Chapter 30

"So… you remember?" Cass rests her elbows on the railing in front of her, leaning into it. She gazes outward over the balcony, overlooking the farmland in front of Varian's lab.

"Yeah," Rapunzel sighs next to her, also looking out below. The gentle breeze that blows her hair back is refreshing, after being in that bedroom for so long.

The boys are all inside, leaving the two of them out here alone. There's a closed door behind them on the small circular balcony, leading back into the building.

The sky has cleared up, with only a few gray clouds rolling in front of the morning sun. The air is thick and humid, still holding the smell of rain.

From the second floor, the view of this place is stunning. They see the distant forest beyond the fields, and the endless protruding pine trees that stretch toward the ocean. The coastline is visible along the horizon, blue ripples glistening in the sunlight. Silhouettes of birds soar over the water, appearing like mere specks from this distance.

"Everything?" Cass swallows nervously, a part of her dreading the answer.

The last time they had seen each other, Rapunzel didn't even remember her. And the time before that, they'd argued about Cassandra bringing her back home. Cass hasn't been able to stop thinking about it since it happened.

"Some of it is still a little blurry," explains Rapunzel, also resting her arms on top of the railing. "But I remember finding you. And… our fight." She looks away awkwardly.

Cassandra lowers her head too. She busies herself with fiddling with her gloves in front of her, neither of them wanting to look at the other.

It had been the last interaction they'd had since Donovan took her, and the first since Rapunzel had escaped Corona.

A part of Cass had hoped that Rapunzel wouldn't remember, solely because it would make all of this easier. Maybe then they could go back to the start, before Cass ever joined the guard. Before they ever stopped being friends. They could pretend that none of it even happened, and maybe then everything could be better between them.

But if Rapunzel never gained her memories back, if she had died, or if Cass never came back, that would've been the last memory Cassandra would have had of her.

She wouldn't be able to live with herself if that were the case – knowing that she had hurt Rapunzel so badly. They would've never seen each other again, and all Cass would be left with is the guilt.

But that's just the way it's always been between them, hasn't it? Rapunzel left. She moved on, while Cassandra was still at the castle, dwelling on what once was. Cass should be used to it by now.

"Is that why you're here?" Rapunzel asks. "To take me back to the castle?"

Cass inhales deeply, "Actually… I quit the guard."

Rapunzel looks over at her, confused. "What?"

"This morning."

That had been the last thing she'd expected to hear. "Why? I thought you wanted to be a guard. You worked so hard for it."

"I know, but… this entire thing has just made me realize that I was never really doing it for me. it was all for my father. I only went on this mission because I wanted him to be proud of me. I was ready to do anything, even if that meant capturing you. but when it really came down to it, I just… couldn't do it."

Rapunzel finds herself at a loss for words. She didn't know any of that. She never even thought of it that way.

But she knows better than anyone how badly Cassandra wanted to be a guard, or… thought she did. She can't help but feel like there's something else Cass isn't saying. Something must have happened to make her change her mind.

"You helped save me… didn't you?" Rapunzel slowly realizes.

Cassandra shrugs. "I'd give most of the credit to your goatee counterpart," she smirks briefly, "But yeah. I may have had something to do with it."

Eugene had said a lot happened while Rapunzel was memory wiped, and not to worry about it. Maybe he's right. Maybe knowing everything would stress her out too much right now. But she can't help but ask, "What happened?"

Cass thinks about that, wondering where to even begin. "Well… long story short, we tracked Donovan down. Located the ship you were on. Lance helped us get onboard, and that's when the fight broke out. It all went wrong, but… we made it out after that. That's all that matters."

Rapunzel hadn't realized all three of them had helped her. And Varian too. It seems they all went through a lot just for her. She can't help but feel guilty for that.

Still, it sounds like there's more to it. Maybe pushing that onto Cassandra right now isn't the best idea. Rapunzel supposes she'll hear all about it in due time.

"Well… thank you," she says. "And I'm sorry. For everything. I didn't know you felt that way about being a guard."

Cass continues to stare down at her own wrists hanging over the railing, letting out a scoff. "Yeah," she mumbles, "Why would you?"

"Cass…"

"No, it's fine," she raises her hand, immediately regretting saying that. "Forget I said anything."

Rapunzel falls silent.

After a few moments, Cass sighs heavily, "You have your own life now… and I have mine. It isn't your problem, anyway."

"But it is," insists Rapunzel. "Just because we haven't seen each other in a long time, that doesn't erase the twenty years that we've known each other. And it doesn't mean that I don't still care about you." She stands straight, pushing herself off the railing. Her fingertips remain on the surface of it, "Cassandra, there wasn't a day that went by where I didn't think about you. It hurt me to have to leave, but you know why I couldn't stay there."

"I know. I just… have a lot of problems," Cass mutters, feeling ridiculous for saying any of this. She wishes she didn't feel this way. It's pathetic. "I just need to get over myself, that's all. Work it out on my own."

