Hey Everyone,

Promise I'm still keeping up with this! Life got a little rough over the past month and a half. I needed some time to navigate loss, navigate emergencies within my family, and just…breath. I wanted to take my time getting back to this chapter, as well as make sure I was doing everything I could to change the dialogue, certain beats, descriptions, etc. while also sticking true to what the heart was of this chapter.

I hope the characters continue to feel more natural, the dynamics fluid, and the added elements enhance it. It has really been fun diving back in, questioning what I was thinking when I was writing this at 15-16 years old, and improve its quality.

Thanks for continuing to take a chance on me. Please enjoy!

theWanderingANBU

Rebirth 2: Reunion

"May I come in? I'm sorry I'm late…" it was Rei, who had also brought flowers and a wrapped gift. Asuka took a moment before lightly smiling.

"So, you finally showed up Wunderkid, for a moment I forgot you were coming," Asuka was playful in her tone, the tension in her body easing. Rei showed no emotion, just indifference, "Lucky that you got here just in time for the cake cutting, you should take a seat and -," that's when she froze. Everything around her fell in silence, as she could hear the lively chatter behind her also quieting. She could feel everyone's eyes peering over to where she was, and where he was. Asuka was asking herself if this was a dream or a nightmare, one that she'd had often enough since he left.

In the various dreams she had of him returning, standing just as he was in front of her right outside the apartment door. She had practiced different iterations of what she would say to him. Some were outbursts of anger and hurt, making him known how hurt she had been when he left her. Other dreams she found herself leaping into his arms and nestling herself into him, crying and releasing the pain she'd held back all these years. And other times she'd stand in silence, and close the door on him, knowing that anything she said wouldn't change the outcome. Asuka hated those dreams the most because it was her recognizing she was only dreaming. The other dreams allowed her to feel maybe, just maybe, she was with him this time. A feign sense of hope that this was the one time it was real.

Now here he was, standing in front of her, and all Asuka could do was freeze. There he was rubbing his head with his hand and that stupid nervous smile he does when he feels uncomfortable. He wasn't wearing his normal clothing – trading in his signature white button up shirt with a white hoodie and a black mid-length trench coat. He traded in his navy blue school slacks for sleek black slacks and dress shoes. Instead of slouching, he was standing tall and looked fitter than he had before. Yet, Asuka could tell who he was. She could see it in his eyes and demeanor, even though his eyes did feel deeper than they once more. They were empty still, hollow, like a void had nestled into them and found a home.

"H-h-hi everyone. It's, uh, been a while hasn't it?" he said, waving nervously. That damn nervous laugh he had, the one that irked her to no end and was infuriating now. Everyone remained in silence and the air felt thick with tension.

"Well I'll be damned, you actually showed up. All these years, no contact, nothing, and you decided today was the day to come. I'm surprised," Misato said with a half-smile, her voice a mixture of snark, sarcasm, but elation, "I'd say I'm happy to see you, but I think that would take away from the fact that you've got a lot to explain."

He looked around to all the faces that were frozen in a medley of emotions. Hikari with a look of pure surprise and worry, her eyes more focused on Asuka. Touji and Kensuke looking happily surprised, but a million questions swirling around. There was also a mixture of hurt in there, and he understood. Pen-pen had waddled out to the sound of his voice, and he was frozen in front of his little house. There was caution in his body language, his eyes attempting to determine if this was real or not.

"I…" he stammered, his eyes darting at everyone before settling in on Asuka. Her eyes were staring through him and could feel how surreal this was for her. Again, he felt the memories of the years before he left flooding his mind. Yet, he brushed them off knowing now wasn't the time to sit and reflect with them. He had done it enough to know firmly he needed to come back, "I felt like it was time, Misato."

"You felt it was time, man that's rich Shinji," Misato said, looking away taking a sip of her Yebisu, "It's funny, I thought I'd feel happier to see you if you ever showed up, but right now, I'm just disappointed." Pen-pen waddled up to her, and Misato could sense his hurt in the way he pushed himself into her leg, "Makes me feel like every invitation was a mistake,"

"Wait, Misato, it wasn't a mistake. There's just been a lot of things that have happened since, some things I didn't honestly expect…"

"Everyone thinks they have to defend themselves when someone just makes an observation. Shinji, you made your choice, you don't have to defend yourself," Misato said with a sigh, "Look around, we've all had a lot of things happen and change. That's how time works, nothing stays the same. I was just hoping that kiss meant more to you than it feels like it did. Talk about another bad decision on my part."

