Hot Damn its Chapter Four! If you don't already know, this is Phases of Accidia, my little collection of one-shots for the Slasher Prince himself!
First things first, it has been brought to my attention by my new internet BFF Mr. Skye-tan that my last chapter was actually more centered on Fran and Squalo. My answer: Holy crap, I didn't even notice! Bel was supposed to be the main focus, but my desire to rape Fran came right through lol Sorry, I'll try to be more aware of that in the future, but I know it'll happen again cause I love all the Varia guys ('cept Levi because he's a hairy twat). Ahem, so in closing, Phases of Accidia willl be MOSTLY centered on Bel, with random appearances by everyone else. Phew, I think that covered me for now.
P.S. –You totally got the cookie Mr. Skye-tan. *wink*
Blahblah…what else did I need to say? Oh yeah, for this chapter…Pervy Bel is pervy and Levi questions his sexuality. Yep. So I guess that's one-sided Bel x Levi (EWWW. Those two names should never have an 'x' between them in any context but humorous ones!)
Okay I'm done babbling. P.O.A. or DIE~!
Disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn is owned by Akira Amano. I'm just a humble college student with crappy laptop writing for fun.
IV. Sexy Legs
Levi was sitting alone in the upstairs lounge in the northern wing of the Varia Headquarters, humming contentedly. It was nice to have the place to himself for once. Everyone else, he assumed, was either out on assignment, running errands, or was just generally absent from the base. With his arms resting along the back of the sofa and remote in hand, he turned on the 42" plasma screen, flipping idly through the channels, until finally settling on the Discovery Channel. It was a program about the social complexities of dolphins.
"Aside from humans, dolphins are the only other mammals that have sex for social reasons, this is to maintain a close bond-"
At that moment, the heavy wooden door to the lounge was opened, and Belphegor strolled in leisurely, usual smile plastered to his face. Levi groaned. So much for my peaceful day. The large man turned to tell the royal to kindly get lost, and his jaw hit the floor. Belphegor was patting his slightly damp hair with a fluffy black towel hanging around his neck. But that wasn't what caught the lightning wielder's attention.
It was the fact that Bel was wearing his baggy striped shirt and thigh high leather boots that came with his Varia uniform. Only his shirt and boots. As the svelt blonde curled up on the chaise a few feet away, Levi looked ready to have an aneurysm. Bel took no notice of his teammate's fairly obvious discomfort.
"B-Bel, why aren't you wearing pants?" Levi stuttered. The man in question lethargically rolled his head to the side to glance over upon hearing Levi's raised voice.
"Because I'm a prince," he began in his blasé manner, "I don't have to wear pants." With that he turned back to the TV. He clicked his teeth at the boring selection.
"Shishi, hey ugly Levi, pass the remote here. The prince wants to watch TV." Belphegor said as he sat up on his knees to crawl over to were Levi was, presumably to steal the remote away. The remote was the last thing on the lightning guardian's mind though. As Bel shifted over his prone form to pluck the device from his hand, Levi caught a glimpse of the prince's rather feminine undergarments, not to mention his pale, sinewy thighs. Levi thought for a fleeting moment of how well the purple bikini style panties suited the younger hitman. Bel didn't really seem like a boxers kind of guy anyway.
At least he wasn't free-balling.
Remote in hand, Bel cast a quick look at Levi. He looked weird. Well, weirder than usual. It was then he noticed the roving eyes and slowly flushing cheeks, and just where Levi was looking and quickly put two and two together. His lips curled mischievously. The blonde assassin huddled over to were he was sitting before, making sure to give Levi a nice view his cotton- clad masterpiece of a posterior (If the prince did say so himself). The strangled grunt did not go unnoticed. Bel's smirk grew wider.
"So Levi, how was your day today?" Belphegor attempted to instigate some small talk, namely so he could observe his unwitting prey. Levi was understanably silent. So the prince continued on.
"The mission today was soooo bloody! You wouldn't believe how dirty the prince got!" Bel snuck a sly glance over to the bumbling man on his right. Mind-Bel was dying of laughter. He was totally bullshitting! He had been sleeping all day. But nonetheless, "I was a bad little prince! Ushishi! Those other hitmen got what-" Bel prattled on about stabbing someone, but all Levi could do was watch the storm guardian's wiry hand, as Bel ghosted his fingers over his thighs.
"One of those assholes hit me right here," he pouted as he poked a spot obscenely close to his…it was all Levi could do to not stare at that intricate tattoo of a skull wearing a crown on the inside of Belphegor's left thigh. Meanwhile, the prince continued to massage his apparently 'bruised' extremity. A sigh escaped his lips. A whimper broke from Levi's.
"I'm so glad I got back quick, the prince needed a shower so badly…" Bel let his words hang in the air, as he continued to lightly run his fingertips over the insides of his thighs. He licked his lips. Damn I'm a sexy motherfucker, shishi~! He thought to himself vainly. He chanced a peep over at his teammate. Levi look positively lust-ridden. Bel noted the bulge in the spiky haired man's pants, and smirked to himself.
Levi was so depraved. This is so easy it's embarrassing. He shifted his over-sized shirt just a bit higher, exposing more of his flawless skin to Levi's lecherous stare.
" The prince is nice and clean now~," The younger man said, content. Levi gulped. Bel inwardly snickered at Levi's shameless gawking. He was going to milk this just a bit more and…
"They're nice, aren't they?" That certainly caught the older man's attention.
