I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to my readers for the following chapter. I could claim that aliens made me do it – but you'd know it wasn't true. I will say, in my defense, that it's Valentine's Day and I'm all alone. So, I gave myself a present – Naked Jack! I hope you enjoy – and if not – well I did!

"Ow, stop it! What are you doing? Hey – no-"

Sam figured she hadn't been out for long but instead of waking up to screams of pain she heard the Colonel – complaining? He sounded a little weak and 'fuzzy' but certainly didn't seem to be in terrible pain. Instead he sounded – peeved. What the heck was going on?

"Ow!" He complained again.

"Sir?"

"Carter? Are you okay – hey get your hands off!"

"I'm okay Sir – what's going on?" She stood up, trying to see what was happening but the Colonel was surrounded by a number of the 'cave-men' and she couldn't see what they were doing to him.

"They're cutting my – STOP THAT!"

"Cutting your what Sir?" she asked, worried again.

"They're cutting my clothes off!" She heard the sound of cloth ripping and then the Colonel swearing. He was obviously not a happy camper.

"Carter, why are they cutting my clothes off?" he yelped when the man with the knife knicked him in a tender spot. "Watch what you're doing! I don't wanna lose those!"

"Uh, I think they want to check to see if you're – different from them."

"God, I hope I'm different. These guys reek! But why do you think that's what they're doing?" She could hear him continue to struggle as he spoke.

"Because one of them checked me out. I think they were surprised that I was a woman."

"Are you okay?" he now sounded really concerned. "They didn't hurt you did they?"

"No – it was a little uncomfortable but they just ripped my shirt. I'm fine." Suddenly the movement around the Colonel stopped and everyone stilled. She wished she could see what was happening.

"Happy now?" she heard his voice. "See, everything's there – can I have my pants back please?" She had to grin at how pissed he sounded but she quickly sobered. They were in a bad spot and it really wasn't funny.

"Come on – just my pants – you can keep the shirt." The crowd around started to move back and she looked over just in time to hear him speak again.

"Major – I'd suggest you cover your eyes. I'm kind of – uh …", his voice faded out.

"Naked Sir?" she asked, a smile in her voice.

"Yeah – kinda naked. Just the bandages left." He was quiet for a moment. "You're not looking are you?' he asked suspiciously.

"No Sir, not looking."

"Good!"

"Uh, what are we going to do now Colonel?"

"I don't know Carter. These guys aren't terribly communicative." The Colonel was still lying on his back, exhausted and in some pain after his ordeal. He was also feeling rather embarrassed and traumatized after having the clothes cut off him. He'd never tell Carter that, of course. He figured the best thing was to hide his discomfort with a casual air and a bit of humor.

"Hey guys!" he called over to the small group of men who were staring at him. They really gave him the creeps. "Come on, talk to me!" He tried to sit up, pushing up with his good arm. He looked down and could tell that he had a few more scrapes and bruises after his little 'argument' with the cave guys but he didn't think there was anything too bad.

As he sat up the cave men moved. One of them walked closer and looked threatening. He grunted at Jack and made some gesture, which he couldn't decipher. The Colonel finally decided to try standing, although he felt a little bit awkward without any clothes.

"I'm gonna get up here Carter so keep those blue eyes of your pointed somewhere else!"

"Yes Sir." She was seriously tempted to peak but with her luck the Colonel would catch her so she carefully kept her eyes on the cave people rather than on her commanding officer. She was taken aback to see a number of the younger men wearing pieces of his clothes. She almost laughed to see one man with the Colonel's boxers on his head.

The people in the cave seemed to get nervous as O'Neill stood up. He turned and tried to speak with the older man who seemed to be in charge but clearly got nowhere. Suddenly one of the men – a big, mean looking one, started gesturing wildly. He ran to one of the walls of the cave and grabbed a crude looking spear. Turning, he headed towards Jack who backed up carefully.

"Hey – what have I ever done to you? There's no need for that." The man with the spear held it up and started to threaten Jack. He jabbed it repeatedly towards the Colonel who dodged out of its path. The man grew more aggressive until finally Jack stepped quickly to one side and grabbed the shaft of the spear, pulling sharply.