"M-M-Misato! I -,"

Misato chuckled, "Still just as easy to tease. Relax, Shinji. At least you're the exception to time and change."

Shinji looked down at the ground, "Trust me, I wish I could change many things about me. Here I am though, Shinji, just older."

There was some silent murmuring and chattering around the table, with Hikari's eyes keeping on Shinji in shock while her hand was over her mouth near Touji's ear. Kensuke was taking a swig of his drink, looking down with his silence deafening. Shinji looked into Asuka's eyes again and could see how much destruction he'd left in his wake with her. Tears were forming in her eyes, her body was trembling slightly while she remained firmly planted in place.

"Asuka, I brought you this gift," Shinji said, handing her what looked to be a slender but long rectangular gift. As if on auto-pilot, she opened the gift and found herself staring at a red and orange striped scarf with her initials on the tail ends. The gift hurt in her hands, and like a hammer to a bottle, it was bringing out everything she'd felt all these years.

The abandonment, the disappointment, the hurt of losing someone, the climb back to finding a semblance of normalcy without him, acceptance that she would lose one of the few who truly understood her pain and what she went through. The therapy appointments, the hospital and rehabilitation appointments, the court appearances, everything. All of the tears were falling from her face now, as if the pain in her chest she was feeling was the dam bursting. She couldn't take it, she couldn't grapple with it.

"I'm sure y-,"

Everyone flinched at the sound of the slap that echoed in the kitchen. Any semblance of celebration had been sucked out, and it felt like the room was dead. Misato remained calm as if nothing happened, continuing to sip her Yebisu beer, happy to watch and see what would unfold. Shinji was slowly raising his hand up to his cheek, his brain also taking its time in registering the pain that was now coming from the area.

Asuka's face looked down at the ground in front of Shinji, "Four years ago, do you remember what happened to me with Arael? Do you remember how damaged I was? Of course you do because I know you visited me in the hospital," Asuka said, while her grip tightened around the scarf. Her voice was furiously calm, but trembling, "Shinji, I can still feel the way the way their Lances of Longinus pierced me. I can still remember dying, even if the others don't remember. Yet somehow, I came back because of a stupid idiot boy who was willing to overlook his own anxiety and fear of affection and rejection. Somehow, the spineless wimp I knew grew a goddamn spine, and it was about damn time."

"Everything we experienced. Every battle those adults threw us into never caring for our lives, only caring to further their own agenda…none of that pain matches what you put me through. Fuck you, idiot Shinji. Fuck you for coming on my birthday, on the same day you reverted to your immature self and confirmed that you couldn't change." She finally looked at him, and Shinji could see how red the area around her eyes were. She was stifling her sobs, "You should've never came back. YOU SHOULD'VE NEVER COME BACK!"

Before Shinji could protest, she ran past him and outside. She had thrown his scarf onto the ground. Everyone stood up from the table, uncertain on what to do. Do they follow her? Hikari looked jittery as if ready to run off towards Asuka.

"I don't know what to do, it's all my fault," Shinji thought to himself, his eyes looking at everyone. He could see now he was no longer the friend he thought he was. This moment really brought to him a sense of how much of an outsider he was. While Asuka was the one who had slapped him and ran off, her feelings were mirrored across everyone inside, "No, this can't be right. Asuka's right, I shouldn't be here. I'm just going to keep hurting her -,"

"I should go get her," Hikari finally started running towards the door, Touji nodding.

"No, I think this time Shinji needs to answer for this," Misato responded, slamming the now empty beer can onto the table, "I'm not going to sugarcoat this for you Shinji as I can't protect your feelings. I have to protect Asuka's right now," Hikari protested, but Misato gave her a look, " I'm only doing this because you really need to think on it Shinji. You picked the worst day to try and make amends. So you better be ready to have a conversation with Asuka that is going to hurt, and you better do it. You say a lot has changed, well I hope to God you've changed a little bit. No running away this time, right?"

Shinji still stood there in shock, as if Misato's words bypassed the pain and struck him hard. Internally, he laughed at his folly – how stupid and dense could he have been to not register how what happened four years ago happened today? Did he think he could erase the memories and overwrite them by showing up? He could feel the negative thoughts come to mind, the spiral he always felt like he succumbs to.

