Author's Note:

I should have known I couldn't keep this as a one shot! Another song jumped out and grabbed me and I caved - but I'm not calling this a song fic because it's kind of incidental to the chapter. This starts out during S02E05 'Condemned'. The song is 'This Old Love' by Lior - you can find it on YouTube but Lior has an awesome website (lior dot com dot au): click on Songs at the bottom of the home page. In the top left hand corner of that page is a drop down list of songs you can just play, including This Old Love. Oh, and I know I haven't gotten to review replies for the first chapter of this yet - I will, but in the mean time thank you to those who reviewed. Your comments kept this idea at the forefront of my mind, and look what happened - more story!

Chapter 2: Behind the facade

He missed her. As Evan Lorne walked wearily down the halls of Atlantis towards his quarters, he was once again struck by that one inescapable fact. He missed Amy, more than he'd expected, which was disturbing since he'd expected to miss her a lot.

They'd been separated by his job in the past but it was amazing the difference it made not being able to pick up the phone and just call her. Funny too how memory played tricks on your mind. How could he not have noticed how often he'd done exactly that in the past? Cashed in a favour when things got tough to call home, just so he could hear her voice. Even though he'd never been able to tell her much, somehow it hadn't mattered. He'd still hung up feeling lighter for having experienced a few minutes of shared time. No wonder she hadn't let him do the honourable thing and end their relationship - she'd known he needed her to be there for him.

"Major Lorne, this is Weir."

Lorne stopped, activating his radio. "Go ahead."

"I may have to go off world to assist Colonel Sheppard. I'd like you to assemble a team and have a Puddle Jumper ready to go."

"Yes, ma'am." With a sigh, Lorne reversed direction and headed back the way he'd come. His team had just returned from a strenuous off world mission - mostly because they hadn't been able to take a Puddle Jumper. It had something to do with humidity levels and electromagnetic whatevers - Lorne had tuned Doctor McKay out at that point. The bottom line was that the gate had been a long way from the nearest settlement and with the heavy humidity everyone's energy had flagged long before they were done.

It was only mid afternoon on Atlantis but he'd been planning on just falling into bed, clothes and all. Clearly the Pegasus galaxy had different plans for him. Evan had been there a month and had already seen the rescue of a Wraith runner and the escape of one of their own officers, hyped up on Wraith enzyme, not to mention the 'Cadman stuck in McKay's head incident. Lorne wouldn't say nothing could surprise him anymore, but it would have to be something pretty damn unusual to do the trick!

"Coughlin, Reed, gear up and meet me in the Jumper Bay," he ordered over the radio as he headed in that direction himself. Both men had been with him since his first mission in Pegasus and had unofficially become his team. Both marines, they were friendly but didn't seem to require him to make small talk, and were the opposite of 'touchy feely' – exactly what Lorne needed.

"Yes Sir," Coughlin's voice came back, briskly.

Hours later, once again making that trek back to his quarters, Evan felt grateful. They'd avoided three Wraith cruisers and trouble from the kind of political selfishness that turned a guy's stomach to rescue Colonel Sheppard and his team.

Lorne already had the sense that being called in to facilitate his CO's return to Atlantis could turn into a full time job all on its own. Not that he minded, on two fronts. One, because he'd already decided he liked and respected Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, more than any prior commanding officer he'd served with. The overriding reason though was that he needed to be busy, to keep his mind off of things he had no business thinking about while he was on duty, as well as to tire himself out so he'd get some decent sleep.

Evan had already garnered a reputation for being focussed and purposeful - Major Lorne was the quintessential steady military officer, there when needed and never letting anything of his internal thoughts show. Evan was okay with that rep because it meant he'd been successful at hiding the personal side of himself. And if it saddened him a little, how good he'd gotten at hiding what were pretty intense emotions, well ... he had only himself to blame.

Making it all the way to his door this time, he swiped a hand over the controls, taking off his jacket as he walked inside. Stopping only to pull off his boots he stretched out on his bed with a groan. He was tired enough that sleeping shouldn't be a problem. Turning to his side, he rested his head on his pillow, his eyes on the only item on his bedside table.