The big cave men fell forward with a holler and landed face first on the ground. With a roar he lept up and advanced on the Colonel who backed away again. O'Neill was a tad concerned as this guy was huge so he sighed in relief when a quick word – or grunt – from the older man stopped him. Another few sounds and Jack was surprised when two of the men grabbed him from behind and led him to the cage where Sam was. Opening it quickly they threw him in, practically on top of Carter.

"Ooph" she cried as the Colonel barreled into her. She just managed to stay on her feet by grabbing him. This time it was his turn to grunt – but in pain. She had accidentally grasped his sore arm, pushing on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry Sir!" she stepped back and looked at him as he stood grimacing and bending forward. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah" he panted. "Nothing a new shoulder wouldn't fix." The sharp pain from being thrown into his Second made him feel nauseated for a moment. Finally he was able to stand but as soon as he caught Carter's eye he could feel himself start to blush. God, he was still naked.

"I'm fine Carter. Uh" he twirled his finger, indicating she should turn around. She immediately did so but not before he saw the beginning of a grin on her face. He walked over to the back of the cave and sat down, his knees bent in front of him to try and hide his assets.

"Okay, you can turn around now", he said, leaning his head against the wall of the cave. The cage was enclosed with bars on three sides, the fourth was the back of the cave.

"Are you sure you're okay Sir?" she asked, coming a little closer and sitting down.

"Yeah, I'm alright, just a bit bruised and battered. How about you?" Now that he looked at her closely he could see she was looking rather pale and she was carefully holding her shirt together. "That guy didn't hurt you did he?" he asked again.

"No, he didn't have time. The older man stopped him." She paused for a second. "It was the same man who tried to attack you. I don't think he likes us."

"Hmmm, I expect it's me he doesn't like. I'm pretty sure he likes you." He tried to sit up a little straighter. "We're gonna have to be careful Carter. These are truly primitive people and I expect it's the strongest who survive here. Hopefully they'll decide to let us go but for now, take it easy."

"You too Colonel. When we were first brought here I thought …" her voice faded out.

"Thought what Major?" he asked.

"I thought they'd killed you." She answered softly. She could still feel herself trembling from the fear and uncertainty of the last little while.

"Nah, I'm too tough to kill. Don't worry about me Carter, I'll be fine." They sat quietly after that, not sure what to say. Jack could only think about how much he wanted some clothes.

Sam suddenly started, realizing that she should have offered at least her shirt to the Colonel. It wouldn't fit but at least he could use it to provide a bit of modesty.

"Sir here", she began to take off her shirt, leaving only the white sports bra underneath.

"Whatcha doing?" he asked.

"Giving you my shirt. You can use it to cover – " her voice faded out.

"Carter, I appreciate the thought but I don't want you giving these guys any ideas. The more you're covered up the better. That mean one has been eyeing you for a while. I want you safe."

"But what about you?"

"Well, hopefully the men aren't getting any ideas about me and I think I could probably take any of the women who do."

"Yeah, well as long as they don't offer you any cake!"

"Major!" he replied shocked. "I can't believe you said that!"

"I'm sorry Sir", she said looking shamefaced. She couldn't figure out what had come over her.

"I'll have you know I only take cake from attractive women. These ones here are - "

"Ugly Sir?" she replied, relieved.

"Oh yeah – and stinky. Definitely not my type!"

"No? So what is your type Sir?" she asked, suddenly feeling brave. Maybe it was the fact that he was sitting there in his birthday suit, or maybe it was because she was feeling totally off kilter since they'd been kidnapped; whatever it was she might as well take advantage of her momentary bravery – or maybe it was stupidity.

"My type?" he asked, surprised at the question. "Uh – well, I like women who bathe at least once a year."

"Just once a year Sir?"

"Hey, you can't be too picky you know! I also like women with teeth! Yeah, teeth are good."

"The better to eat you with!" There was dead silence for a minute. Oh God, Oh God. What had she just said? Why had she just said it?

"I meant – you know – the fairy tail?" she sputtered.

"Ah yeah – that's what I thought you meant Carter. The wolf and all. Speaking of wolf" he needed to change the subject real fast – this conversation had started to give him ideas which would give him something else in a minute if he wasn't careful.

"Speaking of wolf Sir?" she asked as he stopped talking.

