A Much Deadlier Tournament
Chapter 15:
Love Polygons of Indeterminate Degrees
Arriane Cauderdale stalked, literally and admittedly, the Boy-Who-Lived with a hateful fervor as he walked the parapets near the hospital wing.
She had only asked him to the ball in the first place to piss off, and metaphorically piss on, her conniving year-mates who went on and on about how she had wasted her time at Hogwarts. She was there to learn, so what if she had never even kissed a boy, she got the head girl position she always wanted and was still sought-after by most of the older boys. If the amount to ask her to the ball was any indication. And to prove it, she had snagged the boy who lived as a dance partner. Arrangements to learn how to dance were still ongoing.
Was there any higher token of achievement than to have a date with the most famous wizard on the planet?
Well, apparently it came with some drawbacks. Turns out, the dragon-slayer was an absolute psycho who just took down the British Ministry of Magic with a prank, completely upended the Triwizard tournament and royally enraged every member of the ICW in one fell swoop.
To top all of that off, his claim that his new girlfriend had "made him a man" - a choice of words that she highly suspected meant something OTHER than what everyone was assuming it meant - now every fifth through seventh year thinks she bedded him in order to get him to say yes. They were all oddly approving of it. But comments like "Wow, he was the only person I expected to remain a virgin longer than you, Arianna. It's great to see two awkward shut-ins match up" didn't go a long way to making her feel great about herself.
But do you know what the real clincher was? The absolute cherry on top of this fecal cake?
Overhearing him and her head of house sharing a drink together. Severus didn't do that for just any student, and certainly not with the one being on this planet he supposedly hated more than the dark lord himself. So now not only had her plan to get under her head of house's skin, he was now buddying up with Harry-Bloody-Potter!
That kind of intimate time with the potions professor was reserved for top students like her! Not that slacker!
So here she was, stalking the boy who somehow got emancipated at the ripe old age of fourteen. So far, all she learned was that he was a quiet, introspective walker who clearly wanted to be left alone. But nobody seemed to want to leave him alone. This combination boded poorly for everyone.
Sue Li stalked, literally and admittedly, Arriane Cauderdale with a hateful fervor as the other girl did the same to her Harry.
She had told the truth when she said she had no interest in attending the Yule ball, that would require dancing and learning how to dance in the first place, both of which were off the table. But she had lied when she said it didn't bothered her to learn he was going with somebody else. That this somebody else was the gorgeous head girl and a Slytherin rumored to be banging Professor Snape, boded very poorly.
She needed to find out what the woman was up to, Harry's life could depend on it. And for once, just once, she would like to be the one to body slam into oblivion the person stupid enough to be screwing with him. So that he needle always have to. He deserved the chance to relax.
And so, she determined to deal with the head girl... discretely.
Hermione stalked Sue Li and Arianne Cauderdale, figuratively and not at all creepily, with a hateful fervor as they themselves stalked her Harry. She now strongly suspected that her knight had somehow transmogrified into a two-timing creep that had already begun cheating on Sue Li with this Cauderdale girl, a girl he couldn't even name!
Clearly Sue was now onto his two-timing ways and was planning to catch the two in the act, and close to succeeding by the looks of things. She wished with all her might for Creevey to appear so she could borrow her camera and document the coming chaos. Document and never share it with anybody. Just for her own, personal enjoyment.
Dobby stalked, literally and gleefully, the three girls bearing down on his master with a hateful fervor.
How could the Great harry Potter do such a terrible thing? How could he take what was rightfully his and give it all to the headmaster? Grangy had made those S.P.E.W hats, scarfs and socks for him. HIM! Not Dumblydore!
Ooooooh how it made him burn with envy. And it clearly had upset Grangy too, because now she was following his master and his two concubines with similar anger in her heart.
He couldn't hurt his master, not the great Harry Potter, but he could look away as his mistress, Grangy , hurt him. And he was perfectly happy doing so.
Viktor Krum sat, furtively and dejectedly, in the library wondering in a sad passivity where in the world his date could be. Hermownninny had agreed to a quiet date in the library to read up on the history of mermaids, but the bushy-haired bookworm was nowhere to be seen.
He slumped deeper into his chair, the will to tackle the pile of books in front of him gone from him as he once again wondered what in the world had happened to the flustered, shy girl he had asked out. He had so hoped for a break, possibly a permanent one, from the lascivious Veela and obsessive fangirls he had grown increasingly annoyed with over the years. But she seemed more difficult and disagreeable than all of them.
