.
xoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxox
.
The show's starting! Everyone take their seats!" Rodney shouted and settled in between his pillow walls again.
"Yes, teacher," John mocked as he plopped down between Teyla and the arm of the couch. He wasn't really sure he wanted to see this. And he was pretty sure he didn't want to be with a bunch of people when he did. God knows what those reporters twisted and reshaped to fit their views. But if he had to see the damn thing, he was glad he was with his friends and family. He trusted them implicitly.
He slipped his arm behind Teyla and rested his hand on her hip, caressing the bare skin in the space between her top and bottom. She looked up curiously at this display and saw his face tilt in the direction of Rodney's Fortress of Solitude and realized the man would never even notice. Carson was not at an angle to see either and Ronon was already aware of their relationship so no big worries there. Dave and Julia had the cozy spot on the recliner again.
The show started and when the archive footage from the six or eight security cameras in the gate room came on, John heard Carson and Rodney reminisce while Julia asked, "John, where are you?"
"I'm there," John replied and sure enough a few moments after Elizabeth's opening words the screen showed the group with John standing smack dab in the middle. He had to admit that whoever had edited had done a good job. They'd zoomed in and cropped and used all the camera angles to make it seem like some professional had been filming, not some surveillance equipment strapped to a wall.
When the first close-up came, Dave commented, "You're looking pretty young there, little brother."
"It was six years ago," Rodney pointed out.
John snorted, "It's not the years, it's the mileage."
"You look as you did when we first met," Teyla said and John grinned down at her.
"That's because this is only a few hours before I met you."
Julia gasped, "You met Teyla that soon after going? I thought she lived on another planet."
"She did," John said then explained about the force shield starting to fail and needing to find help right away.
"We knew we couldn't dial back to Earth," Rodney clarified, "so John thought we should go to another planet in Pegasus. The power requirement for that was negligible."
"Athos was just randomly picked from the Ancient database," John finished. "Dr. Weir sent a few teams to scout for another ZPM or a safe place to bail in case the shield failed completely."
"John, who's that man right there?" Dave asked as he saw John conversing on the screen. "He doesn't exactly look happy with you."
John's answer was brief. "That's Sumner."
"Oh," David replied but didn't comment further as he remembered what had been said about the man previously.
Parts of the show were very difficult for John to watch. Seeing Ford and Elizabeth again just brought back another whole wave of guilt that he and Dr. Lambert had been working so hard to remove. And John hated being the center of attention but the reporters had zeroed in on his team, partly because they'd been assigned to escort them around but also because of the key roles they all played in the city.
Rodney almost squealed when they devoted a large amount of time to him and his lab and all his work. Unfortunately there was also way too much time devoted to John. They thought that being the son of wealthy industrialist Patrick Sheppard, who broke away from the family business to join the military, just made him seem so much more interesting as the Military Commander of the mythical city of Atlantis in another galaxy.
Through interviews and obtained footage, John saw them show how close his team was and all the danger they'd faced together. They'd filmed the team during routine activities and during off time, eating in the mess hall, his morning run with Ronon, standing around on the balconies overlooking the ocean.
They'd managed to get him and T.J. on camera fairly often, also; pick up time from Aleeah, eating dinner with the team, walking him to sleep in the Athosian village, they'd even managed to get him reading a bedtime story to the kid. He thought they'd been aiming the camera at Teyla during her interview but they must have done some zooming, cropping and editing to pull him and T.J. from the film.
But as he watched that part he realized the overall impression, even though it was never actually said, was that he and Teyla and T.J. were a definite family unit. The funny thing was that even though he knew they'd manipulated scenes to appear that way, he really didn't mind. He was looking forward to the day when that could actually be true.
Woolsey's interview was cut much shorter than it had been and he somehow managed to come across as far less pompous than he actually was. And the man had given credit to all the members of the expedition for the successes they had accomplished. John appreciated that.
During the commercials, Rodney complained about not enough screen time for himself, too much hero worship for John, and Zalenka getting too much credit for some of the work that he'd done.
"Are you saying Radek did not do these things?" Teyla inquired of Rodney.
"No, he did," Rodney grudgingly accepted. "But they're nowhere near as important as some of the stuff I've done. I know they had a lot more footage of me explaining my work, yet they chose to show Zalenka and his half-baked theories."
"McKay just doesn't want anyone knowing Zalenka's as smart as him," Ronon laughed.
"Oh, he so is not!" Rodney defended vehemently. "He doesn't even have a fraction of the brain power that I have."
He then looked at John and accused, "So, I thought you didn't want anything to do with this report. You're in an awful lot of it for someone who protested so much. They talk about you like you single handedly saved the world a few times."
John sent Rodney a stabbing look. "Do I appear to walking up to the camera and demanding attention, Rodney? I didn't edit the damn thing. Most of this stuff I didn't even know they were taping."
He specifically thought about the exchange between himself and Tanako late that night in the hallway outside her room. She'd been talking to the SO on duty and he'd come by on his rounds. When he'd walked away, the Marine had made some comment about, "I'm not sure Colonel Sheppard knows how to sleep." She must have had the camera inside her room, propped up somehow and turned on. There was no end to how far these people had gone to get information.
Besides the off-world excursions, the show spent some time focused on the training the military personnel go through to be prepared for combat. They'd gotten footage of Ronon with some of the Marines, Ronon with Amelia, other training exercises and they'd somehow gotten footage of John sparring with Teyla. He'd never actually seen them taping this but they usually had the door open so a zoom lens from the hall probably would have worked.
