry, did I?

Will leaned on the doorframe and answered quietly, "no, he's just fine, but its pretty late and both of you need sleep, I've made up the guest room."

"Thank you."

Will nodded and wrapped an arm around JJ, who turned to look back at Reid. "G'night."

"Night." He said to the dark as he lay on a bed that was not his, in a home that was not his.

A family, whole and entire, slept peacefully in their respective rooms down the hall.

They gathered on the green, green grass, under a brilliant blue sky.

All in black carrying flowers all in white.

Hotch and JJ, Rossi and Seaver, Penelope and Morgan. And Reid, standing around the lacquered sarcophagus of a woman they loved and had lost, saying a final farewell.

His white rose laid, Reid turned and walked away, rubbing his eyes to hide the emotion there and watching his feet. Someone fell into step beside him, the edge of a calf-length black dress swirling in his peripheral vision. Not looking up, he extended his hand to his silent companion, and she took it, lacing her fingers with his. When they had walked far enough from the few remaining mourners, he pointed to a bench and they sat side-by-side.

"Thanks for coming." He said, and was answered with a squeeze. "You never actually met her, did you?"

"No, I never had that honor."

"She was… she was kind, thoughtful. She noticed things, checked up on me, and she never made me feel like a child."

"She sounds wonderful."

"She is- she was… you would have liked her, and she would have loved you." he huffed a bitter laugh, "I could have introduced you, but I was afraid… I was afraid you'd like her so much; you'd forget about me."

"That was never going to happen Spencer."

"Rossi invited everyone back to his place, for drinks." He cleared his throat, not knowing why he was suddenly nervous. "will you go with me?"

Her face asked the question.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"I'd love to." Liv said simply.

Reid dropped her hand as soon as they were in view of the others waiting for them on the patio and she gave him an encouraging half-smile before they stepped through the doors together.

"Reid, Olivia, you came!" Penelope said exuberantly, but her face fell almost immediately and her face twisted in pain as she found her hands clasped in Olivia's. "You came."

"Can I give you a hug?" Olivia asked.

Penelope opened her arms wide and crumbled into Olivia's shoulder as she closed the embrace. When they finally parted, both wiped tears away and Liv offered Penelope a tissue from the stash that lay neatly folded in the pocket of her dress.

"I knew it! I just knew you'd be a good hugger! Derek, you've got to hug Derek, he's the best hugger I know, and he needs it as much as I do, maybe more." Garcia said, rambling and teary and pushing Olivia at Derek who stood nearby.

Olivia resisted, seeing the pulse of the vein in his over-tense jaw and offering him her hand instead.

Derek took her hand and gradually made himself meet her eyes. There was pain in them, raw and real and just below the surface, a reflection of his own or a representation of hers, it didn't really matter which. It was like that deep well, and he knew: she knew. He pulled her into a hug, dropping his chin to her shoulder and shutting his eyes tight as the tears leaked out.

He had been holding things at the brink of together for nearly two weeks, held Garcia as she wept, he'd been a pillar for Reid whenever the younger man had lifted his head out of his work long enough to acknowledge him. Derek Morgan was the strong one. He'd not been on the receiving end of that strength, until now. There was no quiver of weakness in her as she took a half step back and braced herself to take more of his weight and he felt Penelope's hand on his back and for a moment, he felt safe.

Safe enough to break.

"Told you." Penelope said softly as he released Olivia and accepted the tissue she tucked discreetly into his palm.

A tall, solemn looking man approached her as Morgan and Garcia moved away to a low couch. "Aaron Hotchner, I wish we were meeting under different circumstances."

"Olivia, and likewise." She matched the pressure of his hand with a sincere smile dimmed by the occasion.

He nodded and looked to where Reid was talking to Rossi across the backyard bar. "I wanted to thank you, for being here for Reid. I know he'd be handling it a lot worse if he didn't have you."

"A good support system makes a big difference, but a loss like this, it still takes a toll." Olivia said, her eyes not leaving Hotch's face.

Hotch frowned at her for a moment, wondering if it was Reid she meant. "Yes, it does."

"I'm very sorry for your loss." She said, looking through him it seemed, a tightening around the eyes that worried him and then she tilted her head as though he was a new creature to be studied and she had discovered an oddity she hadn't expected.

"Thank you." Hotch answered stiffly, directing her attention from himself with a gesture towards the others, "have you been introduced to JJ and Will, or Dave?"

"Not yet."

"Allow me." He led the way to a blond in the corner of the patio holding tightly to the hand of a man who looked solemn and slightly out of place. "Olivia Bernard, Jennifer Jareau, William LaMontagne."

Will put his hand out first, "I'd say it's a pleasure to meet you..."

"But not like this, I understand." Olivia turned to JJ and said, "my condolences to all of you, losing a friend... I won't pretend to understand how difficult it is."

JJ nodded an acknowledgement of her words and walked away to speak to Hotch.

Olivia looked out on the gathered group, watching the interactions between these people who were more than just a team, they were a family.

"Makes you feel like you don't really belong here, doesn't it?" Will asked quietly, "its special, what they have, but it also makes it hard for them to let new people in."

"Yeah." Olivia nodded looking across the patio to JJ and Hotch and back to Will who was looking at her. "I know you're not on the team, but you should know, they do see you as one of them."

"You think so?"

"You heard Hotchner introduce you, there was no space, no hesitation, he sees you and JJ as a unit. Spencer too, he told me how kind you've both been, letting him stay with you, it can't be easy."

"Anything for JJ's family." Will said without reservation.

"I don't know if he's said it yet, but thank you."

"He's very welcome," Will said, raising his bottle in a gesture to point her to the subject of their conversation. "But you're who he's looking for, I think."