Amy - smiling out at him with a twinkle in her eyes that suggested she had something she couldn't wait to tell him. Probably true too - Amy always had something interesting to say. With a sigh he rolled to his back, his eyes on the ceiling. Was it working, this across the galaxies thing they had going? Her letters suggested it was - the last one full of plans for his first leave home. They hadn't set a date yet - because he wasn't sure when that leave would happen - but Amy didn't seem to care, all her plans small enough they could be changed at a moment's notice if need be. She was busy with that, with her work for an interior design products company, and apparently with spending some time with his Mom. It sounded like she was doing much better than he was in fact, something that really shouldn't have bothered Evan as much as it did.

He should be happy she was handling everything ... not worried that it indicated something, but ... did she not miss him? Had the unthinkable happened? Had she gotten so used to him being away that it had become the norm?

All Lorne knew for sure was that every letter he wrote home was a struggle to find the balance between revealing that on a personal front he was miserable and going too much the other way in an effort to reassure her that he was okay. His 'read between the lines' was that the work was interesting and meaningful enough to be worth the distance between them but that of course he missed her very much. He had no idea how well he was doing on convincing Amy of that particular reality because she hadn't commented – which wasn't really like her at all. And now he was wondering why.

He'd resorted to sending a few of what could only be described as mushy love letters too – because he knew she'd be charmed by them more than that the prose came naturally to him. Thankfully personal mail wasn't screened by anyone back at the SGC – he wasn't sure he'd live down the 'hopeless romantic' tag he'd get if anyone aside from Amy were to read them.

With a groan Evan rolled over, burying his head in his pillow. It was time for sleep to come and quiet his brain.

"Trading missions are the best," Reed commented to Coughlin, the two men walking side by side behind Lorne and Teyla. Evan exchanged a glance with Teyla, noting that she seemed equally amused by his young team mates enthusiasm.

"Thank you again for escorting me to Belkan Major Lorne," Teyla said graciously. "My people have need of equipment with which to prepare for sowing next season's crops."

"No problem," Lorne returned. "We should be able to fit everything you need into the back of the Jumper."

"Yes," Teyla smiled back at Reed and Coughlin. "And then perhaps your men will have the opportunity to peruse the outpost for their own needs."

"If we have time," Evan agreed.

"The man I deal with is usually in the tavern at this time of day," Teyla pointed further down the makeshift main street of Belkan.

Lorne nodded, taking up an instinctively protective position close to the Athosian leader as they approached. She didn't need it – as an accomplished fighter she could probably kick Lorne's ass halfway to Sunday, but there was no such thing as too many people watching your back.

"Mattas," she greeted a man at the bar with a smile.

"Teyla," Mattas stood and the two exchanged a formal greeting. "What brings you to Belkan this fine day?" the trader asked once Teyla was sitting.

"The planting season will soon be upon us," Teyla explained. "My people have need of additional tools to clear the fields and prepare for new crops."

"I'm sure we can come to some kind of arrangement then," Mattas's face took on a calculating expression.

"Yes, I am sure we can," Teyla agreed, her eyes narrowing shrewdly.

Lorne stood back to listen as the two went back and forth, his posture an obvious message to any who considered approaching that Teyla was not without back up.

"Okay, deal," Mattas finally said reluctantly. "You drive a hard bargain Teyla."

"As do you," Teyla replied. "There is one more thing you can perhaps assist me with."

"And what would that be?" Mattas looked interested.

"We have heard of a new type of flax seed," Teyla explained, "one more resistant to disease. Have you a source for this?"

"I know of it," Mattas frowned, thinking for a moment. "I don't have a source but if you can wait a few weeks I can put you in touch with someone who does. Goes by the name Hendon."

"Yes, we have traded before," Teyla nodded.

"Come back in three weeks – I'll set you up with a meeting," Mattas arranged.

"Thank you," Teyla inclined her head gracefully.

