Paradise, Part 1

Summary: [No summary. I don't want to give anything away. Sorry!] Logan's POV

Warning: Character death. BUT I PROMISE THAT THERE'S A PURPOSE TO IT!

Author's Note: I decided to continue the story. Sorry for taking so long to write the next chapter. School has kept me super busy. I should be doing homework right now. Haha. Anyways, I was planning on writing this as a oneshot, but I decided to incorporate it into this story so that there's some development in Carlos and Logan's relationship. I kinda felt that it worked. :3 I also decided to split said oneshot into two separate chapters because it was getting long, and I wanted to update. Besides, I feel that where I stopped was the perfect place. Just so you know, the boys have already moved to the Palmwoods and have met Jo and Camille. :)

Hawaii

It's been a year now. One year of having been in a relationship with Carlos Garcia. I could honestly say that it was the best year of my life. I loved him ever since I realized that I was gay. I almost couldn't believe that I could now sleep next to him at night, wrap my arms around him, kiss him whenever I wanted, and feel every single one of my feelings for him reciprocated.

We were vacationing in Hawaii with James, Kendall, and Jo. (We invited Camille, but she politely refused, saying that she was going to start filming in a new role she had landed. She had taken the fact that I was gay – and in love with Carlos – pretty well. It was surprising, but I was glad.) James was hoping to find a hot Hawaiian with whom to go out. Kendall and Jo were having a great time hanging out with each other on the beach, just like Carlos and I were. We found our own secluded spot and relaxed. No recording sessions, no Gustavo yelling at us, and no paparazzi snapping pictures. It was awesome. I really hated the paparazzi – they just couldn't mind their own damn business. Carlos didn't seem to mind though. He told me it was a chance to show the world that I was his. I swear, he's just so adorable.

I was totally comfortable, sitting on the sand between his legs, with his arms wrapped around me, leaning back into his chest, facing the setting sun. Everything was just perfect. But something just didn't seem right. "Carlos?" I said.

"Yeah, babe?"

"Do you ever get the feeling that something… bad… is about to happen?"

"Not when I'm with you," he replied.

He never failed to make me feel better when something upset me. I smiled. "You're so corny," I responded, rolling my eyes. Then I sat up a bit, turned my head, and kissed him on the cheek.

"I don't care," he said as I kissed him. "You love me anyways." The sun had already set over the ocean, and all that remained was an orange glow that was quickly fading to the black of night. Carlos let go of me and stood up. "Let's go home, Logie. It's getting late." He took my hand in his as he helped me up, and we started walking back to our hotel.

We were quiet in the first part of our walk back to the hotel; the scenery was too beautiful to interrupt with words, though we didn't mind the silence. We were just content to be with each other. But soon, and a little too soon for me, we were back in the hustle and bustle of the city. "RACE YOU BACK TO THE HOTEL!" Carlos suddenly yelled, letting go of my hand and running.

"Wha – HEY!" I said, realizing that I had just given him a headstart. I started running, and soon surpassed him. Having slightly longer legs than your boyfriend was a good advantage in these races. I looked back and saw Carlos desperately trying to catch up, so I stuck out my tongue and laughed.

We ran a few more blocks, but I was getting tired. I didn't have Carlos' endless energy, so I stopped at a corner to catch my breath. Besides, he was still a good distance behind me. But that distance closed off pretty quickly, and soon he was no more than ten feet behind me, so I started to run again.

"LOGAN! LOOK OUT!" Carlos cried as I started to run. I looked to my left to see a car headed straight for me. I felt like a deer in headlights. All I could do was stare in horror, while my life flashed before my eyes. The car showed no signs of slowing down. Before the impact, I saw the driver – he was obviously drunk.

I closed my eyes, and said one final prayer, and then felt something crash into me… from behind… Wait, wasn't the car to my left? I thought as I hit the pavement, scraping my hands in the process. I looked up and saw that I was closer to the other side of the street. But… the impact should have knocked me into the intersection… I didn't know what the hell was going on… until I looked back. The car had finally swerved and crashed into a lamppost at another corner. And there was Carlos, in the middle of the intersection, a pool of blood gradually growing larger around his head. He wasn't moving. A crowd had gathered around the intersection, and all traffic had stopped.

"CARLOS!" I cried. "SHIT!" I ran over to him, and began to bawl. He just saved my life. He took a fucking car for me. I couldn't believe it. "C-C-Carlos! P-p-please talk to me!" He groaned, and I smiled, completely relieved that he was still alive. "Don't worry, Carlos! You're gonna be ok," I said more to myself than to him. I took care of him while I waited for the ambulance, which I could hear approaching from a mile away.

At the hospital

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S NOT GONNA MAKE IT?" I yelled at the doctor who just broke the news to me.

"I'm sorry, but he sustained fatal injuries to the head when he fell from the impact," he replied calmly. "He also has a few broken bones," he said, still composed, and as if that even mattered.

"BUT HE GROANED WHEN I WAS WITH HIM WAITING FOR THE AMBULANCE!" I cried, in absolute hysterics. "I MADE SURE HE WAS OK! I TOOK CARE OF HIM – I FUCKING TOOK CARE OF HIM!"

"I'm sorry," the doctor said again. "But I'm afraid, if he's lucky, he'll probably only have at most a few more days – "

At that, I fell to the floor and cried harder than I had ever done in my life. "NO! HE CAN'T DIE! HE CAN'T!"

I felt a hand rubbing my back, and a voice say, "If you would like to go see your friend…" The person to whom the voice belonged helped me up, and I staggered into Carlos' hospital room with tears streaming down my face. I sat down next to his bed and took his hand.