"You're looking better than you were earlier this week, John," Julia commented.
"You actually managed to do some sparring?" spouted Carson. "That's wonderful, John. See, you're almost there."
"Let me guess," Ronon said, "You kicked his ass, right, Teyla?"
"John did quite well," Teyla reported. "I was very pleased with the outcome."
Teyla looked up at John and a knowing smile lit up her face. John clearly remembered the kisses they'd shared at the end of the sparring and repeated, "Very pleased," his own grin widening. His hand on her side slid between her top and bottom to caress her skin.
Rodney got back on his favorite subject. "I wonder how many of my esteemed colleagues will be watching this tonight and finally acknowledge that I haven't just been sitting around on my assets for the past half dozen years."
He rubbed his hands together. "Oh, I really wish I could be a fly on the wall when some of them see the extent to which I've been able to use my genius ability. Hmpf, I'll bet they're all green with envy."
"I'm feeling a little green myself," John whimpered, "from the smell of all the bullshit that's being shoveled up in this room."
Rodney's face grew tight. "Mock me if you will. But you wait; I'll bet some of my old colleagues won't be quite so condescending now. Ooh! Actually now would be the perfect time to go to one of those conferences I'm always getting invited to."
His shoulders sagged. "But we have to head back to Atlantis Monday morning, don't we?"
The commercial ended and the narrator segued from the training of the troops to the enemies they faced. A few quick images of the Wraith they'd had in the holding cell were flashed on the screen with the narrator describing what these creatures do.
A short clip showed Jennifer explaining in medical terms the effects of a Wraith feeding on the human body. Next, the narrator was explaining that they actually had footage of it happening.
When a grainy image of Kolya came on the screen, an angry, "No!" echoed from John's mouth.
Dave sat up straighter and noticed how hard John's face had become and how his friends were all looking at him instead of the screen, their eyes filled with concern.
His eyes flicked back to the screen and he heard a brief explanation of the situation and saw the large man in the green uniform move to the side. Dave wasn't prepared to see his brother gagged and chained to a chair. It was too reminiscent of recent events and he now remembered John's words on the stand that it hadn't been the first time he'd been held against his will.
Dave saw John ungagged for only long enough to attempt an order not to give in to the demands. The man actually had the audacity to joke about John being his usual charming self.
Dave noticed Teyla had a hand moving back and forth on John's thigh in an effort at comfort as he started to breathe harder. When Dave saw the Wraith enter the room on the screen, his heart almost stopped. On-screen John had started breathing harder, too.
Dave wasn't sure where to put his eyes. But he found they'd become glued to his brother's tortured face as the Wraith started to feed. When on-screen John sagged in exhaustive agony, Dave moved his gaze to the real life one who didn't look in much better shape.
A quick explanation and they were showing three hours later and torture session number two where John's slight nod on-screen indicated his approval of the decision not to trade for his life. Julia's death grip on Dave's arm finally registered and he briefly glanced at his fiancée to see her tormented eyes fixated on the screen.
The man he saw looked easily ten or fifteen years older than the one sitting next to him, although the pain he saw reflected in both were not dissimilar.
When the Wraith showed up a third time on screen he saw John take an incredibly shaky breathe, push himself up and storm out of the room. A couple seconds later he heard the kitchen door slam. It took Dave a few moments to climb out of the recliner and while he did he saw the third feeding and a visibly shaky, very aged version of John on screen.
Teyla had started to get up to go after John but Dave touched her shoulder and offered, "Why don't you let me."
.
.
John stood on the porch, his forearms on the railing, trying desperately to suck some much needed air into his lungs. He still couldn't believe the reporters had gotten that footage and that they'd been allowed to air it. But he was sure they'd argued that the world had a right to see the potential threat and that the knowledge of that threat might work more toward uniting countries together. How it would affect him was of little consequence.
He closed his eyes and tried to get the image out of his head. But he could still feel the pain in his chest where the feeding scar was and the sensation of having life slowly drained away.
He thought he'd gotten past it, almost forgotten it. Weir had made him see Heightmeyer a few times after but he'd quickly convinced her he was fine. But thinking about the shrink right now just piled more guilt for her death on top of the agony that pounded inside him.
He needed to pull himself together; it had been over three years since the incident and it shouldn't still bother him this much. So why did it? Maybe because he wasn't as immune to extreme trauma as he thought he was. Lambert was always telling him he was human like everyone else and that it was okay to have feelings, and to actually show them. Apparently Lambert had never met his Dad.
John heard the door behind him and took another deep breath, trying to get his quivering insides to settle down enough to face whoever it was.
.
Dave saw that John hadn't gone far. He was leaning on the railing, his hands clasped together and his head resting on them. His shoulders moved up and down heavily. He wasn't sure what he should say or do. He'd just seen his brother in pain and knew he needed to offer some comfort. He was proud of himself for even realizing this. Six months ago he probably would have been oblivious.
He moved closer and tentatively touched John's shoulder. "John," he whispered. "I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do for you?"
John pushed himself up slightly so his hands now gripped the railing and gave a slight shake of his head.
"I, uh …just needed some air. It's, um …kind of stuffy inside."
Dave thought of the air conditioned house versus the warm outside but knew John wasn't really talking about temperature or atmospheric conditions.
"I had no idea," Dave admitted. "God! It looked painful!" He wasn't sure he should even say anything but that sort of just popped out.
John's eyes closed and he gave a quick nod. "It was."
Dave was left speechless again but he felt he needed to try. "John, I uh, … if you …"
John turned slowly and looked at his brother. "I know … thanks."