The two shook hands and then Teyla stood, motioning for Evan to follow her.

"Get what you needed?" he asked curiously.

"Yes and for a very fair price," Teyla looked pleased. "Mattas will have the items ready for collection later in the day."

"Looks like you two get your wish," Lorne told Reed and Coughlin as they rejoined the two men who'd stood guard outside the tavern.

"Sir?" Reed looked hopeful.

"Take a break. Go, look around," Evan gave them leave to browse. "Just don't get swindled okay. And stick together."

"Yes Sir!" Coughlin straightened for a moment and then grinned at Reed. "Come on," he pointed in one direction.

Watching them head off Lorne smiled faintly.

"You have no wish to look around yourself Major?" Teyla asked curiously.

"I'm at your disposal Ma'am," Evan said. "If you'd like to look around I'd be happy to escort you."

"Very well," Teyla's brow rose as she regarded Evan. "I have been here many times in the past, without an escort."

"Yes Ma'am," Evan agreed, "but this is the first time I've brought you here. I'm pretty sure Colonel Sheppard wouldn't see your past trips as an acceptable explanation should something happen to you."

"No," Teyla smiled again, giving in graciously.

Lorne walked beside her as she did what could only be described as window shopping. He gave most of the stalls a cursory glance, not really interested in what the trading post had to offer.

And then sunlight glinted on metal and he found himself drawn to the wares of one particular trader.

Teyla followed, touching a hand to his arm when he stopped a step away from the display. "Janna is a well respected jewellery maker Major," she commented. "I would be happy to assist you in acquiring something."

"I'm not ...,' Evan trailed off when he spotted it. A ring, small, made of a metal that looked like a cross between platinum and gold. An intensely blue stone of some kind, small but clearly visible, was set into the top and surrounded by carved symbols. It was simple and yet complex – it looked strong but also delicate enough that it wouldn't swamp a woman's finger.

"A beautiful piece," the trader, Janna, immediately picked up on where her customer's interest lay. "I found the stone near a ruined temple of the Ancestors and have never seen it's like since. The carvings were there too. It reads Lux lucis Diligo. Vita. Una." She smiled. "A friend translated this to mean Light. Love. Life. Together."

"And you are sure of your friend's skill with the Ancient language?" Teyla queried on Evan's behalf.

"I am," Janna said confidently. "Does the ring interest you?"

Lorne took a 'thinking' breath, his expression blank. If he traded for the ring would he even be able to give it to Amy? Did he want to go down that road, since it would mean he'd have to talk to Colonel Sheppard to get permission? But as he looked at the ring he couldn't get over how perfect it was for Amy, how the stone would compliment her eyes, while the carvings would intrigue and delight her. He wouldn't have to tell her the true origin. And he'd have to talk to Colonel Sheppard about his plans eventually anyway. He was in the air force. Where a civilian could go off and marry whoever they wanted without informing their employer he didn't have that luxury, not if he wanted to keep the respect of his CO. There'd be paper work he'd want to fill in too, to make sure Amy would be taken care of should anything happen to him. So for all intents and purposes he needed Sheppard's approval before he could do anything.

"Major?" Teyla watched him patiently, her expression telling him she'd already guessed a little of where his thoughts had gone.

He nodded, silently telling her that yes, he did want that ring.

Teyla smiled, turning back to Janna. "What do you wish in exchange for this item?" she opened the barter, once again with a shrewd expression on her face. Lorne kept out of it, listening as Janna talked about how unique – one of a kind – the ring was, while Teyla countered that the value of the stone and the validity of the translated carvings could not be verified. Eventually the two women seemed to come to an agreement.

"Janna has need of additional material for her work," Teyla told Evan. "She will give you the ring in exchange for four standard weights of whatever metals you can provide."

Evan frowned, thinking about the things he'd brought with him from Earth. He had a pewter figure his sister had given him a few years back – it had sentimental value but there were other things Elaine had given him that he valued more. Besides, she wouldn't mind once she learned he'd sold the figure to buy a ring for Amy – she hadn't been shy in asking him over the years when he was going to give in to the inevitable. "I have something that should be sufficient," he said.