Dating sure was a lot easier when the other parties were blatant and obvious with their desires and intentions. Was it really such a surprise that the girl who was different from all the other girls would give him so much trouble?
Harry stood up just a bit straighter new arch-nemesis walked. The deep black silk and bright pink flowery designs on her Japanese clothes he couldn't even begin to name did not flow like robes he had seen before, but instead remained tightly wound and perfectly concealed any sign of her gender. But she was most assuredly a woman. A stern, scary-looking Japanese woman who looked like she could be the daughter, not granddaughter, daughter of McGonnagal and Mr Osato... Harry couldn't decide on which half of such a relationship the age gap would fall and didn't dare ask the deputy headmistress standing beside him.
"Good day, Mister Potter. My name is Arikawa Tatsuyo." The woman in flowery robes introduced herself. "My official title is onboarder for the Mahoukotoro Institute of Magic, and it is normally my job to convince Muggle parents that their child is a witch or wizard and induct them into our society, but I occasionally tutor foreign wizards or witches who have emigrated to Nippon so as to make their transition easier. I believe you qualify as the latter."
Wow. That sure was a mouthful. And to think, he'd always been so impressed by Hermione's mythical ability to speak entire novels without taking a breath. Now he found her superior.
His head of house elbowed him and he regained his manners.
"Oh! Pleasure to meet you ma'am." Harry said with a polite nod that he intended to be a bow but didn't quite pass.
She returned his nod-bow with a similar lack of passion.
"And you as well, mister Potter. I have it on good authority that you will be showing me and mine the utmost courtesy and respect?" She said.
Dumbledore, McGonigal and Snape all gave him the same death glare while Moody looked particularly confused. Being his flippant self, Harry was suitably unintimidated by the show, but he had already decided on the right course of action.
"The way I see it, ma'am, you and yours have never done anything to me, which puts you in my highest esteem. If we are to be stuck together, I think we should both endeavor to make it as pleasant as possible." Harry said honestly. "I say, let's get through our time together with as little humdrum and stress as possible. It's only six months?"
"And only two of those will be at Makoukotoro." Said Arikawa, seemingly pleased with his peace offer. "Until then, we shall simply work on the language and culture barrier for thirty minutes per day, if such an arrangement is amenable to you?"
"Sooooo, daily lunch?" Harry suggested.
She nodded stiffly.
"Table manners and the names of foods is always an excellent place to begin. Taste and smell do add to better memorization." She said with a pleased nod. "We begin tomorrow at noon, then noon every day thereafter. I will see you then. Now if you'll excuse me, Minerva promised to catch up with me and guide me to my quarters."
Arikawa nodded to professor McGonigal and together the two ladies left through the griffon-decorated door. Harry waited for the sound of the spiral staircase to finish descending before going over to close the door behind her. He then turned to professors Snape, Moody and Dumbledore.
"I like her!" Harry said. "She's like McGonigal but even more concise. I didn't know that was possible!"
"She is majestic to behold, as always." Snape said dryly. "I believe she was handpicked to deal with you as the least likely to cause offense or misunderstanding with you"
Harry scoffed mirthlessly.
"Right. Because all of the offense I've taken was all due to misunderstandings of perfectly upstanding and well- meaning..."
"Whoa whoa, Harry!" Albus said in only a slightly raised but still calm voice, all the while raising both of his hands in a gesture of surrender in order to calm him down Harry's increasingly raised voice. "We know. Your wrath up until this point has been more than justified, as has your rampage. But you must understand that the Japanese do not under any circumstances want that wrath and subsequent rampage tearing through their countryside."
Harry deflated but still felt his boiling emotions demanding to be let out. yeah. He could understand their point of view on this.
The school officials of Mahoukotoro were probably ecstatic about being the first fourth, and first non-European, school to take part in the tournament. Hell, they were probably ecstatic to have THE Harry Potter representing them. But they were surely terrified of him after his recent exploits, not to mention the - partly true - rumors of his time at Hogwarts to date.
"Did I miss something while imprisoned?" Professor Moody eventually interjected. "Why are you both acting like the world thinks this kid is the second coming of Voldemort?"
Harry looked at his Defense professor inquisitively and caught onto the man's slip up instantly.
"You're not Alastor Moody." Harry decided. "He referred to Voldemort as the Dark Lord, and you're a bit thinner."