"Uh – oh, wolf – yeah, I mean – oh hell, I don't know Carter. My head hurts and I'm cold. I can't think right now." He finally decided to just give up. This was waaaaay too awkward.

"Colonel, please let me give you my shirt. It'll help keep you a bit warm." Glancing at Carter he realized she had a point. Besides which he'd feel much more comfortable if he could cover the O'Neill family jewels! Nodding he accepted her shirt.

There was only one problem – if he used it to keep his shoulders and upper body warm it wouldn't be long enough to be strategic. If he covered his lower body he'd still be cold. Sighing he tried to compromise by scrunching up and covering as much of himself as possible. Of course that bothered his wounds. Damn, this was not a fun situation.

They sat for the rest of the day, alternately talking and dozing. A few hours into their 'captivity' one of the women placed a bowl of water and a plate of some kind of meat in the cage. Sam retrieved it and helped the Colonel eat and drink – still a bit tricky with one incapacitated arm and one that was desperately holding on to his dignity!

"Any idea what they're waiting for Colonel?" she asked. Night was coming and there was still no clue as to what the cave people were going to do with them.

"No, no idea. Hopefully they'll just grow tired of us and let us go. Either that or they're waiting to have us for supper."

"By that I assume you mean they're going to eat us?" she asked in a small voice. She hadn't thought of that but it was a possibility.

"I was just kidding Carter. I don't thing they're cannibals."

"How do you know?"

"Well, I don't. But it looks like they have plenty of food already. Anyway, they've proved we're like them. Hopefully they don't eat their own kind."

She didn't say anymore but was still worried. Lot's of tribes ate 'their own kind' – she just prayed this wasn't one of them.

The people in the cave were all eating by this time and it wasn't a pretty sight. Manners they certainly didn't have! The men ate first and then the women had the 'left-overs'. After supper they seemed to move back to their family areas. Sam was sitting quietly, watching some of the families and the Colonel was dozing with his head leaning back. As she was watching she began to see some unusual activity at one of the fires, followed by strange noises. It was repeated at a few other fires until suddenly she realized what she was witnessing.

Crap! She glanced over at the Colonel who still seemed asleep. Thank God! She could tell she was bright red. This was very embarrassing. Just then, of course, the Colonel opened his eyes and looked right at her. She tried to hide her discomfort but he knew her too well and could sense something was wrong.

"What is it Major?" he asked with a frown. Carter had the strangest look on her face; something he'd never seen before.

"Nothing Sir", of course her words were immediately followed by a loud grunt and a soft scream. He looked over to where the sounds were coming from and stared for a minute, a puzzled look on his face. She could tell the moment he realized what he was seeing. His face went completely blank.

After a couple of seconds he looked over at her, still not saying anything.

"Uh - "

"I know", she answered shortly.

"That what I think it is?"

"Yes Sir."

"Oh." She had rarely seen Colonel O'Neill lost for words but this time he really didn't seem to know what to say. Finally he spoke,

"So, not shy then?"

"No, I guess not."

"Hmmm. I guess if you don't have your own house - ?"

"Yes, it would be hard – I mean difficult." God, she was blushing again.

More grunts and screams could be heard every couple of minutes as they sat there staring at anything but what was happening.

"So Carter, whadya think about those Red Sox?"

"Uh, they look like they're going to do well this season Sir."

"Yup." Silence, punctuated by more groans. God, these people had stamina!

"Seen any good movies lately?"

"Not really. I don't get out that much. Usually I just stay home and read or something when we're not on a mission."

"I know whatcha mean. I like to catch a bit of TV but haven't seen anything at the theater for a while." A shrill and lengthy scream rent the evening air. She assumed it was of pleasure, not of pain. As embarrassing as this was she also found herself starting to feel a bit – hot.

A few more minutes and the noise began to quiet down. (Thank God!). The fires were allowed to die down to embers and the cave grew silent. The two people from earth still sat there, not moving, not speaking. Finally,

"We should rest Carter. It's been a tough one."

"Okay. Sir how are you doing?"

"Been better but I'll survive."

"Are you cold?" She was chilly now, sitting there in just her bra and pants.

"A little." He said tentatively.

"I'm freezing Sir."

"Oh?" Great – what to do now?