"Shinji," Misato snapped causing Shinji to snap from his spiral, tossing her coat towards him,"Take this and get going already!"

"She's right," Shinji thought to himself while he nodded at Misato, turning and running towards the one spot they used to go to together, "I can't change the past, but I can at lease help us both move forward into the future."

-Somewhere-

"Dammit Asuka, you could've at least grabbed a jacket," she thought to herself, "And of course I picked this damn spot to run to as well. Least it has a vending machine," she walked over to the vending machine, selected a hot latte to hold in her hands while retreating back to the all too familiar bench. She plopped down, opening the drink and the steam escaping from inside. She blew on it, taking a sip of it, while peering towards Tokyo-3's major cityscape. With how restless and bustling life within Tokyo-3 was, this bench was like sitting in the outside dormant zone. It was a space her and Shinji had chose for her to rest as way to see how life kept moving without rushing her through her rehabilitation.

Unconsciously, she began to relax and empty her mind. Nothing was bugging her, and she could fall into something familiar. Yet, the crispness of the wind sent shivers down her spine, pulling her violently back to reality as goosebumps formed everywhere on her porcelain skin. Asuka sighed, blowing on the latte in her hand before sipping it. Whether she liked it or not, she knew she owed it to herself to sort out the feelings she felt when seeing him.

In that singular moment of seeing him, Asuka knew her heart skipped a beat and there was a feeling of relief seeing him. Shinji had looked different but the same, this time exuding more confidence and stronger. He didn't look frail, or timid like he used to, which she questioned what pulled her into him so much when he didn't fit her type at all? During the four years while Shinji departed Tokyo-3, she had to determine if she truly liked him the way she did, or was it out of finding someone who was similar to her? Who could share in her pain and trauma? Was it because it was comfort, but not actually falling for someone.

After a lot of internal deliberating, she wasn't entirely certain, but she felt like it leaned more towards actually developing feelings for him. In times when she knew he was coming her eyes were scanning the room for him in anticipation. When she was training, she wanted him to see her growing and improving. Asuka wanted Shinji to see her as strong, confident, and someone to desire. Her feelings were solid on the day that he was abandoned her.

In contrast, she also despised him and was hurt. The day he left was a core memory for her that never left, tied into her sense of being abandoned always by the ones she loved. Hikari did her best in trying to give Asuka ways to take her mind off of it – taking her places, just sitting there listening or in silence, or picking up things to do with her. Then Touji came back into the picture, after it being obvious they both had feelings one another, came and asked her out. Asuka was happy for them, albeit having to deal with the occasional pangs of jealousy. What she saw of Touji and Hikari was what she wanted with Shinji and had hoped they could be that.

Now, that rosy picture she had of them together had been shattered and splintered into small glass fragments. She didn't necessarily hate him, but she despised the way he left everything so easily. Her gut told her she still cared about him, but those romantic feelings she had were gone and she wasn't sure if they could come back. Or if they should.

"It wouldn't have happened anyway, the idiot could barely handle me as a friend. Hell, I can't even imagine him working up the courage to ask me out," she chuckled to herself, looking up into the night sky, "He was too shy or too timid to try anything. He'd more likely run away then take a chance on asking me out. Wait, why do I even care about that."

For a moment, Asuka question found herself questioning if she overreacted but scoffed at her own though. No, she hadn't, in fact she was surprised at how tame her actions were versus how she felt. She was surprised she even gave himself an ounce of grace when she felt like telling him to fuck off and leave. He deserved that, not another minute of her time. Misato was going to get an earful when she got back. She was shivering as the piercing cold of the wind was overpowering the warmth the latte once brought. Though she knew she was going to get up and leave shortly, she found herself wanting to absorb the peace that this moment brough.

Suddenly, she felt a jacket placed over her shoulders and her instincts grabbed it to cover herself some more. Asuka felt herself now aware that it was her favorite winter jacket, and that someone was sitting next to her. Without looking at him, she knew Shinji was there because of course he had to be the one to be here. Another one of Misato's antics that Asuka noted in going after Misato for.

"I loved taking you here after your rehab and therapy sessions because it felt like we got to take a breather and have a singular moment of peace and quiet," she heard him say, "I just -,"

"Shut it, Shinji, I'd rather not hear a word you have to say," Asuka's tone was bitter and had an edge to it, "I'm guessing Misato sent you to find me, right?"