"Then the ring is yours," Janna replied, "once payment has been received, of course."

"Some of the goods promised in my own trade are back in the city Major," Teyla told Evan, her expression carefully innocent. "My transaction with Mattas will not be complete unless someone returns to retrieve them. Perhaps you would undertake this service for me?"

Evan met Teyla's eyes, touched that she would do so much for him when they didn't even know each other that well. He owed her an explanation but first he had to finish what he'd started by approaching the jeweller's stall. "I'll be back as soon as I can," he said, waiting for her nod before he turned and strode back up the street.

Deciding to leave the Jumper where it was, Lorne headed back on foot. Lucky for him the gate wasn't far away. He covered the distance, dialling Atlantis and letting them know he was coming through to get something Teyla required. Doctor Weir gave him the all clear and within minutes he was back in the city and on his way to the store room to pick up the supplies Teyla had promised Mattas in exchange for her tools. He was well aware that immediate delivery wasn't usually required, that Teyla had decided on the different approach this time to give him the opportunity to complete his own transaction.

Stopping by his quarters on the way he grabbed the pewter statue and put it in one of his tac vest pockets. Less than an hour later he was walking back towards the trading outpost on Belkan, laden down with two heavy packs for Teyla.

"Forgive me Major, but may I ask for whom you acquired the ring?" Teyla asked quietly.

They'd rendezvoused with Reed and Coughlin, finished Teyla's trade with Mattas and were heading back to the Jumper with her tools. The other two men had gone on ahead, making quick time so they could do another trip to pick up the last of the items.

"Ah – sure, of course," Evan replied, feeling awkward all of a sudden. "It's for a ah ... a friend, back on Earth."

"You have a mate back home?" Teyla looked surprised.

"I'm not sure I understand what that means exactly," Lorne returned. "What do the Athosians call it when a couple agrees to legally bind themselves sometime in the future?"

"Betrothed," Teyla smiled. "You are betrothed?"

"Ah – yeah, I guess" Evan admitted, rubbing the back of his neck as he studiously avoided noticing her expression. "I asked her just before I shipped out ... didn't have time to get a ring."

Teyla looked at him for a moment and then nodded. "I am sure your betrothed will appreciate receiving something whenever you are able to return home."

"Amy," Evan offered. "Her name is Amy."

"A lovely name Major," Teyla said graciously. "And please ... do not be concerned. I will not reveal your circumstances to anyone."

"I know that," Lorne shrugged. "It's not a secret ... I just can't talk about it, you know ..."

"You are a long way from your home," Teyla commented understandingly. "It must be difficult."

Nodding, Lorne turned his attention back to the path. They were almost at the Jumper and he should be focussing on the mission, not his personal concerns.

"She is a lucky woman," Teyla put a hand to his arm before ducking into the back section, moving to place her goods securely for transport.

Evan wished he could believe that, that Amy was lucky, but the equation always seemed stacked in his favour.

"Sir, do you have a minute?" Lorne stood in Colonel Sheppard's office doorway.

"Lorne – sure, come in," John replied, nodding to the one visitor's chair he had available. "What can I do for you?"

"It's a personal matter Sir," Evan began. Cringing a little inside he decided to just blurt out his request and get it over with. "In accordance with air force instruction 36-2609 it's my duty to inform you of my intention to marry during my next leave back home, Sir. I'd also appreciate your approval to send an item I acquired here back to Earth with the Daedalus on her next trip."

"Whoa, hold up," Sheppard held up a hand, his expression incredulous. "You're engaged?"

"Ah ... yes Sir," Lorne replied simply.

"How is it I'm only hearing about this now?" John asked.

"I haven't told anyone," Evan admitted. "It happened the day before I shipped out. I guess I just didn't want to talk about it Sir."

"And you wouldn't be talking about it now unless you had to," Sheppard concluded. "Look, strictly speaking you don't need permission since you're not marrying a foreign national," he looked at Lorne quizzically, "you aren't, are you?"

