Chapter 15: A Day at the Zoo
Thanks for all the reviews.
This is just a fluff chapter. Then again, that is what the story is, so there is that.
Hphphp
It took an hour and a half to get to the zoo, an hour to get to LA and then a half an hour to find the zoo. Deadpool was riding in front with Happy, who was driving the limo, which was the only car big enough to accommodate them. And even then, Clint and Natasha drove their motorcycles. They kept in radio contact with Tony, via Jarvis, just in case they got separated.
Thor and Loki were not used to riding in cars, and they were not comfortable. They only did so because Ivy looked at them with her puppy dog eyes. She wanted everyone to come to the zoo with her. Thor was the most uncomfortable since he was the tallest. The limo was large, but he was still squished with so many people in it.
The zoo itself was tucked in the inner city. You had to get to downtown and go through an old rundown building to get to the gates. There was a parking garage that the muggles couldn't see, though it was only a small one. There were only enough spaces to park thirty cars and the limo took up three spaces, long ways. Happy had to park along the wall just to be able to fit and get out when they left.
"Come on," Deadpool said, waving them to the stairs. "We have to go to the basement," he explained, moving through the rundown garage as if it was normal for him to be in such a dilapidated place. Ivy was skipping along besides him, making the rest of the team follow along.
Sirius and Remus were unsure about the whole thing. They had never been in such a place before and they held their wands in their sleeves. Tony, Natasha, Clint and Happy were also palming weapons. Thor and Loki were wary, and Pepper was kept in the middle of the crowd as the only non-combatant. Bruce was moments from Hulking out. Steve stuck close to Pepper as the last line of defense.
"Why there?" Natasha wanted to know as she followed the costumed man. She really didn't trust Wade Wilson, but he did have a soft spot for kids, so she didn't think he'd hurt Ivy. She was glancing at every corner of the place. There weren't even any security cameras here.
"The whole thing is underground," Wade said, opening the large door and heading down the dark staircase.
"Mr. Tony, can you carry me?" Ivy asked, holding up her arms to be picked up. It was a long staircase, and it was dark.
"Here, sweetie," Sirius said, raising his wand and sending balls of light into the stairwell. They lit up the place like it was daytime, and everyone sighed in relief. They still kept their weapons handy, but they were feeling much better about being able to see.
Tony still picked up Ivy, so she didn't have to walk down the stairs. They were all surprised when all of them were on the steps that they started moving on their own. It was like an escalator, only a magical one. It only took a magical to step on them to get them to move. So, Sirius and Remus were the ones that got them started.
"That is much better," Pepper said. She had been dreading going down the stairs in her heels. They were low heels, but heels, nonetheless. Comfortable enough to walk in, but not to tread stairs in.
"What do you think is in the zoo?" Ivy asked, thinking about fairies, unicorns and dragons.
"Probably the normal animals," Tony answered, looking to Sirius and Remus. "Elephants, zebras, giraffes, and such," he named off a few.
"I haven't a clue," Remus confessed, never having heard of a magical zoo before. "I've never even been to a regular zoo," he added, thinking on the animals that Tony named off and thinking of the magical equivalent. There were some that did correspond with the non-magical kind, but not elephants, or giraffes.
"Probably like Newt Scamander's suitcase," Sirius said, having heard of that work of wonder. "Remember, Remus," he said, nudging his friend in the elbow.
"Probably," Remus agreed, he too thinking the same. "That is more than likely, now that I think about it," he stated, more anxious to see the zoo now. He had always wanted to see Newt's suitcase. There was rumor that the man had a basilisk in there, but it had never been proven.
"What kind of name is Newt?" Tony asked, as he listened to the other Avengers talk behind him about what kind of magical animals there might be, the Asgardians chiming in on the kinds of creatures there were on Asgard.
Loki seemed quiet about some of the animals. Like when Thor mentioned the eight-legged horse, Loki shut right up and was melancholy. Tony wondered about that. He had heard stories as a kid about Loki, but he didn't know if they were true. He'd ask him about it later.
They got to the bottom of the stairs and the steps stopped moving. They were at the gates, which were huge and wrought in silver. There was a large sign on top that proclaimed that this was Malcolm's Zoo, One of a Kind. There were three ticket booths and all of them had a line of at least ten people. Where they had come from was anyone's guess. They hadn't met anyone on the stairs, but that must be the muggle entrance.
They finally got into the zoo after a wait for twenty minutes. There had been a small argument over Deadpool's mask, until he pulled it off enough to show his face and the ticketer decided that he could keep it on, for fear he may scare the other customers, or animals.
The entrance of the zoo was like any other, with a large fountain, but of a hippogriff instead of an elephant or something mundane. There were domes instead of habitats. They shimmered in the sun and you could tell some were filled with water. Different types of water judging from the colors.