Dave looked relieved that John understood what he'd wanted to say but felt there was still more he should say.
"I don't know how you do it. I've come to realize, John that you're just about the strongest person I know. What you've been through, then and the last five months… I don't think I could do it."
John turned all the way around and leaned back against the railing. "You could," he declared. "You're just as stubborn as I am. Dad made sure of that."
Dave chuckled. "Dad said we'd be thankful one day for him being so tough on us. I guess he was right."
John chuckled, too. "Who knew we'd need it to recover from a life-sucking alien."
They both laughed at that and Dave knew he had helped a little bit in getting John to come out of the dark hole he'd just crawled into. He put his hand on John's shoulder again.
"You gonna be all right?
John gave a big sigh. "Yeah, I'll be fine. I always am. I'm just gonna get a bit more air before I come back in, if that's okay."
Dave nodded and squeezed John's shoulder. "Take your time."
When Dave got back into the den a commercial was just starting.
"What'd I miss?" Dave asked lightly.
Five pairs of concerned eyes turned in his direction with an assortment of; "How is he?" "Is he all right?" "John okay?" "What's up with Sheppard?" floating in his direction.
Dave shrugged and moved back to the recliner with Julia. "He says he's fine and just needs some air."
"He always says he's fine, even when he's not," Ronon grumbled.
"And after that Wraith thing?" Julia asked. "Did he say he was fine after that?"
They all nodded and Carson added, "Physically he was. Aside from the feeding scar, there wasn't a thing wrong with him."
"Weir even ordered him to see Heightmeyer a few times," Ronon said. "He was definitely pissed about that."
"The base psychologist," Rodney filled in for a confused Dave and Julia.
"There's no way you go through something like that unscathed," Julia said. "I can't believe he kept that all inside."
Teyla leaned forward on the couch. "I did have one … interaction with him shortly after he returned."
"Really?" Rodney asked. "You never told us."
"I do not tell you everything, Rodney," Teyla grinned. "However this was so slight it was not worth mentioning. The day after his return I found him on the Northern Pier. His eyes were focused far on the horizon and he looked pensive. I almost retreated so as not to disturb him but he had heard my footsteps and turned."
Teyla paused briefly then continued, "I expressed my relief that he had survived and told him of my horror and fears as we watched him being fed upon. My emotions took hold of me and I moved into his arms for comfort. John is usually very uncomfortable with any display of emotion but this time it did not seem a burden to him. His arms pulled me in and I truly believe he received as much comfort from the embrace as I did. I did not share this at the time as I knew that John would not want anyone to think him weak."
The commercial break ended and the show came back on. Dave thought he heard the kitchen door again and shuffling that stopped near the den. There was quiet for a few minutes as several interviews played on the screen interspersed with scenes from some market place in a faraway galaxy.
The shuffles started up again and a minute later he heard soft strains of the piano float in. It was just as well that John had not come back in as the reporters had edited together the footage from when he had gotten injured, including when he'd collapsed on the jumper floor unable to move.
They had made John out as the hero coming to their rescue in the nick of time with a spray of bullets and then taking the brunt of the attack while they escaped. But Dave knew John had said if the reporters had listened to him and Teyla in the first place, he never would have gotten hurt. They'd somehow neglected to put that part in.
The last part of the show was John's interview with Emmett Bregman here at the house. Bregman's voice-over narrated the long road John still had and the dedication and determination he had to recover. He then pointed out that these were the kind of people who populated Atlantis and then he rambled a bunch of bull about how great it was for all the nations to work together and be a part of this great adventure.
The film showed John rolling his wheelchair out of the room, something Dave was pretty sure John didn't know they were filming, and it morphed into the Stargate, like that's where he was going. Dave knew John would hate this part. His brother tried to stay in the shadows if he at all could.
He could still hear the sounds coming from the living room. The others apparently heard it, too.
"Is that John playing?" Rodney asked, intrigued. "I couldn't believe the video Teyla brought back showing him play. He never let on that he knew how."
"Whenever he was upset," Dave began, "he used to go play. He got his anger out on the keys. I think my Dad used to piss him off just to get him to practice."
Rodney's eyebrows rose at this and he got up and walked toward the music. The others followed a step behind.
"You know, Sheppard," Rodney complained from the doorway, "I can't believe you never told us you could play the piano."
John stopped playing and looked at McKay as he moved closer to the large instrument. "It's not like we have a piano on Atlantis."
"No," Rodney returned. "But I told you I could play, you should have told me."
John made a face at his friend. "What was the point, McKay? I hadn't played in years."
"That's because your Dad wasn't around to get you upset," Rodney told him.
John's eyes narrowed. "What are you talking about?"
"Your brother said…"
"Oh, Dr. McKay," Dave interrupted, "you probably shouldn't have told him that."
"Told me what?" John demanded as he watched everyone else join them in the formal room.
Ronon answered bluntly, "Your Dad used to piss you off so you'd practice."
"You knew this?" John accused Dave, his eyes glaring.
"He never actually told me he did it on purpose," Dave denied. "But a few weeks before the recital when you were supposed to do 'Flight of the Bumblebee', Dad got real mad at you for leaving one of the horses out, remember?"
"Yeah, I remember," John ground out. "Because I hadn't done it!"
"I know. I did," Dave confessed then started again before John could say anything more. "And I told Dad I did. And I asked him why he didn't go tell you he was wrong."
"Because Dad never admitted he was wrong!" John spat out.
"No," Dave contradicted. "He told me you'd practice better if you were mad at him. That you always practiced better that way."
