Alek

I killed a man.

The thought haunts me. Every time I close my eyes I see his widen, feel his blood drench my hands. I had to do it, I reason. I had to save Deryn, the Leviathan. And myself. But the images, and the guilt, don't stop. I've been the cause of many deaths. The soldier on the horse, the walker pilots in Istanbul - but this is the first I've dealt with my own two hands.

I toss and turn most of the night, then wake up screaming so loudly that a bleary eyed Deryn comes in asking if the Clankers have invaded again.

Embarrassed - I shouldn't cry out at dreams - I explain as she pulls up a chair and settles down. When I finish, she shrugs. "I suppose we all have nightmares."

I remember her dreams of her father's death, and wonder how she ever found the courage to fly again after that, or after her own accident. "You're the bravest person I've ever met," I say with the unfiltered honesty that comes from being half asleep.

She just smiles and takes my hand, a comforting gesture. "Don't be silly."

"Really," I protest.

"Shh. Go to sleep."

So I don't tell her that I mean it, and that I wish I could be as brave as her, and that I think I'm falling in love with her, which for me is the greatest crime of all. Instead I let my eyes slide closed and fall into a sleep blessedly free of dreams.

When I wake up, she's still there, slumped over in the chair. Her arm is extended, fingers curled like she fell asleep holding my hand.

I hear the door knob turn and look up guiltily. Volger walks in with the paper. He raises his eyebrows.

"It's nothing inappropriate," I say irritably.

"It doesn't matter now." He dangles the newspaper in front of my face, eyes glittering. I squint at the headline an inch from my eyes and my heart goes cold.

Deryn wakes with a start. "Wha- What's he doing here?"

I hand her the newspaper that reads 'Emperor Franz Joseph dead'. "He's gone," I say. "I'm going home."

"Maybe there's some other way."

Deryn sighs gustily - I think she's exaggerating. "There is no other way. This isn't a barking fairy tale. Sure, you're a prince. But I'm not some wee lass trapped in a tower. You can't ride up on a white horse, give me a kiss, and save the day. Not this time."

"Things change," I persist. "Someday, maybe."

"Yes, maybe someday princes will be able to marry whoever they want, even some girl they meet at school," she says sarcastically. "But someday isn't now."

I know she's right. I've been trapped like this since birth, really.

She smiles, a little sadly. "We live in two different worlds. You know they could only overlap for a while." Her voice turns serious. "If you only listen to me once, make it now. Go back. Stop the war. For all of us."

"I will," I say, and feel the weight of the world settling down on me. "I have to."