Between the domes were sidewalks, which were lined with benches. There were some beverage and snack vendors and small gift shops, with a larger one at the entrance. Trees provided shade and there were fairies and other small magical beings roaming about. They seemed to be working.
Those that were water filled were on the left, those that weren't were on the right. They decided to go right first. They read the program and noted that they would see such things as cerberus', chimaeras, chupacabras, demiguises, diricawls, erumpents, hippogriffs, jackalopes, jarveys, lethifolds, mooncalves, nogtails, occamys, snallygasters, six-legged panda pigs, wampus cats, and pygmy wyverns. Each would be contained in its own biodome, adjusted to their environment.
"It's by no means a full list of what the wizarding world has to offer," Remus said, taking note on what was missing. There were many of the tamer and some of the more dangerous animals missing.
"Yeah, our zoos don't contain all of our species either," Steve said as they approached the demiguise exhibit. "This one looks like a hairy sloth," he commented, peering into the dome. "Or a misshaped ape," he added upon further inspection. He tapped the dome and noted that it was better than a fence to keep the animals in and people out.
The demiguise couldn't see them and was lazily swinging from tree to tree. They were the type of tree that you would find in the far east. He seemed content just swinging along and eating whenever the fancy took him. There were others swinging further in the exhibit, but this one was the closest.
"This is a demiguise," Sirius said, pointing at the sign that showed the name. "They can make themselves invisible, and they can predict the future. They are what we make invisibility cloaks out of," he explained. "The hair is sheered and used to make the cloaks. They only last about ten years or so, and they are quite expensive."
"How expensive?" Tony wanted to know. If he could get his hands on one, he could figure out how to make one of his suits invisible. That would throw people for a loop. Stealth would never be the same.
"You can afford one," Sirius said with a laugh. "Though I doubt they sell them at the gift shop," he stated, laughing some more, causing everyone to laugh with him.
Tony pouted. He'd figure out a way to get one.
The white ape-like creature suddenly looked at them like he could see them and promptly disappeared. Ivy squealed and clapped her hands. The demiguise reappeared and went back to swinging in the trees, like it had done that just to hear Ivy's happy squeal.
"Did you see that?" the adorable little girl asked, waving to the demiguise, who stopped swinging and looked at her again. "I think he can see me in his mind," she squealed again. "Hello, Mr. Demiguise," she said, happily.
"Come on, sweetie, let's go see more animals," Pepper said before the girl adopted the animal.
"Bye, Mr. Demiguise," Ivy said, waving to the ape-like creature, who started swinging the trees again.
They wandered around a bit looking in all the exhibits and discussing the animals inside. Remus was the most educated of the two magicals, so he told them about them more than Sirius did.
"This is quite an exhibit of animals," Tony said as they wandered through the many exhibits. He looked in at the wampus cat and noted it had six legs, but other than that looked like a normal big cat.
"Don't let the looks fool you," Remus said, noting where he was looking. "Take these animals for example, they can read minds and have been known to hypnotize their prey," he explained. He was glad that the animals could not see them. Cats didn't react well to his wolf. Even through the dome, he was setting this one on edge.
"Still, besides the legs, I'd peg it for a normal cougar," Steve said, thinking the same thing as Tony. "A bit bigger than the ones here in America, but still just a big cat."
"You'll find that a lot of magical animals are like that. It's to hide from the muggles," Sirius said, seriously. "Most have ways of escaping and they usually include mind control or death," he added, making sure the mundane among them understood that.
"I've never come across any magical creature," Clint said, having been in quite a few jungles on missions.
"You wouldn't remember if you had," Sirius said, looking him dead in the face.
"I'm not sure I like what you're implying," the archer said, wondering if he was being threatened.
"Like I said, they can defend themselves," the dogman said with a shrug. He wasn't going to tell him of the Obliviators. That was up to Tony or the MACUSA.
"I think I saw a pixie once," Natasha said, thinking of the fairy-like being she had seen in Russia when she was younger. "It was only for a moment and out of the corner of my eye. It was in the draperies," she added, picking up Ivy and showing her the jackalope. It was a funny looking bunny rabbit with antlers.
"Is there anything magical about this one, Sirius?" Ivy asked, making them stop fighting. It was her birthday, and she didn't want them to fight. The adults seemed to fight a lot. It was like they just didn't get along with one another all the time.
"Other then being really good at hiding, no," Sirius said with a smile. "They are magical enough to hide really well, and they are used in wands, but that is all they are good for," he added, taking her from Natasha.
"Oh, well, they are really cute," she said, turning those eyes towards Tony, who promptly turned the other direction. Ivy giggled her new giggle, and everyone laughed at Tony.