John just sat staring at his brother not knowing what to say, especially in front of his friends. But he almost didn't care that they were here. He found, right now, he needed some information from Dave.
"Why would Dad do that? He never cared if I could play. Mom was the one who wanted us to take lessons. And I remember that performance." John took a deep breath. "It was the first one we did after Mom died."
"You're wrong that Dad didn't care," Dave said. "He cared a lot once he realized how good you were. You should have seen him, lapping up all the compliments after the show. Everyone couldn't tell him enough how great you were. You didn't realize because you'd already left to go sulk in the car."
John's eyes glimmered with mischief. "I wasn't sulking in the car. Mark Phillips had managed to steal some beer without his old man finding out. We were out back drinking 'em."
Dave's eyes popped. "You were barely fifteen, what the hell were you thinking? Dad would have killed you if he'd found out."
"Well, he didn't find out," John stated. "I didn't want to go to the stinkin' recital so I figured if I had to go I was gonna get something out of it. Besides, he practically broke my arm dragging me out to the car, what else could he do to me?"
"Plenty!" Dave answered.
Teyla looked concerned. "Would your father truly have injured you?"
John shook his head quickly. "No," he assured her. "He never physically hurt us. He'd yell and scream for a while then ground us for a couple of years, and then he'd make us do something really nasty like muck out the stalls for a few weeks."
Teyla looked confused so Julia translated, "Clean up the horse poop."
Teyla smiled at the image of a young John performing this duty.
John shook his head again, this time with a half grin on his face. "I can't believe he did that." He turned around and plunked out a tune.
"Ooh!" Rodney squealed. "We could play a duet. I used to be pretty good you know."
John looked doubtful but moved over on the bench and said, "Okay, start playing something and I'll join in."
Everyone grabbed a seat as Rodney complained, "I can't just play anything. What if you don't know the song? You can't have memorized every piece of music there is."
"He doesn't need to know the music to play it," Dave informed him. "Trust me. Just play."
It was Rodney's turn to look skeptical but his fingers warmed up with a quick scale then he started something classical he remembered from his own days of lessons. John listened for a few counts of eight then added his own notes to Rodney's. They weren't exactly the same but the tune was complementary and added a lot to the overall quality of the music.
When they ended, Rodney was mystified. "How the heck did you do that Sheppard? Had you played that before?"
John shook his head. "I don't even know what the song was. I just added something with a similar beat and timing that wouldn't overpower what you were playing."
"It was wonderful!" Julia praised.
John and Rodney turned around to realize Teyla had gotten the video recorder and had it aimed at them. John turned back around and started singing to his new tune.
"Old MacDonald had a farm, E I E I O."
Rodney laughed but his fingers joined John's on the keys. "And on that farm he had a pig, E I E I O."
Teyla laughed also but continued to tape. She knew Torren would enjoy it immensely.
.
.
xoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxox xoxoxoxoxo
.
The wind howled and pelted the rain against John's face, stinging his skin. The little communicator in his hand vibrated with Kolya's threat. "Dr. Weir is dead if you don't disconnect the grounding rods."
John started running through the corridors, bullets flying past him as he dodged Kolya's men. A door in front of him opened and he saw a pedestal table in front of him. This must be what he needed.
He looked at the design and saw nine tiles to one side. He picked them up and started placing them on the three by three grid on the table. He reached out to place his hands on the outlines on each side when he heard a warning.
"Don't do it, Sir! It'll kill you if you're wrong."
He looked toward the voice and his breath caught in his throat when he saw Ford and Teyla with their hands behind their heads in surrender. Kolya was standing behind them with a gun.
"Choose and go, Colonel!"Kolya demanded but Ford argued, "He's only a Major."
Kolya just moved the gun closer to his team and demanded, "Choose and go!"
John looked again at the tiles and moved his hands into position. Immediately large metal bands clamped around his wrists. He started to panic and pull on his hands but they were stuck tight.
"You were wrong," Rodney said by his side. "You should have listened to me."
John pulled at his hands once more and yelled, "McKay, get me out of this!"
He could hear Ford and Teyla calling for him and Kolya's cackling laugh echoing in the chamber. He pulled at his hands again and saw that they were now at his sides and he was strapped to a chair.
Kolya was talking into some sort of camera. "If you want him back, Dr. Weir, I'll need lots of C-4."
"Forget it, Kolya!" Elizabeth's voice came through the device. "You won't get anything from us. Sorry, John."
John tried to respond but he found he suddenly had a gag around his mouth.
"If that's the way you want it then," Kolya returned then looked at the Wraith who was now standing in front of John. "Take your fill!"
John looked up with panicked eyes and saw Todd raise his hand in preparation to feed. John tried to yell but the gag prevented it.
As Todd lowered his hand toward John's chest he said, "You are strong, John Sheppard, the strongest human I have fed upon. Your strength will now be mine."
And with that he thrust his hand upon John's chest and intense pain ripped through him. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't yell; he could only sit there with agony lancing through his entire body. It was almost over, he would soon be only a dried out husk.
The pain stopped and he was on his knees and his hands were now out to his side, held with strong rope by two of Kolya's men.
"Give me the codes, Colonel!" Kolya demanded as he stood in front of John with a lethal looking knife.
"Forget it!" John spat out. The gag had disappeared.
"Okay, Johnny Boy, we do this the hard way," and Kolya lifted the knife and brought it down to slice through John's wrist.
The pain was excruciating and John fell forward only to be kicked over and propped against a tree, his severed limb cradled against his chest, oozing blood.