Lorne shook his head.

"Right," John continued. "Atlantis counts as an overseas command though. I'm sure we can find some kind of form to fill in just to cover our backs. I'm probably supposed to question you about whether you think you can still perform your duties with the additional family responsibility. Since you've been performing the past three months without me even suspecting you had someone back home I think we can skip that part."

"Thank you Sir," Evan said gratefully.

"No problem," Sheppard returned. "So – what was it you wanted to send to Earth?"

"This," Lorne put a hand in his pocket and pulled out the small leather pouch Janna had put the ring in. He reluctantly handed it over, knowing the Colonel would have to examine it closely to decide whether it posed a secrecy risk.

"Nice," Sheppard commented, resting the ring on his palm and looking at it intently. "Ancient?" he queries of the carved symbols.

"Apparently," Lorne shrugged. "The vendor I traded with wasn't exactly convincing on its origins. I was thinking a person wouldn't know it was a language unless they'd seen used in that context before, like we have."

"It still doesn't look like a language to me," John quipped. He considered the ring for a few moments more and then dropped it back in the pouch. "Permission granted," he said briskly, holding it out.

"Thank you Sir," Lorne put the ring back in his pocket. "I ah ... would it be too much to ask for you to keep this to yourself Sir?"

Sheppard's brow rose and he regarded his 2IC intently. "Anything you discuss with me is confidential," he reminded Evan. "I wouldn't have pegged you for the shy type though Major."

"How many questions do you think I'd get if told people Sir?" Lorne asked simply.

"Since you've been tagged as Major Mysterious I'd say more than a few," John nodded, understanding. His expression turned compassionate as he considered the implications. Lorne had presumably asked someone he was in love with to marry him the day before he'd gotten on the Daedalus and travelled more than three million light years away from her. That had to suck, big time. It was a long time since John's married days but he still remembered that wrench every time he'd left Nancy for a new tour. "I'm guessing you don't want my sympathy either."

"It was my choice Sir," Evan shook his head. "Besides, I'm not the only one with family back home."

"True," Sheppard agreed. He didn't say the rest – that Lorne was the only command level staff member that John knew of with that predicament. The enlisted guys weren't in it for the long haul either – Lorne was. "Regardless, if you want to talk about this, you can come to me."

"Thank you Sir," Lorne was genuinely grateful for the offer. Taking that as his cue to leave he turned towards the door.

"If you're looking for someone trustworthy to hand deliver that ring I might be able to help," Sheppard offered.

"I've got it covered Sir," Evan replied, reminding the Colonel that he'd served at the SGC for a time before transferring to Atlantis.

"Right – just make sure they don't do it in uniform," John advised. "Good luck Major."

Nodding, Lorne took his leave.

Amy Rousseau smiled as she plugged her IPod into the speakers, scrolling quickly through her albums before choosing the first that struck her fancy. Sitting at her desk she opened the latest design she was working on, letting the music fall to the background as her concentration heightened. She had no idea how many songs played before the strains of a guitar introduction captured her attention again.

"Yes, yeah we're moving on,
Looking for direction,
Mmmm, we've covered much ground.
Thinking back to innocence,
I can no longer connect,
I don't have a heart left to throw around."

With a sigh she pushed away from her desk, her eyes going to the picture of Evan that sat proudly displayed next to her monitor. It had been true for so many years that her heart wasn't hers. She'd given it to a fourteen year old boy who'd taken another ten years to accept it for the gift it was. She had no regrets though, even now when she hadn't spoken to him for over three months - the longest she'd gone without at least a phone call since he'd gone to the academy. They'd covered a lot of emotional ground, the two of them, but never more so than on the day he'd come to tell her he was being reassigned. Amy smiled down at her ring finger, still empty, imagining how it would be when Evan came home.

"Ooh, and time moves on like a train,
That disappears into the night sky.
Yeah, I still get a sad feeling inside,
To see the red tail lights wave goodbye."