"Yeah, she did, and if she hadn't Hikari would be looking for you everywhere. I don't know how quickly she'd find you though," Shinji kept his eyes looking out towards the city, "Though, I wanted to be the one to find you. I really don't want things to be like this,"

"You don't get a say in that," Asuka didn't miss a beat saying that, making sure the words pierced Shinji like a dagger, "I know you're stupid, but I didn't think you'd be this much of an idiot to think you could just come back three years later and pretend everything would be okay."

"Well, Mi-,"

"Please tell me you've actually become an adult and can think for yourself instead of relying on Misato," Asuka was pulling the jacket back around her tighter, "You're a goddamn adult, Shinji. You have no excuses for being spineless or a wimp. Or are you telling me that year after third impact was an act?"

"No it really wasn't Asuka," Shinji's voice was mellow, and also a bit defensive, "I ran through so many different scenarios in my head to explain what I was thinking, but none of it made sense. I di-,"

"Shinji, no," Asuka said, this time her eyes locked into his. Shinji could see how much restraint she was practicing, and patience in talking to him rather than pushing him away. It made him realize how much she'd grown, and how distant she was to him, "You really think you can worm your way back into our lives with such a pathetic excuse of "I ran through this scenario so many times but chose to say nothing"?"

"Do you remember what that therapist told me, one of the few sessions I told them I needed you in with my to work through some trauma because you could help me navigate through it?" Asuka said as she stood up. She took a few steps away from him, "She had me acknowledge that part of my healing was being vulnerable about what I was feeling. Talking, communicating, expressing, all of that stuff I refused to believe because I felt like no one had my back. I expected Misato to push me away like Kaji would. I barely trusted anyone to feel like I could open up to because eventually I was too much. I was too angry, too needy, too something – some adjective to justify having no one around."

"Yet, I chose you. I chose you because even in the midst of all of your flaws – rejecting affection or intimacy, freezing when your anxiety peaks, being unable to really think for yourself – I felt like you would understand fundamentally what was wrong with me. And I thought I saw you growing too, and felt like you could handle being my support. That's what I needed. I felt like I was getting close to being normal thanks to you, and then you reverted back to being an idiot."

"You don't get it Shinji, I learned to heal not just from all of what we experienced, but I learned to heal in spite of you. I learned to overcome the feeling that those I need most would abandon me. I had to learn to rely on those two stooges and Hikari to get better. I built my life without you being part of it. I was at peace."

"And yet, here you are coming back because of goodness knows what. You're going to remain cryptic by professing things like "I wouldn't understand" or "there's so much going on". That's not acceptable anymore," Shinji got up and tried holding her arms but she smacked it away, "No, you don't get to disrupt my life. Take how I'm handling this now as a sign of growing – because all I want to do right now is smack you for thinking you could come back like this and expect me to feel what I felt for you years ago. I guess you can stay the night here since you've come back, but please be gone in the morning. Either that, or I leave,"

Shinji stood there with his hand frozen in reaching out towards Asuka, who took another couple steps back away from him. They stood there in silence for a moment, until finally Shinji broke it.

"I'm sorry, Asuka, I am. There's no way I can sugar coat it, I ran away from everything," Shinji's eyes were looking at the ground, his arm dropping to his side, "It's just hard to break what you're already used to, what you expect and anticipate happening. Every time we went to your therapy appointments, your sessions, and you started to improve I was waiting for you to say you didn't need me anymore. I was waiting for you to say that I'm useless and mean it. In the back of my head I heard everything I wanted to hear because I felt that's what you were thinking."

"So I kept pushing it back as we sat on this bench together. I kept telling myself that it wasn't real as we ate dinner together with Misato and Penpen. I kept telling myself that life was good now, and there was nothing to ruin it. And yet I just…I couldn't shake it. I couldn't shake the feeling that sooner or later what you all would find was the boy in the pod who sacrificed everyone for a single moment before becoming the 'hero'. Now an empty pod of a person who no longer had any idea of who he was. I just couldn't. I thought running away from here and trying to make a new life for myself was the right choice. It was the selfish choice. Now I know I was wrong. I can't ask you to forgive or forget, that's your choice. All I can ask is that I get a second chance here to prove to you this time I am going to stay."

Shinji was hoping he could turn this around but was reminding himself to accept that he might not hear the answer he wanted. The moment felt like it was dragging out, the silence deafening and overwhelming for him. Rushing the moment felt wrong, but he wanted to hear something from her. Finally, she turned to look at him with the same look she had earlier. Shinji felt the sting from it.

