Chapter 2
"I can't believe he's dead!" Roger cried. "He was such a good man!" Klaus cried too, fins covering eyes.
"Why couldn't it have been me?" He sobbed.
"Yes; why couldn't it have been the fish instead?"
"Harsh!" SpongeBob said. Klaus looked at him, calm now.
"No, no." He told him. "Roger's mean to everyone. I'm used to it." Klaus covered his eyes with his fins and cried again.
The penguins slid out then, stood up, and waddled to them.
"What's going on here?" Kitty pointed to Stan.
"Take a look for yourself." She answered, tears streaming down her fur. The penguins looked and gasped.
"Gosh!" Private said. "Poor Stan, dying at a young age. Uh, 40s are a young age to die for humans, right?"
All the cartoons didn't answer. They were all too busy crying. The penguins looked at each other, and broke out crying too. Tiff then realized something. She stopped crying, and went over to Stan She touched him.
"Wait a minute!" She said. "Stan's not dead; he's still breathing." She then noticed light pink gas seeping out of an open bottle. She picked it up, and looked at it. She showed it to all the other cartoons.
"What's this?" She wanted to know. Kowalski took a whiff and recoiled.
"That's sleeping gas." Kowalski answered. He picked up a wire on the floor that was attached to the door. "Stan must've activated it and it made him drowsy, causing him to, well… you know."
"At least he still had his pants on." Timmy observed. "That would have been embarrassing."
"Who in the heck would keep a sleeping gas in one of their bathrooms?" Klaus wanted to know. Tiff just shrugged.
"Beats me! All I know is that Stan's not dead; he's just sleeping." All the cartoons sighed in relief.
"Oh thank goodness!" Roger said. "Frannie will have a sobbing fit if Stan was really dead. Glad that's not the case then; glad that's not the case."
"Move him to the hall, and then make room so we can look for clues." Skipper ordered. Patrick and Roger carried Stan to a sofa in the Grand Hall while Kitty, Dudley, and the penguins searched the bathroom. Count Pichu and Ms. Gummle finally rushed out of the dining room and found everyone outside the bathroom door.
"What's going on here?" The count demanded. "We didn't even finish dinner! What happened to him?" He pointed to Stan.
"He passed out because of gas in your bathroom." Cosmo explained.
"What!" Count Pichu gasped.
"Sleeping gas!" Wanda added. "Did you know that was in there?"
"Sleeping gas? No, we don't even have any on the premises, as far as I'm aware." Count Pichu replied. "How odd. Ms. Gummle, did you buy any Awakening from the Pokemart last time you were in town?"
"No, sir. I'm afraid he'll have to wait it out." Ms. Gummle, Count Pichu, Patrick and Roger then joined the others outside the bathroom and watched curiously.
"Man, detecting is thirsty work." Dudley said. "I sure could use a toilet to drink out of." He then spotted the toilet in the far corner. "Hey; a toilet; how convient!" He ran to the corner, flipped up the lid, and started slurping up the toilet water. The cartoons all recoiled in disgust.
"What do you think you're doing!" Private gasped.
"Oh, sorry." Dudley apologized. "I didn't realize you were in line."
"Dudley!" Kitty scolded, disgusted. "That's disgusting! We're guests here! Why do dogs drink out of toilets? Cats are so much better with their hygiene."
"I'm NOT swimming in that water!" Klaus complained. "Eeeeew, why do kid cartoons have to be so gross and some are complete idiots? I know he's a dog, but doesn't he have any brains whatsoever?"
"The better question would be," Grimer said "Is why do adult cartoons have to be so mean?"
"Niiice!" Charmander told him. They were about to high five, when Charmander recoiled and shook his head, so they didn't. They watched with the others as Dudley drank out of the toilet.
"Um, why are we doing this?" Timmy asked a few minutes later. "Why are we watching a dog drink out of a toilet? It's unsanitary; I'm sure there are more entertaining things to do."
"Like draw stuff on Stan's face while he's sleeping!" Roger laughed, turning around. "Hey, where'd he go?" Everyone turned around, saw the sofa again and gasped; Stan was no longer there!
"Hey, where did Stan go?" Tuff wanted to know. "Wasn't he just lying here a few minutes ago?"
"Yeah." Phineas agreed, looking with the other cartoons. "I don't see him anymore. He just poofed away magically. It's like when Perry disappears all the time, only creepier."
"Hey!" Cosmo snapped. "Are you blaming us? I may be dumb, but I know when you're blaming us, and it looks like you're giving hints like it was us!" Phineas looked at him.