"Eh-eh -what?" Came the articulate reply. Bel ignored him, continuing to stroke himself suggestively.
"They're so soft…and creamy…it's like touching silk. Shishi~" Bel whispered huskily, loving the reactions of his pathetic comrade. Levi, on the other hand, was absolutely speechless. How had this happened? Last time he checked, he liked women. Yet here he was, crossing his legs to hide his obvious erection, and sweating profusely. And all over that damn snobby prince! But…if there was one thing he knew about Bel, it was that he loved to shock people. And walking around with no pants on was certainly shocking enough. If it wasn't for the fact that Levi knew Belphegor was a guy…
Damn this brat, and damn his sexy womanly thighs!
"Do you want to touch them, Levi?" Bel asked, again in that low, husky voice. Levi could see a dangerous glint behind that mop of blonde hair.
"Well do you?" the royal pressed. At that the guardian of thunder stuttered.
"W-why would I wanna do that?" Levi scooted to the furthest end of the couch set, trying to increase the distance between the two of them. Belphegor stretched, much like a feline would, and crawled slowly on his hands and knees, like a wildcat on the prowl, over the older man.
" What's the matter Levi? It's pretty obvious that you want to…" Bel continued his 'attack,' striped shirt dropping off one shoulder, exposing to Levi's eyes yet another interesting tattoo he had never noticed that the storm guardian had, this time along his collar bone. It read,'the motherfu-' the rest was cut off from his view. He'd have to ask Fran what it said later, if he remembered.(A/N: I'm sure you can guess what it says) Just what did this guy do in his spare time? The prince saw the distant look in the older man's eyes and mentally pouted. He hated being ignored. Time to finish this.
"Leviii~," the whispery voice that was uniquely Prince the Ripper's cooed at him. When did the younger man get so close? Belphegor was practically straddling the older man, and… petting him. It was safe to say Levi was greatly disturbed. Belphegor commenced the final attack of his sensual onslaught. "Leviii…touch meee…" the prince wrapped his lithe arms around Levi's neck, and whispered into his ear. "I'm positively aching for it…" and licked the shell of Levi's ear, just for good measure. Gross! He tastes like hot cheese! Bel reminded himself to thoroughly brush his tongue later.
The Lightning wielder was so flustered he all but chucked the blonde off of him and absconded out of the room, yelling a garbled "Please excuse me!" as exited the lounge with epic speed. Belphegor noted the tint of red in Levi's hand as he pinched his nostrils closed.
Nosebleed. Shishi~ ! The prince is the winner!
The blonde prince picked himself up off the floor, laughing evilly. It was then that a certain froggy-hat wearing kohai made his appearance. Belphegor spotted the ridiculous frog eyes peering at him from the corner. The rest of the younger mist guardian materialized after.
"You were here the whole time?"
"Yep. Did you have a good time raping Levi-san?" Fran asked apathetically.
Stab.
"Looks like I win the bet sempaii," the mist illusionist said in that placid tone of his as he joined the slasher prince on the couch, stealing his spot on the chaise. Belphegor's laughter ceased abruptly.
"What? Didn't you see that? I told you I could give him a nosebleed, ushishi~! No one can resist the prince's unearthly sex appeal!" the blonde declared conceitedly, stretching out languidly on the couch, booted feet resting in Fran's lap.
"You're a regular stud, fallen prince-sempai." Fran quipped sarcastically, as he promptly pushed Belphegor's feet off of him and brought his legs up to rest his chin on his knees.
Stab.
"Ow, that hurt." Fran sighed as he plucked the three oddly shaped knives from the frog's face. And proceeded to bend them.
"Anyway, the bet was that you could give pervert Levi-san a nosebleed without touching him in anyway. You sat on him. Ergo, you lose the bet, stupid-prince."
Stab x5.
"Shut it, uncute kohai. The prince never loses! You're officially my bitch for the week!" Fran put his hands on the stupid hat in resignation. "So I can't take this hat off for today?" Fran sunk further into the couch.
"Hell no. Shishi~" Fran almost looked crestfallen. It wasn't really any different from his usual expression, so it went unnoticed. And wasn't he pretty much the prince's bitch anyway?
"Hmm…I bet Levi-san exploded." The mist guardian stated out of nowhere, wiggling his toes, and admiring his zebra print socks. Bel ignored him, and flipped the channel to HBO. Dexter was coming on soon. The two sat in silence. After a few minutes Fran turned to the narcissistic prince.
"Bel-sempaaaiii"
"What ,toad?" Fran gave Belphegor's pelvic region a pointed look.
"Can you please put some pants on? I find it awkward to sit next to a fake prince in women's underwear."
STAB.
Just in case anyone's curious, I was actually watching that dolphin program while I was typing this. I LOL'D like a mofo at the bit about the dolphin sex, just because it was so unexpected! Though in retrospect, it doesn't sound as funny reading it as when you actually hear it on TV, with the old narrator guy sounding so bored talking about male dolphin erections, and yea, it was totally awkward cause my mom walked by right as he said that and I laughed…*sweatdrop* Yet, it seemed oddly appropriate for the story. Plus, yes, I was wearing zebra print socks, and they're B.A.M.F. socks.
Anyway, thanks for reading! Review or Bel will walk into your living room and try to seduce you in women's undies. And succeed.