"You can stay the night, and that's it, then you can keep being the idiot somewhere else," Asuka said, walking back to the apartment. Shinji stood there in silence, a smile of resignation on his face and a defeated chuckle punctuating it. Asuka never looked back.

-Misato-

It was all her fault was the thought lingering in her mind as she looked at the bits of food and cake littered all over the table. On the countertop she could see the unopened gifts sitting there, once reminders of a jovial and happier time now one of somber disappointment. Not long after she commanded Shinji to run after Asuka, everyone else had left the party. Even the beer in her hand tasted bitter and sour, getting Misato to consider dumping it out in the sink.

"I'd say that's pretty on brand for me," Misato said to herself, sighing as she scanned the area one last time. Penpen waddled up to her and put a fin on her leg. Miasto looked down and picked him up, holding him. Penpen didn't seem to mind, instead melting into it, "Well look at you Mr. Affectionate," a pause, before continuing, "Honestly Penpen, I thought this would go a little differently."

Everyone being crestfallen had been an understatement, and everything felt bleak for a spell. No one understood what caused him to run away, and for good this time it seemed. She remembered when everyone would gather at the house to hangout once in a while and could see how nearly everyone were asking themselves was it something they did or said. Had they done something that came off to him as rejection or pushing him away? As does all heartbreak, those feelings eroded away in time and his memory seemed to become just that – a memory. Misato and Asuka could never let it be just that, instead his room being left untouched aside from some boxes for storages. There was always the sign on his door, a physical marker that he was here too.

"So much for a party…" thought Misato to herself, scanning the area once again. She decided then to watch T.V., though really nothing was worth watching. What came on T.V. now was nothing but junk since Tokyo-3 had undergone all the events. Sure, she could catch up on the many shows she missed, but what was the point? These days, it seemed every futile attempt to create enjoyment and happiness was destroyed by the gloomy attitude of the city.

When he had left, he had, everyone slowly became depressed and looked at the situation bleakly. Instead of being grateful for the lives they still had, everyone had complained and griped about what they were going to do now with the city. No one cared for what he had done, they had taken it for granted. It was as if they expected to still be alive and not realize the fact that their lives were on his shoulders. Was that why Instrumentality was created? Would it really have been better if they had allowed it to happen? A crescendo of 'what ifs' began to play in her mind, but Misato brushed it off.

"It's late," Misato was looking at the stovetop that read 11:30, "You better have found her Shinji. I hope you were able to at least work some things through." She took Penpen into her hands to look at him with a halfhearted smile, "How about we start cleaning this up and get to bed huh? Can't let something like this change our routine can we?"

RING

Misato opened the door to find an alone Asuka wrapped in her jacket and scarf.

"Asuka," Misato was looking around to her for a minute to see if Shinji was around before continuing on, "You came back alone?"

"Don't worry, you stupid idea is going to come back later and stay the night. You two can talk amongst yourselves, do whatever you need to do but I'll be going to bed. He better be gone by the morning," Asuka said, this time bumping her shoulder into Misato in anger, "And Misato? Don't ever put me in a situation like that again, do you hear me?"

"Asuka I-," Misato started, Asuka cutting her off.

"No, Misato, there's no quelling this. I can't believe you really thought the smartest idea for this party you forced me to have was to bring that spineless, immature, bonehead, ignorant wimp back after what he did to me four years ago! What were you thinking Misato? What made you think in your head that this was the thing I'd want? Or was it just something you've been wanting and told yourself it's something I'd want?"

"Because at one point all of you wanted him back, but he never answered til now. In my head, I thought texting him would be a great idea, but at the same time thought of it more as a pointless gesture for me because he'd never answer. He never responded. I didn't even know he'd be here tonight, he just showed up."

"Save me the half-assed excuses Misato, I would expect you to do better," Asuka snapped, this time tears developing in her eyes. Asuka couldn't hold the floodgates up, "I don't care if you do things for yourself to get over losing people. We all have our ways of letting people go, but when it involves me, I should have a say shouldn't I?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right,"

"No, no guessing, Misato. I am right," Asuka said, her head lowering to look at the ground, "Right now I don't really think you get how it feels to see the one person you hoped would stay by your side disappear and then try to come back as if nothing happened. Only when I tell him multiple times how much he broke me did he finally admit what he did and it just…"

Asuka was trembling, Penpen struggling to get out of Misato's grasp to waddle over to Asuka. Misato could feel a blanket of shame covering her as she saw Asuka stifling cries of anguish. Misato started to walk towards Asuka, pulling her in to her chest and holding her while Asuka cried into her.