"Come on, Colonel, last chance." Kolya's voice roused him again. "Be a good boy and I might let them live."
John looked up and there, in the middle of the village square, were Rodney, Carson, Ronon and Teyla. They were all on their knees, guns pointed at their heads.
"Leave them alone, Kolya!" John warned. "It's me you want."
"What I want, Sheppard," came Kolya's ice cold voice, "is to see you suffer."
He slapped John across the face a few more times.
"But you can take more abuse than any man I've ever known. So, looks like I'll have to make you suffer in a different way."
He walked over to the four people on their knees and one by one pulled the trigger until they were all lying on the ground, puddles of blood spreading out beneath them.
"Nooo!" John screamed and tried to move toward them but found hands holding him back. He struggled and grabbed at the arms that held him.
"John! John! You must wake up!" Teyla shook him vigorously. She had awoken several minutes ago with a sense of dread she could not explain. After a brief moment of meditation she had realized it was coming from John.
She had rushed in here to find him thrashing about on the bed, his face contorted in anguish. His ramblings made little sense until she heard what sounded like, "Kolya."
After the news program tonight she was not surprised that John was reliving that particular nightmare. As she brought him to wakefulness, he grabbed her arms and bolted upright in bed, his face damp and filled with emotional pain.
"John, you are fine now," she reassured him. "It was only a dream."
His breathing was harsh and his chest heaved up and down as silent lucidity finally appeared on his face.
"Teyla!" he rasped in a voice filled with gravel.
His eyes devoured her and he continued, "You're okay! You're okay!" his voice filled with relief.
"I am fine," Teyla promised him. "My concern is for you, John. You were having a nightmare."
His breathing was still labored and heavy but his grip on her arms loosened.
"I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" His hands ran gently up and down her arms.
Her hands moved to frame his face and push the dampened hair from his forehead. "I am unharmed."
When John realized Teyla was truly okay, his relief was almost more than he could take in his highly emotional state. He pulled her into his arms and buried his face in the crook of her neck. She held him back, stroking his hair and whispering reassurances to him, as she sometimes did when Torren awoke distraught from a bad dream.
After a few minutes of comfort, John pulled back slightly and whispered, "Thanks, Teyla. I'm sorry I whigged out on you there."
"There is no need to apologize. It is hardly surprising you had a nightmare after seeing the news show. Do you think you will be able to go back to sleep now?"
John pulled his legs up past Teyla and dropped them over the edge of the bed. His hands rubbed at his eyes and then his entire face. He pushed himself off the bed and took a wobbly step to the dresser. He plucked out a pair of cotton pajama pants and quickly slipped them on.
He moved toward the door and Teyla followed him. He put his hands on Teyla's shoulders and said, "Thanks for coming to my rescue."
He placed a kiss on her forehead. "Why don't you go back to bed? I'm gonna sit up for a little while."
Teyla pushed at the hair hanging in his face again. "I would be willing to sit up with you; unless you prefer to be alone."
"Are you sure?" John asked. "I'd love some company but it's really late."
"I do not mind at all," Teyla smiled at him. "And perhaps there might be some small reward for my sacrifice."
"A reward, huh?" John said as they walked toward the kitchen. "Hmm, let me think."
He pulled out a pan, poured some milk in it and set it on the stove. "Some people swear by warm milk to help them sleep. My thought is if you're going to have warm milk it should have some cocoa in it. It's really more of a wintertime thing but you said reward and I figured, why not!"
Teyla watched as John scooped several spoonfuls of brown powder into the pan and stirred. "So my reward is this … warm cocoa?"
John nodded. "You'll love it."
When it was done they carried it to the kitchen table and sat side by side to drink it. John asked Teyla for some stories from when she was a child since Dave seemed to be freely doling out so many of his.
Teyla smiled and began telling him about her parents and some of the things they had done together. She tried to avoid anything too sad or tragic and concentrated on some of her friends and early adventures they'd had.
"I'll bet you were a handful," John guessed.
Teyla grinned. "There were times I did not always follow my parent's rules. Like your story, I, too, snuck some Ruis wine with a friend when I was much too young to enjoy it."
"What happened? Did you get caught?"
"Not at the time, no. But we ignored the warnings we had always heard and consumed a greater quantity than we should have."
"Did you end up singing old Army songs like I did the first time I had that stuff?"
Teyla smiled widely at that memory. She knew she had fallen a little more in love with him at that time.
"No, we drank far too much in a very short period of time. We became extremely ill."
"Puked, huh?"
"I believe that is what you call it," Teyla confirmed. "It was many seasons before I dared even take another sip."
At that she took a last sip of the frothy chocolate mixture in front of her. John put his elbow on the table and leaned his head against his hand, staring straight at her. He noticed she had a trace amount of chocolate on her upper lip and he felt it was his duty to help her get rid of it.
He moved closer and pulled her head toward his. "You still have chocolate on your lips," he whispered as his tongue poked out and licked it away.
His mouth completely covered hers as his arms pulled her even closer. Their lips danced to the rhythm of their hearts for what seemed like an eternity. When they finally pulled apart, Teyla gasped for air.
"That is more of what I had in mind for a reward."
"Really?" John's eyes glowed with mischief. "Why didn't you say so?"
"I enjoyed the cocoa as well," Teyla added with a smile.
She moved the mugs to the sink as John limped into the den. When she joined him there, he was sitting in the recliner with a quilt he'd taken from his room, in his hands. She looked at him questioningly.