Time had always seemed like the enemy to her, the clock resolutely ticking away the days where a real future with Evan could still be a possibility. And then he'd surprised her, taking her bold suggestion that they get married and actually proposing, making the future suddenly seem much closer. It had been such an impulsive gesture that at first she hadn't believed he meant it - Evan usually planned out every action well in advance, needing to create both a feeling of control and as many barriers as he could to convince everyone he didn't feel things as strongly as he did. Now time was her friend because every day that went by was a day less separating her from what she wanted most in the world.

"But we'll grow old together,
We'll grow old together,
And this love will never,
This old love will never die."

Yes, they would grow old together, if she had any kind of say in it. Of course, she wanted Evan to be stationed somewhere 'normal' long before that happened!

"Well, money slips into your hands,
And then slips out like it was sand,
And there's shoes that you can never seem to fill.
I've chased so much and lost my way
Maybe a face for everyday,
That's so casually slipped me by.

Ooh, and time moves on like a train,
That disappears into the night sky.
Yeah, I still get this sad feeling inside,
To see the red tail lights wave goodbye.

But we'll grow old together,
We'll grow old together,
And this love will never,
This old love will never die."

No one could ever fill Evan's shoes. It amazed her sometimes that someone who didn't even live with her could have such an impact but he did. His absence left a gaping hole in her routine that no amount of work or trips to San Francisco to see Grace Lorne could fill. But she refused to lose her way! Maybe someone else would question her believe or her approach but she'd made comittment to having Evan Lorne in her life. Not in a selfish or manipulative way – she'd known for a long time that he wasn't ready and she'd never pushed him. But Amy had always been equally sure that Evan needed her just as much as she needed him. He'd had been her only goal for a while there, until that one night when he'd come home for the weekend, upset over something that had gone wrong and trying to hide it. All she'd done was comfort him – he was the one who'd all but propelled them over the friendship line, with his heated kisses and his passion and the warmth and kindness of his heart. Even if she hadn't already been sure with all her heart that he was 'the one', he would have won her over then.

"Morning comes,
Sometimes with a smile,
Sometimes with a frown.
Yeah, so i never want to worry,
If you gonna stay around."

Lately she'd been worried. Evan tried to convince her in the letters he wrote that he was doing well but she knew him. Sure, he was doing great work wise – he always did – but otherwise he was miserable. Hiding it very well no doubt – in fact she'd be surprised if he'd even told anyone about her. Amy wouldn't take it personally if he hadn't – Evan was intensely private and he'd hated sympathy – he'd call it pity – since he'd had to endure so much of it after his Dad's accident. She'd overcompensated for his mood by making her own letters full of fluff – it wouldn't help him to know that she was miserable too.

Knock knock.

Reaching for her IPod, Amy touched a finger to the pause symbol as the knock sounded again. Hurrying to the door she peered through the peep hole first and then opened it.

"Ma'am," a young man stood on her door step, his posture ramrod straight.

For a moment Amy felt dizzy, pegging him for military in an instance. Had something happened to Evan? "Don't be silly Amy," she told herself. "They'd send someone in uniform if this was an official visit." "Yes?" she queried aloud.

"My name is Captain Harris Ma'am," the man replied. "I served with Major Lorne before he was transferred."

"Oh," Amy smiled. "Gabe, right?"

"Yes Ma'am," Harris returned, smiling.

"Come in," Amy invited.

"That's okay Ma'am," Harris replied. "I'm just here to deliver something, on behalf of Major Lorne." He held out a larger than usual envelope. "It came in with the last mail load," he added when Amy frowned.

"Thank you Captain," Amy said, taking the package.

"I'll leave you to your mail Ma'am," Harris stood straight again. "With your permission I'll just sit in my car for a few minutes – that way I can deliver a response, if you wanted."

"That's very kind. Thank you Gabe," Amy said absently, turning the envelope over in her hand and glancing at the blank back, hardly noticing him leaving. Taking it inside she closed the front door before walking back to her home office and sitting on the couch. Working a finger under the flap she pealed open the envelope, taking out the folded sheet of paper. The envelope still had weight – shaking it upside down she just managed to catch the small leather pouch that fell out before it dropped to the floor.