The fake moody just stared at Harry with a look somewhere between studious observation and fatherly pride.
"Ah yes, Harry, Alastor. Allow me to introduce you two to each-other." Albus said, motioning between them. "Seeing as you've never met."
Now Harry was even more confused. For maybe half a second before he caught on.
"Polyjuice potion shenanigans?" Harry asked.
"Whoa! I already like this kid." Said Moody. "Sharp as a knife. And clearly been up to some polyjuice potion shenanigans himself."
"Meh. Only once." Harry admitted.
"Second year over Christmas break?" Snape clarified knowingly.
"Is there a statute of limitations on robbing the potion master blind of highly regulated ingredients?"
"No." Snape said with a death glare to outdo the one he gave earlier.
"Then nope. I have no idea what you're talking about." Harry lied cheekily.
Huh. Snape had somehow returned him to his normal good mood. He usually had the opposite effect. The world really was going insane.
"Sooooo?" Alastor coaxed them back to the topic at hand. "What'd I miss?"
"Killed a dragon." Harry said simply.
"One on one." Snape amended.
"Then declared a litigious war on the entirety of magical Britain and the ICW." Dumbledore amended further. "And won."
"During the trial I MAY have overplayed my hand and made myself seem more blood thirsty and vindictive than I am." Harry finished. "And people took it too seriously. With mostly delightful results, so I shouldn't complain."
Moody just stared at him. Dumbledore and Snape simply stared at Moody.
"I'm too high on caffeine and nicotine from my first cup of coffee and fag in months to deal with this, so let's take a rain check on the absolute lunacy that you and yours have been up to in my absence, ALBUS!" He yelled pointedly at Dumbledore as if all of the weirdness that was Harry Potter's existence was somehow Dumbledore's fault, which Harry thought was distinctly unfair. "And let's get to the chase. I was replaced by a Death Eater, and he has been your defense teacher for the last few months."
Harry nodded and motioned for him to continue.
"I spent three months locked in a footlocker, THAT footlocker." He explained, indicating the metal box behind Dumbledore's desk. "And a filthy Death Eater spent that time impersonating me, apparently VERY CONVINCINGLY!" He again yelled his words at Dumbledore. "And apparently served as the best defense teacher any student still at Hogwarts ever had."
"If you need any additional testimony to his excellent teaching, I'll happily testify." Harry said. "Apparently I'm good at testifying."
"No!" Dumbledore said sternly. "No, you are not! Stay away from any and all courtrooms for as long as you live. Please. For me."
Harry stared at the pleading man and the utter seriousness with which he said it moved him enough to nod in surrender. He didn't know much about the trials Dumbledore went through as Supreme Mugwomp and whatever his title was with the British Ministry of Magic was, but Snape's recent words regarding Dumbledore's business and how he personally added so much stress to the loveable man's life echoed truer in that moment than ever before.
Harry nodded, and in that conciliatory gesture he conveyed an entire host of concessions he didn't quite have the words to convey with speech, but which he meant as assuredly as if it were through a legally binding contract.
"So, who was this Death Eater? Somebody I know?" Harry asked.
"You tell us." Snape said.
The potions professor walked over to the trunk, pushed aside Dumbledore's desk, and opened the container. Out flopped a gagged and bound man. He was wiry with sandy, tussled hair and almost as many freckled as Ron. the look of pure hate he threw at everyone in the room gave Harry a good enough look at his face to recognize him."
"Hey I remember you!" Harry said, getting the attention of everyone. "You were in that mansion with Voldemort and Wormtail! When he killed that old groundskeeper."
They all look at him confusedly.
The sandy-haired man on the floor said something illegible through his gag. Snape, training his wand on the back of the man's neck, removed his gag.
"How the hell do you even know about that?" The man asked again, this time ungagged.
"Well... it was a dream. I saw this guy in a dream, with Wormtail and Voldemort, well, a baby Voldemort... an inbred thalidomide baby Voldemort... IT WAS A DREAM OKAY!" Harry tried to explain. "Or at least, I thought it was."
The bound man roared with laughter, struggling to get the next words out.
"To top it all off he's a see!" The man exclaimed. "That was no dream boy. You experienced a farsight vision. It's like a precognitive vision but of things currently happening. The Dark Lord was pleased with your development before, but he's going to love that."
Snape gave the man a kick to the ribs and he responded with a pained laugh. The kind you make when you have the air knocked out of you.