"Logie?" he said weakly. I had never seen him more broken than now.

"Carlitos," I whispered, fearing that my voice would crack. I could feel fresh tears welling up in my eyes.

"I'm not gonna make it, am I…" he said matter-of-factly, as if he knew already knew he was going to die, as if it was written in stone. I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces.

"Don't say that." I was still whispering. "Please don't say that. You will make it, because you're the strongest person I know! Don't listen to that doctor, he's retarded!"

He smiled feebly. I couldn't take seeing my boyfriend so fragile and exhausted. I couldn't help but break down again. I felt him squeeze my hand. "Don't worry, Logie. Whatever happens, happens, and for a reason. I'll be where I was meant to be." I just kept crying.

I heard the door to Carlos' room open, and a nurse said, "I'm sorry, but visiting hours are over."
"Wait!" Carlos said, almost imperceptibly. "Please let him stay." I looked up at the nurse. My eyes must have been puffy and red. She looked down from my face to my hand, which was still intertwined with Carlos', and nodded knowingly.

After she had left, Carlos said to me, "Please don't leave me. I still need you here tonight." A tear slid down my cheek, and I nodded, knowing that I could no longer speak. I kissed him, hoping for the best. Then he said, "I think I'm gonnna sleep now, Logie. I'm really tired." I squeezed his hand in response. "Goodnight, babyboo." I nodded again. I felt the knot in my throat grow larger, and I really just couldn't talk anymore, especially after hearing that corny nickname he gave me. I used to hate it… but seeing Carlos like this… I could only cherish every word that he said.

Carlos closed his eyes, and drifted off to sleep. He looked like an angel – a broken one, but still an angel nonetheless. I still couldn't believe he saved my life, and was now here, with the doctors doubting his longevity. It really wasn't fair at all.

I couldn't sleep. I just kept thinking What if Carlos makes it? We can go home together, forget this ever happened, live like we won't lose each other. We can't, we just can't! He will make it, HE WILL MAKE IT. Then all of a sudden… a flatline. "NURSE! DOCTOR! ANYONE, SOMEONE HELP!"

A few days later

Carlos didn't make it, and I couldn't believe it. The last few days of this vacation-turned-disaster were spent crying. James, Kendall, and Jo knew I was devastated, and did everything they could to comfort me, but they all tried in vain. Only one person could comfort me right now, and if he was here, I wouldn't even need comforting.

On the last day of our trip, we packed our bags in silence. It was too eerie without Carlos. I never thought I'd see the day when there wasn't a commotion around us because of his antics, his craziness, his happy-go-lucky attitude. He wasn't there to bother the captain as we boarded the ship, or cause chaos among the other passengers. He wasn't there to hold me while we looked toward the setting sun as we left in the opposite direction. He wouldn't be there any longer to kiss me goodnight as I fell asleep in his arms. I already missed him badly.

None of us spoke to each other as we got on. I just listened to the sound of a band nearby playing Aloha `Oe solemnly.

Ha`aheo ka ua i nâ pali
Ke nihi a`ela i ka nahele
E hahai (uhai) ana paha i ka liko
Pua `âhihi lehua o uka

(Hui:)
Aloha `oe, aloha `oe
E ke onaona noho i ka lipo
One fond embrace,
A ho`i a`e au
Until we meet again

`O ka hali`a aloha i hiki mai
Ke hone a`e nei i
Ku`u manawa
`O `oe nô ka`u ipo aloha
A loko e hana nei

Maopopo ku`u `ike i ka nani
Nâ pua rose o Maunawili
I laila hia`ia nâ manu
Miki`ala i ka nani o ka lipo

I knew the translation. It was a farewell song to a loved one. Pretty much exactly what I didn't get to do with Carlos. I felt some tears run down my cheek as the emotional impact of the lyrics hit me hard. I thought of the fact that I'd never see Carlos, feel his embrace or his sweet lips against mine, nor hear his soothing voice ever again. I thought of the future we'd never have together, and of the past that just made this loss so much worse. I collapsed onto the deck, and cried my heart out as Kendall and James carried me to our cabin. I couldn't take it anymore. With every passing second, I felt like I was abandoning Carlos on Hawaii, as if I was leaving his spirit behind. I could've sworn I saw him waving to me from the shore before my friends carried me away; unable to see the beach, instead I stared at the cabin's sky-blue walls and white ceiling. "Totally fits my mood," I said sarcastically as I turned myself over and cried into a pillow. "Perfect. Just fucking perfect."

Author's Note: Chapter finished. Other than this, I probably won't put an author's note until the end of the next chapter. I want my story to speak for itself :) Although there might be another apology for taking so long. Again, school keeps me busy. And then there's the fact that I write out of enjoyment more than a feeling of needing to update. So sorry in advance if I keep you waiting too long. But hopefully you enjoy the story enough that you can forgive me? :D

Also, please forgive me for killing Carlos. BUT I PROMISE: there's a purpose to that, and you'll see why next chapter, but that's all I'm telling you! So please just be patient and wait for the next chapter. I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE you'll see why I had to do it.

Translation of the song

Proudly swept the rain by the cliffs
As it glided through the trees
Still following ever the bud
The `ahihi lehua of the vale

(Chorus:)
Farewell to you, farewell to you
The charming one who dwells in the shaded bowers
One fond embrace,
'Ere I depart
Until we meet again

Sweet memories come back to me
Bringing fresh remembrances
Of the past
Dearest one, yes, you are mine own
From you, true love shall never depart

I have seen and watched your loveliness
The sweet rose of Maunawili
And 'tis there the birds of love dwell
And sip the honey from your lips

Lyrics and translation from .org/Aloha/Aloha_