"You are getting better at that, friend Tony," Thor boomed, clapping the man on the back.
"It's self-defense," Tony muttered. He had to stay strong, or he'd wind up with the entire zoo.
"I want to see the dragons," Deadpool said, heading to where he knew the dragons were. It was at the far end of the zoo, where the larger domes were. There were only three there, and they got to see the occamy, the snallygaster, and the pygmy wyvern.
The occamy was Ivy's favorite, it looked like a fairy dragon with its wings. However, no amount of pleading would get Tony to buy one. He really was getting good at that. Not that she was really trying. She knew there was no way she could keep one at the house. Tony must have known she knew that too, from the smile that played at his lips.
"But, Mr. Tony, they can understand me," Ivy said, not really able to speak with them, but she could make out what they were saying. It was like they were speaking broken English. When she tried to speak to them, it came out babytalk and they didn't understand.
"No, little bug, we have no place to put a fairy dragon. The sign said it grows up to fifteen feet long. Not even the biggest stable would hide it. The press would see it and who knows what the government would do. I'm sorry, honey, but no," Tony said, hating to disappoint her on her birthday. "If they have something at the gift shop, then we'll get one there," he promised. If he had to buy the whole shop, he would.
They went to the insect house and saw a great deal of creepy crawlies.
"I thought normal insects were creepy," Pepper said, shivering at the bizarreness of what she was seeing. Was that slime with eyeballs? Oh God, it was moving towards her. She moved away from the window that was showing the slime. It was quite unnerving. She hoped it couldn't get out.
"Ours are known to kill," Sirius said, looking at the doxies. While they weren't dangerous on their own, a flock of them would kill a man.
"So are ours, don't take a scorpion or spider lightly," Tony said, tapping on the glass of a horklump. "Of course, I don't know of any that look like mushrooms," he added, giving the case another tap to see if said mushroom looking animals would move. "What does this one do?" he questioned, then read the description. "Oh, it eats gnomes. That must be handy," he said to no one.
"Until all your gnomes are gone, and you have a horklump infestation," Remus said with a chuckle.
"Then you have to get goats to disinfest your yard of horklumps," Sirius said with a laugh. "They are the only animal that will eat them," he explained when they looked at him for an explanation. "You can buy the poison, but that will kill your yard. Then you have to start all over."
"Some of these, look like miniature humans. Even if they are blue," Steve said in fascination. The pixie he was looking at smiled and all semblance of human disappeared. Well, the ears were a big give away too, but those teeth sealed the deal. They looked like the mouth of a shark.
They spent a few more minutes in the insect house and then went to the snake house. There were dozens of snakes there. And they were all trying to talk at once.
"Quiet," Ivy hissed, and the room fell silent. Including the people, of which there were more than just her party. There were magicals there that were looking at the cute little girl with varying degrees of expressions. None of them were fear. Who would fear something so cute? Even if she could speak to snakes.
"Excuse me, miss," one of the house elves that attended the snakes came up to her said, "did you just speak snake?" It was wringing its hands and trying to seem like it wasn't afraid of her.
"Did I?" Ivy questioned, looking at Tony to answer.
"You hissed," he said with a shrug.
"You're a parselmouth," Sirius said, not sure how to react to that.
"Does that mean I can talk to snakes?" the little girl asked cutely. She smiled and went to the nearest exhibit. "Hello, Mr. Snake. How are you today?" she said, waving at the stunned snake.
"I am bored," the snake said, then many of the others said the same thing. The whole snake house was active with complaints of boredom.
"They say they are bored," Ivy said to the house elf. "You don't let them catch their meals," she explained, making some placating motions when the little being started showing signs of distress. "If you give them live food, they will be less bored," she offered.
"I will bes taking this up with the masters," the elf said and popped away.
"You know what this means, Tony," Bruce said, clapping the man on the back.
Clint came up to his other side and did the same.
"Another pet," Tony sighed. Since Ivy had come, his house was turning into a zoo. He sent a glare to Deadpool, who was still not forgiven for the wonderful birthday present.
"Don't worry, Mr. Tony, I don't want a snake," Ivy said, looking to Loki for some reason. "I have a feeling one will come our way soon," she added, winking at the man. She then turned back to the conversation she had been having with the snake about how bored he was.
They went to the aquatic part of the zoo, but didn't spend much time there. Most of the exhibits were of creatures that were deadly or just plain mean. Ivy didn't like it, so they went to the gift shop. Since it was Ivy's birthday, she got to pick out anything she wanted.
She selected all the stuffed animals of her favorite creatures. They all were very soft and some of them would make the noises of said animal, while others moved about. There were other toys but Ivy only wanted the stuffed animals. She was going to start a collection.