"Soooo, who is this guy anyways?" Harry asked.
"Bartemius Crouch." Said the man. "Junior."
Harry knelt down to look more closely at the guys face. He wasn't catching any resemblance to senior, but that neither Dumbledore, Moody or Snape corrected him meant it must be true... wait a minute!
"That explains it!" Harry said. "You were locked in his office the whole time weren't you?"
He shared a look with Snape, the only other person in the room with knowledge of the map, and they shared a knowing nod.
"I'm... not sure I understand." Said junior.
"You don't have to." Said Harry. "What you need to focus on, is explaining. Why is Voldemort pleased? Wait, no, first, are you the person to put my name in the goblet of fire?"
Junior snorted.
"I sure did." He said. "And thanks to Dumbledore's brilliant move of putting me in charge of investigating the Goblet I had plenty of time to focus on my main mission, supporting you in your trials."
Harry stared at him.
"Seems counterintuitive to have you helping me in a tournament if your intention was to have me killed." Harry said. "So I'm guessing you did not throw me into this mess trying to kill me?"
"Your guess is correct." Said Junior. "The Dark Lord did not deign to put you in this once in a lifetime tournament as a punishment or attempt on your life, but as a gift."
"A gift?!" Harry yelled.
"A gift." Junior confirmed, significantly more calmly that Harry. "Tis not every day one gets the chance to compete in the Triwizard tournament and prove themselves the greatest champion of his generation. But you're one task and yet have already proven to be such. But your own power no less!"
Harry felt his temper rising even further.
"You're lying!" Harry said.
"Am I? Have you forgotten that the Dark Lord himself served as your defense teacher for an entire year? And his first servant to return to him had slept in the same dorm as you for three?" Junior asked. "He has you profiled, everybody does, and in my short time teaching you I have confirmed their observations on your most defining trait."
"And what is my defining trait, exactly?!" Hary demanded.
"You. HATE. Your fame." Junior said with a twisted grin.
That shut Harry up. That shut down the freight train of his boiling rage like front-on collision with another freight train.
"And now, you are slightly less known as the boy who lived, and more known as the dragon slayer." Junior concluded. "You are less ramous for having a brilliant, dead mother and more famous for SHITSTOMPING THE ICW! Great work by the way! That compliment comes directly from him. More for the damage you've done to the British ministry, but still. Wow. Just wow."
Harry felt his legs fall out from underneath him and in his shock-addled mind he barly registered Dumbledore waving his wand to conjure a chair for him to land in.
"So, I'm in this tournament because I..." He tried to get the words out, but couldn't find them.
"Because you have a thirst to prove yourself." Junior finished.
A booming laughter erupted from the shelving behind Harry and Harru turned to see the Sorting Hat had awakened.
"That's exactly what I told him when I sorted him, but noooo. Not Slytherin, he said." The hat complained yet again.
"You were going to put him in Slytherin?" Alastor asked, clearly surprised.
"And you put him in Gryffindor?" Junior clarified. "Just because he asked?"
"Indeed." Said the hat.
"He would have done well in Slytherin." Snape and Barty said at once.
The hat erupted into even louder laughter at the duel confirmations of his own words to Harry four years hence.
Harry tried to say something to the trio. He intended for it to come out as a string containing every slur ever invented including some not used since the days of Narmer, but instead it came out sounded more like a lawnmower submerged in seafoam trying to start up.
Dumbledore made another calming motion to him and Harry took it as a sign to suck in a deep, soothing breath. Woth that finished he got back to considering this Death Eater before him.
"Why did Voldemort decide to feed my thirst to prove myself then?" Harry asked. "Why does he feel the need to give me such a great gift" Is he trying to make amends or something?"
The entire room scoffed at the mere concept, and harry wondered internally how he'd even managed to ask it with a straight face.
"No, Harry." Said Junior. "His reasons are multifold, but the most obvious is to test and train you up. At eleven you conquered a cerberus, a devil's snare, a swarm of deadly keys, a killer chess match, two trolls, a logical puzzle and killed a full grown wizard."
Harry scowled.
"I didn't do all of that. I had help..."
"From two other eleven year olds!" Junior yelled with an incredulo9us laugh to his voice. "Then you followed this up by, in the following year, walking into an acromantula nest and then walking RIGHT back out unharmed, followed less than a week later where you killed a thousand-year-old basilisk with a sword! But all of that pales in comparison to last year."