"I'm just gonna sit in the chair, maybe put the TV on. You should probably get some sleep. I appreciate your sitting up with me for a while."
Teyla knew the effects of the nightmare had not quite worn off and John was apprehensive about closing his eyes again. She also knew he would never admit it.
"Is there room on that seat for me, as well? I would be more than happy to drive away any more nightmares that wander by."
John just rolled his eyes that Teyla had known what was going on in his mind. He moved over and after shutting off the kitchen lights, she sat next to him. He leaned the recliner all the way back and clicked the TV on with the remote.
He found an old black and white movie and lowered the volume. This way Teyla might fall back asleep even though he knew he probably wouldn't.
"This quilt is quite beautiful," Teyla commented as John spread it out over them.
"My Mom made it when she was sick. She was determined to finish it before she …" John paused and gave an audible swallow. "She made sure she finished it."
Teyla curled up on her side, resting in the crook of John's arm, her head on his chest. His right hand found its way between her pajama top and bottom and caressed the smooth skin of her back. Teyla's right hand repeated the pattern on John's chest. After a few minutes, Teyla's hand stopped and John knew she had drifted back to sleep. His left hand lifted to encircle her completely and he leaned down to press his lips to the top of her head.
The nightmares had been so real, partly he figured because he had really lived them. Okay, so not all at once and not exactly as he'd dreamed but they had definitely shaken him, especially when Kolya had killed all his friends. His arms closed tighter around Teyla and the feel of her rhythmic breathing made John relax more than he had all night.
When he got back to Atlantis, or maybe he should say if, … no, think positive, when he got back, he hoped this thing with Teyla would continue to go forward. He could think of nothing nicer than going to sleep each night with her warm body snuggled up next to him like they were right now. But he still wasn't one hundred percent so he needed to focus on that goal first.
His eyes moved to the screen but the comfort of Teyla cuddled right up against him relaxed him so much, his own eyes drifted closed again, this time in sweet slumber.
.
.
xoxoxoxox xoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxo
.
"If I ever complain about life being hard, would you remind me of that program last night and all that your brother and their friends have gone through," Julia instructed her fiancé as they came down the stairs and entered the kitchen early Sunday morning.
"Yeah, I know," David agreed and nodded at her. He pulled her in for an embrace and a quick kiss and said, "Definitely an eye opener and I knew a lot of that stuff. It still amazes me, the strength John has, even after seeing what he's accomplished over the past five months"
Julia reached up for another kiss. "He's got a pretty amazing brother, too."
She untangled herself and moved away saying, "I'm just going to peek and see if anyone's stirring down here."
She moved to the door of the den and looked at the rooms beyond. The doors were ajar and the TV was on but there was no sign of life. She moved into the room and heard a faint sound directly to her left. A smile came to her face as she saw John and Teyla in the recliner. Teyla was half laying on John whose arms were securely wrapped around her.
The quilt from John's room lay over them askew. Julia glanced back into the kitchen and got David's attention. He looked in, smiled then dragged Julia back with him.
"Let them rest. I can't imagine John slept very well last night, not after seeing himself tortured on national TV."
Julia nodded. "It looks like Teyla helped him out though. It's a good thing she was here. I don't imagine you'd be too happy if I had to snuggle with him like that on the recliner."
She gave him a sassy grin and he swatted her on the behind. "Oh, you are a handful of trouble, you know that, woman."
Julia sidled closer and wrapped her arms around David's neck, pressing tightly against him. "And you love it!" she purred.
David couldn't disagree. His arms followed suit and his lips lowered to hers.
.
xoxoxo xoxoxo xoxoxox
.
John could feel consciousness beckoning but he didn't want to listen. He felt safe and warm and he'd had the most incredible dream of Teyla pressed closely against him.
As he awoke a bit further he felt a weight on his chest and something incredibly soft in his hands. This brought him awake faster than usual and he realized Teyla truly was right there with him. He remembered the nightmares and the hot cocoa and Teyla volunteering to chase away his monsters. He hadn't thought he'd fall asleep again but apparently he had.
He took inventory, noting Teyla's head on his chest, one hand just south of his naval and the other one felt like it was resting near his thigh. He didn't dare move as her legs were intertwined with his and one of them was awfully close to a very delicate area.
His own hands he discovered were wrapped around Teyla. His left had found its way under her top to rest on her rib cage, his thumb dangerously close to her breast. His right hand lay on her back but his fingers had somehow found their way under the waistband of her bottoms. He figured after all that work, they should be rewarded.
They started moving, caressing her silky skin and John closed his eyes and softly groaned at the unbelievable sensation. He could tell Teyla was starting to wake up as well when her hand started to explore also. When it dipped lower, under his waistband, John sucked in a huge breath and shifted onto his side.
"Oh, that's dangerous territory, sweetie. You might want to rethink that."
Teyla paused for a moment then moved her hand up John's chest and shifted so they were lying face to face. Her eyes opened fully and a half smile played about her lips.
"Did you just call me sweetie?"
John's eyes narrowed in recollection then opened in surprise. "Oh, I think I did. It … just … kind of … came out. I didn't actually think about doing it."
Teyla pressed her lips briefly to his and whispered, "I do not disapprove."
"Good," he whispered back then forgot what they'd been talking about when he felt one of her legs sliding between his and the other one drape over his hip. His hands immediately moved back to their former location as his mouthed latched onto hers.
Her hands also roved and explored as their mouths fought for dominance over the other. After a while John's mouth pulled away from Teyla's and worked its way down her neck.