"Uh, I think we should share body heat." She dove right in, knowing that he'd never suggest it. Still, it was important to consider their health more than their modesty.

The Colonel was silent, unsure of how to proceed. He couldn't remember ever feeling so uncomfortable as he was at this moment. Okay – maybe the last few moments were up there as far as 'uncomfortable' went. For the first time since this mission had begun he wished it were Daniel or Teal'c with him!

"Sir", she spoke again. "Why don't you lie down on your side with your back to me? I can, uh, spoon up behind you?" Yup, she officially wanted to die of embarrassment.

"Okay Major." What else could he say? He did as she said, carefully draping her shirt over his backside. "I'm ready." Hell, why did he say it that way – it sounded like he was waiting for her for something!

Neither of them said any more as she snuggled up close to him and gently put her arms around his waist. As embarrassing as this whole episode was, he admitted to himself that she felt really good! Soon he began to doze, exhausted by the events of the day.

As Sam slipped into sleep herself she couldn't help but notice how right this felt. Stop thinking about it Sam, she said to herself. But then, with a small smile, she snuggled up closer and went to sleep.

The next morning dawned bright and early – although very chilly. Jack could feel the ache that spread through his entire body. Every surface felt bruised, except for the tiger 'scratches' which burned and itched like crazy. He was freezing cold, sore and had never enjoyed waking up more! He could feel the warm body of his Major pressing up against his back – in fact it was the only place on his body that was warm.

He soon realized that the shirt had fallen off during the night and his bare – uh – skin was pressed up against Sam's – oh crap! He realized that the combination of morning, having to pee and a gorgeous woman pressed up against his naked body had caused a very noticeable reaction in that same body.

Okay, think of something quick Jack. Slimy, snaky Goa'ulds? Nope, didn't help. General Hammond – that should do it. No, all that did was make him feel guilty. Uh, Daniel and Teal'c – ooh – that was just wrong – but it had helped.

"Sir?" a sleepy voice mumbled into his shoulder. Double crap!

"Morning Carter." Back to square one! He knew he was in trouble if all it took was her voice.

"How are you Sir?" Her warm breath tickled his back.

"Uh, fine Carter. And you?"

She started to sit up, worried that something was wrong. His voice sounded strange. Before she had a chance to move too much he'd grabbed her hand – the one looped over his chest – and held on.

"Just stay still for a bit, okay."

"Uh, okay." She paused for a bit. "Why?"

"I don't know, uh we might as well sleep in for a bit. Nothin' else to do today."

He still sounded strange.

"I think I need to stretch Sir." She said quietly after a few minutes. Actually, she really, really had to pee and was wondering how and where to do that in their cage.

She could feel the Colonel take a deep breath and it sounded like he was muttering to himself. She thought she caught General Hammond's name and then her father's but she must have been mistaken.

"Sir?" she said again. She was getting pretty desperate.

"Okay Major." He sighed. Things were almost under control. Just don't let her –

"You going to get up Sir?"

Shit!

Sam had eventually told the Colonel to keep his back turned to her (no problem there Major!) while she went to the corner and – 'went'. It was not pleasant but at least the ground sloped away a bit. She figured the cave people could deal with the 'run off'.

She told the Colonel when it was safe to turn around but he stayed in the same position for a bit. She began to worry again when he asked her to turn her back to him. She figured he needed to use the 'facilities' as well, such as they were.

Jack finally breathed a sigh of relief. It had taken a while but things had finally calmed 'down'. He laughed to himself – he hadn't had this problem since he was a teenager. Nice to know he still had it in him.

He'd draped Sam's shirt around his waist so at least he wasn't hanging out for everyone to see. He walked to where she was sitting and carefully sat down. He noticed that the cave-people were starting to get up and move about.

"I should check your wounds Sir." Sam said softly.

"Why? You can't do anything about them if there's a problem."

"Well, it still might be better to let them air out a bit. I'd also like to bind up your shoulder again to give it some more support. Everything got loosened yesterday."

He agreed and moved in front of her so she could take off the ragged looking bandages. He figured the wounds were closed up enough so he probably could do without them although he agreed he still needed support for his collar bone.

She slowly unwound the bandages until they were all off. Laying them on her lap she carefully studied the wounds. They were healing relatively well although it looked like a few had opened a bit in yesterday's fight. They looked a bit red and sore but she didn't thing there was any infection.