She caught the moment Spencer cast a sidelong look at her and she gave him a little wave. He looked from her to the seat beside him meaningfully and she approached the bar with a motion of thanks to Will.

"You must be Olivia." Rossi said the moment she sat down, with a meaningful look at Reid.

"David Rossi." Olivia responded confidently. "I've read a few of your books."

"And…?"

"Fascinating subject matter, and you have an eye for detail."

"But?" he asked, a curious smile on his face. "You have an opinion, I can see, so go on, let me have it, too purple in my prose? Lacking delicacy, too unfeeling? I've heard it all before."

"Are you sure?" Olivia asked with narrowed eyes, and smiled when he nodded. "I have no argument against purple prose, used correctly. You have a strong narrative voice, which given the genre is appropriate, but you don't let the reader breathe. It's a constant climb from beginning to end and the only catharsis is at the finish."

"And what would you suggest?"

"Trimming back the emotive language for the bulk of your chapters. Two, maybe three moments where you draw the audience in, and then just enough of a breather before you build back up to the overlying tension. That way the audience isn't immune to the feeling of suspense before they reach the high point. Your endings are great, but its kind of the frog in the pot situation for the rising action."

"Now that is what I call quality feedback, can I get you something to drink?"

"Is my beverage choice part of the test?" Olivia asked, looking from him to Reid who flashed a smile out the side of his mouth and looked determinately at the glass he was turning in his hands.

"Test?" Rossi inquired.

"I recognize an evaluation when I see one, so, do I pass?"

"Prentiss would have liked you." Rossi chuckled softly, his tone just a little misty and he turned away to hide the emotion, gesturing to a wide collection of spirits, bitters and garnishes. "What'll you have?"

"Mojito, but go easy on the rum? I've got to drive myself home later."

"Plenty of spare rooms upstairs, I know some folks have kids they need to get back to, but the rest are welcome to stay."

"Thank you for the offer, but I've got my own responsibilities at home." Olivia answered the raised brow, "of the canine variety."

"Ah, well, in that case, one light Mojito coming right up."

A few hours later and several people were feeling the effects of too much alcohol, too little appetite and the exhaustion of the day's events. JJ was flushed and hanging on Will's arm, Penelope was draped across Derek and cycling between long hyper-speed rambles and longer terrible silences when Emily came up in her conversation cutting her off mid-stream.

Olivia stayed close to Reid, but respected his silent request not to touch him.

He wanted to hold her hand, wanted to be as free as Morgan and Garcia with the physical affection, missed the comfort of feeling someone's pulse against his fingers so he could believe he wasn't just trapped in a terrible dream. But he didn't want to answer awkward questions later and had already felt JJ's eyes on them whenever Olivia strayed too close.

"Let me get you a refill." He said quickly just for the excuse of increasing the space between them and putting his hand out to take Olivia's glass.

"Oh, no, I'm fine." Her finger tips were white on the glass and he looked at her properly for the first time.

She always had excellent posture, a result of so many hours in the saddle, and no stranger looking at her now would have seen anything other than a confident, attractive woman in a lovely, demure black dress. But her left foot had pressed to the floor the moment he'd offered her another drink.

He leaned back, closer to her than he'd allowed himself to be all night and passed a hand over his face to cover for whispering in her ear, "Sorry Liv, I wasn't thinking."

She answered him with a minute shake of the head and he spoke to her again, not bothering to hide it this time, JJ could speculate all she wanted, he was more concerned for Liv at the moment. "How about I get you some soda water, or would you rather go home?"

"I'm here for as long as you want me to be, sparkling water would be great, thanks." She answered as quietly, with a grateful smile.

He returned and passed her a glass that had a fresh sprig of mint and slice of lime at the bottom, the tiny bubbles rising to the surface the only clue that it was any different from the drink she'd been nursing all night.

"Thanks."

Reid touched her arm as he reseated himself and answered her questioning look with a weak smile of his own.

JJ stood up and smoothed down her skirt, "I think its time for Will and I to go, Thank you Rossi, for everything." She gave Reid a significant look as she collected her things, "Spence, do you still want a ride?"

The group began to fracture almost immediately, as though someone had given them permission to leave. Derek- helping Penelope into the house, Rossi- receiving everyone's thanks. Hotch left first, and then Will and JJ with Reid. He waved back at Olivia as she followed them outside and watched him get in the back of their car.

She drove herself home wondering about the dynamic between Reid and JJ. Not jealousy, but something like possessiveness, and she wasn't the only one in the group. Hotch looked at Liv like an unknown he wanted to dissect, Rossi quizzed her but had seemed satisfied with his analysis, even Penelope and Derek had confronted her previously about her intentions, though both had softened in time.

Clearly, they all cared about Reid, but she wondered if there wasn't a hint of skepticism there too, not trusting his judgement. According to Reid, Emily had been the only one to treat him like an adult since Gideon had left, the rest seemed not to believe capable of making the right decisions on his own.

But there was something else, something about JJ, and Hotchner too, that just didn't feel quite right, Olivia thought, something off. Spencer knew them better than she did though, and he was smarter and had known them much longer.

If he didn't confide any misgivings, she wouldn't be the first to cast doubt.

Notes:

How're you feeling about this chapter?
True to character?
JJ is going to be a little difficult for the next couple of chapters, but in this story we deny the existence of any season 14 declarations, so any perceived jealousy isn't romantic in nature, but rather a protectiveness over Reid as the youngest member of the team and her friend.

Also: I haven't been able to see any updated stats for this story since mid February, so drop a comment with the name of your favorite character in the comments so I know you're still reading!

(Mine is obviously Spencer Reid)