It was cruising even lower when he heard a very obvious cough and a deep, "You're in the den, little brother," and then a set of footsteps moving away.
John stilled instantly, as did Teyla but where Teyla blushed and hid her head in John's chest, John just laughed.
Teyla's head popped up, indignant. "John!"
He pulled her in for a quick hug and apologized. "I'm sorry Teyla, I wasn't laughing at us. It's just that when Dave and I were teenagers and we'd bring a girl home, we'd each try and embarrass the other with that exact line, if things got a little hot and heavy."
John pushed the chair back to a sitting position and asked, "Are you okay?"
"I am fine," Teyla assured him. "I am just embarrassed that I completely forgot where we were."
John grinned and winked, "That just means I was doing something right."
Teyla laughed and pushed herself out of the chair.
.
.
A few hours later, John and Teyla were sitting in a pew with Dave and Julia, and John was thinking this hadn't been such a good idea. He'd totally forgotten that a few million other people had also seen the Atlantis report last night showing him quite often and announcing he was the son of Patrick Sheppard.
Teyla had gotten plenty of airtime, too, and now he was sitting in the middle of a large church, feeling like everyone's eyes were on them. He knew he wasn't just imagining it either. Many people blatantly stared, whispered behind their hands or even pointed at him and Teyla.
When they were sharing the Sign of Peace, more people than usual made it a point to shake their hands. He'd barely had a chance to give Teyla and Julia a quick kiss on the cheek and shake Dave's hand when others from several pews over were reaching for them.
And it took forever for them to actually get out of church. Dave and Julia usually chatted quite a bit on their way out but just last weekend none of the sycophants had cared a hoot who he or Teyla were. Talking to the great and powerful David Sheppard was their only goal. Today, every one of them insisted on being introduced.
And they all felt the need to touch Teyla somehow. The worst part was how they stared at her, dissecting her, looking for some sign that she wasn't human. None of them actually said it but you knew the conversation for the next few weeks would be that they had met, touched and talked to an alien.
When they finally made it out of the church, John groaned when he saw the crowd outside that had yet to disperse as they usually did. Quite a few people were on their cell phones and a few were even pointing them in his direction, using the built in camera no doubt.
Teyla was taking it all in stride, or so he thought. As he moved unsteadily down the few steps, his cane in one hand Teyla's arm in the other, she suddenly grabbed hold of him. His head turned in the direction she was looking and he groaned at the sight. More freakin' reporters! It was only one camera and someone with a microphone but he looked familiar and John thought he worked for one of the bigger news outfits.
He let out a loud whistle he hoped Dave would remember from when they were kids and nodded towards the approaching news team. Dave normally thrived on dealing with the press but one look at John and Teyla's worried faces and he knew today wasn't the day for an interview.
He quickly said goodbye to the couple he was chatting with and moved toward the SUV. John and Teyla were trying to get through the crowd as well. They'd almost made it when the reporter intercepted them.
"Colonel Sheppard, Frank Madigan, with the CBS News affiliate. Can I ask you a few questions?"
"No," John shook his head. "Not now." He didn't want Teyla exposed to this and he really didn't want to talk to the guy either. It was his kind who had completely screwed up the last five months of his life!
"Teyla Emmagen!" Madigan called as John tried to move Teyla closer to the car.
"How are you enjoying your visit to Earth? Is this your first trip here?"
Teyla looked confused but her common courtesy had her answering, "Your planet is impressive but I have only experienced a very small part of it."
"How long are you here for?" Madigan threw another question at her.
As Dave got closer and managed to unlock the car doors, he lobbed one at John from his position right beside him.
"When will you be going back to Atlantis again, Colonel?"
John nudged Teyla toward the open back door and took the few shaky steps he needed to get there, too. As he lifted the cane to climb in, he shot back acidly, "When I can walk again."
As soon as he was in, Dave put the car in gear and slowly pulled out of the parking lot. John leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He felt Teyla's hand cover his and squeeze.
Once they were on the road, Julia turned around and asked, "Are you two all right?"
Teyla was quick to respond. "I am unharmed. John?" Her hand squeezed his again.
"I'm fine," he softly growled. "I just hate those damn vultures. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't be in this shape."
"And you wouldn't have spent all this time with David and me!" Julia chirped happily although he knew she was by no means insinuating his 'accident' was a good thing.
He gave a slight chuckle and closed his eyes again. His sleep last night had been sporadic at best and even though it was only mid-morning, he was really tired. He felt Teyla lean against him and realized she'd been up a good deal of the time that he had been. She was probably tired, too.
His arm moved behind her and he held her close until they got home.
As they approached the driveway, John heard Dave mutter a quiet, "Damn!" and he opened his eyes to see several news vans parked by the road. Luckily none of them had been gutsy enough to actually go up the driveway.
When they got in the house, Dave excused himself to make a few calls. He needed to arrange for some extra security to patrol the grounds and keep the reporters at bay.
Carson, Rodney and Ronon were at the kitchen table, each with a cup of coffee in front of them.
"Are you hungry?" Julia asked. "I can throw together some breakfast."
"Rodney's always hungry!" John joked and his friend balked at the statement.
"I am not always hungry," Rodney defended then added, "Although I do happen to be hungry right now."
Chuckles went through the room. John dropped into a chair near Ronon and Teyla joined them a minute later with a cup of coffee for John and tea for herself.
"Thanks, Teyla!" John smiled and took a cautious sip of the steaming brew.
"Oh, Rodney! You made this, didn't you?" John grimaced.
"Yeah, how'd you know?" Rodney asked.