Tony purchased all of them, but warned her that that was not her birthday present. She was going to have to pick out something extra special for that.
"But, Mr. Tony, I thought the trip to the zoo was my birthday present," she said, confused. She never had anything like it before. Her Aunt Petunia never let her celebrate. Uncle Vernon would sneak a cupcake to her, and Dudley would get her something small, but if her aunt caught them there would be screaming and everything got thrown away. "I've never had such a great time in all my life," she insisted.
"It is only a small part of your present," Tony stated.
"Can we go to McDonald's?" Ivy asked with big eyes. "I've never been, and I've always wanted to go and play in the playland." She looked at him with such longing that he caved immediately.
"What do you say, guys? Greasy burgers for lunch?" Tony said, heading to the exit. It would be a late lunch, but it would give him time to cater a party for Ivy at the mansion. He had been making plans with Jarvis on the sly all day long.
"I've never heard of this McDonald's," Thor said, walking besides Ivy and smiling at her.
"Well," she said shyly, in a very cute manner, "it's mostly for children."
"I think you'll like the food," Steve said to the thunder god. "If you eat a lot of it," he added thinking of the bigger burgers and the man's appetite. He knew he needed at least three Big Macs to fill him up, he could only imagine what Thor would have to eat.
"I will endeavor to eat as much as I can then," Thor promised, making Tony glad that he was rich.
"I think I'm going to split," Deadpool said, having done what he had come to do. While he hadn't gotten to cause any chaos at the zoo, he did get to spend the morning with Ivy and that was enough.
"Do you really have to leave, Mr. Wade?" Ivy asked, her eyes shimmering with tears. She really liked the masked man.
"Yes, I have to get home to my girlfriend or she'll make me sleep on the couch," he said, leaning over to where Tony was holding her and kissing her through his mask. "I had a great time. You're a really cute kid. Enjoy taking over the world with Frank, and I'll visit soon," he said, and then disappeared by jumping up the stairs.
"He's a really nice man," Ivy said to Tony.
"If you say so, kiddo," Tony said, watching the ceiling like Deadpool was hanging about up there ready to drop down and ruin the rest of their day. He was still peeved at the man.
They made it to the limo and Happy drove them to the nearest fast-food restaurant, that had a playpark, and they scared the staff when they walked in all together. They were not a small crowd and some of the adults towered over the normal humans.
Ivy was this tiny little thing among them. She skipped ahead of everyone and went to the counter and ordered a Happy Meal. "It's my birthday," she chirped, smiling at everyone, and making them all smile back.
"Then you get an ice cream cone," the manager said, going and making a cone just for her.
"Thank you, mister," she said, taking the cone and licking it.
"We'll take five of every meal," Tony said, making it easier on the cashier.
"Five of every meal?" she asked, just to clarify.
"Well, not of the Happy Meals, but all the adult ones, yes," Tony said, taking out his debit card.
She diligently rung it up and told him the total. "It'll take a while to cook. We'll call your number when it's ready," she said, handing him the receipt with his number on the top.
They went to the back where the playpark was and Ivy finished her cone, and took off her shoes and went to play with the kids there. The adults just watched her have fun for the first time with kids her own age.
"She'll make great friends in school," Pepper said, seeing Ivy take a boy in hand that was being mean to his little brother.
"Yeah," Tony said, hoping it was true. He was keeping his eye on her. She didn't come off as bossy, just disappointed in her fellow human. The kid looked properly chastised. "I think you might be right," he finally agreed.
Their number was called and everyone but Bruce went to get the food. He stayed to keep an eye on Ivy. Tray after tray of food was put on the ten tables they had commandeered for themselves. Everyone grabbed something that looked appetizing for them and started eating.
"This is wonderful food, friend Tony," Thor said, while Loki put his burger down and shoved it aside and tried the French fries. He decided they were the lesser of two evils and munched on them. There was an abundance of them anyway.
"Eat as much as you want, Thor," the billionaire said, only eating one burger and taking one of the nugget meals. He preferred them anyway.
Everyone ate their fill and soon enough they were headed home. It took an hour to get there and Ivy, sitting among her many stuffed animals, was out like a light. Sirius and Remus had to ride home with Clint and Natasha because the toys took up so much space in the limo.
The manor was decked out in party lights and there was children's music playing when they pulled up. Tony was waking Ivy up and showing her the house. "Happy Birthday, little bug," he said, hoping she would be happy with a simple family party. Well, simple for Tony Stark.
"Thank you, Daddy," she said, kissing his cheek. "You're the best present ever," she whispered in his ear. She then wiggled down and skipped to the mansion with Pepper holding her hand. Leaving Tony to sit and contemplate what just happened.