"They're looking pretty good Sir, although I'm afraid you're going to have some scarring."

"What's new Major? I've lost count long ago of all my scars. I'm afraid I lost my boyish good looks a long time ago."

"Oh, I don't know about that Colonel. I'd say you're still pretty cute." She grinned at him, enjoying the little bit of flirting.

"Cute? Hey, a guy doesn't like to be referred to as -"

Suddenly, without warning they heard a noise and a lot of wild 'jabbering'. Looking up they could see a young man – or more accurately an older boy – pointing and making all sorts of noise. He seemed to be looking at Jack.

"What the hell?" The Colonel stood, carefully. "What's wrong with him?" Soon a number of the cave people had congregated outside the cave and a number of them were 'talking' and pointing.

Finally the older man – they figured he was the tribe leader – approached and looked through the bars of the cave. With a few grunts he indicated to some of the men that they should open the bars. He then walked in, followed by those same men.

He approached Jack who looked at him warily. What was this about? The older man approached and stopped, looking at wounds on Jack's chest and shoulder. He slowly reached out but Jack jerked back, uncertain as to what was happening.

The man said a few words and reached out again. This time the Colonel stood still and let the man touch the bite marks and then the scratches. He did it gently but it still made Jack nervous.

"Chuwi?" he looked at Jack. In surprise the Colonel looked at Carter.

"Sounded like a word." He said. So far all he'd caught were grunts.

"I've heard them use a few words. I don't think they have a complicated language but they do have one."

"Daniel would be in his glory." He watched as the man again reached out and repeated the word.

"Chuwi?"

"Chewie? What does that mean?" He glanced at Carter who was staring at the cave man.

"I think he's asking about the animal that did that. I think Chuwi might mean tiger."

The old man looked at her as soon as she'd said the word. He smiled (although it looked more like a grimace with his rotting teeth) and repeated 'Chuwi'.

She walked closer and repeated the word but didn't know what else to do. The 'chief' looked frustrated and turned to one of his tribe. After a few muttered words and grunts the other man moved into the larger cave. A few minutes later he returned carrying something. He walked to the chief and handed it to him.

Turning to his prisoners the older man held out his hand. In his palm was a large tooth.

Jack reached out and picked it up. Oh yeah, he recognized that tooth all right. Pointing to his shoulder and the tooth marks he nodded and repeated 'Chuwi'.

The cave erupted in noise with men, women and children all talking and gesturing. It was a little creepy to say the least.

"Carter?" he asked as he was suddenly being led out of the cage. Turning slightly he could see that some of the women had taken hold of Sam and were bringing her with them. No one seemed to be threatening them so he relaxed slightly, although he still worried about what was occurring.

"I think it's a good thing Sir. I think maybe they see it as some kind of initiation rite – or maybe a sign of bravery. I'd just go with it."

"Okay, I can do that." He turned and smiled to the men leading him to the central fire pit. "Yup – Chuwi! The Chuwi did that – I fought him and won. Well, that's not true really. It was actually Carter. You wouldn't know it to look at her but she's one heck of a soldier. If Teal'c were here he'd call her a 'strong warrior' – which she is. Yup, I've got the best Major in the world." He kept chattering as they pressed him to sit down. He'd had a difficult time keeping the shirt around him as he'd walked and even more so as he sat.

The men around him – especially the young ones – seemed totally mesmerized with him. He guessed not many people survived to tell the story when attacked by a 'Chuwi'. He loved the name – figured it was very descriptive!

From being treated like a prisoner he was now a hero. The people brought food and water and made him eat. Looking around at the dirty hands and faces he was a bit concerned but at least the food had been cooked. This time he was given some kind of stew – which actually looked like it had vegetables in it. That was good – it had been too long since they'd had anything but meat.

Realizing that Sam wasn't by the fire he panicked a bit and began looking around. One of the men laughed and made a rather crude gesture – which he took to mean Sam. He nodded and the man pointed to where the women were sitting with her. They were touching her hair and clothes, clearly curious as to her coloring and what she was wearing.

Speaking of wearing! He tried to explain to the men that he really wanted his clothes back. After gesturing for a few minutes he finally figured he'd gotten through to them. One of the men left and returned a few minutes later. He leaned over and put some kind of necklace over Jack's head. Looking down he realized it was a tiger tooth on a piece of leather.