"I'm not blaming you." He admitted. "The way I said it might've implied that you might be the culprits I admit, but I wasn't trying to accuse you guys. I was just saying that he's disappeared somewhere."
"Oh."
"Do you think he woke up?" SpongeBob asked. "Maybe he wandered away on his own."
"That's a big negative." Skipper declared. "He got the full blast of sleeping gas. He would have been out for hours."
"Let's search the lodge." The count suggested. "If he did somehow wake up, he couldn't have gotten far." The cartoons agreed, and looked everywhere on the first level, half of the cartoons looking in the rooms on the right, and half looking in the left.
"Stan!" Roger called. "Stan? Where are you? Stan!"
"You know," Klaus told him. "If he's sleeping, he won't answer right away."
"Shut up fish; I'm trying to find Stan. He called again. "Stan!"
"I will find him with my capability of smell." Dudley said as they reentered the dining room. He then began to sniff, trying to track him.
"And what does sleeping smell like?" Tuff asked. Dudley looked at him.
"Uh…" The agent dog stammered. "Sleepy?" Kitty, Tiff, and Tuff just sighed as the dog resumed sniffing on the ground for Stan.
SpongeBob was trying to find Stan in the lounge. Patrick was just looking at all the decorations in the room.
"Uh SpongeBob?" He asked finally. "What are we looking for again?"
"Stan Smith." SpongeBob told his friend.
"Oh." SpongeBob resumed looking, and Patrick resumed looking at the decors, forgetting about the conversation that he and SpongeBob just had.
The penguins searched the kitchen frantically, but didn't find anything.
"Did you find him?" Skipper wanted to know.
"Negatory Skipper." Kowalski told him. "And the cellar door's locked, so he couldn't have gone down there." Skipper sighed.
"But we'll find him." Private said. "He has to be somewhere." Skipper smiled at him, he smiled back.
"It's cold in this room, Phineas." Isabella shivered as she, Perry and Phineas searched the conservatory, a large glass-walled room with several potted ferns.
"Doesn't look like this room is heated." Phineas observed. "The count must only use it in summer. Look, there's a swimming pool." He pointed to a large, drained pool in the center of the room.
"It's really starting to come down hard." Isabella pointed out as she saw the blizzard outside.
"Yeah. If Ferb were here, we would probably make the world's largest snowman, or have the snowball fight of the century."
"It doesn't look like Mr. Smith is in here." Isabella shivered again. "Let's go back into the hall where it's warm."
"Well, any luck?" The count asked when they met back in the Great Hall. The cartoons shook their heads.
"Aw drat! Where can he be then?"
"He didn't go upstairs." Grimer announced as he and Charmander descended the stairs. "We only looked a little, but we don't think he went in any of the rooms."
"The lodge is haunted!" Cosmo suddenly concluded, frightened. "Only ghosts could have done this! We got to get out of here!" The cartoons fled at once to the great halls' door. Count Pichu went up front, blocking the double doors.
"Wait!" He said. "I've been coming here for years, and I assure you my lodge is not haunted! You all must stay right here; nobody leaves until Sunday afternoon! Besides, ghosts don't exist. They're not real."
"Does that mean Casper's fake?" Patrick asked.
"YES! Ghosts are only to scare you, that's it! They are nothing but a figment of your imagination!"
"Boy," SpongeBob piped up. "I sure don't want to be here when you say that to the Flying Dutchman."
"Besides; look outside." The Count pulled open the curtains. The cartoons looked and gasped. It had started to snow hard, and there was three feet of snow outside.
"Whoa!" Phineas observed. "That's enough snow for a snow day!"
"Can't the snow wait to be like this until after winter break and a weekday so we don't have school?" Timmy whined. "What a rip-off!" He crossed his arms around his chest, looking disappointed. Wanda smiled.
"I suppose you don't want to go out there!" Count Pichu told them. "Ms. Gummle went outside to check if Stan went out there, and she could barely open the front door. By morning it will be even higher."
"He's right!" Charmander blurted. "There's no way I'm going out there! I'll be a goner in under just five minutes!"
"And Phineas's mom dropped us off." Isabella said. "We're just kids, so we can't drive. Somebody else will have to drive us home."
"And I still don't have a driver's license." SpongeBob added. "But I will; just you wait, I will! You just have to have faith and believe in yourself!"
"Even if you could drive, the roads are too dangerous." Klaus pointed out.
"Couldn't Timmy's godparents just poof us home?" Tuff asked.
