Killer
Chapter 3
Persely went very still, the anger lighting her features quickly evaporating as she looked at Faith with sharp wariness in her gaze, her body stiff. She shook her head quickly, voicing denial.
"No you ain't. You ain't no murderer. You're just saying that to try to look smart, or scary or something."
"Yeah, I am," Faith shrugged again, rolling her eyes, then half smirking at the younger girl. "What, you think I care about impressing YOU? Some ego you got on you, kid."
Persely's eyes darted, her lip catching briefly between her teeth, and she seemed to unconsciously shrink back from the older girl, even though she took no steps to do so.
"You ain't telling the truth…you just saved me. If you were some big bad murderer, you wouldn't have saved me."
"Yeah, well, got the redemption thing going for me now…mostly," Faith shrugged again, rolling her eyes upward briefly. "Just because I do the saving now doesn't mean I wasn't ever the one doing the hurting then."
Not even trying to bluster defiance anymore, Persely blinked, slowly shaking her head, then crossed her arms suddenly, almost hugging herself.
"You ain't kidding," she whispered, and Faith saw her shiver, her fear stark in the surface of her eyes.
"Nope," she replied, but she made her tone more serious, almost gentle, as she took a step towards her, one hand half extended. "Retired now though, unless someone's really got it coming, so don't worry about it. Like I said, got the redemption thing going now. But hey…look, if you're alright here…you got somewhere to go? I mean, we don't normally house escaped murderers," she added, the sarcastic teasing obvious in her tone, especially when paired with the smirk she flashed the other girl's way. "But once in a while we could probably make an exception-"
"You don't know what the hell you're talking about!" Persely interrupted, and her voice was strident again, her fists reforming at her sides, eyes narrowing. "You don't know SHIT!"
Faith exhaled, her teeth gritting; this girl was just starting to get on her nerves by this point.
"Look, Persely, you're-"
"You don't know shit!" Persely cut her off again, her voice louder, more aggressive, her arms uncrossing to gesture violently as well. "You think you're so damn smart, you don't know NOTHING! Get away from me!"
For Faith, that was a done deal. The ungrateful little brat didn't even have a thank you, she wanted her to walk away and leave her to any other "Snow Hunters" that came along, if that was what they were even really called…if the whole thing wasn't some delusion of grandeur on the kid's part in the first place. Well, fine. She wasn't going to stick her neck out anymore for a kid who would break it in a split second if she could.
"Whatever," she muttered. "Guess you better hope the Snow Hunters don't have any pissed off pals hanging around then, huh?"
She turned away, beginning to stride out of the alley with long, deliberate steps. She could feel Persely's eyes on her, even as the girl yelled after her again.
"You don't know SHIT about me, Faith, you don't!"
Faith ignored her, exiting the alley and beginning to make her way down the store front sidewalk. It was only a few moments before she heard Persely's voice again.
"Hey…hey!"
Faith continued to pretend she couldn't hear her, her eyes focused straight ahead as she walked, but she did slow down her pace just a little. She was calling the kid's bluff, but she wasn't going to be a total ass about it, even if Persely deserved it.
She could hear footsteps behind her now, fast, almost running, and Persely's voice, rushed, definitely fearful, and almost desperate.
"Wait…Faith, wait a minute already, I'm talking to you!"
Faith took her time in stopping, turning around slowly, and fixing an irritated glance at Persely that was only partly genuine. She'd actually kind of hoped the girl would take the bait. Persely hurried to catch up to her, breathing a little harder than normal, and when Faith started to walk again, Persely stayed close, almost touching, casting a nervous glance behind them.
"Yeah?" Faith asked, eyebrows raised, only briefly looking over at her, and Persely bit her lip unconsciously, her voice coming out small.
"Why did you say that…about me not being a murderer. How come you said that."
Still walking, though at a much slower pace than now, Faith glanced over at her again, making longer eye contact this time.
"Because. I can tell you're not."
"But I am," Persely insisted, her voice still almost a whisper, her features softer, younger, and more natural and real than Faith had seen in her so far, even as she tried to catch and hold Faith's gaze with intensity. "I am. You're wrong. I am, so how come you're saying that?"
"You're not a murderer," Faith said quietly, shaking her head, her pace slowing further. "If you ever killed at all, it was an accident, and that's not the same thing. Still gotta deal with the consequences, big ones…but it's not the same. Trust me, kid, I know both those routes, and they might lead to the same result, but the same thing's not going on inside…you aren't a murderer."
"But I am!" Persely insisted, her voice rising. She tugged Faith's arm strongly, pulling them both to a stop in the middle of the sidewalk. "I am, though, I am a murderer, you're wrong. You're WRONG."
As intense as her voice was, there was no anger or defiance in her voice, only urgency…a need to be validated, to be right. Faith stared at her, somewhat baffled, then shook her head.
"What, is that what you want? You WANT me to say you're some vicious, cold-blooded murderer?"
"Yes," Persely said fiercely, her hand still tightly gripping Faith's arm, and Faith laughed, disbelieving, shaking her head.
"You know what, you're totally whacked, or else you've got a bigger guilt complex than Angel. And either way you're full of shit."
"I am!" Persely shouted, her hand tightening on Faith's arm. When Faith roughly yanked herself from her grasp, sending her stumbling back a few steps, Persely, undaunted, stepped close to her again, her face tilted in an aggressive angle. She was nearly screaming…but there was desperation in her eyes, a despair in her face even as she yelled, that made her appear less so angry than almost exploding with intensity of emotion.
"I AM a murderer, I AM A MURDERER! I did murder her- I did kill her! Don't ever tell me what I did, you don't know, you don't know what I am! I did it, I put the poison in his Tang, I wanted to kill him, I wanted him to die! How was I supposed to know he'd think it tasted funny, how was I supposed to know he'd give it to my mama to try? I did it, I put it in there, and she died, and HE DIDN'T, he's still out there, walking around like everyone else! I can't even do that right, can't even murder the right person! But I did it- I killed her! Don't you ever tell me I'm not no murderer, because I did murder her, I did it!" Persely shrieked, and she was shaking, her face so flushed and vivid with feeling that Faith stared, momentarily unable to form a response.
The younger girl stood, trembling heavily, her voice coming in ragged gasps, and she backed against the alley wall, letting her back slump against it, her head lowering so Faith could barely see her face. When she spoke again, her voice was low, almost a whisper, and it shook nearly as much as her form.
"I am a murderer. Don't you never tell me that I'm not."
Faith took this in, her eyebrows knitting slightly, and remained silent for several moments, looking in the direction of Persely's lowered face. Persely could not have looked much different from her in appearance if she tried. She was small and blonde, pale and dirty, with scruffy clothes and hair, though not unattractive, very much unlike herself. But she knew that tone, that expression…the person behind it all. That guilt, that anger, that pain…that fear. Looking at Persely was looking at a skewed echo of herself, only a few years before, and it stunned her to think that she had not seen it before, not the whole of it.
She stepped forward slowly, stopping only a foot or two in front of Persely, and continued to regard her intently before speaking. "Why?"