"Nice! Thank you. Now, how about some clothes?" He pointed down at the shirt around his hips. "Clothes. You know – things to cover my body?" He looked around at the men and couldn't see one of them wearing anything but jewelry. Surely they had to wear something in the winter?

"Okay guys – you gotta help me here. On my planet the men – or women for that matter – don't go around naked. It's considered rude and it's also a little uncomfortable. You may be used to just hangin' around but I kinda like to protect my uh – assets. Please – just give me my pants!"

He finally figured they got it by their gestures. He nodded, pleased and watched as another of the young men got up and walked away. A few minutes later he returned with a bundle. Jack recognized the material – but it was no longer in the shape of pants or a shirt. He was now looking at long strips of cloth, ripped from his clothes.

"Damn!" Now what was he going to wear. He could not go around like these guys.

There was more jabbering and one of the men reached out and grabbed Carter's shirt before he had the chance to hold on to it.

"Oh come on! I need that." He tried to get up but was pushed back down and he was really too weak to force the matter. Sighing he sat on the hard ground and watched the young man wrap the shirt around his waist like Jack had done. He then came up and made some kind of gesture which Jack took to mean 'thanks'. It appears he had just given the shirt away.

"Carter", he called out, when things grew a bit quieter. "you okay over there?"

"Yes Sir. They're just looking me over. I don't think they've seen clothes like mine before."

"No, I know they haven't." he muttered.

"Are you alright Colonel?"

"Yeah – I'm just a little chilly again. Did you get something to eat?"

"No, not yet. Did you? I'm kinda hungry."

"Yeah, they gave me some stew. I didn't ask what was in it but it tasted not too bad. I'll see if you can have some."

He pointed to his empty bowl and then towards Carter. The men began to nod and one called over to the women. Carter was immediately brought to the fire.

Damn – and he didn't have anything to cover himself with.

One of the women – a younger one – actually giggled as she led Carter over. The men all stood back as she approached. Once Carter had arrived to stand by the Colonel the tribal chief gestured for her to sit down beside him. She looked a little pink – having noticed the Colonel no longer had her shirt. She sat down, not looking at him.

He was feeling a bit 'pink' himself. He edged a little away from her, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable, but the young woman laughed again and pushed Carter back over. Okay, he got the point.

He was brought a bowl of the stew and went to hand it to her but a couple of people let out a squawk. Looking around he got the impression he wasn't to give her the bowl. Okay, what the hell was he to do then? He looked at the older man who began to gesture.

"Sir, I think they want you to feed me." She said quietly.

"Feed you? Why?"

"I don't know. It must be some kind of ritual or something."

"Okay, but I don't have a spoon or fork or anything."

She looked back at the chief who was gesturing with his hands and was smiling. Sighing she glanced at the Colonel.

"I think you're supposed to use your hands."

"Why do they want us to do this? None of the other men or women did it."

"I don't know but I wouldn't argue. And please Colonel, I'm really hungry."

So, for the next few minutes he scooped stew from the bowl and fed it to her. It was messy, for both of them, but it was also kind of erotic. He had to concentrate very hard on not letting it affect him.

Finally, when he was done, a cheer went around the room. These people were very strange, he decided.

An older woman and man came up, each holding something. The woman walked to Jack and smeared something on his face. He backed away but she grabbed his jaw and held him as she put whatever it was across his forehead, cheeks and chin. She then reached and removed a necklace from around her neck and handed it to Sam. The man, probably her husband, did the same thing to Sam.

"Sam?"

"I don't know Sir. It's some kind of ceremony. I don't know what it means. I suggest we just go along with it."

"Okay". The 'cave-couple' indicated that they were to put the necklaces on each other, which they did. There was again more noise among the gathered people. Jack glanced up at that and happened to see the man who had attacked him with the spear and saw that he was looking at him with hate-filled eyes. Uh oh – that guy was trouble! The man eventually turned and walked out of the cave. Jack knew he'd have to keep an eye on him.

"So, no ideas as to what that was about?" he said, turning back to Carter.

"Well, it could either be that we've been made members of the tribe - "

"Or?"

"Or we're married."