"Sorry, but I'm afraid not." Timmy said. "Usually I'm not allowed to let anyone know I have fairy godparents. Jorgen made an exception for people not from my cartoon, but Cosmo and Wanda's magic is restricted."
"We can't teleport, for example. Even if we wanted to." Wanda explained. "If we were all in Dimmsdale it would be different, but not here."
"Then I guess the way we came is the only way we're going to leave." Tiff said. "Count Pichu, don't you have a personal snowplow or something?"
"A minor misfortune occurs and you all want to abandon me?" Count Pichu gasped. "I'm sure Stan will turn up somewhere, no need to assume the worst. Besides, we haven't even talked about investment opportuni-er, I mean, got to know each other and strengthened bonds of friendships."
"Poyo?"
"Wait, investment opportunities?" Tiff questioned. "What do you mean? I thought this was supposed to be making friends with cartoons from other shows."
"It is." The Count explained nervously. "And what better way to make those friendships than by investing in new Starr Corp enterprises in your hometowns. With your help I could expand my business into your cartoon shows, so you'd get better products and I'd get better profits. Mutual benefit, it's what friends do."
"You lied to us!" Kitty said. "I should have known you'd have had an ulterior motive for inviting us here. You just wanted to give us an investment pitch."
"Well, I didn't become a trillionaire by inviting twenty guests to a luxury lodge in the mountains without expecting something in return." Count Pichu sniffed. "There's no such thing as a free lunch, you know. This place is expensive to run."
"That's my cousim!" Pichu exclaimed happily. "He loves his money!"
"Oh, be quiet." Count Pichu snapped. "Everyone just settle down while we sort out this little fiasco, then everything can go back to normal as planned."
Isabella grabbed a hold of Phineas; she was utterly terrified.
"I'm scared Phineas." She said, her voice trembling. "What if we can't get home? I may never see my mom or dad or Pinky ever again. What if I never see the Fireside Girls? You may never see your stepbrother or the rest of your family. We can never see our friends ever again. Your mom was right; maybe we should never have come here in the first place. Oh, what are we going to do?" The poor girl then began to cry.
"Relax Isabella." Phineas reassured her. "We made it off that island, we can get out of this lodge soon enough! Remember Clay Aiken and Chaka Khan? I believe we can!"
"Oh no!" Klaus moaned. "Not that reference again! You know Boolia's stories have way too many references!"
"Hey!" Roger snapped. "Who gave you the permission to speak? That's right, nobody!"
"Again," Grimer said, "Why must adult cartoons be so mean, selfish, and hurtful? Readers, this is why you never let your kids watch shows like this until they're older. But they can watch us; we aren't hurtful or mean!"
"Yeah!" Charmander agreed. "Well, sometimes some of us do battle."
"But all in good sport." Grimer added.
"You just got to have faith Isabella, be an optimist." Isabella cheered up, and her eyes twinkled, getting lost in Phineas's eyes.
"Phineas," She spoke. "You are my knight in shiny armor."
"You mean strong, determined, and willing to never give up? Why thanks; yes, yes I guess I am your knight in shiny armor in that sense."
"She also meant you're charming and dashing." Wanda said. Phineas looked at her.
"What?" He wanted to know.
"Nothing, it's nothing."
"We need all the agents here." Dudley said, and then looked serious. "Okay, all agent cartoons line up!"
He, Kitty, and the penguins stepped forward in a line except Perry. He stayed behind. Dudley eyed the platypus. Perry looked up at him.
"I said all the agents!" He repeated. "And that means you mister!" Perry shook his head. Dudley sighed. "Come on Agent P, you're an agent, now get up here!" Perry still didn't budge. Dudley sighed again. "Perry, why are you being so stubborn?"
"Dudley!" Kitty whispered loudly to him. "His owner is present; he's protecting his cover!" Dudley looked at Phineas.
"Oh snap! Well, that was an awkward moment." Phineas and Isabella looked confused.
"What are you talking about?" Phineas asked him. "Perry's not an agent. Why does everyone says he is when he's clearly not? He's just an average ordinary platypus. They don't do much."
"You're right!" Dudley laughed nervously. "A platypus as a secret agent? That's insane; that's like saying cats, dogs, and penguins can be secret agents; talk about insanity!" The cartoons looked at him. The penguins glared at him madly. Skipper put his flippers on his hips. Dudley realized his mistake. He stopped laughing and looked ashamed. "Point taken." He then bent down, and petted Perry.