"Because it's lethal," John replied and looked toward Ronon and Carson. Okay, never mind Ronon, the man had a cast iron stomach and could eat or drink pretty much anything.
When John's eyes landed questioningly on Carson, the doctor smirked and said, "I made myself a lovely cup of tea."
John looked longingly over at Teyla's cup and mumbled, "That might have been the better option."
Teyla took pity on him and offered, "Would you like me to get you a cup of tea, John?"
"Tempting," John answered, "But no, you sit and enjoy yours. I need the caffeine."
He took another sip and made an exaggerated face.
"Oh, suck it up, Sheppard!" Rodney whined. "It's good for you. It'll put hair on your chest."
"Just what he needs is more of that!" Julia chuckled as she placed plates and silverware in the middle of the table. "Food in about five minutes."
Teyla got up to help Julia bring it to the table. Dave showed up a minute later as they began eating.
"The security company will have half a dozen men here within the hour to make sure those reporters stay off the property."
"You know the phone rang a few dozen times while you were away," Rodney announced. "I didn't pick up but you could hear some of the messages being left. Most of them were from reporters and news stations."
"Yeah, I checked the messages while I was in the office. One of them was from Uncle George." Dave looked across at John. "He seemed a little P.O.'d that we didn't tell him his nephew had been living on a different planet in another galaxy."
John just smirked and chewed a bite of pancake. "I can call him later if you want," John offered. "I'll just remind him how he and Dad always used to say I must have been from a different planet."
Dave's smile grew wide at the memory and he nodded at John.
.
.
The rest of the day was spent relaxing and enjoying the company of all. Dave ended up shutting off the phone to avoid the constant ringing. The pool was used for a while then Dave showed Ronon and Teyla how to play football.
Julia, Carson and John all joined in while Rodney opted to sit in the shade of a large umbrella on the porch. After his knee buckled a few too many times, John decided to join Rodney with a beer. He handed one to his friend then sat with his own.
Rodney tried to refuse but John simply said, "Drink it!"
Rodney stopped complaining and took a sip. "That bothers you doesn't it?" he said cryptically.
John looked puzzled. "What are you talking about?"
Rodney pointed to the others running around on the grass beyond the pool.
John just sighed then shrugged. "That I can't play to that level? I won't lie, yeah, it does. But when Teyla and T.J. were here a few months back I couldn't even stand up. I guess I have to keep remembering that."
"Last time I saw you," Rodney reminded him, "you weren't able to move or talk at all. And that was only five months ago."
John smiled and nodded again. "Yeah."
Silence took over as they watched the others frolic around the yard. Rodney looked uncomfortable and John wondered why. Finally Rodney took a deep breath and said, "I'm sorry, John."
John's eyes blinked a few times as he looked at his friend. "Why? What'd you do?"
Rodney continued to look uncomfortable. "I haven't been there for you during your recovery. I should have been. You've always been there for me. When I got zapped by that Ancient machine and got superpowers, you were right there for me. When I got that parasite in my head and reverted to a childlike, babbling idiot, you never gave up on me. But when you really needed someone to help you through this, I wasn't there. I should have been."
He looked up at John looking for forgiveness.
"Rodney," John just shook his head and gave him a tiny smile. "We were on different planets, heck different galaxies. It's … fine."
Rodney shook his head. "No, no it's not fine. You've been an unbelievable friend to me and I don't have a whole lot of those. And I wasn't there for you. I should have been."
"Rodney!" John interrupted his friend's litany. "You're here now," he said firmly. "And that means a lot to me. Thank you!"
Rodney gave a doubtful smile but John thought he looked relieved.
"Besides, you sent me all those long, rambling e-mails. Those helped, they really did. They pulled me back to sanity a few times when I thought I was gonna lose it. So you were here for me, Rodney, just … not physically."
Rodney wasn't sure if he believed him or not but he hated feeling guilty, so he did.
He watched John for the next few minutes. He was keeping his eyes on the group as they played football. There was definite longing there and Rodney, again, felt guilty that John had been stuck here working his butt off just to get his body working normally again and they'd all been on Atlantis together.
Not that being on Atlantis had been any kind of a picnic. They'd all had dealings with the Wraith, a few problems with some rogue Genii and the bazillion other difficulties with trying to power a city that large, find food for all her inhabitants and diplomatically deal with the myriad other planets and people of the Coalition.
But their team had been together, well all except John. And Rodney had Jennifer and Ronon had been spending a good deal of time with Amelia and Teyla… Well Teyla didn't have Kanaan anymore but she did have Torren.
And he'd heard more than a few guys speculating on when Teyla would start dating and who it would be. They were all hoping they'd be the one, so she'd had no shortage of willing company. But she was a Mom now, maybe she was past the whole dating thing. Or she just needed more time to get over Kanaan.
He'd never really asked her about it. He'd just accepted when she'd told him the guy was no longer in the picture. Maybe he should be a better friend and see if she needed to talk about it. But he knew she and Jennifer had plenty of gab sessions so maybe he should ask Jennifer first if Teyla would want him to bring it up. And maybe she wouldn't and he'd be off the hook.
Especially since Teyla wasn't one to wear her emotions on her sleeve. She and Sheppard were a lot alike in that respect. Rodney chuckled to himself. Maybe those two should get together; they have so much in common. Of course if they did, they'd never actually tell each other how they felt.
He smiled again at his little joke and looked at Sheppard again. He was still staring at the others, a wistful expression on his face. Rodney got up, walked into the house and brought John another beer.
.
.
xoxoxoxox xoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxo