Okay – this should explain the title!
Jack was going crazy. He'd been sitting in the cave waiting for Carter for hours. If he'd been stronger he would have begun to pace. As it was he just – fiddled. She had left him some food, water and his pistol. His shoulder was in no shape for the P-90 and she had taken the rifle to hunt for game.
He knew that he was being unreasonable. It would take her time to find the animals and then she'd have to kill it and try and haul it back (or at least part of it). He knew she was competent and strong but still HE WAS GOING CRAZY!
They'd discovered yesterday that their radios didn't work. He couldn't figure it out since they'd worked when they were back by the gate but now all they got was static. Carter figured it was something in the hills that was interfering with the reception. Whatever it was it made him nervous to be out of touch with her.
If anything happened he knew he'd be devastated. He couldn't imagine a life without Carter in it. He rested his head back against the cave wall and tried thinking of something, anything, to get his mind off his worry.
Sam had followed the trail they'd taken the day the Colonel was hurt, hoping to come across the herd of 'mountain sheep'. She knew that tigers were generally solitary animals and marked out their territory so hoped that she wouldn't come across another one. But then again, she wasn't sure if Sabre Tooths were really tigers. Oh well, she'd just be careful anyway. Even if there weren't any more tigers that didn't preclude other dangerous animals from being present.
It was mid morning before she finally spotted some of the large grazing animals. She knew from what the Colonel had said that they had sensitive hearing so she was careful as she approached. She watched them carefully for a while until she felt confident she could get one of them. She made sure to avoid any that looked like a female with young, and finally choose what looked like an older male.
She really hated this – didn't like the thought of killing these gentle creatures (at least she assumed they were gentle) but knew it was a matter of life or death for her and the Colonel. So, with a deep breath she aimed and shot.
The sheep immediately fled, surprisingly quick on their feet for such large animals. It was only when the herd had left that she was able to see that she had indeed brought one down. Checking the surrounding area carefully she made her way down to where the carcass lay.
The first thing she did was to make sure it was really dead, which it was. Next she took off her pack and pulled out the tools she would need. The Colonel had explained what she had to do but she admitted, to herself, that she was feeling quite squeamish about the whole thing. Not for the first time she wished he were here.
She worked steadily for the next hour or more and soon had the animal 'field dressed'. Once that was done she would see if she could drag it back to camp in the tarp. If it were too heavy she'd have to cut pieces off and return with those. That meant they wouldn't get as much meat but at least it would be a start.
As she worked on the animal she began to have a strange sense that she was being watched. The first time she'd felt it she'd stood up and, with her gun in hand, had carefully checked out the surrounding area. She could hear birds and small animals so didn't expect it was another tiger, but still she worried. After a bit she went back to work but continued to feel a tingle between her shoulders.
She was finally finished gutting the animal – and was feeling quite sick. She knew she would never take up hunting for recreation. It was horrible! Still, they now had a good supply of meat – if she could get it back.
Rolling the carcass into the tarp she quickly tied it up with ropes. She created a 'loop' with the ends of the rope and put it over her shoulder. With another quick look around she began to pull.
It wasn't easy, and it would take time, but she figured she could pull it back to the cave; if not all the way at least close enough so that she could go back and forth to retrieve as much as possible. As she walked she continued to have the feeling that she was being watched.
By the time she neared the cave she realized it was late afternoon. She expected that the Colonel was worried sick about her. She felt bad but knew that getting the food was essential and she couldn't stop just to return and reassure him. She hoped that this would be the last time –
Suddenly she was sure she heard something. Leaving the carcass she stood and slowly looked around. She moved carefully, back towards where she had heard the sound, her gun held at the ready. She stopped, waiting to see if she could hear something else. For a moment there was nothing and then there was a flurry of snaps and the rustle of leaves as if someone or something was running away. She quickly ran after it but whatever it was it moved quickly and soon was pulling ahead. At the last minute she thought she caught sight of something through the trees about 30 feet ahead. For a moment it had almost looked human, but she was sure she was just imagining it.
She was pretty sure that whatever it had been it was gone now. Her heart racing, she turned and walked back to where she had left the animal. When she arrived she cried out – someone had been there and had attempted to rip open the tarp. The animal was dragged partially out of it's covering. Quickly glancing around she couldn't hear anything but was now seriously creeped out. It suddenly dawned on her that the first 'something' had acted as a decoy to pull her away from her 'kill' so that the second 'something' could steel it. That spoke of some intelligence – which made her very nervous.
Watching carefully, and keeping her gun in her hand, she rearranged the carcass and pulled the rope back over her shoulder. She began pulling it again, all the while her eyes moved back and forth over the terrain.
She was nearing the cave and hadn't heard any more noise. Hopefully whatever it was had left but she now worried 'it' or 'they' knew where she was heading. She'd have to tell the Colonel.
She managed to pull the sheep up into the mouth of the cave and dropped down, exhausted from the effort it had taken to pull it all the way back.
"Carter! What the hell took you so long!" the Colonel was practically shouting at her. She glanced up at him and could see that he looked almost frantic. As soon as she could she spoke.
"Sorry Sir. It took awhile to bring it back. It was heavy."
"Carter, you've been gone practically the whole day. I thought something had happened to you. Do NOT do that again!" Oh, he was angry all right. She couldn't remember him ever sounding so angry with her before.
"What did you want me to do Sir?" She asked, angry in turn. "Should I have left it there, run back and told you I was okay and then gone back for it? It would have been long gone. With all due respect I did what I had to Sir. You said yourself we need food if we're going to survive. You can't get it so it's up to me!"
She knew as soon as she'd said it that it was the wrong thing to say. Knowing the Colonel he was feeling awful that he couldn't help and she'd just rubbed his nose in it. She started to apologize and then decided that no, she had done what she'd had to do and that was the end of it!
"I know Carter", his voice said softly. "I didn't mean to get angry – I was just … worried. I don't want to lose you." As if he realized how that sounded he continued quickly. "I mean, you're my teammate – I wouldn't want to lose any of you. It's my job to protect you." He stopped and then continued with disgust in his voice. "And I'm doing a helluva job of it aren't I?"
"Sir, it's not your fault. You're getting better and soon you'll be up and hunting yourself. And anyway, if it weren't for you I wouldn't have known what to do to dress an animal and keep it for the winter. You're the one that's going to keep us alive, not me. And I am really sorry I was gone so long – if there'd been any other way I wouldn't have done it."
"I know Carter, I know. I'm just frustrated stuck here like this. So", he said with a smile, "looks like you were successful?"
"Yes Sir. I got one of the mountain sheep. And please, don't ask me to ever field dress an animal again. It's ….. disgusting!"
"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry you had to do that. I hate it too but we have no choice I'm afraid. The closest MacDonald's is a few hundred thousand light years away."
"Actually Sir, that's too close for me anyway. I think I'd rather have roast – whatever" she pointed to the carcass, "than a Big Mac".
By this time both of them had calmed down, although Jack's heart was still beating a mile a minute. They had rigged up a place to hang the deer in a small offshoot cave they had found at the back. The stream ran through there as well and it was quite cool so it would keep until tomorrow. Sam managed to drag the carcass back and, with Jack helping as much as he could, they hung the deer.
"I'm exhausted", Sam sank back down to the ground and rested on her back. Jack managed to scoot over and offer her the canteen and a piece of dried fish.
"By the time we're out of here I will never want to see fish or dried meat again!" she said as she chewed the leather like substance. "You know we're going to have to find some kind of vegetables and fruit don't you. We're going to end up with scurvy if we don't eat something else."
"Yeah, I know. I think I may have seen some berries the other day before 'Whiskers' attacked me. We can check it out in a couple of days."
"Colonel." Jack looked at her in surprise. There was something worrisome in her tone of voice.
"What is it Major?"
She then told him about her experience as she was returning with her 'kill'. "I felt like I was being watched all afternoon but didn't see or hear anything until right at the end. Whatever it was was intelligent though."
"Human?"
"I don't know – maybe. What little I saw could have been human. Certainly it was tall and moved quickly but I don't know for sure."
"Okay, from now on we don't go anywhere alone. I also think it would be good if we took watches again."
"But Sir, you're still not well. You need your rest."
"Look, I'm perfectly fine sitting here. I won't walk around but I can stay awake. I know, I know Carter", he waved his hand at her as she went to interrupt. "I need my rest – I get it. But I'd rather be tired than dead! Now you need to rest. I've been sitting on my butt all day but you've worked hard. Go to sleep Sam – and good job, by the way."
She smiled at her CO, knowing that his earlier anger had been caused by worry – which gave her a warm feeling deep in her bones. She closed her eyes and before she knew it was sound asleep.
Over the next couple of days they worked to prepare all the meat. Again, Sam was glad that the Colonel knew what he was doing. He was able to help although it was slow going with him only having one hand – and his left one at that. He did watch over the meat as it smoked, making sure it was in long enough but not too long to be ruined.
By the third day after her 'hunt' Sam could tell that Colonel O'Neill was getting much better. The meat they'd been able to consume had helped him gain some energy – although both of them were craving fruits and vegetables. She would also die for a slice of bread and butter.
The Colonel was walking around now although he still had to be careful not to knock his arm and the wounds were still pretty tender and sore. She figured it would be another couple of weeks before he was back at full speed – and probably a few more before the broken bone was completely healed. Of everything it was the most problematic given their circumstances.
"I think we should go see if we can find any berries or plants we can eat." O'Neill had walked in and was watching Sam clean her gun.
"I can go Sir."
"No, I've already said we won't go anywhere alone. We'll go together."
"Are you sure you're up to it?"
"Carter! I think I can handle a little berry picking! If they're too heavy you can lift them for me", he said with a saccharin sweet voice.
"All right Sir" she smiled back at him. "Just don't blame me if you get tackled by a blueberry when we're out."
"Major!" he said warningly. "And I don't wanna hear you tell Daniel any erroneous stories when we get back!"
"Erroneous Sir?" she asked, giggling. Sometimes the Colonel forgot his 'dumb' act.
"Yeah 'erroneous' – like it 'tall tales', myths, legends or other untrue stories people tell about their Commanding Officer. I know Carter – I've been there."
"What? You told untrue stories about your CO?" she asked in false surprise.
"Well – let's just call them 'embellishments' – and I don't wanna hear any coming from you!"
She laughed and began to get their pack ready for their 'berry picking' excursion. She was actually looking forward to getting out of the cave and walking around. She had begun to feel rather claustrophobic, especially dealing with all the cutting and curing of the meat.
They walked slowly as Colonel O'Neill had to be careful not to fall on the rough ground. She walked ahead, making sure that there were no loose stones or anything that might cause him to lose his footing. As they walked they chatted about what they thought might be happening back on earth.
"I'm sure Daniel is driving everyone crazy. If anyone can get the Tokra or Asgard moving it's him. He'll just keep at them until they gave in to stop him talking at them!"
Sam laughed but had to agree. There was no one quite so tenacious as Dr. Jackson when he wanted something to happen.
"Have you ever noticed how innocent he seems – and yet he almost always seems to get his way." Sam loved Daniel like a brother – but was all too aware of his 'quirks'.
"Oh yeah! I don't think I've ever had a bigger challenge than having Daniel on my team. If he was in the Air Force I would have charged him with insubordination years ago."
"But admit it Sir", she grinned, "you love him just the way he is."
He looked at her suspiciously, his eyes narrowed. Finally he turned and walked forward, tossing his comment over his shoulder. "Oh yeah, but if you ever tell him I'll have to shoot you Carter."
She laughed again and continued behind the Colonel. It was a beautiful day, with the sun shining warmly. If only they weren't trapped – this would have been a gorgeous place for a vacation.
"Aha! Gotcha!" She looked over and could see the Colonel standing next to a bush with purple berries. They looked vaguely like blueberries but were larger and a bit more reddish in color.
"Do you think they're safe Sir?" she asked. The last thing they needed was to get sick from eating poisonous berries.
"I think so although I guess we won't know until we try them. If it's like earth they should be okay. They're growing singly, not in clusters." She knew that that was often the sign of poisonous berries back on earth.
They began to collect the berries and put them in the small bags Sam had brought with her. They wouldn't test them until they were back at the camp and then would only do so slowly and carefully. The Colonel had explained how to go about testing to see if they were poisonous. She continued to be amazed at his knowledge.
Once the bags were filled they turned around and headed back. They'd only walked about an hour, so it shouldn't take too long or be too hard on the Colonel. He was actually looking like he was enjoying himself.
Much later she thought to herself that those words must have been what jinxed them. She should never have let her guard down like that – or expected that there was anything to enjoy while trapped on an alien planet.
As soon as the thought had crossed her mind Sam heard a shout and suddenly they were surrounded by a group of people or animals – she couldn't tell which. Everything happened so fast she didn't know what was happening.
The Colonel grunted and tried to fight against the 'beings' that were attacking him but was hampered severely by only having one arm. Sam ran to try and assist him when suddenly someone behind her covered her in something and grabbed her around the arms. She could no longer see and could barely breathe through the rough cloth or – leather she thought – that was covering her upper body. Her arms were held immobile and the next thing she knew she was being carried off.
She tried screaming and shouting but whatever had captured her cuffed her on the side of the head, almost causing her to pass out. As she was carried away she could still hear the sounds of battle as the Colonel kept trying to fight. Suddenly however, there was a short scream and then silence. Either he was dead or unconscious.
It seemed to take forever to get to where they were going. Sam felt sick, both from being held with her head hanging down and also from the smell of whatever was covering her. She tried to hear what was going on but could only discern the occasional 'grunt'. She thought that maybe she had been taken by some ape-like creature. From the brief glimpse she'd had of their attackers they hadn't looked quite human, although they were bi-peds.
After what must have been a couple of hours she could begin to hear more sounds. There were more of the grunts – some of them high pitched. She crinkled her face in confusion – it almost sounded like the voices of women and children.
Without warning she was dropped to the ground, the sudden impact causing pain to shoot up her arm, which had landed underneath her. Once she'd checked to make sure it was only bruised she attempted to sit up. She began by pulling the cloth from her head and looking around. The first thing she saw was that she was in some kind of cage – the door swung shut just as she had pulled the cloth away. Looking around she saw that the cage was inside a very large cave. It was clear from the fires and items lying around that people lived here.
The next thing she saw made her gasp.
Standing around the cave were a group of – people – both male and female and some children. But they weren't people like her and the Colonel! Instead they looked like museum renditions of early humans – or a cross between Neanderthals and Homo sapiens. Stunned, Sam realized she'd ended up in the middle of what looked like a movie set. She was surrounded by cave men!
They obviously found her as interesting as she did them. They soon surrounded the cage and began pointing and talking – using some kind of simple 'grunts' and sign language. That's what she'd been hearing on the trip here. It was clearly their language, although not a sophisticated one from what she could tell. She really wished Daniel were with her.
She began to look around for the Colonel but couldn't see him. She was badly frightened; worried that he'd been killed or seriously injured and left for dead. She tried to ask, using sign language, but the grunting grew louder and the 'people' backed away from the cage. She decided she must have scared them.
As she sat there she tried to calm herself by looking around the large cave to see anything that might help her escape.
The first things she noticed were the people themselves. They were pretty much naked, although the women wore some sort of skimpy leather 'thong'. The men were totally naked – and pretty well endowed from what she could see! Both men and women wore primitive jewelry made from leather, bone and possibly some kind of stones.
It was also pretty obvious that personal hygiene wasn't a big part of these peoples' routine. The stench was awful! She was sure that they never bathed and probably used some kind of animal grease in their hair and on their bodies. She could feel herself begin to feel nauseous on top of everything else.
She could see a number of fires around the cave and surmised that there were various family groups who each had their place in the cave. Children ran around freely although many were now staring curiously at her. She felt like sticking her tongue out at them but knew that wouldn't get her anywhere. And for all she knew that meant something totally different to these people.
God, she wished she knew what had happened to Jack – the Colonel. She was totally helpless!
Suddenly there was movement in the crowd surrounding her cage. A number of the men and women glanced behind them and the noise began to grow louder. The crowd abruptly opened up and Sam could see four of the 'cave men' enter pulling something behind them. She stood up and gasped when she realized it was the Colonel. He was unconscious – or at least she hoped he was – and was being dragged by his feet, which had been tied with rope. His hands were tied behind his back and a rope was looped around his torso. His head and shoulder were covered in blood.
She watched as he was dragged to the cage and she stood back, hoping they'd open the door and put him inside. Instead however, they tied him up to the bars outside, sitting him up and looping another rope around him so that he was bound against the bars, his head sagging onto his chest. After making sure he wouldn't get loose the men who had brought him grunted and left, quickly followed by the rest of the 'tribe'. They all returned to their individual fires and simply ignored their captives.
Sam rushed over to where the Colonel sat, outside her cage.
"Colonel. Colonel O'Neill – wake up". When he didn't move she reached her hand through and gently shook him. "Jack, wake up." That finally seemed to get through to him and he groaned. His head shot up abruptly and he tried to move but let out another groan when he was stopped.