"Good job Agent P." He said. "That was a test, to see if you can keep your cover in situations like this, and you passed with flying colors! You are a true agent; congrats!" Perry gave him a look that seemed to say: 'Test? Yeah right! You wanted my cover to get blown! You're lucky that I have a brain.' Dudley stopped petting Perry, and stood back up. Roger started to cry.
"Stan would've stepped forward." He sniffed. "if he wasn't…kidnapped!" He cried and cried, face in hands. Klaus comforted him.
"Okay." Wanda said, looking at the time on her wand. "It's nine." She put her wand down. "Whether we found Stan or not, we're not leaving this lodge tonight. It's Poof's and Timmy's bedtime."
"Aw Wanda!" Timmy complained. "I can stay up late; it's not like a school night or anything. Plus, how can you think of sleep when a kidnapper might be here in this very lodge?"
"You're right." Wanda agreed. "I can't, but you know sleep is very important. You need at least eight hours of sleep each day."
"But Wanda!" Wanda narrowed her eyes at him. Timmy sighed. "Fine; we'll go to bed." He went for the stairs and grabbed on the railing. "Come on Poof."
"Poof, poof!" Poof dashed to his god brother, but not before hugging his parents goodnight.
"Good night Poof." Wanda told her baby. "We love you." Poof went to Timmy, and they went up the stairs.
"Night son!" Cosmo called after him, waving. "Don't let the bed bugs bite, because that'll be very painful;" He put his hand down, "bugs biting you as you're trying to sleep. What a rude awakening!"
"Timmy's right." SpongeBob said. "I don't think I'll be able to sleep with a kidnapper on the loose either."
"We still don't know if he was kidnapped." Count Pichu pointed out. "He might turn up tomorrow and this whole thing may have been a silly misunderstanding. If it will ease everyone's fears, I'll have Ms. Gummle report the disappearance, just in case. In the meantime, I think we should all get to sleep. We have a big day planned tomorrow. Meet me in the dining room at eight, cheerio!" He went to the stairs, the cartoons followed, except Roger (who stopped crying and looked at the disembarking cartoons) and Klaus (who stopped comforting him because he wasn't sad anymore), both with confused expressions on their faces.
"That's it?" Roger questioned. "You're all just going to go to sleep? What about Stan?" Ms. Gummle looked at him.
"What about Stan?" She asked.
"Well, we can't just say it never happened! The police have to know about this or something!"
"Hmmm, you're right." Ms. Gummle agreed. "The count has asked me to notify the police. Do you two have a cell phone?" Both of them shook their heads.
"Nope!"
"Nein, but if I did, that'll be so wunderbar; I could order pizza, and get this," He snickered at his next statement. "Because of the snowstorm, and the nearest pizza place is miles away, I get it for free! There's no dang way the pizza deliverer can deliver it in 30 minutes or less, there's just no way!" He laughed at his idea. Roger looked at him.
"You do know that the pizza will be frozen by the time it gets here." He pointed out. Klaus stopped laughing, and realized his mistake.
Ms. Gummle thought about the Stan problem and then she turned to Kitty.
"Kitty?" She asked. Kitty turned to them.
"Yes?" The cat wanted to know.
"Do you have a cell phone handy?"
"Yes."
"Can you call the police and say someone is reported missing?" Kitty looked confused.
"Yes, but why don't you call the police? I'm sure the lodge has a phone somewhere." Ms. Gummle yawned.
"Yes, but I make calls for the Count multiple times in the day. I never get a rest from the phone. Besides, the Count loves to save money, even on phone bills. I'm sure you wouldn't mind."
"Cheap." Kitty sighed, rolling her eyes. "Fine. I'll go make the call."
"Thank you. Why don't you make it on the balcony? You'll get better reception there. It's on the third floor. You can access it by going through one of the four rooms that border it."
"Okay, thanks!"
"Don't mention it." And with that, the four cartoons headed upstairs.
Once they were up, they went to their rooms. Kitty went to Dudley, SpongeBob, and Patrick's room and saw that they were out. The three of them were still brushing their teeth in the bathroom. She went through their room and out onto the balcony, wrapping her robe tightly around her because of the cold. The snow was already up to her knees. She took out her cell phone, and dialed. Someone then approached her from the shadows.
"Oh hello! What are you doing here? You shouldn't be up here. You should be…" She then got panicky. "Oh my gosh! It's you! You kidnapped Stan, but why?" She then cried for help when her attacker threw a vase at her. The vase struck her in the head and she fell to the ground, causing her to drop her cell phone. The vase made a loud SMASH!
All the cartoons (except Poof) rushed onto the balcony and gasped! Kitty was nowhere in sight; the kidnapper had struck again!