But Rapunzel sees all the pain in Cassandra's eyes without Cass even having to look up at her. She hears it in her voice – all the years she had spent in isolation and misery, hating herself for wanting to be loved, by Rapunzel, by her father.

It hurts Rapunzel all the same to learn that Cass was going through all of this, and she didn't even know. Because she hadn't been there.

"I thought you would be okay without me," Rapunzel snivels.

Because Cass is strong, and she doesn't ever let anything bother her. It's one of the things Rapunzel admires so much about her – why she had looked up to her for their entire lives, like any younger sister would.

"It's okay, really," insists Cass. She wasn't saying it to make Rapunzel feel bad. She didn't mean for them to talk about any of this. She should've never opened her mouth in the first place. "It's my own fault, anyway. You asked me to go with you and I said no. It's like you said, I'm the one who told you to leave."

And all Rapunzel can do is stare at her, her heart breaking from having to see her like this.

"In any case, I'm the one who should be apologizing," Cass continues. "I should've never come here looking for you in the first place. I know you went through a lot to escape, and I had no right to try to bring you back, so… I understand if you never wanna see me again after this."

"Don't be ridiculous. Of course, I do," assures Rapunzel. "I know you were just doing your job. And I didn't want you to think that I wasn't happy for you for becoming a guard, because I was. I just hoped the next time we saw each other would have been… on different circumstances."

Despite everything, Cass feels her lips tugging into a faint smirk to learn that Rapunzel does understand, as much as she thought she hadn't. "Me too."

An awkward silence falls between them again, where neither are sure what to say anymore. Cass stares blankly out at the ocean, with Rapunzel following her gaze.

After a while, Rapunzel hesitantly asks, "How's mom?"

She almost doesn't want to know. Because she's already aware how much it pained her mother the night she fled the kingdom. But still, she has to ask.

Honestly, Cassandra isn't sure what she would've done without Arianna, during these past two years. Cass never had a mother growing up. But that's what Arianna was to her. The queen loved the two girls equally, as if they were both her own.

"She misses you," says Cass.

Rapunzel lowers her head, unable to help feeling ashamed – of hurting her own mother in the way that she did, "Yeah." She'd expected that answer. It still pains her to hear it, though.

After Rapunzel left, it brought Arianna and Cassandra closer together. But it broke Cass just as much, to see their mother so sad, when all she had ever done for her and Rapunzel was make sure that they were both happy. Even if that meant sacrificing her own happiness. It's the reason Rapunzel was even able to leave the castle in the first place.

"Things just… weren't the same after you left," confesses Cass. "For either of us."

Rapunzel turns to face her completely, her expression aching. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there."

For the first time since arriving here, Cassandra smiles, genuinely appreciating hearing her say that. "It's okay."

But Rapunzel isn't entirely convinced. Cassandra always does this – always tells everyone she's fine when she's not.

"Besides, it doesn't matter anymore," Cass continues. "I'm not going back there. I'm already a lot happier now that I've left the guard."

Rapunzel's expression lights up at that. "You mean… you're staying?"

Cassandra shrugs, lightening the tone of her voice, "Well, after this whirlwind of an adventure, I don't see the harm in going on a couple more. I think I just… need to be on my own for a bit. See the world. Figure out who I am and all that."

A beaming grin appears on Rapunzel's face, her eyes glistening. "I'm so glad to hear that, Cass." She couldn't be happier for her.

Cassandra smiles too, turning to face her. "So… are we still friends?"

Rapunzel nods. "Of course, we are."

"I, um…" Cass looks away, awkwardly brushing a stray curl behind her ear. "I really missed you, Raps." She can't explain how hard it is for her to admit that, when she had spent so long convincing herself otherwise.

And not just that, but it's good to have the real Rapunzel back, not a memory wiped version of her.

A lump forms in Rapunzel's throat, her eyes watering all over again. It's been a long time since anybody called her that. It reminds her of the way things used to be, back when it was just the two of them against the world, causing trouble in that castle.

Everything had been so simple back then.

Though Rapunzel doesn't miss her home, she misses the memories that came along with it. She's just happy that they aren't saying goodbye yet.

Rapunzel lunges forward and wraps her arms around Cassandra, so forcefully that it causes Cass to stumble back.

After a stunned moment, Cassandra embraces her too, until her fingertips are latching onto Rapunzel's clothes so tightly, as if she's afraid she might just let go.

"I love you, Cass," Rapunzel murmurs next to her ear, letting her eyelids fall closed.

Cass had almost forgotten how affectionate Rapunzel can get. It's one of the things that makes them so opposite from each other. Nevertheless, it makes her smirk.

Though it's hard for her to say the words to anyone, Cassandra has never been so sure of anything as she mumbles over Rapunzel's shoulder, "Yeah… I love you too."