Opening the letter, she smiled on seeing Evan's handwriting.

"Amy,

I hope Gabe didn't scare you turning up like that. I asked him to dress casual so you wouldn't think the worst, seeing a uniform on the doorstep. This isn't the way I wanted to be doing this ... maybe you didn't mean to be but you've been a little distant in your letters lately. It's stupid but I couldn't get the idea out of my head, and then ... I found something. Open the pouch that came with this letter."

Amy paused in reading to do what he'd instructed. Her insides leapt as soon as her fingers brushed the metal and she realised what it was. A ring! Taking it out she couldn't help the small gasp that escaped her. It was beautiful – like nothing she'd ever seen before. Turning back to the letter she kept reading.

"I want you to wear that so everyone knows you're off the market. I'm sorry I'm not there to put it on your finger myself. It's probably not what you were thinking of for an engagement ring either, but I hope the fact that it's something of where I am right now will make up for that."

"It's perfect," Amy murmured, slowing pushing the ring up onto her ring finger. Her eyes misted and her heart raced when it was done. It was official. She was really going to marry Evan Lorne!

"I still can't tell you when I'll be home ... and if you decide you made a mistake, that you don't want to put your life on hold for me anymore, I'll understand. I just want you to be happy.

Love always,

Evan."

"Oh," Amy sighed. He was doubting her ... she knew Evan trusted her implicitly as she did him so how as that possible? Because all they had to rely on was the letters they'd exchanged – imperfect words open to interpretation and influenced by mood at the time of reading them. She'd made hers too light hearted, so determined to make things easy for him so he wouldn't feel guilty that she'd missed his own vulnerability.

Jumping up she grabbed her notepad and began writing.

"Evan,

The ring is perfect. I love it. I love you! So much that I was trying to make it easy for you by not admitting how miserable I am. I'm sorry if that made me seem distant because nothing could be further from the truth.

I miss you. I miss talking to you, I miss seeing you. I miss going past the base and thinking that you're in there somewhere, working away. That feeling never goes away – I won't get used to it and it won't be better until you're back.

Do you see?

Come home when you can ... I'll be waiting.

All my love forever.

Amy."

Folding the paper and stuffing it in an envelope she dashed towards the front door and out onto the sidewalk. "Gabe," she smiled, relieved he hadn't left yet. "If you could get this to Major Lorne as soon as possible I'd be so grateful."

"No problem Ma'am," Harris replied, taking the letter and tucking in into his inside jacket pocket.

"Thank you," Amy smiled, stepping back to let Gabe start his car.

Back in the house she stood for a moment, not sure what she should do next. Work – that always took her mind off of things, for a little while anyway. Sitting down she pressed play on her IPod again.

"So let's grow old together,
We'll grow old together,
And this love will never,
This old love will never die."

Amy smiled down at her ring finger, now adorned with a tangible symbol of the future. It shouldn't make a difference, and yet it did. Her eyes misted over again as she let herself feel both the happiness that Evan had done something so loving for her, as well as the despair at how far away from her he seemed. It hurt, every day, but she never wanted to get used to the feeling. Keeping the pain close kept everything close, and Evan deserved no less.

"Yes, yeah we're movin' on,
Movin' right along..."

The End ... again!

Author's Note 2:

I did a bit of research on whether Lorne had to get some kind of official permission to marry someone ... AIR FORCE INSTRUCTION 36-2609 does exist and deals with overseas commands and immigration of foreign nationals mostly - but it does mention people stationed overseas in a more general sense too. From what I read though it seems more a chain of command type courtesy to inform a CO of your intentions, before you run off to get married. You can find this and other air force publications at e-publishing dot af dot mil. The Latin I used came via translation-guide dot com.

I'm not sure if I'm going to continue this or not - I guess I'm open to requests if you want to convince me I should.