"Jack – we've been captured and you're tied up. Are you okay?" She was terribly worried about his condition. His shoulder must be killing him – hopefully the bone hadn't 'rebroken' under the pressure. It was obvious his wounds had opened again and were bleeding, but not as badly as she'd first feared. Most of the blood seemed to come from a head wound. Something had hit him on the back of the head but she didn't know how serious it was – head wounds, even minor ones, could bleed very badly.
"Sir, are you okay?" she asked again. She prayed he didn't have a fractured skull.
"Yeah", he muttered. "What happened?" He clearly hadn't seen his captors yet as he appeared to be trying to clear his eyes by blinking rapidly.
"We were captured."
"By people?" he asked.
"Well, sort of."
"Sort of Major?" he tried to turn his head to look at her but stopped when it hurt.
"Ah – they're cave men Sir."
"Cave men? You mean real cave men – like in the Quest for Fire or One Million Years BC – those kind of cave men?"
"Yeah, those kind."
He finally lifted his head and looked around although he was still dizzy. Soon however, he could see the people sitting around the cave. A couple of them looked back at him and grunted.
"Oh yeah – real cave men. Wonder what they want with us."
"I don't know if they know either Sir. How are you?"
"Uh, a little sore Major. Someone walloped me over the head and I think I pulled open some of the wounds in my shoulder and chest but I don't think it's too bad. I just wish they'd take these ropes off – they're killing me!" It was extremely painful but as least they were both alive – for now.
"Uh Carter?"
"Yes Colonel?"
"Is it me or is it a little … ripe in here?"
"No, it's not you. I don't think these people bathe. It was worse when they were closer."
"Yeah, I bet. Makes me feel a little 'green around the gills'."
"Me too. Sir, I'm going to try and see if I can untie you. Can you watch to see if anyone is looking?"
"Will do Major, although I can't see everyone."
"I know, and they'll probably figure it out but hey 'nothing ventured'."
For the next twenty minutes Sam worked at the ropes which bound the Colonel's wrists. She could hear him give a sigh when they were released but he still couldn't move far with the rope around his chest and the cage. She started on that next and had just about finished when she heard a shout and one of the cave men rushed up and grabbed Jack. There was suddenly a lot of shouting and more of the 'people' rushed up.
One of the biggest of the men pulled Jack away from the cage and slammed him down on his face. He looked and saw that the ropes from his wrists were gone and looked up at Sam. His eyes narrowed and he considered her for a moment. He gestured to one of the others who came over and sat – literally sat – on the Colonel, holding him down. The first man then walked to the cage and undid the latch and walked in.
Sam backed away slowly as the very large – Neanderthal – walked toward her. The smell was awful but it was the rotten teeth and filthy hands that really got to her. He approached until she was backed into the corner. He then reached out and took some of her hair in his hands. He leaned forward and actually sniffed her. Wonder if he found her as unpleasant as she did him, she wondered.
He then grabbed her by the jaw and moved her head around checking her out. He was obviously intrigued by her coloring – they were all dark haired and brown eyed. He then reached down and grabbed her arms and pulled her forward. As soon as her chest came into contact with his he grunted and backed away. He looked at her, clearly in surprise, and reached up and grabbed her breasts. She yelled and tried to pull away but he was much too strong.
He grabbed the top of her shirt and pulled until it had torn right down the middle. He looked at her and seemed puzzled by her bra. He tried to rip that off as well but it was much tougher so he simply reached under and pulled it up, allowing her breasts to fall out freely. He grunted again and pulled her to the front of the cage. He grabbed her again and showed the others who all murmured in astonishment. She had tried to struggle but he kept her subdued with just one hand. He was incredibly powerful.
It was when his hand suddenly reached down to her crotch that she screamed and tried to pull away. He pulled her closer and tried again until she heard a fierce noise from outside the cage. She looked up and saw an older man standing, pointing at the one holding her. Her captor grunted in return and then let go of her. She immediately fell to the floor, sobbing in reaction. Her mauler walked out and slammed the door of her cage.
Shaking terribly she pulled her bra down and tried to pull her shirt together. She then walked over to where the Colonel was still being held on the floor. The attention of the others had also turned to him. Two of the mean walked up and flipped him over on to his back. He groaned with pain at the movement and appeared too weak and disoriented to fight them.
One of the men looked up at the older man, who nodded. The younger one stood up and walked to one of the fire pits and returned, carrying a knife made of bone. Kneeling down he reached out with the knife.
Sam screamed and, unable to take any more, collapsed to the ground, fainting for the first time in her life.