"I didn't do anything that impressive last year." Harry tried to defend himself.
When both Dumbledore and Snape facepalmed, Harry felt he may overlooked something about his third year. Unless surviving the diotically criminal abuse of a time-turner was somehow as impressive as killing a sixty foot snake?
"Kid." Said Junior. "You learned to cast the patronus charm in less than a year. A PERFECT patronus. That alone made the Dark Lord realize you are a legitimate genius, because HE can't even do that. He cannot cast even a basic patronus. And it boggles the mind you would ever be able to with your past. Even now the skepticism on your face tells me you don't comprehend the gravity of that achievement."
Harry looked to Dumbledore for confirmation.
"It's true." Said Dumbledore. "You are one of three people in magical Britain capable of casting a patronus that powerful. The other are myself and Filius. And most people cannot cast it at all, especially traumatized people like yourself. You honestly should not be able to cast it at all. I couldn't until I conquered my personal demons well into my middle age."
Harry blew out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. But junior just kept at it.
"The Dark Lord needed confirmation of your talent though, your individual talent apart from your almost equally talented friends. As if all of that evidence wasn't enough, and what a perfect opportunity this tournament turned out to be." Junior explained. "And you have blown all of his highest expectations well out of the water. Your being entered into the tournament, more than as a gift to you, was to serve as a trial by fire and training program. Because you excelled when put up against grave threats, grew dramatically stronger by them, and it was his hope to observe your progression as a wizard over the course of this year to determine exactly how great of a threat you are."
Harry took a deep breath and finally stood back up.
"And then I went and killed a dragon." Harry said.
"And then you went and killed a dragon." Junior confirmed. "Since then, the Dark Lord has determined you are too dangerous to be left alive much longer. He will kill you by his own hand by the end of this year."
Harry was a little too emotionally spent to care much about that revelation. If you could call it that. Oh no! Voldemort is still planning to kill me! Whatever will Harry do?! The melodrama.
"But he'll let me finish the tournament as a gift first, right?" Harry asked rhetorically.
"Well, that WAS the plan." Said Junior.
"But?" Harry asked.
"But then I got caught." Junior said ominously. "And your surviving to the endo f this year was predicated on my being able to kidnap you at any time the Dark Lord saw fit so that you could personally witness his resurrection. Now that I am no longer able to do that, and have been heavily dosed with veritaserum, the Dark Lord must accelerate his plans. He will now have to resurrect without you and will do so by the end of this week. How and where? I know not, for I was not allowed to know any of his contingency plans should I fail as I have."
Harry sighed.
"So, we have a week to find him and stop his resurrection?" Harry asked, looking pointedly at Dumbledore.
"If that. And everybody already is." Said Dumbledore. "The entirety of the British Auror corps has been militarized and sent out to every possible location, including the mansion of your vision, to hunt him and Pettigrew down. But so far, no luck."
"And you won't have any." Said Junior. "In one week he shall be at full power once more, and I will be dead or worse."
Harry looked at him.
"I have a smooch with a dementor to get to after this.' Said Junior. "Which is one of many reasons I'm so confused at how cheerful I am."
"I dosed you with veritaserum and Felix Felicus." Said Snape. "The combo loses the luck, keeps the cheerfulness and honesty."
"Hm." Said Junior. "Neat."
"Do we have to kill him?" Harry asked. "I mean, he really WAS the best defense teacher we ever had. Can we make him a prisoner to Hogwarts? Force him to be the teacher until the curse kills him?"
"You are far too cruel for one so young." Said Junior. "But that wouldn't work. They could not ensure my cooperation, let alone any of your safety, save with a very powerful imperius. That and I may have been part of the team of Death Eaters that turned the Longbottoms into vegetables. So that definitely wouldn't fly."
The phrase 'turned the Longbottoms into vegetables' made his blood boil and reminded him what kind of monster he was dealing with. Once again he cursed himself for not allowing Pettigrew to meet his fate at Sirius' hand, a mistake he would not make again.
"Is there a punishment harsher than the kiss?" Harry asked.
"None allowed by law." Snape said, staring death into the back of the kneeling Death Eater's skull.
Notes:
I am not happy with how this chapter turned out. Not least of all because I dropped back down to 500 words per day from my usual 1000 while writing it and couldn't manage more. And the comedic timing I was aiming for went wide of the mark and rewriting the scenes didn't help. I'll get back on track with the next chapter, I'm sure.