"I'm sorry, Asuka, I am. I should've really thought about how much pain you're still carrying," Misato said, "How about I make some tea and we sit down to talk, okay?"

Asuka pulled away from Misato and nodded. Misato began to put some dishes in the sink, deciding to leave the rest of the food in the serving trays and platters out. She boiled some water and set two cups on the table, tea bags and honey ready to go. When the kettle began to whistle, Misato took it and poured the water into both cups.

After a time, Misato finally resumed the conversation, "I'm just glad he found you."

"I'm not."

"I'm just saying I was worried you were going to catch a cold since you didn't have a jacket."

"Better than seeing that idiot."

"Did he try explaining himself to you? What did he say?"

"The usual stupid stuff he says. A myriad of excuses and no real accountability. At least he's learned a new skill; how to say the things people want to hear but don't mean them."

"You don't think he meant any of it?"

"No, I really don't, Misato, and even if he did I can't except the paltry excuses. He had three years to come back, and he didn't. I might as well take three years to accept his apology."

"I have no doubt Shinji was trying to be genuine and earnest with you, Asuka."

"Mein Gott, Misato, as the older adult I thought you would be able to discern that just because he wants to fix things or change things doesn't mean I have to accept it. Um Himmels willen, I don't understand why you're trying to help him when you directly saw how badly I was hurting Misato, how I'm still hurting no matter how much I tell myself I've worked hard to get over him."

"So you still like him?"

"What? Christ, Misato, are you just as dense as Shinji? No! I don't. Whatever feelings you thought I had for that coward were long out the window."

"Or you're just working to convince yourself of that because you don't want him to be able to hurt you again. Which is understandable," Misato thought to herself about how she pushed away Kaji, but shook it off, "Plus I know you well enough from your dossier. I can tell you never let go of that possibility for yourself."

Asuka was flabbergasted, "You know what Misato? I can't have this conversation with you. Between you and Shinji it feels like I'm stuck in a goddamn nightmare where I'm trying to be forced to consider feelings that are non-existent."

"Asuka, I won't forget that first time you opened up to me. When you asked me to take you to your physical rehab, and therapy session. It had been weeks since you'd gone to your last one when Shinji left, and we had just lost Kaji," Misato said getting up from sitting, "I remember how you told me how stupid you felt for falling for a brainless idiot like Shinji, but you couldn't help but fall for the kindness he showed. For the way he seemed to be picking himself up even after everything. I told you I thought it was more on your dependency on him that made you fall for him, but you talked about how you had feelings long before post-Third Impact. I've seen you steal glances at his door from time to time. I've even seen you have his Walkman on while sleeping, the tape has never changed. I saw you with it even a couple weeks back."

"I understand if you don't want to see him again, as he doesn't have a right to your time or you. Do what is think is best for you and only you, not what could be okay for you but good for Shinji or myself. I just want you to think on two things; if he left the next day how would you really feel, and whether or not it would be better to at least talk through it with him before he leaves?"

"I don't know Misato, I don't really see my mind changing," Asuka said with an exasperated sigh, "That feels like I'm catering to his feelings and not mine."

Misato stretched, and breathed a sigh of relief before smiling, "I understand. Don't do it if you don't want to. However if you're willing to why don't you sleep on it for now? I'll stay awake to see him in and catch up. I'll tell him to leave before 8am, so you can decide if you really want him to leave or stay. Either way, I'll support you. Now go, it's getting late and it's been a heavy day."

Asuka got up and gently placed the cup down, looking up at Misato defeated and exhausted. Her body felt heavy, and her mind wanted to shut down. She was giving it a mull over, but for now she just wanted to hole up in her room and hide.

"Gute Nacht, Misato. Thanks so much for what's been an illuminating conversation," Asuka's voice was dripping with sarcasm. Misato said nothing as Asuka walked passed her, closing her door behind her and locking it.

As she changed into her sleeping clothes, she laid on the bed and looked up at the ceiling absent mindedly. She heard Shinji come in, and heard the two of them start talking until it turned into whisper and silence graced her ears again.

Her body started to succumb to sleep, and as her mind began to follow suit she already felt like she had her answer.